Title: A Lost Appetite

By: Dark Dreamscape

Author's note: Well, I know I'm beating around the bush and dodging due dates but... PLEASE DEAL WITH ME, IMAGINARY READERS! Why imaginary, you ask? Because nobody reads my stories. Although, this actually started when I was eating and thought of my friend's kittens. I was eating catfish, by the way. I might do another one, if I find something ironic. ^^ Probably not... It'll just be another series to finish. -_-"

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail, and I don't own catfish! Well, I do, (Jydaria: DID! Me: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, DID) but I ate it for dinner. YUUUUUM~ ...Now I sound like that person from the Red Robin commercial... Okay, moving on.

Chapter 1: Catfish

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUM~!" Happy said blissfully as his eyes shone and he looked so much... Cuter, in Carla's eyes.

Carla stared at him eat the fish and wondered if he knew what he was really eating. Curiosity got the better of her, so she gently inquired, "Happy..." He looked up from his task and stared at her with such doe-like eyes, "...You do know what you're eating... Right...?" she probed, hoping that he did know. But then again, there was a part of her that begged he didn't.

"Cuesch aei cho! (Course I do, for those of you who don't know because you don't talk with your mouth full of food)" he replied blithely, taking another bite from the fish.

"...Then I'll remind you..." she gulped and braced herself for possible upcoming chaos, "That's-..." she stopped at seeing his eager, innocent face. Like a child's. It pained her to break it to him.

"Yhesch, Charle? (Yes, Carla?)" he tilted his head questioningly, and then Pantherlily flew over as the his partner and Natsu started to fight, Wendy doing her best to stop them.

"Happy?" he asked cluelessly as Carla tried to stop him, "Why are you eating Catfish?"

Happy paused in mid chew.

"..." Carla stared at Pantherlily. He did it. He broke it to Happy. Now what? Even her future seeing ability couldn't tell her.

"...What...?" Happy asked, the fish dropping out of his mouth, his paw quivering in fear.

Pantherlily stood, oblivious to it all, "I said, 'Why are you eating Catfish?'." he repeated bluntly.

"Cat... Fish..." Happy repeated to himself, no doubt connecting the dots in his head.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried as he flew to the bathroom as he closed his mouth.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!" the two heard as running water drowned out most of his cries.

"...Poor Happy," Carla sympathized and flew through the hall to comfort him.

"...Was it something I said...?" Pantherlily asked after Carla left, though the question was directed to nobody in particular.

Gajeel, with his Dragon Slayer sensitive hearing, turned around from Natsu and Wendy (who was talking about being pacifistic, and Natsu... Just being NATSU) and faced his Exceed partner with questions written all over his face.

"Well," Pantherlily started to explain, "I was just asking Happy why he was eating Catfish and then he suddenly-... OH." he simply stated as the dots connected into a picture.

Happy was a cat who liked to eat fish. But today, he was eating a particular fish. Happy was eating catfish. Get it? No? I'll explain again.

Natsu's cat like Exceed was eating catfish. But then, you already knew what I meant, I'm just stalling. Why? Because I'm the narrator and I'm- (...Okay, I don't know where that little me fragment came from... -_-")

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!" Happy sobbed as Carla's soothing murmurs could be heard from the bathroom.

"..." Gajeel... 'Said' (What the heck is wrong with me...?) for once instead of his typical 'Gihihihihihi'.

"Happy?" Natsu queried and turned in the direction the two were in. Wendy followed suit and the two concluded it was just their imagination.

(V)!_!(V)

"Happy~" Mira sang, holding a deliciously smelling plate of shimmering food, "Would you like some fish?" she asked him, placing the plate in front of him gently.

Recognizing the blasphemous thing, he gasped, then ran (Er, I mean flew) out of the guild with a paw to his mouth as he looked like he was about to puke.

Blinking a few times, she innocently said, "Happy?"

Carla sighed from her spot on the bar counter (Don't know what it's really called...) "Don't ask..." she said.

(V)!_!(V)

Lucy shook her head as Happy clung to her outside the guild, "HAPPY. How many times do I have to tell you, CATFISH ISN'T MADE OF REAL CATS!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAH! LUUUUSCHEEEEY!" he cried, shaking his head to say 'You never know...'

...Okay, I admit, that was stupid. No flames, kay? I was just thinking, then BOOM! "What would happen if Happy ate Catfish? He ate flying fish before!" I might continue this... If I find more ironic foods.
Before I forget, thanks to all who reviewed, fav-ed, followed, and supported me! And before I also forget this, I'll list 'em!
Thanks to (I know the list is kinda late): blackbeltgirl95, vampireorvamprye, SexyDemoNeko, MissGigglesx3, kaloobia, Teehee4869, Wolf skater, chestli, FairyVampire-chan, Flower of Hell, Vi-chi-chan, Elby-Tiadoroppu, TheUnquietDead, Chibi-neko-chan8, Azure Princess, RedRubyS.C, shugocharaluver, Yuki Inoue, Aki Vermillian, blackthunder147, magicsong, Lialane Graest, chicca17, . 1, xKishii, WayOfTheShinobi, abby1920, Renting, gamer55551, Sakura1221, granddutchsanastasiaromanvfa n, heywhoknewit, nehamerchant123, Fairy x Hunter, X.x Midnight Neko .x.X, xXpandabuddyXx, Jenny1751, SymmetricalGirl8DeathTheKid, ShinyMagikarp, GoldenRoseTanya, CreativelyIndifferent13, , GreenTeaVodkaWineBeer, Soccer-Idol-Star, oX-Blossom Azalea-Xo, desandted, Azulhada, spiritwolfe123, aggrocks09, XxShyxX, Catwho, t, Distantmemories412, Coraline Mcgarden, Erza Scarlet Titania, x-Cloud Adventurer, and RaveMaster14. ...I kinda have a feeling x-Cloud Adventurer is oX-Blossom Azalea-Xo, but I might be wrong... Sorry for the late list, but I've been thankful all along!
Hope you enjoyed, later~