MATCH MET: CHECKMATE BITCHEZ

Disclaimer: I don't own Brooklyn Nine Nine or the characters from the show.

CHAPTER ONE:

Joey Butcher was going nowhere. He was well and truly cornered. The alleyway was blocked by LAPD squad cars behind a very large wire fence. Anyone could see that Joey Butcher was 100% regretting his cool 'jump out the first story window' move to shake off the two cops chasing him. He looked frantically around him - if only he could find something to use to either scale the fence or climb back up into someone's window. The one dumpster was chained opened and empty. Maybe if he could just - suddenly a rope whacked the ground in front of him. He spun around to face it, hands out to protect himself. The rope wobbled slightly, then a cop slid quickly down it from the LAPD chopper above. Butcher cursed loudly. Since when did the LAPD use choppers?! Butcher snapped back to realty as a young girl landed in front of him expertly, crouching down with one small hand on the ground to steady herself. In between her teeth, a knife glinted in the soft alley light. Butcher raised an eyebrow as the girl quickly bounced to her feet, knife blade now facing outwards towards him in her hand.

"Since when they send kids to catch crooks?" Butcher growled in his thick Boston accent, readying his body to throw a punch if need be. The girl pushed some messy reddish-brown hair out of her face and gave him a smirk.

"Well then Joey Butcher, I guess you could call this a kidnapping by the law, because you're under arrest."

In one quick movement the girl crouched again, then shot her right leg out and knocked Butcher's feet out from under him. He was on the ground in the dirt before he even knew what was happening. The girl dug her knee into his back as she cuffed him, then turned her walkie talkie on.

"Marshmallow, did you film all that?"

The radio buzzed. "I sure did Ca - I mean - Ghost Rider. It was pretty cool. As usual. But I still don't understand why I have to be Marshmallow? I mean, it's not the best code name-"

"Because you're soft and squishy, we've been over this. Hurry up and get this perp back to the station, I've got a date at 6 and you still need to run to the Beverly Hills Centre to get me something to wear."

"Oh of course Ghost Rider, I didn't-"

The girl's other female partner was cut short as three policemen finally broke through the fence with bolt cutters. They grabbed Butcher and pulled him up. He turned to the small female cop.

"You're dead meat girl. You're done."
Butcher spat at the girl's feet.

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I wouldn't be in crushing debt so jokes on you," She replied, smiling widely and putting her hands on her hips.

Two males cops dragged Butcher into one of the squad cars. The female cop watched them go through the chainlink fence, then carefully climbed through the hole the other officers had cut. Her partner joined her, mouth full of hotdog.

"You are so cool Cat. Like my mum loves you more than she loves me."

"I know, she rang me this morning," the first cop said, sliding on her black aviators. Her smaller, more plump partner coughed loudly on some hotdog. The first female rolled her eyes as her radio crackled to life. Her captains voice burst into her ear.

"Caine, I need you back here asap," he said. "We have a lot to discuss. Firstly, good work on the case. The chopper paid off, I'm glad. We'll discuss the rest when you're here. Hurry back."

The first female sighed. "Capitan needs to talk to me. If he's cleaned out my locker again, that's on him. Dunno why I keep getting in trouble for that."

"Well the gummy bear thing was kind of gross Cat, you have to admit."

"Okay Sam, I dunno what your problem with gummy bears is but it stops. Now."

"Cat! I've told you a hundred times! They aren't a real food source!"

"You're not a real food source," the first cop muttered under her breath as she climbed into the passenger seat of their squad car. The second female climbed in after her and started the car.

"Still a good day," the first female said. "What could possibly go wrong from here?"

As it turns out, a lot could go wrong. And it did.
Cat awkwardly took her vest off and hung it over her desk chair, unzipped her hoodie and started to take it off.
"Uh, Cat...you might want to put that back on before talking to the dentist. There's like, what? Soup down the front of it."
Cat frowned at her partner. "Sam. Why would it be soup? Who even eats soup if you aren't ninety and have teeth? Come on man. Obviously it's pizza."
"You should let me teach you how to cook. It'll be fun! And so much more healthy for you. At least then you'll be getting some of the items from the food pyramid into your system. That isn't covered in grease and cheese." Sam shrugged her arms and flopped down at her desk across from Cat's.
"First of all: a slice of pizza is a triangle shape, therefore is a food pyramid, and second of all: I don't need to learn anything because I live in a time when YouTube is around."
Sam threw Cat a disgusted look but kept her mouth shut. She watched her friend disappear into the captain's office, closing the door quietly behind her.

"Detective, well done on the Butcher case. The commissioner was breathing down my neck in regards to the helicopter but it paid off just as you said it would."
The captain leant back in his chair, putting his fingers together in front of his face. Cat waited. Whenever the fact bald man did that, it meant trouble - usually for Cat.
"Is this about my complaint? About not getting my own star outside?"
The captain frowned. "How many times do I have to tell you no?"
Cat sighed. The 'Hollywood walk of fame' style driveway outside the LAPD was lame because Cat Caine's name wasn't on it.
"Whilst you were out, we got a phone call from another police unit. Ted Butcher, Joey's brother, broke into your apartment in an attempt to plant explosives."
"Would the insurance-"
"Caine, you'll die first."
"Ah. I see."
"The unit chased him on foot but he escaped. Apparently Joey contacted him at some point before you arrested him and Ted somehow has already found out who arrested him. So he's after you now. The team is pulling footage from near by CCTV. I'm assuming the brother would have had to be near by."
"So we go after Ted now?"
The captain rested his elbows on the desk and rubbed his eyes.
"Well actually, I'm taking you off the case."
"What?! That's frog shit sir, you know it."
"Caine! Your life is in danger! A detective from the 99th precinct is on annual leave for six months - you'll be replacing their position until such time as it is safe for you to do so. I have flights booked. You are to leave right away. I will have Sam bring your stuff down over the next few days."
"Okayokayokayokayokay. Where is this 99th precinct then?"
"Brooklyn. New York."
Cat threw her head back. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooo"