Hey it's Me! So this is my first Naruto Fanfic...on here at least...I've written many a dozen in my head. This one however i was told to write and then post.

I hope you all like it!

The sun rose high over the town as it got closer and closer to noon. In a small apartment no one would even know it was daylight the way the curtains were drawn. in one area though a small stream of light managed to escape. Just as the sun hit the unfortunately perfect place, sunlight came in strong, right into the face of the sleeping hung-over Naruto Uzamaki. The blonde twitched and groaned burying his face into the pillow. He wasn't ready for morning yet, and he most certainly didn't want it to be a beautiful bright day. Curse the sun and its never outing inner bulb.

Naruto reached up blindly and attempted to close the curtains. Groping around trying to find the rough fabric of the drapes he came across a curious object in his bed next to him. Another body directly parallel to hid own. Alarmed the blonde rose his head to see who was next to him. What had he done and with who? A million thoughts pertaining to one night stands and being an accessory to murder crossed his mind.

Squinting into the dimness of his room he saw what was indeed another body in his bed, with sheets doing an oddly good job of censoring who the bedroom intruder was. Reaching over Naruto peeled back the sheet to see a tuft of brown hair. Eyes wide he removed the sheets further to reveal the face and upper body of kiba. Naruto jumped back and fell off the bed in a short gasp. This ended up waking the slumbering brunette. The startled Kiba took a look at Naruto eyes wide. In near perfect unison both boys started screaming.

"OH MY- FUCK "

"SHIT SHIT SH-"

"NARUTO! WH-"

"KIBA HOW-"

"WHERE AM-"

"YOUR-"

"I'M-"

"CLOTHES!"

"BED, YOURS?"

"What happened last night?" they said at the same time. Kiba opened the curtains a little more despite his pounding headache. He squinted and looked Naruto up and down.

"Naruto, where the hell are your pants?" Naruto's eyes widened to an impossible size as he looked down and saw that he was exposed. He grabbed the sheet off the bed uncovering kiba. Naruto started to laugh at what he saw. A naked Kiba was sitting on his bed looking quite stunned and shocked at the fact that he, as well, was not wearing clothing of any sort. Kiba looked as if he were about to faint.

"Naruto….did we…."

"Did we….what, Kiba?" Naruto said in between laughs.

"Naruto, we were in a bed…. NAKED… in a bed NAKED… together..…NAKED."

Naruto sat up straight, and stared at Kiba, realization setting in. He always slept naked so waking up as such was not unusual….however waking with another man naked…

"I really hope not…." he said trying to keep the panic from his voice.

"Well…let's try to remember what happened last night." Kiba closed his eyes wrinkling his nose. Naruto also tried to remember. The harder he tried the more it made his head hurt. He rubbed his temples in frustration. He hated headaches…they were evil!

" I have no idea, Kiba…." he said looking at the brunette confused. Kiba let out a growl.

"I don't either, but I can almost guarantee I got really drunk from the caliber of this damn hangover." Naruto nodded in agreement. Standing up he squinted around the room for an outline of some sort of clothing. The brunette boy lunged for the blonde ripping the sheet away from him.

"Hey that's-"

"What you get for laughing at me." Kiba gave Naruto a glare The blonde rolled his eyes and picked up a black t-shirt. He tossed it at Kiba and continued his search for clothes. He found his bright florescent jacket and smiled happily. Next he found his boxers which left the floor clean. He scowled. His shirt was missing…as were his pants...

Kiba pulled on the shirt and went to search for the rest of his clothes only to discover there were no other Kiba clothes. Naruto went over to his drawers and opened them. There was nothing in there. All his drawers cleared. Naruto opened his closet and found nothing there either. He left the bedroom and searched the rest of his tiny apartment. Nothing, no clothes anywhere

"AHHH I'VE BEEN ROBBED AND ALL THEY LEFT ME WAS MY JACKET! OH THE HUMANITY! WHY CRUEL WORLD WHYYYY!" The blonde started mindlessly running throughout the house.

"Idiot why would someone rob you and take only your clothes?"

"Because they're beautiful clothes and I have an amazing sense of style that can only be measured and matched by my sparkling personality."

Kiba stared at the blonde dumbfounded and shook his head, unable to come up with a comeback.

Kiba stared blankly at the floor…where were his pants….he tried hard to think where a drunken him would put them. Fashioning the sheet into a toga around himself he walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer. Nope nothing. He made his way over to the oven and opened it. Not there either.

Naruto had stopped running around to see what the brown haired boy was doing. He gave him a confused look "Why you do that?" Naruto asked.

"The few times I have been drunk I put my pants in the freezer because I kept saying I was too hot and I wanted to freeze them. The other time they got wet so I put them in the oven. Nearly burnt down the house that time." he chuckled. Naruto lifted an eyebrow at him and shook his head.

"So losing your pants is relatively normal for you then?" the blonde asked

"Pretty much." Kiba answered simply

Kiba continued to look around the kitchen and found nothing. He sat down with a huff. Naruto's stomach let out a growl and he opened his fridge to get something out that was edible.

"Really, you're going to eat now? In this crisis of a time!"

Naruto closed his eyes turned to Kiba and gave a short nod then turned back and continued to shuffle around the fridge. All noise stopped however and he slowly came out.

Kiba looked at him curiously. "What's that?" he asked.

"A Polaroid shot of the Ramen shop…mmm Ramen…I could really go for that right now" the blonde licked his lips. Kiba caught a glimpse of the back of the photo.

"No, you idiot, on the back there's writing." Kiba snatched the photo from Naruto and read aloud the message on the back of the picture.

"I know what you did last night. Wanna know too? Find me."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"I have never seen that before in my life!" the blonde exclaimed.

"Probably not, the picture looks fairly new…"

"FIEND! That must be from the one who took my pants! Is there anything else on that? A ransom of some sort? I love those pants so much…."

Kiba shook his head annoyed at the loudness and looked at the picture.

"I think we should go to the ramen shop."

"Why the Ramen shop? You think the old man took my pants? I knew you couldn't trust old people! He was too nice! THE FIEND THE MONSTER THE DEVIL THE…TERRORIST!"

Kiba thrust the picture in his face and covered his mouth.

"It's a picture of the Ramen shop. This means someone is leaving us clues…a trail of breadcrumbs to follow." he said frustrated.

He uncovered Naruto's mouth shaking his head. "Please don't say anything stupid."

Naruto pouted. "I wasn't." the blonde whined.

Kiba shook his head again as he headed for the door.

"Wait we're gonna leave now?" Naruto exclaimed.

"Yea, we've checked everywhere in the house for our stuff and clearly it's not here so lets find the bastard that took it all and repay him for the favor."

Naruto noted the mischievous look in Kiba's eyes and grinned. This would be fun.

On their way down the street Kiba tried his best to remain hidden from view dodging behind trashcans and sides of buildings, making sure no one saw him. There was a particular incident in which his toga got caught on the corner of a house and it got ripped off.

Luckily, no one but a small puffball of a dog saw. Other then that one time though, he thought he was doing an amazing job and felt quite epic. Naruto, however, was making a scene as usual. Which for Kiba was both good and bad.

"Hey lady." He tapped one woman on the shoulder. "Have you seen my pants?" The poor old woman shook her head eyes wide and went away as fast as her walker could enable her to go. The blonde then took a trashcan and stood atop it yelling at the top of his lungs.

"HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PANTS? THEY MATCH THIS JACKET SO THEY ARE EASILY SPOTTED, ANYONE? ANYONE? PANTS! ANYONE SEEN THEM?" The brunette went over and smacked the blondes leg.

"Get down from there" he hissed. Naruto tried to kick Kiba away.

"PANTS! PAAAAANNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTSSSSSS" Kiba managed to make the blonde topple down off his stage.

"Dumbass, let's go we're almost there…" he grabbed Naruto's arm and dragged him away.

"But someone here may know." the blonde cried out as he was dragged down the street.

Upon their arrival to the Raman shop, the owner looked at them and laughed hysterically. Naruto ordered a bowl of ramen and the man started to ladle some into a bowl for him.

"You know…" he choked out. "When I was told you would be coming here, I didn't expect this. Quick get the camera!" he looked at his daughter who was covering her mouth trying hard not to laugh. Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Are you the villain who stole my pants from my house!" he growled. The old man laughed harder clutching his stomach. "Villain? Me? No. Guy who came here this morning? Yes."

"AH HA!" Kiba exclaimed "It was a man who did this to us. Now we're getting somewhere!"

Naruto looked at Kiba. "Not really, that makes our predicament worse I think…"

"Your evidence for such a statement?"

"Well, if it's a man, that means we were in my house alone with another man who undressed us and put us in my bed…or hopefully did that…"

Kiba's eyes widened in astonishment. "Oh god no! I was raped!"

The Ramen man behind the counter who had just finished laughing and was wiping the tears form his eyes, doubled over again and hit a ladle sitting in a pot of hot Ramen which ended up flinging said ramen into the air, and straight at Naruto. It landed a top his head with a gross splat .

Naruto let out a scream and started running around trying to cool off his burnt head.

"I'm burning ahhh I'm burning oh oh oh I'm on fire ahhhh someone help meeeee pleaseeee." the blonde pleaded hysterically running around.

The brunette thought fast and jumped over the counter to the sink behind it and turned on the faucet and took out the spray hose. He sprayed cold water soaking all of Naruto. After several moments the blonde stopped screaming. Standing up straight composing himself Naruto lifted his head and looked up at the Ramen man.

"Dear sir, upon entering your establishment I was laughed at, and then humiliated with food. I am now wet and unhappy. You will not be receiving my business today." With that statement he walked out of the shop and into the sunshine. Seconds later he returned and grabbed his previously prepared bowl of food. The ramen man was still laughing completely un-phased by Naruto. Kiba shook his head and was heading to the exit when the man's daughter stopped his and handed him another Polaroid.

"Here" she said. Handing him his next clue. "He was in a cloak type thing, so we didn't really get to see his face. He did say to give you this though."

Kiba nodded and left the shop to find Naruto who was sitting on a bench next to the shop sulking and eating his ramen.

Sitting on the bench next to him, Kiba studied the picture. It was Naruto and Kiba eating one of the giant sandwiches sold down the street at the sandwich shop. On the back of this picture handwritten was: "This was one of the highlights of the evening. Though you will never know what kind of sandwich it was or if it had that "special" mayonnaise you kept asking for."

Kiba made a face at the special mayonnaise part. That sounded…dirty.

Naruto slurped the rest of his food up and looked at Kiba expectantly.

"Where to now?" the blonde smiled.

Kiba smirked. "I guess…we go to the sandwich shop…"

Naruto whooped and stood up. Both boys started for the sandwich shop.

At the shop, Naruto tapped the bell on the counter for someone to come service the customer. Out came a young man who gave them an angry look.

"Not you two again! Get out. You are not welcome here. Go away. Go on shoo!" The man started moving his hands in a sweeping motion. Kiba and Naruto looked at each other and stared down the man.

Naruto got in the man's face. "Are you the pants terrorist?"

The man gave Naruto a confused look.

"Pants terrorist, what? No. If anyone's a terrorist, it's you and your weirdo friends." The man pushed Naruto out of his face.

Kiba's ears twitched. "Are you implying, sir…that there were more then just the two of us?" Kiba narrowed his eyes at the man.

"Yes, there were a bunch of you. Four, at least, maybe more; I lost count after you," he said pointing to Kiba, "destroyed my shop and you and the tubby one stole the giant Mora!" he said pointing at Naruto. "Now no one will get to see her!"

"Mora?" Naruto asked, looking to Kiba who shrugged.

"Mora, my greatest accomplishment! She was beautiful the best sandwich I had ever made and I was putting her on display to be sold today! But you and your hoodlum friends came in and stole her! Then kept accusing me of keeping the best ingredients in the back! You owe me a new jar of mayonnaise! Especially after the unspeakable things you did to it! MAYONAISE DEFILERS! Now get out! Leave before I call someone to take you away!"

"But I wanted to order…"

"OUT!"

Both boys sprinted for the door. Once safely outside the shop and down the street, Naruto turned to Kiba.

"You know…he said the tubby one…you think…he…meant…Chouji?"

Kiba looked at the blonde and nodded. Standing up straight, catching their breaths they started to head towards Chouji's house quite amused at being called two mayonnaise defilers, wondering what they could have done.

"Heh, think we should tell Chouji that man called him "Tubby"?" Kiba mused as he rang the door bell.

"Definitely." Naruto chuckled. The door opened to reveal Chouji's father.

"Hey is-"

"Hey boys, I've been expecting you."

Naruto closed his mouth and cocked his head to the side.

"You have?" Kiba said.

"Yup." The big man grinned. "Here this is for you." He handed them another picture note. Naruto and Kiba both glanced at it. It was a picture of a pole which Naruto was straddling masterfully, doing what looked to be a very complicated stripper move that involved one leg up in the air and the other…mysteriously vanished from sight…..

In the background, Kiba was swinging his missing pants around his head, apparently he'd gone commando yesterday..

Sheepishly, both boys looked at the large grinning man.

"I dunno what you boys are into, though I gotta say my friends and I did some crazy shit in our day…the bachelor parties were the best part of it all…our strippers will most certainly never forget us. Ah, those were some fun times. Try to be careful though, eh? Some mistakes cannot be corrected. Boy, could old Nara tell you that…"

Naruto blinked and then…blinked again. There was nothing you could say to such a revelation and nothing you could do except try not to imagine the possibilities.

"Uh, who gave this ..to you.." Kiba said starting to turn green. He obviously was failing at not picturing the offensive damaging images.

"Uh, Chouji gave it to me and said to give it to you if you showed up."

In the background a timer buzzed. Naruto looked in the house curiously.

"Now, if you don't mind, boys, I have food that is almost done…and well, to be honest I don't really want to share. Good luck on your scavenger hunt." The man laughed and closed the door.

Naruto and Kiba both turned and began walking. Kiba looked at the picture once more and smirked.

"You look like you know what your doing, been practicing?" Naruto rolled his eyes and snatched the photo.

"Says you, look at you and your gyrating hips of fury. Though, that may be an attempt at a windmill…" he turned the photo and read the next message. "You have done good getting this far, especially for the dumb asses you are. Guess where to next? Sweet moves by the way, never thought you were so talented."

Naruto glared at the picture and stuffed it in his boxers pocket with the other two. He would find his pants yet!

"TOO THE RED LIGHT DISCTRICT OF TOWN!" He announced triumphantly. He grabbed Kiba and pulled him down the sidewalk.

" The Happy Kunai." Naruto stared up at the sign and shuddered. He looked over at Kiba who was grinning big.

"Never thought we'd end up here, but hey…should be fun, right, Naruto?"

Naruto was studying the red provocative animated light girl move her hips from side to side.

Kiba tapped him on the shoulder.

"What is so fascinating?" he asked.

Naruto looked at him curiously. "Do you think last night we could do that butt wiggle thing girls do? I've seen Ino do it and I've tried it...but sober me just can't do it."

Kiba looked thoughtful for a second. "Only one way to find out."

He grabbed Naruto's hand and pulled him inside.

The inside of the happy kunai was dark and smelled faintly of old alcohol, perfume, and lost memories just waiting to be uncovered. Kiba made his way over to the front desk. Behind it a woman with bright electric blue hair looked up from her seat and smiled at him. The blue haired woman had glitter all over her face and in her hair. She looked like a blue human disco ball behind the desk

"Well, hello there Kiba, and you too, Naruto." She leaned to the side to see Naruto who was studying his surroundings behind Kiba.

"I figured you would be back, after leaving these." she went underneath her desk and pulled out a pair of bright orange pants matching Naruto's jacket.

Naruto cheered and pulled them on. Next, she handed Kiba his pants which he also pulled on under his toga. He undid the sheet and handed it to Naruto. Buttoning his pants, Naruto gave the woman a curious look.

"Do you by chance have my shirt as well?" He asked trying to peer behind the desk.

"No, I'm afraid not cutie, you disposed of that almost immediately upon entering. Pretty sure you threw it at one of your friends."

Naruto pouted and sighed.

"Do you know which friends we came with?" Kiba asked eagerly.

"Mm not really, I mean the spiky haired one and the bigger one… kept mostly to the side flirting with some of the girls. The other boy stayed in the back. Didn't see much of him." The perky woman smiled at both of the boys.

"Do you have anything else for us ma'am?" Kiba asked as kindly as he could, she did after all give him his pants back.

"Nope, just your clothes that you left." She giggled and shook her head.

The boys thanked her and she returned to the work she was doing.

From the darkness, a shriek was heard, followed by another. Naruto and Kiba looked around for the offending noise's source to see two sparkly busty strippers emerge and dash skip to them. One of them was a blonde a little lighter then Naruto. The other had silver hair.

The blonde haired girl was dressed in a white and black cheerleading outfit that graciously accentuated her deep curves. The silver woman was dressed in a silver bikini with chains connecting the top and bottom piece.

"Oh, look my favorite prodigy student! I never thought anyone could master that move but, Naruto, you did amazing." The silver woman gave Naruto a hug. The stunned Naruto awkwardly wrapped his arms around the woman. The blonde winked at Kiba, who looked at her confusedly. Naruto managed to make the woman release him and took a step back.

"Aw, what's wrong, boys, you seem so different from last night." the blonde pouted.

Naruto shook his head and looked to Kiba. Who was also backing away.

"Sorry, lady, we have no idea who you are." the brunette said slowly heading towards the door. Naruto kept shaking his head.

"What, you don't remember me Kiba Inuzuka? After such an amazing night…" tears welled up in the blonde's eyes.

The bikini girl wrapped her arms around the blonde and looked at Naruto. "Oh my god, Naruto, control your friend, he is totally being an ass."

Naruto blinked away his confusion and looked at Kiba. "Yeah...Kiba stop being an ass…like… she… said."

Naruto tried not to laugh and gave a smile to the bikini lady who narrowed her eyes.

"You saying you don't remember me, Uzamaki?"

"What, no. I didn't say that at all. Nope not me….has anyone ever told you your pretty?" Naruto started to move slowly toward the door with Kiba.

"Really, what's my name then, hm?"

"I …uh…I ..Lady Silver of the Lake? No? Yes? Sparkle McGlitterbuster? Saki Jones?" Naruto fumbled for good stripper names.

"Thought so." Both women got closer to the boys. The silver haired one, smacked Naruto and the cheerleader slapped Kiba before they both stomped off offended, in a very dramatic fashion.

Naruto glared after them. "We'll get proper revenge later for now we have a mission. And that mission is to get revenge on the ones who have set us up."

Naruto and Kiba glanced at each other rubbing their sore cheeks, smirking at each other, they nodded in silent agreement of where to find "the spiky haired one and the chubby one." They started heading for the training ground.

At the training ground they approached the spot where Shikamaru and Chouji were laying staring up at clouds. Shikamaru's eyes opened and looked to the approaching intruders, and he held up another Polaroid picture note.

The boys sprinted to the lazy pair and without a word Kiba took the picture and studied it. It was a picture of all of Naruto's clothes hanging from….the tree in the back of Naruto's apartment. On the back the note read "I'll be waiting for you here J" Kiba made a noise.

"I can't believe you didn't check your backyard…you could have saved yourself a lot of troublesome effort, though, I have to hand it to him, he knew what you two would do. Masterfully planned, just like a puppet master would do." Shikamaru looked up at the two angry glaring boys.

"Don't look at me like that. I just did what I was told, you should be thanking me. After your drinks got spiked last night, Chouji and I followed you and made sure nothing happened to you two. You owe us." the black haired boy said simply. Chouji nodded in agreement.

Naruto and Kiba looked at each other and then at the two lackadaisical boys. In perfect orchestration the boys aimed a kick to Shika and Chouji's heads and then dashed for Naruto's house before the two could get up. Those two would pay for it later but for now they had to address the evil doer who had put them through hell and humiliation for the day.

Standing in Naruto's backyard, Kankuro smiled at the pair as they entered from around the corner of the house.

"It took you long enough." he mused.

"Yea well, you made one hell of a scavenger hunt. Now what the hell happened last night." Kiba demanded.

Kankuro smirked at the brunette and took a stack of Polaroid shots out of his pocket and tossed them at the boys. The pictures landed scattered on the ground and Naruto bent down to pick them up and put them in his pocket.

"I'm going to kill you, Kankuro. And this is how. First, I will push you into a wall and punch you in the stomach until it is all soup. Then I am going to rip you a new-"

"Eh, save it, Kiba, not interested. This wasn't aimed for you as much as it was blondie. You just happened to be here and caught up in the grand scheme of things. I just hope I got my money's worth. Those strippers charge a lot to put on a show." The boy smiled at the dumbfounded pair.

Naruto looked up at him confused. "Why me?" he asked, feeling wrongfully attacked.

"Because you didn't call Gaara back."

"What the fuck does that-" Naruto stopped Kiba- mid sentence and nodded. "Ah," he said. Kiba turned and looked at Naruto confused.

"Gaara hates not being called back in time…it offends him…" Naruto shrugged.

Kiba looked angry and confused between Kankuro and Naruto. He thought it was a very stupid reason yet everyone here was fine with it...

"Yea, he hates it. And when Gaara is unhappy I end up getting a pissy grumpy Gaara. Have you ever dealt with that? It sucks. He's a jerk and violent at that." Kankuro said indicating a bruise on his cheek.

"Yea...he kinda is…" Naruto agreed. Kiba still looked upset.

"I did nothing wrong. I want compensation!" Kiba exclaimed, "I was unjustly punished for a crime that I-"

"It was your fault Naruto didn't call. You did something, I know you did. I don't know what you did but I blame you! Bad dog!. You're the cause of it all." Kankuro started to head towards them and right on past and around the corner of the house.

"Have a good night boys. My work is done. And Kiba. Don't forget to call Shino back. He is still waiting by the phone. He looks sad."

"When did you see-" Kankuro had already walked off so Kiba stopped himself it wasn't worth it and he didn't care. He'd give the boy a call back to appease his waiting.

Naruto shook the tiny tree and made his clothes all fall out of it. Together both boys gathered them up and brought them inside.

Naruto's house was exactly how it had been left. A little messy but all in all empty. They brought the clothes to the bedroom where Naruto stuffed them into random drawers. He threw his sheet on the bed and flung himself down upon it. He took the pictures out of his pocket and began to study them.

Some more shots of the boys at the ramen shop taking a picture with the ramen man, wearing bowls on their head.

More pictures of the strip club where kiba was taking off more clothes and Naruto giving quite a show on the pole. A picture of both boys dancing on the stage.

A shot of them walking on a fallen tree branch as Shikamaru tried hard to make sure they didn't fall.

A couple shots of the sandwich shop owner greeting them and also of him chasing them out. A very vivid picture which fully explained the insult "mayonnaise defiler", along with another great shot of Mora the amazing sandwich. He really hoped none of that mayonnaise made it on the sandwich.

He went to the next picture. A smile crossed the blonde's face.

"What are you so happy about?" Kiba asked coming in the room placing the phone on his dresser. He strode towards Naruto who lifted up a photo for him to see. The picture was Kankuro stripping Kiba. The next was him laying him down next to a naked Naruto, both passed out like rocks.

"We didn't sleep together last night." Naruto said with a grin. "It was all a terrible and mean joke played by Kankuro." Kiba smirked at Naruto and threw the pictures down on the nightstand next to the bed.

"Good, I wanted to make sure my first time with you was not in a drunken idiotic stupor." He leaned down and planted a kiss on Naruto's lips.

Pulling back, he smiled at the blonde who wrapped his arms around his neck and artfully pulled Kiba down onto the bed with him.

"Then I suppose the day after a drunken stupor when you're in a hung-over haze is equally as bad, huh." Naruto said. He ran his fingers through the brunettes hair. Kiba growled and kissed the blonde hungrily. Licking all sides of his mouth, he moved his hands down Naruto's stomach and back up in a teasing fashion, never quite touching him.

Naruto let out a gasp and tugged gently at Kiba's hair, trying to convey that he most certainly did think that a hung-over haze was the perfect first time.

Kiba pulled back and licked the blondes lips. Looking at him hazily he smirked.

"I'm not sure if being hung-over is the right time…I mean it is supposed to be special…"

Naruto narrowed his eyes at Kiba. "I was going to apologize for all the name calling today…but I've decided not to. Especially if you make the choice you seem like you are about to make."

Kiba chuckled and kissed the blonde again shaking his head. "Nah, I'm not gonna make that choice, I want you. I think after today we should ahems…seal the deal." he winked at Naruto.

Naruto cheered. He ran his hand down and cupped Kiba, making the boy groan.

"Let's not waste anymore time then…"

Kiba lowered his lips back onto Naruto's and moved against the boys hand. Waste no time indeed. Tonight would be a night most certainly remembered.

Bwa-ha-ha What a twist! AND NOW! visit the prequel

s/7557823/1/A-Story-of-Bugs-and-Clothing