AN: This is a messed-up story full of bizarreness aplenty. Expect to lose your head while attempting to read this.
I am not Dan Brown, so I have no problem saying, any and all errors made are my own.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1
Click. "Hello," said Rayn, in a surprisingly placid voice considering she had Jak, Daxter, and Keira at gunpoint. "So nice to see you again, Keira. Daxter. And Jak. How I've missed you. Saving the world again, are we?"
"Unless you're attempting to blast this cave to kingdom come, then no," said Jak.
Rayn smiled. "It's not the cave I intend to blast," she said. "Although I do run the risk of that happening, but it's a risk I'll have to take. Trust me, you'll be thanking me later."
Seething, Daxter leaped out at Rayn with his claws unsheathed, but Jak pulled him back by the tail just in time for him to narrowly miss getting hit with a bright blue bolt of eco. "Don't do it, Dax," he said.
"AAAAGGGGHHHH!" yelled Daxter. "Do you have any idea how sensitive that particular organ is? Do ya? Do ya? DO YA?!"
"You could've killed yourself there," Jak pointed out.
Rayn gestured at the spot where her blue eco bullet had impacted. "Turn around, kids," she ordered. "I think you know what to do next."
The trio complied, and waited for Rayn to fire. When she did, something entirely unexpected happened. As soon as Jak heard Rayn's gunshot, the cave vanished, to be replaced with a flat field of asphalt, surrounded on two sides by heavily graffitied walls, and with a large number of chattering youths seated at tables on a two-level courtyard nearby. Next to the walls were vehicles of a type Jak had never seen before, with wheels like the dune-buggy-like things he had driven in the Wasteland, or perhaps the racers from Kras City. Except these looked like ordinary autos. Perhaps they all had secret superspeed capabilities or something.
Daxter and Keira appeared next to Jak mere moments later. "Where are we?" asked Keira. "Is this some city we've never mapped before?"
"I dunno," said Jak. "Things look really...different. No Precursor alphabet on the signs. No zoomers. No green sun." He sniffed slightly, then clenched his fist in an attempt to summon his eco powers. "Damn. The eco's really weak."
"Let's go ask someone what's what," said Daxter, skittering across the courtyard toward the tables. He jumped onto one of them and asked the teenage girl sitting there, "Hey baby, whatcha up to?"
The girl screamed and ran away. "What?!" yelled Daxter. "You never heard of the amazing Orange Lightning before?" He crossed over to another table and repeated the attempt to gather information, but again, this led to teenage girls running away in terror. "Do they not have ottsels here?" Daxter griped. "That would suck beyond sucking."
Jak scooped Daxter up and put him on his shoulder. "Let me do the talking," he said. He made his way over to a table at which a redheaded girl, two girls with black hair (one very pale and pissy-looking, the other being tan with high cheekbones that Jak's eyes lingered on for more than a couple of seconds) and a tall skinny boy with an extremely ugly dummy in hand.
"Hey," he said. "Any of you know where we are?"
The redheaded girl giggled. "Oh, you're such a card! Of course you know where you are, silly! Didn't Keira tell you?"
"How did you-" But Keira was cut off by a big hug from the redheaded girl, who whispered, "My name is Cat Valentine and you're my big sister now. Just play along with me." Turning to the others, she giggled again. "Guys, this is my big sister Keira. You've probably never heard of her."
"Of course we haven't," said the boy, who manipulated his dummy's mouth so it appeared to say what he said in a mock-deep voice that reminded Jak strongly of Sig, "How could we if you've never even mentioned her?"
Cat held up everyone's hands as she introduced them all in turn, starting with the pale girl. "This is Jade, Tori, and Robbie." When Robbie cleared his throat, Cat hastily added, "Oh, and Rex." Stage-whispering to Keira, she said, "Don't talk to him. He's mean."
Keira, still somewhat confuzzled, said slowly, "Well, as Cat just said, I'm Keira, and this is my boyfriend Jak and his ottsel D-"
"Daxter," he said, interrupting Keira. "I can speak for myself, you know."
Robbie stared at Daxter. "Whoa. How'd you do that?"
"Do what?" asked Jak.
"The ventriloquist act!" Robbie looked awed. "I mean, you don't have any handhold or anything on your dummy, and your mouth doesn't move at all...you must be a master!"
Jak stared. "What's a ventriloquist?"
"And I'm no dummy!" yelled Daxter. "Can't speak for your stupid puppet, though."
Robbie stood Rex up on the table so he could say, "Better watch yourself, boy. Don't be throwin' the P-word around lightly in these parts."
"Calm down, Rex," said Robbie. Daxter turned to Jak and spun his finger next to his head in the universal "cuckoo" gesture.
"Come on, I gotta show you guys around!" squealed Cat. "I've been waiting to show you the place for days! Come on!" She took Keira's hand and led her into a nearby building.
"Uh, nice to meet you guys," Jak said. "Sorry, gotta go!" He ran after Keira and Cat, barely taking notice of the only response he got back, a "You too!" from Tori.
