"Hey Charles!" Jake Peralta yells from across the office with a fire extinguisher in hand sitting on a rolling chair. "Watch this!"
Charles retrieves his phone from his pocket, pointing it in the direction of Jake, ready to film whatever is about to happen. "Already one step ahead of you, buddy!"
Jake pulls the handle on the fire extinguisher and suddenly white frothy bubbles are everywhere as Jake begins to fly across the office, going much faster than he intended. In an attempt to slow himself down, he puts one foot on the ground, but this simply causes him to stop much too quickly. Jake is flung from the black chair and slams right into the side of Rosa's desk, denting the side of it badly. He makes a loud grunting noise, followed by a couple high-pitched squeaking noises.
"Caught that all on video, Jake!" says Charles. "That's definitely going into the end-of-the-year slideshow montage. I've already picked my favorite songs by Celine Dion to go in the background. It's gonna be epic!"
Meanwhile, Rosa's face is showing immense annoyance as she watches Jake get up slowly from his fall. He rubs the back of his head and makes a pouty face like a toddler. "Diaz, my head has a boo-boo. Will you kiss it to make it feel better?"
Rosa growls menacingly, her upper lip raised. "Dude, we talked about this," Rosa says, now more annoyed than amused. "First of all, I'm the only one who's allowed to destroy my desk. Make another dent and you're toast. Second, there's only two uses for fire extinguishers; rolling-chair races and hilarious pranks. Stop messing around with that thing."
Terry, who happens to be nearby the conversation, butts in. "Really, Diaz? Those are the only two uses you can think of for a fire extinguisher? How 'bout putting out fires?"
Rosa ignores Terry's comment and raises a fist to Jake's face. "If you dent my desk, I swear you'll never be able to move your entire body at all ever again."
Jake laughs a childish laugh. "Looks like someone's got the gwumpies today!"
Rosa closes her eyes. "Jake, if you use that voice one more time…"
"You'll make sure I'll never be able to move my body ever again, I know, I know!" Jake interrupts. "Come on Rosa, why are you in such a bad mood? Don't you know what tonight is?" He starts making exaggerated gestures as he speaks. "It's the annual office party! Probably the raddest day out of the whole year, aside from Halloween and the one day each year my dad actually talks to me over the phone!"
"The what now?" Rosa asks.
"The annual office party? It happens every year," Jake explains.
"Never heard of it," Rosa says, turning back to her paperwork.
"But you went last year."
"I have no recollection of that."
"Well, I remember it very well," says Jake, getting out his phone and chuckling. "I still have photos of you beating up that security guard after you caught him taking stalker photos of Gina's butt."
Rosa sighs, turning back to Jake. "Look, Peralta, I'm not a huge fan of those office parties. Everyone gets way too drunk, and drunk people that I don't know very well are dumb and annoying, and I always end up punching at least two people every year, which always ends up being the highlight of my evening because the rest of the evening sucks. Those parties just aren't my thing. Can't I be excused from it this year?"
"Nope!" Jake says in a goofy voice. "Because Holt says he'll take away the new coffee machine in the break room if every one of us doesn't go! For some reason he's really serious this year about all of us going, cause like he wants us to really know each other so we can work better together as a squad or something? I don't know, I wasn't listening to the lecture he gave me this morning. I think he's just having a bad week. Anyway, what matters is we all know that coffee machine makes the most magical coffee in the whole universe, so I'm not letting anyone get away with not going." He leans down right next to Rosa's ear. "Aaaannnyyyooonnneeee!" he whispers loudly.
Rosa frowns and shoves Jake's face away. "Don't ever do that again." She looks back down at her desk. "But you're right. That new coffee maker is damn good." She hesitates, then rolls her eyes, then looks at Jake again. "Alright fine. I'll go. Nerd."
Jake pumps his fist in the air. "Yes! Victory!" He skips away with glee.
Rosa chuckles and returns back to work.
Even though Amy Santiago loved her new job working at the nine-nine (it sure as hell beat her old job), she wasn't having a good day. She had started working at the nine-nine just a week ago, and even though she didn't know anyone very well yet, her week had been very productive and she had enjoyed it.
But today? Not so much. She spilled tea all over her new purple shirt before coming to work. She thought she was coming close to solving an important case, but her lead backfired and she ended up getting even more stuck than before. And to top it all off, Jake's fire extinguisher stunt got that white goo all over her paperwork she needed to fill out and she had to reprint everything.
Oh, and tonight's the annual office party, too, Amy thinks angrily as she walks out of the office to her car. Great. I hate wild parties. I don't even know anyone in this precinct yet. I'll have to deal with drunk maniacs hitting on me all night and you KNOW some wild party girl is going to be throwing up everywhere by the end of it. I have a feeling that's gonna be the captain's sassy assistant, Gina Linetti. If she asks me to hold back her hair, I am saying NO. No way am I getting thrown up on. Again.
Amy hears footsteps and someone calling her name from behind. It's Jake Peralta. She turns and smiles, trying her best to not look exhausted from the awful day she's been having. "Hey, Jake. Is something wrong?"
"Aren't you staying to help us set up the office for the party tonight?" Jake asks. "Rosa's already bailed on helping us, and Gina agreed to stay but she's extremely unhelpful. I asked her, 'Can you help put up streamers?' and she said, 'Unless there's an app for that, then no.' We could really use some extra help."
Amy sighs. "Jake, I'd love to stay and help you decorate, but I've had like the worst day ever and I gotta go home and nap. Freshen up for tonight."
Jake frowns, then nods. "Ok. Alright. That's fine. I'm gonna die but it's fine."
Amy laughs. "That's a bit over-dramatic, don't you think? Besides, who really cares if the office is decorated all that much? I'd be worrying more about food and alcohol and stuff. Organizing stuff like that takes me forever because I always need everything to go perfectly…"
"No way man, Charles and I vowed to make this the best office party ever! The decorations have to be perfect."
Amy laughs awkwardly again. "Okay, well, good luck! I'll see you tonight."
"Have a good nappy!" Jake yells as he runs away, back towards the office building.
She scoffs, then chuckles. "What a weirdo."
Before she can get in her car there's a sound behind her. More footsteps. Amy turns around, thinking Jake may have come back. But instead, she sees Rosa Diaz across the parking lot getting her sleek black motorcycle ready to ride. She senses Amy looking at her and turns her head. Amy, in a panic, tries to look away, then realizes she's too late and decides to give her a small wave instead.
Rosa, with a barely-there smile, shoots her a head nod, mounts her motorcycle, puts on her helmet and drives off.
Damn, thinks Amy. That woman is downright terrifying. But also... intriguing. Like, is she super dark and mysterious with a tortured past or is she badass just 'cause? Who knows.
Rosa arrives at the party wearing her usual all-black-everything (aside from her dark red shirt) including even more black eye makeup than usual. After she parks her motorcycle and makes her way into the office building, she almost bursts out laughing when the elevator doors open and sees the way the place is decorated. The whole thing looks like a child set it up in mere minutes. There's poorly hung red streamers and confetti everywhere with one huge sign hanging from the ceiling that says 'Happy Birthday Dorf'.
Dorf? Rosa thinks with amusement. This is already too good.
Nevertheless, the turnout is looking quite good already and Rosa is pretty impressed. She finds Jake next to the drinks table and taps him on the shoulder.
"Dude, what is up with the decorations?" She says while chuckling. "They look stupid."
Jake looks taken aback. "I'll have you know that it took Charles and I two hours to figure out how to open the box of streamers!" he says in a fake defensive voice. "We worked very hard!"
Rosa laughs and looks up at the sign. "'Happy Birthday Dorf'? Who the hell is Dorf and where is he so I can endlessly make fun of him for having the dumbest name ever? 'Detective Dorf'. HA! That's never gonna get old."
Jake rolls his eyes. "No, no, you got it all wrong. I made the mistake of assigning sign duty to Scully and Hitchcock. Charles and I sent the party store a design we made. They came back with the wrong sign and said that there was a mix-up at the party store. But I bet it was all Scully and Hitchcock's fault because they are actual walking cinnamon rolls. Anyway, I guess now some kid named Dorf has a sign hanging up at his birthday party that says 'Wicked Awesome Cool Annual Office Party Bonanza Extravaganza: NO LOSERS ALLOWED OR YOU WILL GET CREAMED, SON! Sign made by Jake and Charles, peace out.'"
"Ha! Scully and Hitchcock are dumdums," Rosa says, not entirely listening to whatever Jake was just saying.
Jake yells "True that!" and pours beer into a red solo cup. "Want one?"
Rosa nods and accepts the cup, walking away. "See you later, Dorf."
There's something about Detective Diaz that makes Amy feel... weird. She's never even had a proper conversation with the woman and yet every time she even catches a glimpse of her, it's like her whole body tenses and her stomach drops. So when Amy walks into the party and almost immediately spots Rosa, her stomach churns once again.
She's wearing the usual badass outfit; black leather on various other black materials with only the smallest splash of dark red coming from her shirt, which somehow perfectly matches the red solo cup she's holding. And, God, that eyeliner… Amy feels like she's going to go into cardiac arrest someday because of it. Rosa is leaning against the wall, one leg up, glaring at anyone who gets near her, which almost no one does because everyone who has worked at the 99 longer than a couple days knows well enough to stay away from Rosa Diaz at basically all times, unless you want to get your arm fractured in a matter of seconds. Yet, something about her is just so inviting to Amy…
Maybe (and Amy has never admitted it out loud) it's because she's kind of always been attracted to danger, darkness, and mystery.
I mean, for God's sakes, that's why she became a detective. So, really, it can't be that big of a secret, right? Sure, it was also because she loves solving puzzles and helping people, but this was a big part of it too. So why has she tried to keep it hidden for so long? Is she ashamed? Is she scared?
Amy's stomach flutters a little when Rosa bites down on her lower lip, chewing on it mindlessly. She reaches into her leather jacket pocket and pulls out some lip balm, generously applying it to her lips.
Get it together, Santiago, Amy thinks shakily, turning and walking towards the largest crowd of people. Let's just socialize, get a drink, and get out of here without admitting that you have an insanely huge crush on one of your co-workers.
Later on in the evening, Rosa is a little more tipsy than she intended to be, but thankfully not drunk enough to feel totally incoherent. She's at a perfect spot and she intends to maintain it for the rest of the night, not getting more or less drunk than she is right now.
"Rrrrrrrosaaaa!" Jake yells, heavily rolling the 'r' at the beginning of her name as he comes walking up to her, swaying just a bit. "Whatcha doin' girl?"
Rosa shrugs, pushing herself off the wall she was casually leaning on. "Just been hangin' here all night, giving the death glare to anyone who tries to chat with me. You?"
"Honestly? I was just about to seduce the HECK out of that hot new detective over there," Jake says, looking sly. "She seems super awesome. And, guess what? I'm super awesome too! It'll be a breeze."
Rosa laughs. "You're gonna seduce Detective Santiago? Good luck. You have the sex appeal of a fuzzy little rabbit. No way could you get her digits."
Jake's eyes widen as well as his grin. He looks like a crazed maniac. "Do I detect the beginnings of a challenge? Nay, not a challenge- A bet?"
Rosa shrugs. "Sure. Why not. I'm confident enough to involve some money. I bet you 30 bucks you can't get Santiago's phone number."
"Ha! Jokes on you because I'm totally gonna get her number and you're totally gonna have to pay me 30 bucks," Jake says confidently. "This dream machine right here is gonna prove you so wrong!"
"No you won't. You suck, so I'm right."
"We shall see about that!" Jake says in his booming, dramatic voice. He scampers off into the crowd, hurtling towards Amy.
Rosa laughs. She can already hear Jake making a total fool of himself. "Oh, man. This is gonna be so funny."
Amy sits at the table of drinks, contemplating whether or not she should just slip out and leave this lame office party or not. It's not like she's made any work friends yet; she's only been working at the 99 for a week now and, well, let's just say her social skills aren't the best. Sighing, she starts running her index finger around the rim of her solo cup and thinking of the best escape plan so Jake won't notice.
Woah. Speaking of Jake... Is that him drunkenly barreling towards me right now?
Jake is running towards Amy and is barely able to stop himself in front of her. "Amy Santiago!" Jake shouts a little too loudly. "Hey! Haha! Funny running into you on this fine evening! What's up?"
"Uhh… nothing much!" Amy says. "How… how are you, Peralta?"
"I'm doin' pretty okay!" he says with a stupidly giant grin on his face. He takes a seat next to Amy, almost falling off the chair in the process. "How's the 99 been treating you?"
"Good, I guess," Amy says. "I don't know how much the other detectives like me, though. Despite my efforts I haven't had much luck with acquainting myself with them."
"Hehe. 'Acquainting.' That's a fancy word," Jake giggles. "Words are fancy when they have a 'c,' a 'q,' and a 'u' all smooshed up right next to each other."
Amy laughs awkwardly. "Uh, yeah, I guess…"
"No, but what I really wanted to say was that don't even worry about that, Amy! Everyone loves you here! You just gotta relax, dude! Nobody around here takes their job seriously!"
Amy frowns. "That's very concerning. We're detectives. You should take your jobs seriously."
"Ahhhh you know what I mean!" Jake laughs. "So like, hey, I was wondering, wanna go out sometime? Give me your number, I'll give you a call! We could, like, hang out and eat hamburgers and watch Die Hard at my place!"
Oh God. Did he really just ask me that?
"Oh, Jake, that's really… sweet… but, uh, you're incredibly drunk right now and I don't think you're really in a mental state to be asking me something like that…"
"Nahhh I'm fine, Amy! Really!" Jake says, taking a large gulp of his beer. He grins at her all lopsided. "So, what do you say?"
Amy hesitates. She doesn't want to hurt his feelings. He really is a sweet guy. But…
"Jake, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to say no. For now. I'd still love to be friends! Thanks for the offer though."
"No problem girl! Byeee!" Jake says as he prances off the way he came quicker than Amy can process his words.
Amy laughs. "Wow. He's not going to remember anything tomorrow morning."
Jake returns after approximately 5 minutes, looking proud of himself. "Oh! Hello there, Detective Diaz. Lovely party we're having, aren't we? Yes, it's quite the lovely party for proving you wrong!"
Rosa cocks an eyebrow. "Wait, you actually got her number?"
"Nope no I did not I failed miserably, you win and I suck," Jake says immediately, slumping over and handing her $30.
"Haha!" Rosa laughs loudly, putting the money in her pocket. "I knew it. She's way too hot and out of your league."
"Oh yeah?" Jake says confidently, straightening his posture and turning towards Rosa. "Well, another 30 bucks says that you can't get her phone number, either! I wanna win back that money. I was gonna buy comic books with it…"
"You're on," Rosa smirks. "You just wasted another 30 bucks, dumb dumb. Looks like I'm buying myself a nice new pair of motorcycle gloves." She tousles her hair and smudges her eyeliner a bit. "How do I look?"
Jake's face has gone pale. "Like I'm about to lose another 30 bucks…"
"Perfect." She winks at Jake and begins walking. "I'll be back."
"Curse you, bewitching goddess of darkness!" Jake calls out after her with his fist up in the air.
Amy feels kind of sad; none of her coworkers have really made an effort to socialize with her all night, except for Jake and a very drunk Hitchcock trying to show her how fast he can eat a bag of Takis, which was…. disturbing. Granted she hadn't made much effort to socialize with any of them either but…..
Oh who are you kidding, Amy? she thinks to herself. You need to put yourself out there! People aren't just gonna come to you! You gotta go to them! You can do this!
Amy, feeling much more confident than before, starts to push off the wall she was leaning against when she notices that Rosa Diaz is currently walking confidently up next to her. Amy's stomach drops a bit, but she pulls herself together with her newfound confidence.
Rosa pours herself a drink and takes a sip. She side-glances Amy, then fully turns, acknowledging her presence, which Amy can hardly believe.
"Santiago, right?"
Amy's whole body does an internal kickflip. "Uh, yeah! You can call me Amy. And you're Rosa Diaz."
Rosa gives her a half smirk, putting her drink down. "I am."
"I-I really admire the detective work you do," Amy says nervously. "It couldn't have been easy catching the Steel Jaw killer. I heard he was one of the scariest killers to catch in all of the 99th precinct's history. That case is, like, famous among cops."
Rosa shrugs, looking flattered. "Once I figured out his jaw wasn't even made of real steel and that was just his nickname he didn't seem very intimidating."
Amy scoffs. "He killed 7 people by placing metal clamps around their skulls and crushing them to death! That seems pretty intimidating to me."
"Eh. He was unoriginal. He was all scare and no strategizing. Once I got into his head it was pretty easy to catch him."
Amy laughs. "God, you're cool." She realizes that she had just said that outloud and blushes. She feels a bit nervous so she shyly tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
Rosa smiles slowly at her. She takes another sip of her drink, not breaking eye contact. When she finishes, she effortlessly crumples up the cup and throws it into the trashcan 5ft away. She then takes out her phone and hands it to Amy.
"Give me your number," she says. "We should hang out sometime. I used to think you were uptight and weird but now you actually seem pretty chill."
"Uh, thanks, I guess?" Amy chuckles, trying to act cool. But her whole body is on fire. She feels like she just won the lottery. She types in her phone number and labels the contact as Amy with a little pink heart afterwards, but then quickly changes her mind and deletes the heart, thinking Rosa might find it stupid or weird. She hands back her phone and smiles.
Rosa looks at her phone and raises her eyebrow. "Pink heart?"
Amy reddens. Shit. I guess I accidentally didn't delete the heart.
"That's cute," Rosa says. "See you around, Amy." And then she left just as quickly as she came.
Amy almost felt out of breath. She wasn't sure if that had really just happened. And maybe she was just hallucinating it but she swore she could hear Jake yelling "NOOOOOOO!" somewhere in the distance over the loud music.
