"Fa Mulan, future Queen of China" the crowd underneath the balcony where Mulan stood began to applause at her name. She wasn't used to hear her name that way, not yet but she didn't think she would ever get used to it.
Mulan, a queen, more than that even, Queen of China.
One day a while ago, when she still was with Robin Hood, she received a letter by her mother telling her that her father had to fight for China soon. Her old, sick, fragile father had to fight for China. She wouldn't let that happen. Her father had served when she was still a young child and he had never been the same since. All while his absence no one knew for sure if he would return but when he did he promised never to leave them again.
Mulan wouldn't let him go again so instead she went to pre-war boot camp to get ready for service. The Chinese laws were stricter so the only way she was able to get in was to pretend she was a boy. As Fa Bing she was able to finish boot camp. Of course she was one of the best. Out of all the participants she was one of the few with practical experience.
Besides that another thing happened. It happened that her captain, Li Shang would fall in love with her. She brought big honor to her family after they won the battle against the Huns and Li asked her to marry him, which she accepted.
Although the feelings she had were still strong they were only a smile ghosting over her face and a pain as if someone had stabbed her right in the heart. She had experienced worse in her early life than the loss of her love but Mulan regretted none of those. She told her husband-to-be about the time she had spent with Aurora and Prince Philip, and Shang also knew about her feelings for another but none of them knew that Mulan had lost her heart to the princess.
Today Mulan had a lot to do. The official announcement was already done, followed by a lunch with the press. She would put on a polite smile, not too much though, and let Shang answer all the questions about her life while she looked down on her noodles.
Now and then questions were asked directly to her, which she would have answered despite the manners but today she didn't feel like it. Nobody seemed to notice; they thought it was the natural behavior for a woman to let her man talk. Not even Shang seemed to realize Mulan was feeling down despite her smile and head nodding but honestly, she was grateful for that.
Soon she would be alone with the tailors who would put her into a beautifulgown and sew around her, all while not talking much. It would be the firstquiet moment Mulan will have. She looked forward to those hours alone in her big dressing room.
The first few hours passed by as she assumed they would. The tailor women would work their magic around her. Their conversation would only include "stay still" and "don't move" and "a bit to the right" until she heard a voice behind her that felt like a warm embrace. "You look wonderful!"
Mulan was scared to look in the mirror now because she knew it was her. She pressed her eyelids together and inhaled deeply to calm herself down. She knew who was walking closer to her. When she opened her eyes she saw her in the reflection of the enormous mirror. The piercing blue eyes first, the pale skin which felt like the royal silk and then the peachy lips which Mulan had dreamt of kissing countless times.
"Aurora" Mulan said silently. Finally, the happiness because of her arrival had overcome the fear. Mulan smiled embarrassed. Her face covered with a deeply red blush. Aurora stared at Mulan in awe and stun.
One of the tailor women told Mulan that she should try to walk with the dress. Mulan used this opportunity to walk closer to Aurora. Step by step with the heavy dress in her arms until they stood face to face.
Aurora looked up and down the dress and told the bride to twirl. When Mulan stood again she was happy for a short moment. She saw that Aurora meant it when she said she looked pretty.
For a brief moment Mulan was genuinely happy until reality hit her. The expression on her face changed suddenly.
"What are you doing here?" She whispered coldly. Aurora had obviously noticed the sudden anger and responded confused: "We got invited to your wedding, remember?"
We, Mulan thought... "So, Philip is here, too?"
"Well, yes. Aren't you happy to see me?" I am happy to see you, my princess, I dream of seeing you every time I close my eyes. Not only do I see you there, but I also kiss you, embrace you, feel you. Mulan thought but what she said was quite different. "I am happy, I'm just surprised, princess. I didn't know of your arrival"
The bride put on a smile. She was happy Aurora was here for her special day but the young warrior was also scared. She didn't want to make Aurora feel bad or not welcome because as a matter of fact, she was very Aurora was the only one Mulan wanted at her wedding but she knew she had to stop dreaming. Aurora was happy with Philip, and Mulan would be happy with Shang.
After a short instant Mulan said: "I have to leave", and without any more words, she left.
Night broke in quick and Mulan was thankful for that. She was in her big room and stared all around. She never realized how empty this room was until now that she felt more alone than ever. She tried hard to never show her worries when she was with someone else but now that she was alone she could finally allow herself to cry.
She sat on her bed, her arms tightly wrapped around her legs and herselflooking for some kind of comfort. Although she was alone she still tried to cry as silently as possible. Mulan loathed to hear herself cry. It was a sign of weakness and she had a hard enough time proving everyone she was as strong as a man.
All her trying wasn't enough and she began to sob heavily. So heavy she didn't even notice that someone entered her room. Just when the other sat down on her bed she knew.
"Hey" Aurora's voice said in a comforting voice. The young princess would reveal Mulan's face by putting her hands down and took them in her own, "Why are you sad?"
Mulan wished off some of her tears before she was silent for a moment. Honestly, Mulan didn't know herself why exactly she was sad, she thought of why she felt like crying until she realized.
"I shouldn't be marrying him", she said,"it is not fair that he has to marry a woman who doesn't love him as much as he loves her. I know how much love I'm capable of and he deserves that. He deserves a lot of love, because he is a great man. I do love him, and I know he loves me but-" Mulan looked up directly into Aurora's eyes, "-it is not enough."
Aurora became sad. She never stopped watching Mulan while she talked. She pulled Mulan softly into a hug.
"It's okay", Aurora said. Aurora was helpless, just as much as Mulan was. Both knew that whatever happened, Mulan could never cancel the wedding even if she wanted to. Mulan stopped crying and allowed herself to hug Aurora back.
Since she was aware of how she felt for the sleeping beauty, she was hardly ever strong enough to sincerely hug Aurora back but right now it was too much for Mulan alone.
They were like that for a long time. Mulan never wanted to leave this hug but as soon as Mulan felt her heart race she knew she had to let go.
Mulan wanted to find something else to talk about desperately. Luckily, one of the most obvious questions crossed her mind. She shook her head confused as why she hadn't asked that earlier. "How is your child?"
Before she was to tell Aurora about her feelings the evening she joined Robin Hood's band, Aurora had told her that she was expecting a baby with Philip.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" Mulan looked at Aurora. She was curious to know the answer after all. Aurora swallowed, "There is no child. I lost it. Philip and I tried but whenever I got pregnant, I ended up losing the child in different ways..." Aurora told this with such coldness. She must have been used to the thought of not having her own child. "... Four times... so far"
Aurora tried to put on a smile but Mulan knew it was her turn to comfort the princess. She would say that everything was going to be good in the end and that Aurora would get to be a mother one day.
Although Aurora couldn't believe that, she still appreciated to be with a friend she thought was lost.
Aurora didn't think she had missed Mulan as much as she had. Even though they sat in this big room crying because of their lives Aurora enjoyed it. She was with Mulan and that was the only thing that mattered to Aurora.
For a long moment Aurora's head was resting on Mulan's shoulder while Mulan stroke Aurora's arm calmly. They were completely silent. It wasn't neccessary that either of them said anything and still, Aurora asked, "How did you feel when you were in love?"
Mulan and Aurora had spent hours talking about how they wanted their partners to be, they both talked about the things they loved to do, but somehow they never talked about how theyfelt. It was never needed because they knew anyway but somehow Aurora had no idea what Mulan meant when she said she knew how much love she was capable of because they never talked about that.
Mulan thought for a long moment. She knew she had to be careful now but she had no idea how. Aurora noticed that Mulan couldn't quite form words so she sat up and looked Mulan straight in the eyes.
"Close your eyes, inhale deeply, and think of him."
"Who?"
"The one you were so deeply in love with."
"…oh"
Mulan quietly thought to herself it was silly to close her eyes ever since the person she would think of was sitting right in front of her. Anyway, Aurora reappeared in her mind. She thought of the moment when Aurora claimed she knew love when she saw it. "Well..." Mulan said out loud. She felt that she grinned from one cheek to the other.
She also felt something else: Aurora's hand on her chest which made her quite nervous.
Aurora smiled satisfied, "Your heart is racing! Oh, please tell me about him! You don't need to tell me his name, just how he is, how he makes you feel!"
Okay, Mulan thought, I can do that. She inhaled deeply and thought of how she could say that. The Warrior completely forgot about her wedding and all the stress that came with it, and the princess forgot about her worries as well.
"Their eyes... the bluest I've ever seen…", Mulan exhaled with her eyes still closed and a smile hovering over her mouth.
"Bluer than mine?" Dork. Mulan opened her right eye slightly, "Equally as blue, now if I may?"
"A-hem", Mulan cough exaggerated. "Where was I? Right, he-his eyes. A blue so clear, I swear anyone could get drown in them. He is the most beautiful person I've ever laid my eyes on. I have to admit, I watched him when he slept because I knew I'd dream of him anyway. And the times he visited me in my dreams, those dreams were the best I've ever had. Whenever I'm with him, I feel ... free. I don't have to watch out what I say because he always know exactly how I mean it. He makes me laugh, smile, goofy and silly, o so many things that make me feel good and independent. I can't even describe how exactly he makes me feel, I only know that... I love her."
Mulan's eyes were still closed. She didn't realize what she has said in the end; she was just too lost in thoughts. All she knew was that she was revealed to finally spoke out loud how Aurora made her feel although she didn't really.
Then she heard Aurora whisper, "Do you know if they love you back?"
Mulan's smile fainted immediately. She opened her eyes and said with an almost amused voice,
"Not the way I do."
"How do you know?"
"They don't."
"Did you tell them?"
"Tell them what?"
"Tell them you love her"
"Wouldn't make a difference!"
Mulan couldn't figure out where Aurora wanted this conversation to go. Both knew that it wouldn't make a difference, even if it weren't Aurora that Mulan loved. Mulan would still marry Shang and be a great wife.
"Maybe it does?"
"It does not, believe me."
"Is she married?"
"Yes, well, almost"
"Tell her!"
"Wait.. what?" Mulan was so confused, she, her… Aurora was smiling from one cheek to the other, proud of what she was capable to do. Mulan couldn't even finish that thought, Aurora had already pressed her lips on Mulan's.
• • • • •
"Wait" Mulan said although she was unheard. The princess continued to kiss her path down Mulan.
"Aurora, please."
Aurora felt the heat between Mulan's legs and had to plug up all her strength she called her own not to touch Mulan. She simply placed a kiss on Mulan's center because she couldn't resist before she lay down next to the chinese princess.
They continued to kiss tenderly, gentle until Mulan stopped and whispered, "I can't be touched"
"I know, my love, I understand."
• • • • •
A/N: first of all, i know china is not a kingdom! that needed to be said
also, I hope you enjoyed reading this first chapter of my sleeping warrior fanfiction.
please review and tell me your opinion, what you think and how you liked it! i would really appreciate that :) love, laura
