'Mina,' Samar called across the room, trying to catch the little girl's attention. Mina was sitting cross-legged in front of the coffee table, completely engrossed –as per usual- in her drawings, before school. Samar, meanwhile, finished up packing Mina's lunch for the day and tucked the purple lunchbox into the matching backpack. She then stood by the kitchen counter, arms folded, and eyeing Mina with a hint of amusement, waiting for a response. Some three months on from the fateful phone call that had changed everything and tipped both their lives upside down, Samar and Mina were at least, well entrenched in their morning routine. For the moment, Mina was enjoying her usual last minute drawing in the spare time between eating breakfast and getting dressed, and heading off to school. 'Mina...' Samar hummed again. Finally, the little girl turned and glanced over, her chocolate brown eyes wide and curious.
'Yeah?' She replied, though still absent-mindedly. Samar's lip twitched.
'Your birthday's tomorrow,' Samar began slowly, 'are you sure you don't want to have a party with your new friends from school?'
'I'm sure,' Mina mumbled, turning back to her drawing. 'I see them every day at school.' Samar gave a small sigh; Mina's birthday was a touchy subject of late. It felt wrong not to celebrate it, but the little girl was adamant that she didn't want a party. She still didn't like crowds of people, to the point where the first few weeks of school where she'd had to be surrounded by completely unfamiliar people had led to a struggle every morning getting her to go, and then another struggle once there to convince her to let Samar leave. Eventually Mina had made a small group of friends, settled in, and started going to school without a fuss, but she still seemed to enjoy the peace and quiet of her time at home without them too. She had been to the birthday party of one of those very same friends two weeks earlier, and had immediately shied away from the crowd and their fussing... And it had been from there, that Mina had decided that she didn't want a party for her own birthday.
After all the other progress made in helping Mina adjust to her new surroundings, that particular insistence had left Samar conflicted and far more miserable than she would have first thought.
Samar paused, weighing it up in her mind for what felt like the umpteenth time. All she wanted was for her little niece to be happy. After being dragged halfway across the globe, orphaned in a horrific accident, and then left with a strange, unfamiliar relative, Mina had been through enough. She had settled remarkably well since, and Samar didn't want that progress dashed by any unnecessary birthday-related trauma... But doing absolutely nothing for Mina's special day felt just as awful. She wanted to do something.
'Is there anything else special that you want to do for your birthday instead?' Samar asked cautiously. Mina set down her crayon, screwing up her face and staring anxiously down at the colourful pages on the table in front of her, thinking it over... And then her face suddenly lit up. She turned on the spot in a flash, looking up at Samar in gleeful eagerness.
'Can we go to the zoo?' She gasped. Samar's lip quirked up in amusement, wondering if the idea even crossed Mina's mind that the zoo would be crowded.
'The zoo?' Samar asked again, now stalling for time and trying to think of alternatives. Somewhere crowded, when Mina was still so fearful of unfamiliar crowds, was unlikely to result in a happy day. Regardless, Mina nodded adamantly, and so Samar pressed further; 'do you want to see something in particular?' Mina broke into a grin even wider than the last.
'Butterflies,' she chirped, quite matter of factly. Ah. Samar dropped her gaze to the wooden floorboards in instant understanding for a moment. Butterflies, of course. Mina did love all things butterfly-related, and well... That made things a lot simpler.
'I don't think there are butterflies at the zoo,' Samar pointed out gently, maintaining an all too thoughtful, earnest expression. Mina's face instantly crumpled in defeat and Samar tried desperately not to chuckle for that one beat of pause before she continued; 'but there's a butterfly garden we could go to instead, just you and me. How does that sound?'
Just like that, the defeated expression vanished from Mina's face and she bounced to her feet in anticipation.
'Yeah!' Mina cheered, pumping one tiny fist in the air. This time, Samar actually did let out a laugh; the problem was solved. The butterfly garden was far less likely to be crowded, and Mina's excitement filled the air between them as if it were contagious. It only lasted a few seconds though, before another idea seemed to cross the little girl's mind, and she took on a more shy, curious smile. 'Can Aram come too?' She asked quietly.
'You don't want to see your school friends this weekend, but you want Aram to come with us?' Samar chuckled back. That first drawing of Mina's that Aram had hung on the side of his monitor still remained in place –now joined by two more since then, that were done whilst sitting at his desk after school on occasion where the whole team had been forced to work particularly late. Mina had claimed Aram as her buddy, running straight to him from the elevator whenever she came to the Post Office, and Aram very cleared adored Mina just as much... But Samar was still amused by the idea that of all the particular individuals Mina could pick to come along to her birthday, she would pick Aram. Regardless, Mina screwed up her face in indignation.
'Aram's my friend too,' the little girl protested, staring back with wide eyes that pleaded with Samar to agree.
'Ok, ok,' Samar conceded, still chuckling slightly. 'I'll ask him.' She leaned sideways a little, plucking the purple backpack from its place beside the counter, and gesturing towards the front door. 'You ready to go to school now?' Mina nodded eagerly, her pony tail and its little purple ribbon bouncing as she bobbed her head up and down in excitement now that they had settled the birthday dilemma. She skipped forwards towards the front door, ready to go. All the while, Samar shook her head in amusement.
/*/*/*/*
'Hey,' Aram greeted Samar the second she stepped into the war room.
'Morning,' she murmured back with a small, but no less genuine smile. There was a pause as Samar turned away to tuck her bag under her workstation, but it was a little slower than usual and Aram watched curiously.
'What's up?' He asked, trying to sound casual. Samar turned back to face him again, her lip twitching in amused disbelief over the fact that of all people, Aram was the one Mina wanted to come with them.
'It's Mina's birthday tomorrow,' she mused. Samar wandered across the small thoroughfare that was the gap between their desks, stopping just shy of the edge of his. Aram's face instantly lit up with a smile wide from ear to ear.
'Oh, cool,' he burst out. Aram sat up straighter in his seat, still grinning back at her. The excitement was clear, as was the affection he had for Mina. 'What are you doing to celebrate?'
'I was thinking we'd go to the Butterfly Habitat Gardens at the Smithsonian on Saturday,' Samar observed, her lip quirking up again. 'And then we'll probably go for ice cream, or get pizza for dinner or something.' Aram nodded his earnest approval of the plan.
'Sounds like fun.'
'Actually...' Samar trailed off, shifting on her feet for a moment, and finally rolling her eyes at herself. 'Mina asked if you could come too,' Samar finished, far more matter of factly this time. Aram did a double take, glancing back at her in surprise, and Samar faltered again. 'You don't have to, if you've got something on, or-' she tried awkwardly to continue, but Aram madly shook his head.
'No, no, Mina's my little buddy. I'd love to come along,' he insisted, and then suddenly paused. 'Wait... Is it ok with you if I go?' They were friends, sure –good friends, even. But, navigating the approach to her niece asking him along to birthday celebrations was uncharted territory.
'Sure.' Samar shrugged, but it was hard to miss her eyes crinkling slightly with contentment. Aram grinned, though calmer, more earnest this time.
'Well in that case, I'll be there.'
/*/*/*/*
Mina was practically bursting at the seams as she and Samar waited outside the entrance to the garden. They had arrived a little earlier than expected, and now it was a question of waiting for Aram to meet them there.
'Aram!' Mina squealed as he finally appeared along the pathway, walking towards them. Instantly, she tugged her hand from Samar's and went running. Aram stopped in his tracks, grinning widely as he ducked down with open arms and waited for her. He scooped her up the second she ran into him, rising from the ground and spinning her around.
'Hey, little buddy,' he chuckled to her, 'are you here to celebrate my birthday?'
'It not your birthday, silly,' she protested, in the still slightly broken English that she had learned rapidly since starting school just a couple of months earlier. Aram tried to keep a straight face in response to her utter indignation, that was both the spitting image of the expression pulled by Samar in her own moments of stubbornness, and contradicted by Mina's arms flung affectionately around his neck to nestle herself against his shoulder. Samar watched on, having wandered along behind Mina and eventually caught up. Her lip quirked up in amusement as she too, tried to keep a straight face.
'Are you sure?' Aram asked, glancing sideways at the wrapped gift tucked under his arm, 'because I have a pretty cool present here, and it's got to be for someone.' Mina's gaze darted in the same direction for a moment, her eyes growing wide with delight at the sight of the bright purple wrapping paper, before quickly looking back at Aram. Aram, meanwhile, used the split second to grin knowingly at Samar. 'Is it Samar's birthday, maybe?' He teased.
'Nooo,' Mina finally broke into a giggle as she shook her head. Aram gaped in mock surprise.
'Then whose birthday is it?' He gasped. Behind Mina, where Aram could see but the little girl couldn't, Samar had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing.
'Miiiine,' Mina insisted between giggles.
'Yours?' Aram gasped again. He shifted his gaze back to Samar, raising one eyebrow in mock disbelief. 'Samar, is it Mina's birthday or is she just tricking me?'
'Oh, I don't know... Maybe you should check the card on that present,' Samar mused in response. Mina nodded her prompt agreement. Chuckling to himself again, Aram gently lowered her back to the ground, and stayed crouching in front of her. He pulled the gift out from under his arm, making a deliberate show of pulling the card from where it sat under the ribbon, opening it up, and pretending to study the words he had written earlier.
'Well, look at that,' he said, holding it up for Mina to see. 'It says 'To Mina' on it!' Mina bounced on the balls of her feet in excitement, and Aram could only grin further at the way that despite that, she kept her hands politely to herself rather than lunging forwards to take the gift from him. Finally, he held it out for her and she took it gingerly, as if it were a precious treasure to be handled with the utmost care. 'Here you go, kiddo. Happy birthday.'
'Thank you,' Mina beamed back, and Samar couldn't help but smile too at just how happy her niece was.
/*/*/*/*
The garden was surprisingly empty; for at least a half hour, Mina, Samar and Aram had the entire area to themselves. It was full of butterflies, big and small, and in every different colour imaginable. The tiny creatures fluttered everywhere, high above their heads, around their faces, and down low amongst the sea of colour that was the elaborate maze of garden. Despite her excitement, Mina wandered around with almost complete calm; she panned her gaze across the room, walking step by step along the cobbled pathways, and taking in every inch. Samar and Aram followed along, happily allowing the little girl to lead the way as she stared around in wonder. Not once did she jump or go running to reach any fragile set of brightly coloured wings but rather, she approached with delighted caution –until the closest she reached was to crouch down and stare up close at a bright red butterfly that was perched ever so still on a white agapanthus. Mina stayed completely still –nearly statuesque, in fact- watching it in awe as long as she could until it fluttered away.
Standing up again, Mina looked around. Within seconds, her attention was captured again; this time, by an orange and black butterfly that was fluttering around the top of a tall hedge. Mina scurried across to stand at the foot of the hedge, staring up at the flash of orange. With a small smile, Samar caught up to her and lifted her up for a closer look.
'Do you remember what kind of butterfly that is, Mina?' Samar whispered. Mina furrowed her brow, pursing her lips in concentration as she thought it over. Samar held back a grin; on the morning of Mina's actual birthday on Wednesday, she had presented the excited little girl with an illustrated encyclopaedia of butterflies... And Mina had spent nearly every second of free time poring over it ever since. The seriousness on her face now, her adorable, baby-like cheeks contorted in determination, as she tried to remember the name to match the flickering orange wings above her head, was priceless. Finally, and with a sigh of disappointment, Mina shook her head.
'I don't remember,' she mumbled. Samar tousled her hair, and pressed an affectionate kiss to Mina's cheek.
'What about a Monarch butterfly?' Samar suggested, 'I think that might be it.' Mina's face lit up with thought, glancing straight back up to the butterfly still perched atop the hedge, and then nodding eagerly. Just like that, she was happy again.
'How'd you know it was a Monarch?' Aram asked quietly from her side. Lip quirked up, Samar silently tipped her head to gesture at the information sign by their feet –one of many picketed around the garden with photos of the various types of butterflies and emblazoned with their names. Aram glanced at the sign, nodding with an instant 'ah' of understanding as he spotted the photo of an identical orange and black butterfly.
'I think I'm going learn a whole lot more names if she keeps up this fascination with that book though,' Samar muttered back with a grin. Aram chuckled under his breath. Mina continued watching the orange Monarch in awe. Samar held her niece in her arms, just enjoying the happy moment.
A squeal from the other end of the garden made all three sigh in annoyance. Their time with the garden all to themselves had come to an end. Somewhere further along where they couldn't see, but that they could definitely hear, a family with two young children had walked in... And both kids were ignoring the rule about not doing anything that would spook the garden's precious inhabitants.
A cloud of butterflies swarmed into the air in panicked response to the squeals.
Mina stared up, gasping at the rapid swirls of colour above her head.
From the other end of the garden, hushed but firm undertones could be heard, as parents tried to calm their children... And finally, there was quiet again.
It took a while for all those sets of wings to settle and fall still once more. Samar, Aram and Mina all stood frozen, and just watching it all. Both Aram and Mina's eyes went wide as a yellow Eastern Tiger Swallowtail landed on Samar's head.
'Stay very, very still,' Samar breathed, breaking into a wide grin. She held back a laugh at the realisation that she had never uttered such a phrase before in any kind of situation that wasn't deathly serious, case-related and in the field. Mina's head was tipped back ever so slightly, her eyes glued to the butter yellow wings. The butterfly barely moved, the wings only fluttering once or twice, but otherwise quite comfortable where it sat. Two more flew across, above them all, the swarm having finally settled.
And then another one landed on Mina; a dark blue purple one with hints of red on the topmost tips of its wings... And it landed right on the end of her nose.
A breath audibly hitched in the little girl's throat. She almost went cross-eyed trying to watch it.
'I think that's called a Red-Spotted Purple,' Samar whispered carefully, remembering some of the other picket signs she had read earlier.
'Mmhmmm,' Mina hummed her agreement, as quietly as she could. She was almost shaking with excitement, and trying desperately not to. Samar tightened her grip a little, holding her steady. Another flew down –another yellow one, settling down to land on Mina's fingertips where they sat grasping tightly at the shoulder of Samar's t-shirt.
Just a few steps to their collective side, Aram ever so slowly pulled his phone from his pocket. He held it discreetly in front of himself, bringing up the camera function and focusing it on the scene before him... And then quickly snapping a photo. HIs eyes flickered to check the end result on the screen, and smiled widely. It was a beautiful shot; Mina, nestled in Samar's arms, was staring, wide-eyed and delighted at the collection of butterflies... And Samar was staring back, an adoring look on her face as she gazed at the niece she held so close. Aram made a mental note to print a copy for Samar, when they returned to work on Monday.
...And then all of a sudden, Mina sneezed. She had been trying to hold it in, and couldn't any longer.
The butterflies that had perched around them so calmly, all went spiralling into the air in a flurry.
Mina sighed as she watched them all fly away, but still smiled all the same. She grinned as Samar set her back down on her feet, finally able to move and bounce a little in excitement.
'Samar, one was on my face,' the little girl exclaimed, utterly awestruck.
'I know,' Samar gasped back, 'should we see if we can get one to land on Aram next?' She shot Aram a mischievous look as Mina turned on the spot to grin up at him too, nodding eagerly.
'Ok,' he chuckled, holding out his hand for Mina to take, 'where should we go next to find more butterflies, Mina?' Mina latched onto his hand, intertwining her tiny fingers with his comparatively huge ones, and tugged him along. With her other hand she pointed further forwards along the path, and to the left where it forked.
'That way,' she said, quite matter of factly. She tugged on his hand again, and Aram and Samar shared amused looks. Samar shrugged, all too happy to just go wherever Mina wanted to take them.
...And so, off they went.
/*/*/*/*
Two Monarchs eventually perched themselves side by side atop Aram's hair. He stood completely still for as long as possible, only moving the muscles in his face to raise one eyebrow and pull all kinds of silly faces at Mina while the butterflies sat there, trying to make her giggle as she stared up at them. The tiny girl clasped both hands over her mouth, desperately trying not to laugh, but otherwise bursting at the seams. Finally, the butterflies fluttered away on their own, and Mina strolled the rest of the way through the garden hand in hand with Samar and Aram either side of her.
Pizza came home with them for dinner, and Mina proudly showed Aram her new encyclopaedia, with him happily reading aloud to her all kinds of interesting facts as he spotted them.
Last but not least, after waiting all day until they returned to Samar's apartment, Mina opened the present Aram had given her earlier.
She tore at the bright purple wrapping paper until it all fell away... And her eyes went wide at the contents.
It was a three in one, Lego creator set, that could be styled as either a sandwich shop, a flower shop, or a two storey townhouse, entirely dependent on the whim of the builder. Within seconds, Mina was perched in her usual spot by the coffee table in the living room, sorting through the pieces, and flicking through the colourful pages of the builder's manual. Aram and Samar sat either side of her, pointing things out and slowly helping her assemble it all. Samar shot Aram an appreciative smile, and he simply grinned back in response. Mina had no Lego before, but Aram knew; Samar had been considering buying some for her. Mina loved puzzles and all things creative, and the three in one set was a great starter for a potential collection.
Mina let out a long yawn as she gazed at her completed townhouse, studying every detail.
'Samar,' she began tiredly, shifting on the spot to glance back at Samar, before switching to Farsi again; 'Maman and Baba aren't coming back to tell me happy birthday before I go to bed, are they?' A breath hitched in Samar's throat at the sudden change in topic. She exhaled slowly, wrapping her arms around Mina and pulling her in close... And trying to keep herself together. Aram, still right there, instantly bowed his head and stared awkwardly at the floor beneath his knees. He didn't understand the entire question –after all, his Farsi was rusty from years of little to no practice- but he could see Mina's demeanour, and the words 'Maman' and 'Baba' were all too familiar from his own childhood.
They were Farsi, for 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'.
Mina nestled her head miserably against Samar's shoulder, and Samar rubbed gentle, reassuring circles along her back.
'No honey, they're not coming back,' she murmured softly.
'But...' Mina paused, sniffling, 'I want to tell them about all the butterflies and show them my Lego...' She paused again, sighing this time. 'I miss them...' Aram couldn't help but glance over, and finally rest a reassuring hand alongside Samar's on Mina's back. He didn't know what they were saying, but he could certainly tell that it was difficult; Samar's shoulders were tensed, and she was rocking Mina back and forth on the spot where she sat. Samar bit her lip, Mina's words still echoing inside her brain like drum beats; how on earth was she supposed to respond to that? She took another breath; there was really only one way to respond.
'I know you do, Mina,' she whispered, 'I know.' Samar took another breath, pausing just long enough to shoot Aram a tiny, appreciative smile, before returning her focus to Mina and pressing a slow, soft kiss to the top of the little girl's head. 'And they loved you, so much.'
Or at least, Zahra did. Samar knew that for sure. At the very least, Shahin had always been a genuine and affectionate younger brother before they had wandered down their startlingly separate paths. Samar could only hope that he'd had the same genuine affection for his wife and baby girl.
Silence fell between the three of them; as Samar continued to hold Mina close, and Mina cried softly into her shoulder. Aram didn't move away, not even by an inch. He sat with them, eager to stay so that he was there if needed... Until Mina's cries began to ease in favour of slow sniffling.
'Can we read some more before I go to sleep?' She eventually mumbled, her lower lip still trembling.
'The butterfly book again?' Samar asked. Mina didn't raise her head from Samar's shoulder, but Samar could feel the weary nod all the same. 'Ok.' Samar slowly rose from the floor, lifting Mina up as she moved, and carrying her from the living room down the hall, towards her bedroom. Aram followed, somewhat awkwardly, but still he stayed with them. He sat with them too, holding Mina's hand in his as Samar read softly from various pages and passages that Mina picked from her encyclopaedia... Until finally, Mina's eyes struggled to stay open. Samar closed the book, pushing it to one side of Mina's nightstand, and gently tucked the little girl in under her covers and with all her teddy bears and dolls.
'I'll just wait in the hallway,' Aram murmured, finally pulling away. Samar nodded, but didn't look up. She was focused on Mina, on running her fingers through her niece's hair until the little girl fell asleep. Mina's finger tips curled around Samar's other hand but at last, she was relatively calmer.
'I love you, Samar,' she mumbled softly, half asleep. Samar smiled her bittersweet smile, and pressed one final kiss to Mina's cheeks.
'I love you too, Mina.' Samar closed her eyes for the moment she lingered there, until she slowly rose from her crouching position by the side of the bed. 'Good night,' she murmured again. Head bowed, Samar flicked off the last remaining light –the lamp on the nightstand- before wandering out of the room and back to the hallway.
'You ok?' Aram asked softly, once Samar re-emerged. Samar nodded without a word, but gave him another small smile. 'How often does she ask?'
'Only occasionally now,' Samar observed, taking a deep breath to try and calm herself. 'I don't know how well she really understands that they're gone. At least when I lost my parents, I understood. I didn't have to contend with that confusion as well as the grief.' Aram nodded slowly in painful understanding, but Samar continued, sighing; 'I don't know how I'm going to tell her the truth when she's older.' Aram's gaze snapped to hers, his eyes wide and anxious.
'Do you have to?' He asked. Samar bit her lip, tossing it over in her mind. Not telling Mina the whole story would allow the happy fantasy to carry on forever, but...
'If it were me, I would want to know,' Samar said slowly. It would be difficult to hide the truth, especially as Mina grew up and asked questions... And if she stumbled across the truth on her own, Samar knew; Mina would never forgive her for the lie.
'I should probably go,' Aram awkwardly spoke up again. Samar looked exhausted, and he had been there long enough. She needed space to process that last conversation alone.
'Oh, you don't have to rush-' Samar tried to protest, but Aram shook his head, smiling softly.
'-I know,' he said, nodding. 'But you should probably rest, too. It's been a big day.' Samar smiled back as best she could, before bowing her head again in acceptance and gesturing down the hallway towards the front door.
'Thank you... For coming,' she said, as they started walking slowly again. The sincerity was all too clear in her voice, and Samar continued; 'I know it's kind of silly, being invited to a six year old's birthday when you're an adult... But she loved that you came.' Finally, Samar broke into a weary chuckle as they reached the door; 'she'll spend all of tomorrow talking about it non-stop.' Aram grinned in response.
'I wouldn't have missed it,' he said earnestly. 'She's a good kid, Samar.' Samar bit her lip, her gaze wandering for a moment.
'She reminds me so much of Shahin when he was that age...' She admitted. There was a hint of fear to her voice, like the reminder cued concern that Mina could grow up with the same rebellious, disillusioned struggle as her father.
'Really?' Aram asked in instant surprise. Samar's eyes snapped back to his, curious.
'You don't think so?' Aram shook his head adamantly.
'She's bright; that Lego set is aimed at eight year olds and she took to it like she knew exactly what she was doing even though she'd never built Lego before,' he pointed out. Samar furrowed her brow, having not noticed the age label on the box in the slightest. 'She's confident, and kind of serious for her age. But, she still has fun, too,' Aram insisted. He paused for a moment, taking in the anxiety that tugged at Samar's frown. 'She reminds me a lot of you, Samar,' he concluded. There, just like that, the hopeful, thoughtful smile returned to Samar's face, and Aram finally reached for the door handle, pushing open the door. 'Thank you for inviting me to come with you both,' he finally added, stepping through the door. Samar nodded slowly, watching him go.
'Any time,' she said softly.
Thanks for reading :)
Always happy to see questions, comments, waves hello or any other thing you feel like flinging in my direction!
