Selfless Love
Hello, hope you are having a good day. This is after Arthur's bane. Sefa comes back to Camelot. Will everyone welcome her or will they reject her? Will Merlin let her back into his life?
One day, Merlin and Arthur were on the training ground. Merlin had been sad since Sefa fled Camelot. Everyone knew that Merlin liked Sefa.
"Come on, Merlin. We're not done." Arthur said.
"I can't right now." Merlin answered. Gaius' words ran through Arthur's head.
'He will be depressed. You must give him time but don't let him be alone all the time. He will become addicted to it or worse.' Gaius warned a week ago when they had told Merlin and he first started acting like this.
"Come on, Merlin or I'll throw you in the stocks." Arthur teased. Merlin stood up and trained with Arthur. When they were done, Merlin did Arthur's laundry. Gwen saw Arthur looking out the window thinking.
"What's wrong?" Gwen asked.
'I'm concerned about Merlin. He's getting worse and I fear what will happen. Gaius has warned me of everything that can happen. I do as he says but Merlin's just keeps getting worse. Gaius told me this morning that Merlin had cried all night but not in his arms. Merlin's wanting to suffer alone. Gaius thinks that Merlin might get worse."
"Have you tried talking to him? I talked to him before he came to wake you. He said that he was struggling but he would make it through this. You have to talk to him."
"Thank you, Guinevere. I'll do that when he gets back."
"Good. Be gently with him."
Gwen left the room just as Merlin came in. Merlin took care of the laundry. Just as he was about to leave the room, Arthur spoke up.
"Merlin, sit down." Arthur said.
"Why?" Merlin asked.
"Because I want to talk to you?"
They sat down at the table.
"How are you feeling?" Arthur questioned.
"Fine." Merlin lied.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, why?"
"Because you're depressed and you're getting worse. Gaius told me that he heard you crying last night. Why didn't you go to Gaius if something was bothering you? You usually do."
"I couldn't. He wouldn't have been able to help me."
"Merlin, we all know that you loved Sefa."
"Can we not talk about this? I have work to do."
"We have to talk about it some time. There's no better time than now."
"Arthur, it's too much."
"It's too much because you won't talk to people."
"How can I talk to people when they all tell me to get over it. Everyone says that she doesn't deserve my love. She may have commit treason but that changes nothing. I love her and I always will."
"I know and I'm not going to tell you not to love her. You will always love her and I'm not going to say that time will heal this because it won't and it didn't with me. That's why Gwen and I are married. No matter what we did, we still loved each other."
"Sefa knew that I loved her. When we were done with our duty, we would go walk in the woods. We loved each other. We were starting to get serious."
"As in marriage?"
"Yes. When we got back, I was going to ask her to marry me."
"That's why you've been like this. You think that now that she's gone, you won't get that chance?"
"Yeah."
"If it's God's will, Merlin. She will come back or you will find her and you will be together."
"I hope so."
"Do you feel better?"
"Yeah. It's still hard though."
"It will be. It might get harder. Some days you'll feel hopeless and don't even want to live and some days you feel able to handle the world."
"Every day has been hard. I didn't want to get up when I had recovered from the concussion and everything else. It was just so hard."
"It will be but the more you talk, the better."
"Thanks."
"How long since you'll actually slept?"
"Since I finally woke up?"
"Go home and get some rest. I don't want my manservant passing out all over the place."
"Thanks, Arthur."
They got up. Arthur went to Merlin and hugged him. Merlin was shocked but he hugged back.
"It will be ok." Arthur said.
"I know." Merlin answered. They pulled away and Merlin went home. When he went home, he saw Gaius.
"Merlin, what are you doing here? I thought you would be with Arthur." Gaius asked.
"I was but he made me sit down and tell him how I've been feeling. We talked and he asked when I actually slept. When I told him, he told me to go home." Merlin explained. He walked to his room.
"Merlin, come sleep on my bed."
"Ok."
Merlin laid down on Gaius' bed and eventually fell asleep. That night, Merlin woke and saw a note on the table with his dinner. Merlin looked at the note and sighed knowing that Gaius wasn't going to be home till late. He sat down and ate his dinner. When he was done, he got ready for bed. He heard a knock at the door. He sighed and put his shirt on while he walked to the door. He opened it and Sefa ran into his arms and cried. Merlin held her and shushed her. Sefa kept repeating how sorry she was.
"It's ok. Calm down, Sefa. Come sit down." Merlin said. They sat on the bench. Merlin closed the door and got Sefa a cup of tea. He gave it to her. "That should warm you up."
"Thank you." Sefa answered.
"What happened, Sefa?"
"When my father died, I ran. People were after me. I'm not sure who."
"It wouldn't have been us. The queen was after your father not you."
"I know but someone was after me. It's been so cold and I just kept running. I didn't stop. I saw Camelot and knew that I would be safe. I knew that you would be back and that you would help me. I'm so scared."
"Is that why you're freezing?"
"Yes."
"You're in shock as well. Let me get a blanket."
Merlin went to his room and grabbed a thick blanket. He came back and wrapped it around Sefa. He sat next to her and pulled her close. Sefa leaned into his touch.
TBC
