Author's Note: First fic posted up here. I feel special :3. Well… not really. Kinda scared, actually. Short and kind of angst-ridden one-shot, about Zax and Cloud's 'first time' together. Words and such in italics are thoughts. Enjoy! Reviews would be nice and sparkly.


Cool Change

It had been a lazy kind of day, lazy kind of week, really, with the hot sun of mid-summer beating down relentlessly through the thick, rolling clouds of smog that seemed to envelope and suffocate the sky above Midgar at every time of the day, never thinning unless a strong wind threatened them, and even then, they were quickly replaced. They blocked the heat in and kept the breeze out and sometimes it could be so very suffocating…

It was cool now, though. The weatherman, everyone's favourite weatherman on Channel 8, the one with the strip of grey through his otherwise jet-black hair and the amiable face that was never seen without a pair of thin blue-rimmed glasses, had said this would happen, and most likely a couple of million sighs of relief had been breathed throughout Midgar, especially those that lived beneath the plate. 'Oh thank the fucking Gods' most of the citizens were probably thinking, as they opens their shutters and windows and doors and let the cool air hit them.

Zax didn't know what it was that had urged him into consciousness, the sleep that fogged his mind only allowed him to feel the soft breeze against his bare chest and legs, the rest of him curled beneath a crumpled and tangled thin white sheet. He shifted about lazily, then quite suddenly, froze. Eyes which had still been pressed closed forced themselves open, and he was quick to attain a sense of urgency to focus his hearing. It wasn't…

Oh Gods, he was crying.

Soundlessly, the raven pushed himself up against the bed, the sheet only slightly disturbed as azure, softly glowing pools of eyes came to rest on him. The naked and slender figure bathed in moonlight shining warmly through the tall windows, perched upon the other side of the bed, thin hands by his sides and balled around the sheets, clutching at them in a trembling little fit, the lightly billowing, thin material of the pale curtains just reaching the bedside and brushing over his tense knuckles. Head dropped and shoulder hunched, shaking ever so slightly along with his soft and gasped breaths. The slight sobbing that was so quiet, it wouldn't have woken any normal person.

Oh no.

For once, the soldier didn't know what to do. His hand rose but then it hesitated, as though with a mind of his own, and dropped again slowly. His lips parted to speak, to call the boy's name with it's usual gentleness, but his vocal cords refused to respond, as hesitant as his hand had been.

Zax knew it was his fault Cloud was in tears, and his guilty conscience refused to let him comfort him.

"Idiot,"

Zax raised his head, snapping to attention. The word was barely muttered. He watched Cloud raise a hand and thread it into his long, spiked bangs, tugging anxiously at them. "Idiot, idiot, idiot…" he scolded himself.

And, to give the boy credit, he nearly didn't jump when Zax finally slid across the bed behind him and wrapped his honey-grown arms around the boy's shoulders, pressing his face in among the strangely soft blonde.

"… 'you should find an older girlfriend'…" Cloud murmured slowly, letting him do so without much reaction, "…'one that will take care of you'…. … that's….. what she said…"

"You're mom?" he prodded gently.

Cloud buried his face in his hands. He nodded quietly.

"… d'you… " Zax couldn't help but sigh gently. He hadn't been careful enough. Too eager. Too something.

"… d'you regret it…?"

The boy was crying again, harder, more pronounced. And quite simply, Zax didn't have the heart to ask his question over.


Author's Notes (yet again): Well! There we go! Phew.

Just a note on the words of Cloud's mother that he repeated; I'm well aware that she actually said this to him at Nibelheim, which would've been long after Zax and Cloud had known each other and been together, but I also got the impression that it was the kind of motherly line that tended to get repeated over the years (kinda like how my mum repeats over the weeks that I'm wasting my life away in front of the computer. Mrr.)

Hope you liked it!