Hi everyone!
This is my fist fic, so please don't be too harsh. I don't own Rurouni Kenshin either. Thanks!
The ground beneath Kenshin's feet was so frozen it felt like a slab of stone. And of course, his magenta gi wasn't exactly keeping him warm out in the cold weather either. But that was to be expected, since it was so old and torn from usage.
'Maybe this'll teach you to start spending your money on yourself every once and a while, baka.' He thought morbidly as he continued to cross the dimly lit graveled streets to return to the dojo. His home.
Amethyst eyes were trained to the road in front of him when his vision started to blur. The street lights, white snow and barren trees beginning to mold together as one in his slightly delirious eyes. Squinting, he tried to keep them focused, which helped slightly, but the corners of his eyes were still seeing things blurrily. Cursing to himself softly, he continued his tread home. Glancing every once and a while at the streets which contained no people.
'Strange...But rational. It's so cold out tonight, I don't really want to be out here either' he thought. He started to grip the little bucket of tofu that Kaoru had requested for in the first place tightly, which was why he was in his current situation.
"Kenshin...?" Kaoru softly called in the distance.
He, who was doing the laundry at the time, realized that she was far away, so Kenshin stood and left his task to go meet her to ask what she wanted of him.
Meeting her in the kitchen, he smiled blankly at her. A fake smile. Typical Kenshin.
" Yes, Kaoru-dono?" He asked softly, which had made her shiver. Which Kenshin of course, pretended not to notice. It was always the way he said her name that did that to her, the gentle way he rolled her name off his lips.
They had been staring into each other's eyes for a long moment, longer than necessary.
Kenshin loved her eyes, he could always see right into them, know what she was feeling at that moment. Her shining happy eyes that were always slightly darkened by her ever present sadness. Her eyes reflected the ocean, calming and peaceful one moment, and horrendously angry the next, swallowing up helpless sailors and ships. The sailors and ships usually being Kenshin, Sanosuke and Yahiko of course.
Suddenly, Kaoru snapped out of her haze and said " I was wondering, I know it's colder than a snowman's butt crack out there but...Would you go and fetch some more tofu please? We're running kind of low, and I wanted to get more before it gets too cold to even be outside." Kaoru spoke swiftly, knowing that she had been staring at him and becoming embarrassed. Kenshin could already see a twinge of pink across her cheeks.
"Yes, of course Kaoru-dono, I'll return shortly" he had replied to her, smiling for real this time. He thought that he could be home before dark, if he was lucky. Returning his smile with her own brightly, she said a thank you softly and turned swiftly on her heel in the other direction to return to whatever she was currently doing. Practicing, most likely, considering she had her training gi on.
Smiling softly to himself as he watched her walk away, her too, turned towards the door, only to see what lay ahead of him outside, which made his smile fade.
'Damn it, I don't want to go out there...' he though to himself as he braced himself and opened the door, to confronted with old man winter's stinging wind. Sighing, he ventured out to accomplish the task at hand.
If it made his Kaoru happy...
Rolling his shoulders to keep the blood flowing, he continued his trek.
'Oh Kaoru, my Kaoru...what wouldn't I do for you?' he thought and sighed deeply. But the deep intake of breath hurt his lungs, which were sensitive to the frigid air. After thinking about what he wouldn't do for Kaoru for a while he came to this conclusion; nothing.
There was nothing he wouldn't do for Kaoru to keep her happy and safe.
He wasn't a dummy, contrary to popular belief. He knew that Kaoru loved him, and had for a long time. He could just tell by the way she looked at him, her eyes would be softer than usual, and shaded slightly. It made his heat skip a beat too, whenever she looked at him like that. For he too, knew that he loved her, ever since he met her. Even back then, the darker, more feral side of him had already claimed her.
So, you might ask yourself, what's keeping him from admitting his love?
It wasn't the guilt. Not the guilt of killing Tomoe, or all of the bloodshed on his hands. No. Sure, he was extremely guilt-ridden of that but, Kaoru, he knew, had accepted him for that long ago.
'I don't care about your past Kenshin'
Those words had shocked him, bewildered him in fact. Why?! Why would she accept a stranger for mass murder?! But, it had also been a soothing balm to his raw wounded heart and soul.
Kaoru's forgiving nature was something he loved deeply about her. Her modest carefree attitude towards others. It was both shocking and relieving. The way she just trusted him, no second thought, was baffling to him. ...But, especially with another life! Her Life! Perhaps it was her naivety, but he would rather think it wasn't that. Who could trust the Hitokiri Batousai?!
'Apparently Kaoru, baka' He thought, and smiled to himself through the peircing wind. Speaking of peircing, he really needed to get back before parts of him begin to get numb, like his ears, which were both numb and hurting from the wind's sound; like nails on a chalkboard.
It was the fear, ironically enough. The fear of confessing his love and starting a life with her, and having her life constantly being in jeopardy. It wasn't that he didn't want to save her. But, what if he hadn't been quick enough? What if an enemy had done the unthinkable to her? That was what held his Rurouni behavior in check.
His muscles were slightly achy from the cold air and the strain put on the as he crossed the steep hill which was now extremely icy.
'Almost home' he thought, his lips slightly parting to let more air pass through his lungs. This was the last hill, all he would have to do was cross over to see the dojo.
The ground around him was very slippery actually. He would have to try to balance the bucket of tofu and step over the iced puddles. Any passer by would find this extremely amusing. Kenshin didn't though, he was growing slightly aggravated as his eyesight continued to blur more, his brows knit close in concentration of not falling.
Suddenly, as he was in the middle of stepping over an icy spot, he put his foot down too soon and, shifting his weight to that foot as he lifted the other to meet it, he lost his footing.
The rest was in slow motion for him, he knew he was falling, backwards in fact, while the bucket of tofu, his labor of love, went flying forward.
"ORO" Kenshin yelled as he braced himself for impact. With a thud and a 'oof' he landed, flat on his back. Which had successfully knocked the air out of him.
Considering that the hill was so steep, he started to slide backwards even farther upon imapct. 'Ah! No...' he thought and stopped sliding as he reached a place on the hill that wasn't so icy.
There he lay, slightly dazed as realization dawned upon him of what had happened. And he quickly was back on his feet, walking towards the bucket of tour carefully. If he fell again, he might just slide all the way down the hill!
Reaching it, he noticed it was cracked, and knocked over. White liquid and a part of the tofu block spilling out of the bucket. Picking up the handle, which was still in tact, he started to laugh.
"Of course! Why wouldn't this happen to me?! Who else would this sort of thing happen to but me!" he said as he continued to laugh at his predicament. And not only did he not get her the tofu she requested, but also he would have to buy a new tofu bucket!
Climbing the rest of the way up the hill still chuckling, he held on to the sad tofu bucket. He composed himself as he saw the soft glow of light emitting from the dojo. Good, because his skin was starting to sting slightly, and it was getting harder for him to breathe.
Opening the gate and locking it behind him, he made his way inside. Which he was both dreading and looking forward to, dreading because Kaoru was going to probably hit him for breaking the bucket, and looking forward to because it was fucking freezing out here!
Stepping inside, he was greeted by the warm, almost searing air. It was both comforting and a shock to his system. Gasping slightly, he went to find Kaoru and explain his situation to her.
Kenshin found her with her back to him, stoking the fire with the kindling he had gathered a few days ago. He cleared his throat to let her know he was here and began speaking.
"Kaoru, I-"
"Kenshin! I'm so sorry! I went outside to get more wood and I felt how utterly freezing it really was! I wouldn't have ever made you go if I had known!" She said quickly, rushing over to him quickly, kissing his cheek fleetingly and hugging him slightly in her apology.
He was shocked. Her lithe body was so much warmer than his own. His arms half raised, hesitating to return the gesture when she pulled away. He could still feel her warmth slowly leaving him and he was sorry that he hesitated.
"I'm sorry" she blurted quickly, already blushing prettily and looking away from him. Standing a good three feet away from him, she suddenly looked back to him and said "Kenshin! You're so cold! Quickly, sit down and I'll get you a blanket.
Oh, I hope I didn't get you sick" Kaoru sped away to leave him there dazed, with his hand to his cheek, the scarred one, where she had kissed him. Remembering what she asked him to do, he quickly found a chair and sat cross-legged in front of the fire.
He had only stared into the fire moments when she returned with a blanket. Gods above, she cared way too much about him. He lingered over that thought warmly and guiltily when he felt her drape the blanket over him. It was very thick, and was greatly appreciated.
"Here you are" She said with a small smile. The she frowned. " Kenshin? Are you okay? Say something" Already she was worried.
Suddenly finding words he said "Y-yes Kaoru-dono, I'm fine, now. But on the way back I slipped and..." With a heart-warming smile, another real smile.
Releasing her breath, which she hadn't known she'd been holding she stuttered
"Did you hurt yourself? And about the tofu, I don't care, as long as you're back here okay... So are you?" With her own loving smile thrown back to him. Kaoru knew he was fine, but she just had to make sure he reassured her he was.
She was just too sweet to him, and he knew it too. So he said what he shouldn't have.
"Kaoru-dono, you shouldn't bother with this unworthy one, that you shouldn't."
Her smile faded then. Replaced with shock in her eyes, shock at his words.
"What are you saying Kenshin?! That I shouldn't be worried about you? And why wouldn't I be? I don't know if you realize this Kenshin, but I care about you, and that includes your well being! And it's my fault that you were out there in the first place anyway!" She said hotly.
'Oh Kaoru...' Kenshin thought warmly at her words.
His eyes were wide; Kaoru could see him processing what she said in his thick head.
"What did you say Kaoru?" Kenshin said bewildered, his hands clenching and unclenching nervously as she got closer to his sitting form.
" I said Kenshin" she said softer, coming close enough to touch his hand softly, " I care about you." Her heart was racing, how was he going to react to this?
Since Yahiko and Sanosuke were both gone, and probably wouldn't be returning tonight because of the weather and a combination of Sano's love of gambling and Yahiko's love for Tsubame, Kenshin did what he wanted to do. What he always wished he would do, but never had the heart, or guts.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. Clutching her tightly so her head rested on his shoulder. He closed his eyes tightly, and let the reality of what he was doing sink in.
Kaoru's eyes were wide, mouth slightly open and twisted in confusion. She slowly brought her arms around him to return his very... friendly gesture.
'Kenshin...' she thought and let her eyes go back to there normal size. Suddenly, his arms tightened the grip he had on her, and turning his head, he whispered into her ear " Thank you, Kaoru, for caring."
The way he said it made her shiver slightly, and his warm breath tickled her.
When she realized what he said, she felt the familiar prickle of tears at the corners of her eyes, for him. The fact that he thought no one cared for him was heart breaking, and probably true of his last ten years of wandering.
Putting her hands on his shoulders, she pressed her face to his skin and inhaled. He smelled like a forest and faintly of sweat and ginger. "Oh, Kenshin" She said, muffled.
He could feel her press closer to him, which made him almost insanely warm, her hot breath on his naked shoulder was intoxicating. And her scent was wonderful, if was just her; Jasmine. Perfect.
He loved her so much, as she did him. Caught up in the moment, he blurted his obvious feelings for her to hear.
"Kaoru, I love you..." His voice was a mere purr.
For a spilt second, Kaoru's heart completely stopped. Pulling away from him. She simply stared, mouth slightly agape.
Kenshin felt that something was wrong, did she not love him? Of course not, he had obviously hoped for too much and mistook her looks to him for love when it was obviously not. Now he felt sick to his stomach, and ashamed, she could not love him.
It was probably hard enough for her to accept him for who he was, let alone love him.
Standing, with his head bowed to cover his angst-ridden eyes, he muttered an apology with a grim smile. And turned to leave for his room to think about what he would have to do next. Which would most likely be to leave, it would just be too awkward to try to have a normal conversation with her after that.
'Hm, Yahiko really needs to clean the floors' he thought with a grim smile, but hiding it under the curtain of his thick hair. It was true too, the bottom of his sock covered feet would probably be black. If he could recall correctly, Kaoru had been grilling Yahiko for that earlier today, which made him run to the Akabeko in the first place.
He was about halfway down the hall when Kaoru caught up to him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she almost pulled him off his feet. She pressed her face into the back of his neck.
He stood frozen to the spot, not quite grasping what was happening to him. When he felt searing tears, her tears, on the back of his neck. And her soft "I love you too" as she clutched him desperately.
Whirling around so that he was facing her, he lowered his head so that her forehead was touching his. They locked gaze for a while, each of them searching for their answer in each other's eyes.
Kaoru found hers first, and closing the space between them, kissing him softly, almost fleetingly with her soft warm lips.
Realization dawned upon him again and he returned the gesture fully, deepening it. Licking softly at her lips, he asked for entrance, which she gladly gave as his mouth explored.
Their tongues danced as they stood in the hallway, Kaoru's arms were wrapped around his neck as his were around her waist. Crushing her form to him made her moan softly. Suddenly they broke apart, gasping for breath. Kenshin still clutched her to him and he rested his head atop hers.
'Wow' Kaoru though. 'He's a really good kisser'. She was still grabbing on to him just as desperately as he was to her.
Kenshin knew that they had to go to bed. Fighting against the urge to take her to his room and ravish her, he thought how improper that would be. Not that he really cared much, but Yahiko and Sanosuke would if they came back tomorrow and saw them together. So he broke apart from her and brushed inky silk away from her face smiling tenderly at her. She looked so cute, with her half lidded stare, full rose lips slightly parted and gasping. He had to stop now, he knew, otherwise he wouldn't be able to.
He stopped, she knew. Maybe she wasn't a good enough kisser? Not that it would be her fault if he thought that, she had been distracted by him for a long while and couldn't get any experience in the mean time.
"Goodnight Kaoru" Kenshin said gently, tenderly, as he continued to stare at her with half open, swirling amethyst eyes.
"Goodnight Kenshin" she replied and went up on her tip toes to kiss him softly on the forehead. He relished that simple kiss. Returning to her normal height she looked at him once more before turning to her room, and sliding the door shut behind her with a soundly click.
'Guess it wasn't my lack of kissing skills then' she thought to herself and laughed softly aloud as she began to undress for bed.
He was left in the middle of the hallway staring dreamily at nothing. Suddenly he snapped out of it and turned to his own room. His bed felt desperately lonely without her. But he would have to change that.
Kenshin had work to do on that subject.
