The Best Shortest Anti-Sasuke Romance Fanfic With a Long Title Ever Written!
WARNING!This fanfic contains major Sasuke, Sakura and Ino bashing. Reader disgression is advised. Side affects may include irritation, itching, giggles, deep hate for the writer, runny nose, watery eyes, and rash. Read with caution.
Sasuke was wandering around the village of Konoha, bored out of his mind and trying to avoid his annoying fanclub who he was terrified of being glomped to death by. He shuddered the thought of them. The cow, Sakura and her partner, the pig Ino were their leaders. He walked around a corner and spotted the cow and pig. He tried to sneak back around the corner, hoping they hadn't seen him but it was too late.
"SAAASSSUUUKEEEEE!!" Cow and pig squealed very high pitched like at the same time. Sasuke swore it was the worst noise in the world. My eardrums!! They bleed!! He thought as he jumped atop the roof adjacent to the one he had attempted to hide behind and began to run along it before the fangirls could round the corner and catch him. Once again he was too late. Before he knew it they were hot on his tail.
"Sasuke! We LOOOVE YOUUU!!" they both yelled. Ino grabbed a hold of his sleeve and he instantly yelled "RAPE!" before shaking her off and running faster. He turned a corner, thinking there would be more roof, but alas, there was not. So instead he fell headfirst into a dumpster. Sakura and Ino, thinking Sasuke was too cool to fall headfirst into a dumpster and figuring he hadn't, jumped over it and continued their hunt. Nothing like an uncool smelly escape.
Sasuke crawled out of the dumpster and cautiously made his way to the stream, hoping to wash off the stinky smell.
When he washed and made himself at least half smellable he looked around and noticed a girl about his age sitting on a large rock close to the water. She had short red hair and dark red eye and she wore a Lolita style dress. Sasuke felt his heart beat faster. What is this feeling? I've never felt this before. Could it… could it be love?! Yes! It must be! He walked over to the strange girl and boldly said "Hello."
She looked up at him with a quizzical expression. "Salut."
Sasuke had little idea of what she said but for some reason he felt his face redden slightly. "M- my name is Sasuke Uchiha." He stuttered, sticking out his hand. The girl nodded and shook his head.
"Je' mappelle Miku Sakamoto."
Sasukes blush deepened as Miku shook his hand. He suddenly felt and extreme feeling come over him that he couldn't seem to control. Without realizing what he was doing he leaned in and
kissed her passionately. Miku growled in anger, pushing him away and slapping him, leaving a bright red handprint on his cheek Before yelling. "Chienne! Essayez cela encore et la défectuosité a fendu votre gorge!"
Sasuke didn't what she had said, nor did he care; instead he kissed her again. Miku once again shoved him away and quickly drew a kunai out of her holster and slit Sasuke's throat as he dove in for another kiss. His body fell forward and she sidestepped so the body fell pathetically to the ground. "Je vous ai averti. Chienne."
Miku bent over the Sasukes dead body and was about to clean the blood off when she heard voices.
"SAASSUKE-KUUUN!! WHERE ARE YOUUU?" the earsplitting screeches of Sakura and Ino called. Miku covered her ears. "Mes tympans!! Ils saignent !!" The girls were almost to the stream and Miku quickly shoved the kunai into the dirt by the body before quickly and quietly darting out of sight. The cow and pig emerged from the trees and saw Sasuke laying face down in the grass. They thought that he had fallen asleep and walked over to him. "Sasuke-kun! Wakey wakey!" Ino said as she and Sakura squatted by the boy. Sakura picked up the kunai jammed into the ground and didn't notice the blood on it since it was covered by dirt. Meanwhile Ino had managed to roll Sasuke onto his back. "Geez Sasuke you're a heavy slee- YEEK!!" Ino screamed when she noticed the cut across the dead boys throat and that he was covered in his own blood.
"Oh no! Sasuke!" Sakura screamed.
"Whats going on here?" a stern voice asked. Sakura and Ino looked up into the masks of three and ANBU black opps. The ANBU took in the scene at hand. Sasuke, dead; Sakura, holding the murder weapon; and Ino, who had blood on her hands and shirt. Without any questions asked, the ANBU had Sakura and Ino bound and gagged and took Sakura, Ino, and Sasuke's dead body back to Konoha.
At the village Sakura and Ino were tried and found guilty of the murder of Sasuke Uchiha and were immediately executed. All the while, Miku watched the girls trial and execution. Afterwards, villagers would claim seeing a girl leave via the village gate; smirking all the while singing "Pour dire la vérité encore, je pars avec le meurtre."
French phrases used.
Salut- hi
Je' mappelle- my name is
Chienne! Essayez cela encore et la défectuosité a fendu votre gorge- Bitch! Try that again and I'll slit your throat
Je vous ai averti. Chienne- I warned you. Bitch.
Mes tympans!! Ils saignent- My eardrums!! They bleed
Pour dire la vérité encore, je pars avec le meurtre- To tell the truth again, I am getting away wither murder
