Disclaimer: I own neither show.
So this is an idea I've thrown around in my brain for a little while: wingmen. And who might these two wingmen be? That's right...DEREK MORGAN AND BARNEY STINSON. That's correct. They shall be wingmen for this little oneshot. I hope you enjoy!
"Get me an Oberon," Derek Morgan grumbled to the bartender at MacLaren's Bar in New York City. The team had just finished a case in the Big Apple and he was unwinding the night before he had to be on the jet home. He was pissed off at his best friend at the moment. Penelope was being ridiculous, telling him how she planned on going on another date with Sam. Pfft. Sam. And she had the nerve to talk to Derek about it. On a case she had come with them on.
When he got his beer, he stared into the amber liquid and grumbled to himself. He was sick of being in love with a woman who very clearly didn't want him. He was tired of her telling him all about her excursions with her boyfriends. He was...done.
"Well, hello stranger," a seductive voice said.
He looked behind him and saw a busty blonde woman staring at him with very clear bedroom eyes. Raising an eyebrow, he said, "Can I help you?"
"I don't know," she purred. "Can you?"
He looked her up and down a few times, making it appear as though he would take her up on the offer she was making with her eyes. A small smile played up on her lips and he took a sip of his beer.
"So, my place or yours, hot stuff?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No," he said, returning to face the bar. Hearing the name that Penelope usually called him irked him. Not only that, it disgusted him. He couldn't handle it.
"Excuse me?" she snapped. "What did you just say to me?"
He snickered. "I said no to you," he muttered. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to finish drinking my beer."
"Asshole," the woman muttered, stomping off.
Derek sat in silence for a moment and stared at his glass, his mind going back to Penelope. He was still fuming. He could care less if there was a woman coming up and hitting on him. The only thing he wanted was Penelope.
"I cannot believe a handsome man like yourself just turned down a chick like that!"
Derek rolled his eyes and looked up to see a handsome blonde man looking over at him. "Yeah...well...she's not my type."
"You need a type?" he laughed. "Bro, you've got nothing to worry about. You can have any girl you want."
"Not any," he argued.
The blonde man sat down next to him and stuck out his hand. "Barney. Barney Stinson." He patted Derek on the back. "Now, tell me all about this girl who you apparently think you can't get." Derek gave him a look and he added, "Come on now. Tell Uncle Barney all about her."
"She just - she -" He stopped short. "Why the hell am I even talking to you about this? You don't even know my name."
"Well then, what's your name?" Barney asked.
Derek stared at him apprehensively. "Derek. Derek Morgan."
Barney grinned and raised his glass in an unofficial toast. "Alright, now that all of that is out of the way, I would recommend you tell me about what is going on. I am here to listen."
"There's not much to tell. I'm in love with a woman who isn't in love with me. She never will be in love with me," Derek said bluntly. He sipped his drink. "You're a good looking guy. Do you have a girl?" Barney's face fell for a moment and he pointed at him and smirked. "Ah, that look. You do have a girl." He took another sip of his drink. "What's her name?"
"Well, that's not fair," Barney protested. "You didn't tell me your girl's name. I'll only tell you mine if you tell me yours."
"Fair enough," Derek said. "My girl's name is Penelope." He paused. "Only...se's not actually my girl. She's dating a guy named Sam right now."
Barney nodded. "Mine's name is Robin." He looked over Derek's shoulder, his eyes finding someone. Derek looked over his own shoulder and found the woman who was very clearly the woman Barney was talking about. She was a slender, brunette woman. Her eyes were bright and her head was thrown back in laughter. She was sitting with a group of people, another woman and two men.
He turned back to face Barney. "She's lovely," he said honestly. "She's your girlfriend?" Barney shook his head. "Well, is it an issue of being in love with you? Does she love you?"
"I...I don't know," he said. Robin didn't tell many men in her relationships that she loved them. At points he got vibes from her that she might love him. But then there were points that he couldn't get a read on her.
The two men sat in silence for a few minutes before Derek said, "We should tell them how we feel."
"What? No! We can't do that!" Barney protested.
He shrugged. "Well, maybe you're right. But what could telling them possibly do though?"
"Um, hurt our pride, turn us into girls," Barney said in a "well, duh!" voice.
"We could tell them," Derek said again quietly.
"Or...we could not tell them."
"You've been with her though, haven't you?" Derek asked.
Barney smiled. "Have you seen me?" he asked, gesturing at his fine suit. "Look at this suit." He snorted. "Don't tell me you've never slept with Penelope. A face like yours, you could have sex with any girl you meet."
It was Derek's turn to snort. "Remember what I said? I can't have any girl. So no...I haven't had sex with Penelope. She isn't like that either. She wouldn't just have random sex with me. She wouldn't have random sex with anyone. She's too innocent." He smiled fondly to himself and took another sip of his beer. "And that's why I love her. She's beautiful in every single way."
"Robin's not quite like that," Barney said, his eyes flicking in her direction. "But that last thing you said...about her being beautiful in every way...she's like that."
Somehow Derek thought this was Barney Stinson opening up. And why he was doing it to a complete stranger, he had no idea. He was about to open his mouth and say more when his phone rang with a text. He glanced down at it and read the words.
HS -
I need to talk to you...
BG
He looked back up and finished off his beer. He was contemplating what to do. Did he talk to Penelope? He was still pissed from their fight earlier. He could easily just ignore her. Easily.
"You gonna check that?" Barney asked curiously.
Derek sighed and looked down at the phone again when it rang with another text.
Please Derek...it's important. Where are you? I'm at your room and you're not here.
His head snapped back up and he looked at Barney. "You know what, Stinson," he said. "I've got something I have to do. It's been...interesting talking to you. But I think you should tell Robin how you feel. That's what I'm doing now and I think you should too." He rose from his seat and clapped Barney roughly on the back. "Thanks for the talk, man."
Barney was somewhat confused, but then he smiled. "Hey, no problem," he said. "From one wingman to another."
Derek nodded and disappeared out the bar door, leaving Barney alone at the bar. Barney watched as he walked out the door and then laughed to himself. "Hey Barney, who was that?" Robin came up next to him and smiled. "You two seemed buddy buddy."
Looking next to him, he smiled at Robin and said, "Just a fellow man."
XXXXX
1 Year Later
"Baby Girl, are you sure you're feeling okay?" Derek asked his very pregnant fiancee. The two of them were in New York on a vacation and were in a lovely restaurant. After his night a year ago after the case, he'd gone back to the hotel and told Penelope exactly how he felt about her, launching them into a whirlwind relationship that led to her getting pregnant four months later.
Penelope smiled softly and gave him a soft peck on the lips. "I feel fine, Handsome," she said. "I can't wait to have this baby though. I would love to have some wine at some point."
"Only a month left, sweetheart," he murmured, holding her hand across the table.
Across the restaurant at the front door, Barney held the door open for Robin. After his conversation with Derek Morgan - his spiritual wingman, as he had dubbed him - he had decided to make his move and tell Robin how he felt. And things had gone well for them. They were still dating and had been. It was wonderful. Yeah, there were problems. But they were happy.
"Thanks Barney," she said, pecking him on the cheek. "Such a gentleman." She smirked slightly.
As they were sitting down to their table, Barney's eyes caught sight of an oddly familiar, handsome face. It was the face that had told him to suck it up and tell Robin exactly how he felt. It was Derek Morgan. And sitting across his table from him was a very pregnant blonde woman who he assumed was the woman he'd mentioned the year before. The both of them looked just as happy as Robin and Barney felt. Derek Morgan looked up and his eyes met Barney's as he was pulling out Robin's seat for her. Smiling slightly, he nodded towards him. He owed him a lot of thanks.
Penelope turned around to see who Derek was looking at. She looked back at him and cocked an eyebrow. "Who's that, Hot Stuff?" she asked curiously, noticing the recognition he was displaying. "You know him?"
Derek looked back at her and grinned brightly. "Just a fellow man," he said, rubbing his ankle against hers.
So i don't have how the two couples actually got together, but the story is meant to focus on the conversation between Morgan and Barney, so that's why those scenes aren't in there.
