Kennedy in Sallad
Jeero's Tale

The time was 1:15 PM in Uglytown, one hour ahead of Sallad. On the second level of Price Hike, there was a Kennedy; Jeero Kennedy, to be exact. Jeero was always in the fourth aisle on the second floor of Price Hike. You see, that's where they keep the Super Deluxe Relax Chairs. Jeero always dreamed of owning this chair, and with all the money he had, he could. But the thing was, right when he was about to buy one, the company would always come out with a newer, cooler model. Wage told him about the free tryouts the store had on the massage chairs and TVs, and ever since then, Jeero would be there.
Most Uglys wonder why Jeero's so lazy, even his brother John speculates, but so far he's only pinpointed one thing he knows contributed. You see, one day, John was explaining how he needed rest because of his back pain, and for a couple months afterwards, Jeero would always pretend he had his own back issues so other Uglys would baby him.
"I need to sleep an extra twelve hours because of my back problem" he would always say…
Anyway, the day was November 22nd and the time was 1:15. Jeero trotted on over to "his" lounge (a big screen television, a fridge, and three Super Deluxe Relax Chairs) and dived into chair number two, turning on the massage function. With a quick movement, he pulled out a bag of Doritos from under the cushion and ripped it open.
"Munch, crunch, vibrate, munch, crunch, vibrate" Jeero recited his routine aloud as he thought to himself how nice his life was He never understood why everyone else in his family were big shots.
"Why do all the work when you can just sit back and relax" he often thought.
Today, he knew his brother John was in Sallad, preparing for the next Ugly elections, doing "presidential rubbish", as Jeero liked to call it. Jeero then lifted up the rug and found the remote to the TV. Click! Today was a Friday, but nothing important was on at the moment. He scrolled through the channels. Glancing up at the time, Jeero noticed it was already 1:30. At two, his favorite show would be on.
"I might have time for a short nap, yippee!" he sung.
An Ugly named Winkolina who was in the aisle next to his, was annoyed. "Shush!" she yelled. "I'm trying to concentrate on my shopping list!"
Jeero didn't respond, as he was slowly dowsing off. A little bit later he clicked the remote one last time. It was then on the news channel.
"Boring! There would be nothing on the news today!" Kennedy muttered. He closed his eyes again, quickly filtering out any noise coming from the television.
"BREAKING NEWS UPDATE! PRESIDENT JOHN F. KEN…" Jeero was already fast asleep.