Set in an alternate universe.
Before you begin reading, please note…
This is essentially the story Staring, but from the point of view of our favorite ball of darkness, Vanitas.
You might be able to appreciate this better if you have read that other story.
I decided to write this because, well, I enjoy writing alternative point of views to my stories.
This has been half-baked for about two years, honestly, but I never got around to finishing it.
Until now.
I had so much fun tinkering around with what I thought Vanitas might be thinking and feeling!
I really hope you enjoy reading this!
This is dedicated to AnHeiressofaSOLDIER.
For being a patient and constant friend.
(I know you thought Vanitas was testing Aqua, based on your Review for Staring. Well, here's what was actually going through his head. I hope you like it.)
DISCLAIMER [I do not own Kingdom Hearts] DISCLAIMER
STARING BACK
Her ocean-deep, liquid-blue eyes.
Vanitas would never admit it but… God. She was breathtaking. Why the hell was she so breathtaking?
In his opinion, no one had a right to look that beautiful and that downright sexy and irresistible reading a book. And not just any book – a damned history book! Maybe if it were the history of something remotely sexy, it would make sense. No. We're talking A Brief History of Epidemics and Contagions in the 1900s. Holy… Mother… of…
Why the hell was she even reading such a thing?
More importantly, why the hell was Vanitas interested in a girl who would read such a thing?
He swallowed hard at a lump in his throat. "God, help me…" he muttered under his breath, both a desperate prayer and a shattering curse.
No, he wasn't normally like this. He was normally calm, cool, collected. It was only around Aqua that his composure came under threat of falling apart.
Vanitas looked down at the book in his own hands. A picture of a shark looked right back at him and he frowned. Just what was he reading? Glancing at the upper right corner of the page, he saw the title of the book. A Visual Guide to Oceanography.
He almost dropped it.
Great! Like he needed more reminders!
Reminders of her ocean-deep, liquid-blue eyes. And that she had this unique scent that made him think of fresh, spring rain. Or that he'd first met her – sort of – on a Wednesday when he happened to have come in late. And so was she. But he was taking his leisurely time, walking down the empty corridors. She was running. It must've been killing her to be so late! Ha!
He saw her turn the corner and damn. He'd known her for quite some time; they have been studying in the same school after all, but damn! How had he never noticed how stunning she looked? Maybe it was because she wasn't surrounded by admirers then and he had an unobstructed view. Or maybe it was because the sunlight coming in through the windows caught her curves in just the right places.
Or maybe it was just her curves. And the fact that she was running.
Vanitas did not even realize that he had stopped walking and was just staring at this glorious vision making a beeline for the – well, he had no idea what classroom she was rushing to, actually. The science labs, maybe?
She breezed past him, her arm brushing against his by a fraction of a millimeter and his senses were shot. He dropped his bag, which he had slung carelessly on just one shoulder. It also happened to be unzipped so his notebooks and textbooks and pencils scattered. He heard her come to a stop and then, after some hurried footsteps, she was right beside him again and picking up his things. She came around to stand in front of him, somewhat breathless, cheeks flushed.
"I'm so sorry," she apologized, holding his bag out to him.
God. Wasn't she just running for her life a second ago, and she decides to stop just to pick his stuff up for him? It wasn't even her fault that his bag had fallen. Vanitas just happened to be dumb enough to let it slip.
He stared at her. "Aqua, right?" he asked.
The pink of her cheeks deepened somewhat. "Yes…"
"Watch it next time," he said sharply, taking his bag.
That was when his keychain fell out. And he wished it had been a skull, a mini Converse shoe, an unassuming plastic ball – anything! Anything except what it actually was: a Finding Nemo keychain. Yes; a bright orange plush Nemo with a miniature pack of plastic, gummy fish candies attached to it.
God damn it!
She bent down slowly to retrieve it. She held the little Nemo for a beat longer than she should have and then presented it to him palm up. He snatched it out of her hand, embarrassed for a reason he could not fathom.
A brief look of confusion crossed her eyes, but she let it go. "I'm so sorry," she said again with an apologetic nod. And then she was off.
Vanitas turned around slowly and watched her hurry away, gripping his keychain in his fist.
He'd never felt so humiliated before in his life.
Coming back to the present and staring down at the shark printed on the page he was supposed to be reading, he groaned inwardly. He wondered if she remembered that incident. He had become more aware of her presence since then but it seemed that she, too, was suddenly more aware of him. He would catch her looking at him sometimes, smiling at him sometimes.
Does she remember?
Vanitas laughed aloud, more to disperse his own feelings of unease than because he'd actually thought of something funny.
He stole a glance up at her and wished he hadn't. She had been strikingly beautiful that day they were both late but she somehow managed to become even more so lately. It drove him insane! Her hair had been cut to a length that perfectly showed off her neck and accentuated the shape of her face. Her lips were a soft, shimmery pink from a new lip gloss she'd been using. Her nails – wait, what? When did she start polishing her nails?
Vanitas tightened his grip on his book. She was obviously interested in someone else and was trying to get the attention of whoever the lucky idiot was. It could be that no-brain star athlete, the one she spent afternoons in the library with. Or was it the class heartthrob, her lab partner? Vanitas knew for a fact that Aqua looked forward to her science classes most. It made sense.
He hated the thought that someone might get ahead of him and steal her away. He hated the idea that she was crushing on some moron in school who made her feel like she ever had to change anything about herself. Not that he disliked her sexy new hairstyle or her deliciously shiny lips that he imagined – or hoped – tasted like cherries. But God… Did she not know how lovely she was?
Vanitas gritted his teeth. He knew he should say something, try to talk to her. He would get nowhere if he didn't. Tell her how you feel, damn it! He made up his mind.
"You know what? Study hall is a waste of time."
What the hell just came out of his mouth? What. The. Hell.
But Aqua had already looked up from her book, her blue eyes right on his and Vanitas had no choice but to go on. "They should just scratch this right off our schedules and dismiss us an hour early every day."
Idiot, Vanitas scolded himself. Tell her how you feel about her, not this!
He kept his expression as steady as he could but already he was feeling as if he had made a mistake. She seemed not to understand why he was speaking to her. She turned to the empty seat on her right and then to the seat on her left where a girl was dozing like an idiot.
Then she looked back at Vanitas.
He raised his eyebrow a fraction of an inch up, asking all the powers that be to please, please, please make her say something. Anything.
Aqua stayed silent.
He could almost hear the thoughts that must have been running through her mind: Just who is this guy? What makes him think he can talk to me? What makes him think he can talk at all? We're supposed to be reading, quietly, and then he has the nerve to just suddenly open his mouth? As if I would be interested in what he has to say.
It tore at him.
Vanitas fought to keep his emotions in check, letting his face fall into a default, blank expression. He got up from his seat. Fine, if that's how it is. So she was too good for him, huh? Well, to hell with her! Let class heartthrob run his fingers through her soft, silken hair. Let star athlete be the one to find out how sweet her lips are. Vanitas didn't care. Not one damned bit. He didn't like her perfectly trimmed, impeccably polished nails anyway.
He got to the shelves where he'd taken his book from and slipped A Visual Guide to Oceanography into an empty slot. He'd had about enough of anything ocean-themed, ocean-blue.
Then his heart lurched. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her standing at the end of the aisle, watching him. He held his breath, did his best to appear nonchalant.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"I disagree."
How she managed to make such an ordinary pair of words sound so damned good was beyond him. It almost made him smile. Almost. "Disagree with what?"
"I disagree with you," she said, with a slight frown that looked amazingly gorgeous. "I think study hall is anything but a waste of time. It was made for students like you, who would spend this one hour doing pointless things if you weren't required to spend it in the library, reading a book."
Vanitas had no idea that it was possible to like her even more than he already did, especially after she had basically just insulted him. Or maybe that was why. He could taste the fire in her words and he loved it.
Having said her piece, she looked away from him and slid her own book into the shelf. Apparently, she'd had enough of epidemics and contagions. Good riddance.
That was when Vanitas noticed it again; the gloss of her polished nails. Hardly thinking, he stepped up to her and grabbed her hand in his. He felt that frustration, that annoyance that she was doing all these little things to herself to get the attention of some idiot who most certainly did not deserve her. He ran his nail along hers, scratching the surface.
"Hmm. I liked them better without," he said.
And then he walked away, a new book under his arm.
He felt so high! So ecstatic! So… stupid! So damned stupid!
Vanitas only realized how idiotic his actions were when he'd gotten back to his seat. What the hell had he just done? And after she finally speaks to him!
He sat restlessly, pretending to read, but failing to even pretend. When Aqua had returned and sat in front of him, he felt terribly anxious and impatient. Especially when he noticed that she kept her hands on her lap, her fingers probably running along the scratch he'd made.
He was such an idiot!
He was just congratulating himself on his carelessness and stupidity when Aqua did something that made his heart stop, his breath catch. Vanitas had to stare to be sure. Because, seriously, she couldn't be. Why would she be? It made no sense. He felt as if someone had just jumpstarted his confidence, fueled the fire in his chest, and placed him on the top of the world.
All because, impossibly, Aqua was smiling.
END
Thank You
~Alacquiene~
