Pairing: JJ/Berkley
Disclaimers: don't own FAKE characters (boy, I wish I did) JJ is also a brunette – but don't worry this will change (problem on my part thinking that he should be a brunette)
Warnings: man on man relationships and I'll add yaoi… dunno where this is going ^_^
Chapter 1 – Proposition
Officer Berkley Rose gazed out of his office into his 'kingdom' – the 27th precinct. Glaring briefly at Dee Laytner, the man who took the best shag in the world away from him. Ah – Ryo McLean… His intense blue eyes slid to said man and his stare glided appreciatively over the slender body…
The beautiful skin, as smooth as it seemed, he remembered smiling faintly as he recalled the sharp punch he had received for his troubles. The full rose-bud lips, pouting sensually as he filled out a report on his latest case. And the dark, coffee-coloured eyes, intense pools of emotion, stared blankly at the computer screen. Oh, how I could make those eyes fill with pleasure, he thought, and dreamt about the long legs, hidden beneath the desk, wrapped around him, Ryo's slender body writhing in ecstasy under him as he licked and kissed every single part of his anatomy.
Unfortunately, Dee broke into this fantasy, by stepping into his line of vision, looking over Ryo's shoulder at the screen. The dark-haired detective said something into Ryo's ear, causing a beautiful smile to break out over his face and a hint of a blush to cover his cheeks as he nodded.
I wonder what that bastard said to make him look like that? Berkley thought, watching intently to see what would follow.
Dee wrapped his arm around Ryo's waist and pulled him up out of his chair, holding him close to him and putting his other hand at his throat, tracing the blonde-haired detective's pulse line. Ryo swivelled in Dee's arms and, as he looked closer, Berkley noticed moisture on both their cheeks. Ryo wrapped his arms around his lover's neck, Dee encased him in a bear hug, pressing Ryo to him and burying his face in his neck. The blonde detective flung his legs into the air and Berkley watched on as Dee spun him around.
Officer Rose spluttered. What is going on? He trudged out of his office to find out… to come face to face with Drake, Jim and the rest of the 27th, whooping and shouting the word 'congratulations', throwing cheap champagne over the two loving detectives.
Oh, no…
Berkley looked around for detective Jemmy James Adams to confirm his suspicions…
He found the small man standing in a corner glowering at the couple. He had his arms wound tightly around his chest as though he were holding himself together. JJ must have felt Berkley's gaze as his own shot up to meet his stare. His strange purple-tinted irises dragged the blonde officer into the depths of his sadness, his pain… and then those eyes were gone, back on the couple. Berkley felt a similar hurt for the other half that JJ was pining for. He didn't feel, however, that pained. He'd always known deep down that it was never going to happen. Unfortunately, it had happened between JJ and Dee. Once. Granted it had happened during their stay at the academy, but it had had a great effect on JJ. He had been in love with Dee for such a long time and when he had finally got the opportunity to jump in the sack with him, JJ had snapped it up fast. They had been an item for a total of two months, Dee had even told JJ that he loved him, leading the smaller man on. However, soon after, Dee had left him in the lurch. Leaving a broken-hearted JJ alone and contemplating suicide. JJ was much stronger than people thought though and he had tried to suppress his feelings for as long as he could and continue being a great cop. At least that was the story.
Berkley wondered if Ryo knew…
He must do… it would explain JJ and all that, so Dee would have told him. Besides I don't think that even Dee is stupid enough to not tell Ryo something that important. Not if he wants to keep him anyway.
He glanced at the couple, at their smiling, tear-stained faces, and then back at JJ.
The smallest detective had hunched over and was beginning to back away from the scene of Dee and Ryo so happy together, his shoulders trembling. He felt Berkley's gaze again and looked up. He wiped furiously at his eyes and ran down the closest flight of stairs. Berkley had the strangest urge to run after him, comfort him and hold him close enough that he'd never feel hurt again… but he turned from those feelings. Those feelings get people into trouble.
But as he continued to stare after the detective, he found his body moving of it's own accord. Before he seemed able to blink he found himself flying down the stairs towards JJ.
"Wait, JJ!" He called, catching up swiftly, due to his legs being much longer compared to JJ's, he grabbed the small detectives arm.
"Let me go!" JJ screamed. "Don't touch me!"
Berkley pulled the distraught man into his arms, hugging him against his chest. JJ slumped against him, shaking as the sobs racked his slight body. He buried his hands into the officer's crisp white shirt, holding on against the tide of emotions.
"Shh, it's ok." Berkley tried to comfort him, rubbing his arms gently. "Shh…"
They stood there for what seemed like an eternity. JJ became aware, slowly, of who was comforting him, but also found himself disinclined to move. It was too nice. The feeling of having strong arms wrapped around him, it was a sensation he was beginning to feel no longer existed. It did, however, and as his tears began to cease their flow, he found himself snuggling closer into the other man's embrace, attempting to encase himself in Berkley's warmth.
As he felt the other man's body press more firmly to his, he tightened his grip in response. The small man was needing strength and he wanted - needed to be the one to give it. He was unsure as to why he felt such an overwhelming need to protect and comfort JJ. Hesitantly, he rested his chin on JJ's head, finding himself thinking how natural it seemed.
"Is that better?" He asked quietly.
"Mmm… A little. I thought I'd be okay." JJ muttered, moving slightly to look up at the blonde man, his violet eyes red from crying.
Berkley frowned. "I don't understand." He admitted finally.
JJ dropped his gaze, toying with the fabric of the other man's shirt. "Dee came and asked me whether he should ask Ryo to marry him. At first I was spiteful and told him no, but lately I've come to realise that it's never gonna happen." He paused, thinking then gave a small laugh. "Well, not again. So I told him the truth. I told him that I loved him, but I could afford to let him go, that I didn't…" He frowned, searching for the right word. "That I didn't need him the way that Ryo does."
"But… you do, don't you." The blonde stated.
JJ shrugged, feeling the tears rise again. "Not as badly as Ryo does. Have you seen the way they look at each other? I can't compete with that! It's like-like they're each other's air, their life source." He began to shake again, the sadness welling inside him.
Berkley held him tighter still, feeling anger for an unknown reason. Perhaps the thought that JJ was feeling so worthless in comparison to Ryo, though this would make no sense considering his own feeling towards Ryo… Would it? He began to feel great confusion well up inside him.
It was the first time that he had ever been in question about his feelings toward anyone else.
It was true that he'd always wanted to have sex with Ryo, but were there any feelings running deeper than that? He didn't know. At the beginning there had been… something, but now he was in doubt. The way he wanted to protect JJ was surely a sign of his feelings for the other man ending.
JJ pulled away, suddenly and regrettably, he wiped his eyes and laughed a little. "Thank you, sir." He said, business like and unreachable. The expression on his face was one that Berkley had come to recognise. It was a sign that the wearer was withdrawing from him, going back into their self and would suffer alone. "It won't happen again. Now," He was beginning to look more like the JJ everyone knew – no – saw, "this won't do! I hafta go congratulate those two. I hope they have a long and happy life together."
He tried to scurry away, back towards the celebration, but Berkley grabbed his arm, "If you ever, ever need to talk, or anything where you may feel inadequate or you begin to feel like-like you might do something stupid, come find me." JJ stared at him stunned, Berkley frowned, "Please." He whispered huskily.
"Do something stupid? Me?" He plastered a grin on his lovely face – and despite himself Berkley admitted that JJ's face was lovely. "Not me, sir. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
He swiftly made his get away. As soon as Berkley had released his arm, he ran up the stairs taking two at a time. And he almost skipped to greet the happy couple.
Berkley was frozen to the spot for a few seconds, wondering what it was about JJ's vulnerability that had triggered such an odd response from him.
It's the way his eyes draw you in. He concluded. Mentally shaking himself, he made his way back up to the offices.
As he arrived he was just in time to see JJ kissing first Ryo, then Dee on each cheek. He was smiling again, radiating a happiness that put Berkley on edge. He had, just a few minutes before, seen beneath that joyful exterior, and he hadn't liked what he had seen.
"I hope you have a great life together!" JJ was saying, and Ryo was eyeing him almost suspiciously. He knew that something was wrong. His perceptiveness was something that made him a good detective. "Have you told Bikky? Are you throwing a party? When's the wedding?"
He seemed uncontrollably excited, and he was a well known tyrant for parties. Loved them and would use any excuse to throw one. He was due for another celebration.
"Listen up everyone!" Dee addressed them all. "You're all invited. Tell your friends."
"Dee." Ryo admonished, gently shoving his fiancé.
"What? You know you want them all there." Dee murmured softly, kissing Ryo lightly on the nose.
"Urg! Dee, must you do that here?" Drake muttered, "I'm happy for you and all but must you?"
"Yes, else how will he know how much I love him?" Dee replied, smiling gently at Ryo, the honey-blonde man smiled back, love etched upon his face.
Berkley felt like he would vomit. Or smash Dee's face in. Or both.
Everything began to subside, went back to normal. Each and every one of the staff at the 27th congratulated the ecstatic detectives, and then dispersed back to their own desks and soundproof offices. Ryo and Dee, soaked through with the champagne, grabbed a few napkins and, laughing, began to dab each other dry.
Berkley, too, returned to his desk, and tried to concentrate on his work. A new case had come in and he needed to assign one of his team to go undercover.
His eyes crept over to where they often found themselves… resting on Ryo McLean's form. He had, when the case had first come in, thought about sending Dee, so that he could get time alone with Ryo. Now, that seemed too cruel… even to him. He needed someone else. It wasn't high priority, but it was dangerous… he could afford to wait a little longer. Like, till I figure out my feelings about both Ryo and JJ.
This thought shocked him. Berkley had always put his work before anything else, especially his own feelings – made him a nightmare to be with, according to his previous lovers.
Yes, there was definitely something about one of those two. Now there was the simple problem of figuring out who was the missing part of his heart.
"Sir?" JJ broke him out of his thoughts by charging into the room, doughnut shoved into his shapely mouth and arm extended towards him, report in hand. "The Jackson Case, sir, in full."
Berkley took the file, and opened it up to the first few pages. He nodded. "Good."
JJ still lingered and, softly, he shut the door. Hesitantly, he approached the large mahogany desk and placed his taught backside on the edge. Berkley's heart began to race with the proximity of the small detective.
"Did you mean what you said? On the stairs?"
The blonde officer looked up, surprised to find the same JJ that he had found on the stairs. "Yes."
The brunette thought this over, then nodded once, pushing himself up off the desk, backing out of the room.
"Uh… JJ." Berkley jumped up from his desk and approached the other detective. His heart was doing somersaults as he asked, "Come to dinner with me?" JJ looked up at him sharply and one hand flew to his chest as though he were in pain. Berkley flustered and lied. "I… uh… I've been invited to go with a few friends. They're bringing women… I would appreciate the company… your company if possible."
JJ smiled, and it shocked Berkley to his core… it wasn't his usual smile, this one reached his eyes, it was genuine. "Thank you, sir. I… I'd love to."
"Great." Berkley said, and he meant it. "Meet me by my car in the lot around…" He thought about the smaller man's schedule, "Seven?"
JJ opened the door and looked back at him, "Sounds good. See you then, sir." He began to leave, one foot already out the door. "And, sir…" He lowered his voice, "There's no need to lie. I was just surprised that you asked me, of all people." And then he was gone, his false smile in place once again as he skipped to his office that he shared with Drake.
Berkley sighed. It isn't fair that JJ has to fake something like a smile, I bet I could make that smile real. This thought scared the blonde officer. Perhaps these feelings had been suppressed for the strong sexual attraction that he had held for Ryo to take their place? No, that couldn't be it… Could it?
I'll see what happens tonight… He thought, shaking his head to clear it and paying attention to JJ's freshly handed-in report.
