Title: The Way of the Warrior
Author: fembuck
Fandom: Spartacus: War of the Damned
Pairings: Saxa/Belesa, mentions of Gannicus/Sibyl and previous Gannicus/Saxa
Characters: Saxa, Belesa, Gannicus
Rating: R
Words: 3,647
Summary: Missing scenes from episode 3.10 "Victory". Saxa and Belesa's interactions together on the night before the final battle against Crassus and the talk between Saxa and Gannicus where he asks her to fight at his side.
xxx
Belesa was uncommonly quiet as they lay together, damp skin sticking to damp skin, their legs tangled together. They had shared a meal and songs earlier around one of the fires that burned throughout the rebel camp, but as the hour grew later, Belesa turned in the circle of Saxa's arms, pressed her lips to Saxa's throat and whispered of being alone together, so they moved from around the fire to their tent, and there fell to each other's arms in loving embrace.
"Speak bärli," little bear,Saxa whispered as she leaned forward to press her lips against Belesa's soft cheek, tenderly kissing away the tear that had just fallen from Belesa's eye. "I miss sound of voice," she murmured, her voice soft with longing.
"Words pile on tip of tongue, but they are not ones you would wish me to put voice to," Belesa breathed out, her eyes closing and squeezing shut for a moment, freeing more tears from them and in the process before she forced herself to open them again, and meet Saxa's beseeching gaze.
"I would always hear words. I would fight to last breath so you can forever speak them free," Saxa replied, lifting her hand from where it rested on Belesa's hip so that she could gently wipe away the damp trails that painted Belesa's face.
"I don't want you to fight until your last breath," Belesa replied, her voice rising in pitch and volume as the tears she had been trying to hold back started to fall in earnest, stinging her eyes and blurring her vision as they rained upon Saxa's hand which remained tenderly cupping her face. "I would have you breathe tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. I would have you live, with me. Come north," Belesa begged, staring at Saxa desperately. "Please, come north. The journey will be perilous. There will yet be opportunity to stain daggers with blood. You can fight, and stay with me."
Saxa was silent for a few moments in the wake of Belesa's words, emotions warring within her as fiercely as any fighting she had done against the Romans.
In Belesa's arms she had found peace and love the likes of which she had never known before. None before had ever looked at her as Belesa did, as if the sun rose and set with her, as if she was the reason the stars shone at night. And as Belesa looked at her as something special and precious, Saxa viewed Belesa in equally reverent light.
The sight of Belesa made Saxa's lips curve up in joyous smile. The sound of Belesa's voice made her heart sing. The press of Belesa's lips on her body was a balm for her soul, reminding her that beauty and goodness and kindness yet existed in the world, and could thrive, even in the Romans world of piss and shit.
When Saxa had Belesa wrapped in her arms, as they lay together naked on furs, or sat on the earth around campfires, Belesa's body solid and warm and hers, Saxa understood contentment. In moments like those she understood happiness, and could imagine a life where she did not have daggers constantly gripped in her hands.
Belesa's words tempted her, calling to her as Lorelei singing from the banks of the Rhine. Her heart longed to obey Belesa's loving request, yet with greater passion her heart rebelled against it.
She did not want to be parted from Belesa. She did not want to die. But she could not turn from the cause she had been fighting for years. She could not turn from her brothers and sisters who had risked their lives to free her from shackles, who had given dignity, pride and purpose back to a life that had been shattered when she had been captured and chained and put to sea for Latium.
"I do not want leave you," Saxa began, blinking against the tears that were building in her own eyes as the reality of the situation they were in settled upon her heart, heavy as marble. "But I must fight. Numbers go against us," Saxa said, closing her eyes briefly. "If any will live, all who can, must fight, must hold back Roman wave to allow escape to north for all the rest. I fight to keep you safe, alive, to give future of happiness lived free. I believe in this. I must fight for this. I would not be woman worthy of your love if I not do this, I would not be woman who could stand to live day after day with self if I not do this," Saxa breathed out as brushed her thumb over Belesa's cheek. "You understood?"
"I do," Belesa whispered, closing her eyes as she leaned into the warmth of Saxa's hand. "I knew this to be how you stand. I knew this to be who you stand. My brave warrior," Belesa said softly, her lips curving up into a tender smile, even as more tears fell from her eyes. "My love," Belesa continued, leaning forward to press her lips to Saxa's.
The tears that had been building in Saxa's eyes escaped then, and with only Belesa there to see her, she let them fall freely as she returned Belesa's kiss, clutching tightly, desperately at Belesa's body. In that moment she needed to be as close to Belesa as physically possible. She needed to feel Belesa against the length of her body, solid and warm. She needed to know that this woman, and this happiness, and this love was real, even if it was to be taken away from her come the morning.
"A-apologies," a male voice, Gannicus's voice, interrupted from the front of the tent. "I did not mean to intrude upon tender moment, but I must have words."
"Now?" Saxa asked, sounding dazed, her mind sluggish, still focused on the taste of Belesa's mouth and the press of Belesa's breasts against her own.
"Apologies, but yes," Gannicus said with his face turned to the side, offering the women what little privacy he could while addressing Saxa. "I will wait for you to dress," he continued, and then drew back, pulling the flaps of the tent shut again.
He took a few steps away from the tent, then clasped his hands behind his back and proceeded to wait for Saxa to join him.
"Another night raid?" Belesa asked from within the tent as Saxa shifted away from her body to begin dressing.
"I think no," Saxa replied, glancing at the closed flaps of the tent curiously. "He is not dressed for combat. No tie, hair flows freely like woman," she continued, turning back to Belesa with a smile, hoping her words would draw one to match from her lover.
"Is that why you favoured him so much?" Belesa asked, her question bringing warmth to Saxa's heart as Belesa's lips curved up teasingly.
"You discover secret weakness," Saxa replied grinning as she dropped back down to the ground half-dressed and crawled over to Belesa to kiss her. "But know favour shifted to new arms, that I soon return to," Saxa continued, pulling back so that Belesa could see her eyes as she spoke, and then leaning in a few seconds later so that she could press another kiss to Belesa's lips.
"Gratitude," Belesa breathed out, her eyes still closed from savouring Saxa's kiss, knowing that Saxa had given voice to those last words to soothe any uncertainty that may have yet lingered in Belesa's heart. "Now dress," Belesa continued as her eyes fluttered open, the corners of her lips curving up the slightest bit as she gazed upon Saxa. "The sooner you break words with Gannicus, the sooner I will be in your arms again."
"I fall to command," Saxa replied stiffly, nodding her head curtly as a soldier to his commander, which made Belesa's upturned lips turn into a full smile as a peal of laughter escaped from her lips. "And then to your arms again," Saxa continued, brushing her thumb tenderly across Belesa's cheek before she obeyed Belesa's command and began to tug on the rest of her clothes.
xxx
"Wine?" Gannicus offered, holding out a jug to Saxa when she joined him on the sands beyond her tent.
Saxa shook her head and Gannicus smiled and then laughed in understanding.
"I too have turned from it of late," he breathed out as they began to walk.
"Little Thing no like drunken ways?" Saxa asked as Gannicus passed the jug he had been holding over to a group of singing men who were crowded around one of the campfires that still burned at that late hour.
"She made no comment," Gannicus replied, "I have simply gained appreciation for benefits of having mind clear instead of muffled in haze of drink."
"Makes for better to experience life and remember what and who we fight for," Saxa agreed as they neared the edge of the encampment.
"I did not see before," Gannicus began, a small smile playing on his lips as they continued to walk, "but there is poetry in your soul along with vulgar German curses," he continued, and Saxa turned her head and glared at him before sticking out her tongue, which made Gannicus laugh.
"The girl has been good for you," he commented a moment later, his voice softer and serious as their eyes met again.
"Yes," Saxa agreed, breathing in deeply as her heart filled with emotion at the thought of Belesa. "As Little Thing has for you," she continued, smirking as she met Gannicus's eyes again. "Little but powerful, she has made barbarian to proper gentleman," Saxa went on, knocking Gannicus in the arm playfully. "Now keeps pants on, wakes before noon, sings no more of cock and combs hair every day."
"She knows five words of Latin yet manages to continually compose insult," Gannicus muttered, rolling his eyes, even as his lips curved up into a smile. "You are a remarkable woman, Saxa."
"Fact known to be true," Saxa agreed easily, making Gannicus laugh, "but great appreciated coming from mouth of god of arena," she continued seriously. "Great appreciated coming from friend."
"It warms heart to hear honored title fall from your lips," Gannicus replied, his tone serious again though a hint of a smile lingered on his lips. "I have never addressed many as such, but know that sentiment is returned in full."
As the last word fell from his lips, Gannicus stopped walking and turned so that he was facing Saxa directly.
"It is …" he began gravely, holding her eyes, "an honor to have known you."
"And for I to know you," Saxa replied in an equally sober and respectful tone.
"I think this as good a spot as any," Gannicus said looking around sparse, rocky landscape around them. "I have something to ask of you," he continued, before settling himself onto a nearby rock for their discussion.
Saxa followed his lead and perched herself on the rock beside him. "Ask and see done," she replied.
"Spartacus would have me lead, and after years of obstinance, and death of honored brother, I now take his words to heart," Gannicus began as his eyes restlessly scanned the rocky, barren terrain around them. "I am to lead a secondary charge and attack the Romans from behind, as at Vesuvius, bringing death on two fronts. I need a second, one who could be counted upon to complete undertaking should I fall. I would have that be you. If you are of a mind," Gannicus finished, finally turning to lay eyes on Saxa's face again.
"I am of mind. I will stand beside you to bathe in Roman blood at least one more time," Saxa replied immediately, her voice strong and sure. "Help keep Pretty Man, pretty," Saxa added a moment later, and Gannicus couldn't help but laugh.
"I am a princess, am I not?" Gannicus said a moment later, grinning as he flipped his hair coquettishly. "With legs to rival Venus herself," he continued, extending his leg and pointing his toes forward delicately.
"I am in envy of shapely thighs," Saxa sighed sadly before grinning. "Though Agron has best."
"You wound me," Gannicus replied placing his hand over his heart. "But I cannot argue with words," he continued, smiling as he shrugged.
They were silent for a few minutes after that, enjoying the cool night breeze and the quiet that could only be found away from encampment, even at night.
"It feels different to other times," Saxa breathed out, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.
"It does," Gannicus agreed softly.
"It is love," Saxa decided, tilting her head back to gaze at the infinite expanse of stars above them. "We have dreams now. We want more than blood and drink and sex and dead Romans upon the ground. I have imagined of late to become … smith?" Saxa asked as she turned to look at Gannicus, in order to gage if she had used the right word, continuing only when he nodded in understanding. "I imagine to hunt again in great eastern forests, bringing pheasant and rabbit and wild pig and deer home to hungry woman. To sleep with her in proper bed, soft and warm, not furs on hard earth as all I can give now. I desire to provide for her proper home. Romans chained Belesa from time was born. I would show her what is to live free. I dream of these things now."
"Did you ever think to want these things before?" Gannicus asked.
"No," Saxa replied shaking her head ruefully, a little smile at the corners of her lips. "Saw others put sword away to pick up sickles and flails, and felt sorry for inglorious end to great warriors. Now I understand, if fighting is all to life, it is not really life. Now I know, but dream and life may soon be taken in battle."
Gannicus breathed in and out deeply before responding to her, his feelings momentarily overwhelming him as her words and the feelings behind them settled upon him.
"We are of same mind and heart in these matters," Gannicus finally breathed out. "I would see that harm never come to Sibyl again. I would see her life free of struggle and danger, offering the protection life has never given her. I would see beautiful flower blossom and flourish for years to come, until old age claims life in peaceful slumber.
"The gods do not favour us with numbers, but they favour us with hearts that burn with righteous fury. They provide us with all the motivation on earth and the heavens to fight to our last breath. Our dreams may not become our futures," Gannicus continued, turning to meet Saxa's eyes again. "But we will see our women free, so they have opportunity to see the dreams that live in their hearts become glorious reality upon a day. They favour us with ability to keep those we love free, even if we do not live to enjoy that future with them. "
"A cause more than worthy to die for," Saxa breathed out, her voice soft but rich with passion, and Gannicus grinned and nodded, agreeing with her completely, and then he once again returned his eyes to the night sky.
"We should return to their arms, while we still have life in ours to hold them," Gannicus murmured a few moments later before rising to his feet, Saxa following suit a second later. "Sister," he stated, holding out his arm to her once they were both on their feet.
Saxa was still and silent for a moment, surprised by the gesture.
"You offer …"
"I do," Gannicus interjected, knowing the construction her question would take.
It was true that Saxa was not of the arena. She bore no mark on her forearm, but she had lived in chains, caged and beaten. She had trained day after day in blazing sun and pouring rain. Oenomaus had laid hand on her shoulder and given instruction to her in the arts of combat. Their relationship had been forged in blood upon sand, as his bond with Oenomaus, Crixus and the others of the brotherhood had been. Saxa was as deserving of this honor as any who had fought for the house of Batiatus, and he would pay it to her.
"You honor," Saxa breathed out, reaching out to grasp Gannicus's forearm tightly as he grasped hers in return, gladiator style. "Brother."
xxx
When Saxa entered her tent again after parting ways with Gannicus, she found Belesa lying on her side, wrapped up in blanket, seemingly asleep. However, as she moved further into the tent to begin undressing, Belesa lifted her and shifted to face her, and when their eyes met Saxa could see that Belesa's were clear and alert.
She had waited up for Saxa's return.
"You look cozy," Saxa commented as she began to strip off the clothes she had hastily pulled on an hour before.
Belesa shrugged her shoulders lightly beneath the blanket as she watched Saxa undress, and then murmured, "I am. But I will be cozier when you join me again in bed."
A large, playful smile touched her lips when she finished speaking, and then she unwrapped the edge of the blanket from her shoulders and opened it up, revealing herself in all of her nude glory to Saxa's appreciative eyes.
"A sight welcome to eyes," Saxa's purred, her eyes scanning the length of Belesa's body in appreciation as she roughly pulled off the last of her clothes. "And to touch," she whispered as she joined Belesa's on the furs that served as their bed, then dipped her head to place a kiss on Belesa's hip, and then her stomach, and on each of her breasts, before using her hands to push Belesa's breasts together so that she could nuzzle her face between the generous mounds.
"So it was not arms you longed to return to, but the soft embrace of bosom," Belesa teased, when Saxa sighed contently, laugher spilling from her lips a few seconds later when Saxa moved her face from side to side, burrowing further into the delicious flesh before her.
"All of the woman calls to me," Saxa breathed out some moments later, finally lifting her head from the pillowy heaven where it had been resting. "I seek only to be close to heart," she continued, her eyes glinting playfully as she gazed up at Belesa, bringing a smile to the brunette's lips.
"This is all I seek as well," Belesa replied a few seconds later, her voice and look turning serious as words fell from her lips.
The change in Belesa's tone caught Saxa's attention, and she shifted on the furs, arranging herself so that they were lying side by side.
"Look and tone give uncertain feeling," Saxa began, watching Belesa keenly, uncertain what to make of the serious turn her lover's mood had taken after such a playful greeting. "Make words so understanding may take place of worry."
"Sibyl, and Laeta, and Andora and the baby, among others plan to conceal selves at foot of mountain path and there await return of brave warriors from battle. I would join them in this, and greet you after combat. I would stay close to heart," Belesa breathed out, her eyes somewhat anxious though her words sure and clear, no doubt a result of having been practiced during the time Saxa was absent from the tent.
"Foot of mountain remain close to field of battle," Saxa began carefully. "It is safer for you to go north up mountain path, far from Romans, far from danger."
"Far from you," Belesa pointed out the moment words stopped falling from Saxa's lips. "I would not have this. I will not. I am to wait for you at foot of mountain. You will accept this as fact," Belesa continued, her eyes narrowing in anticipation of challenge from Saxa. "You fight for me. I would take care of you as I can. I would see you to loving arms from field of battle. I would tend to wounds, and give shoulder to lean on. I would be by your side as soon as is possible."
"I will not fight you in this. I wish to find myself to you, to heart, as soon as can be as well," Saxa replied softly, her voice choked with emotion as she gazed upon Belesa's divine face. "I am lucky to have found woman such as you," she breathed out, thinking of a time when none would have mourned her passing but for a moment. "My heart has never known fullness like it knows with you. I love and always will love meine bärli, my Belesa," she whispered, her voice cracking before she closed what little distance there was between them and drew Belesa in deep kiss.
"Make love to me, one last time before we must part at break of dawn," Belesa whispered breathlessly against Saxa's lips when their kiss broke.
She had spoken earlier of Saxa's return from battle as if it was inevitable, but she knew that it was an uncertain thing. The hours they had left before the sun touched the sky might be the last they ever shared together, and she wanted to face that unsure future with the taste of Saxa upon her lips and the memory of Saxa inside of her.
She wanted to fill herself with Saxa one last time, before they had to say goodbye.
"Always," Saxa breathed out, leaning in to capture Belesa's lips again. "I will never have fill of you," she murmured into Belesa's mouth before her hands began to trail up naked flesh, more than happy to fall to command and love her woman, while she still could.
The End
