Author's Note: Apparently I'm posting bs when I should be writing my fill for the ItaDei Challenge... oh hell... This was a prompt on Kink meme ._.'

Warnings: Uh... Crack. Or an attempt at it. Also, some swearing -lol- and apparently an orgy xD You've been warned.


Rough Mornings

an Assassin's Creed fanfiction

by Elly

When Desmond woke up, he couldn't have been more puzzled than the last time they drank to celebrate new year and had woken up almost naked and with the words "I am made of awesome" scribbled over his chest with blue body paint.

Today, he had awakened to a warm body pressed against his left... or was it his right?

"Oh shit"

With all the courage he could muster up he tried to remember the last night's events before opening his eyes and facing reality. All he could come up with was that it was Rebecca's birthday and she asked for some alcohol to celebrate... and got him a shitload of liquor and dared him to mix whatever he could, cue an overconfident Desmond smirking and preparing drinks until the four of them -he'd lured Shaun somehow, but that was also not clear yet- got really, seriously drunk. "Stupid Desmond and your stupid abilities to mix margaritas and anything with liquor on it."

He yelped when an arm snaked around his waist and stopped just a little too near certain private area...

OH SHIT

He was naked, and from the light smell of cologne and the firm and slightly-bigger-than-a-women's hand he deduced the person at his left was a man.

And then said man mumbled his name and Desmond's eyes shot open and neverminding whoever was on top of him, sat upright...

... That is, until a dull ache at his backside made him yell in surprise and terror.

FUCK NO!

"Would you be as considerate as to shut the fuck up and go back to sleep, Desmond?"

"Guys, I have an Abstergo-size headache here, mind shuttin' it for a while?"

"What...?"

Two pairs of eyes snapped open and the long-dreaded silence fell over the group sharing the same bed, covered only in blankets and a cold sweat.

Lucy covered herself, pulling the covers off of a dazed, semi-commatose Desmond, who was being half-embraced by an equally shocked Shaun, who was being crushed by an oblivious Rebecca.

"This- how? I-" The blonde woman seemed to be in some kind of breakdown, running her eyes across the room, wincing when she noticed the bundles of clothing thrown haphazardly all over the floor and furniture, the several bottles of beers and whisky, and some -dear Lord, what have we done- condoms hanging precariously at the bin's border. At least they used condoms, right?

"Lucy?" asked Shaun with a concerned voice, proceding to sigh heavily when the woman plopped unconcious on the bed. Then suddenly he felt something wet and cold rubbing on his abs, and shuddered in disgust.

"Becca! You're drooling!" He smacked said girl on the head, and she grunted and sat up groggily, "Oh for-cover yourself!" and then Shaun threw a pillow in front of her, waiting for a reaction.

He was dumbfounded when Rebecca just observed her surroundings, raised an eyebrow at Lucy's unconcious body, smirked at Shaun... and pouted at Desmond, looking like a kicked puppy when she talked again.

"You fucked Desmond~~." And Shaun's face was burning with shame because, really, he wasn't even bothered because he fucked him, but because he couldn't remember it. "You fucked Des" she repeated, and looked as if she was going to cry "and I didn't recorded it!"

And then she got up and ran out of the room crying and whining and Shaun had to quirk an eyebrow.

There was a small noise at his right and he looked just in time to be straddled by an angry-shocked Desmond pointing an acussing finger at him.

"YOU!" yelled Desmond and smacked him almost mockingly on the cheek. "You raped me!"

Well, it was technically the truth, but seeing as there was no evidence...

"Listen, Desmond. I know either of us remember fully what happened yesterday." Shaun said, and with the subtlety of a snake gazed at Desmond's body. "So, I propose we forget all this happened, all right?"

"We made a fourthsome" mumbled Desmond going back to his semi-comatose state, leaving Shaun to smirk and hold a half full bottle of vodka in front of the other.

"Maybe if we get drunk again we'll forget this happened." or we could repeat it, too.

Shaun knew then not to EVER disturb Desmond just after he woke up from a fourthsome. He acted like a virgin.

Judging by the angry red mark of a hand on his face curiously matching with Desmond's size- he learned to never get alcohol on celebrations either.

FIN


...

and then they decided to hang out every two days in a week LOL *is shot*

So there you have it guise, I'm too sleep-deprived as to actually notice grammar fails or lack of coherence, but please bear it with me and Review... at least to ask me to stop OTL