Title: The Captain's Very Bad Day.
Rating: T
Warnings: Mostly just swearing
Spoilers: Some of the movie obviously.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Disney, the company that controls Tangled. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended
Author Notes: These are going to be a series of one-shots. I have some ideas of my own but I don't mind also trying my hand at taking in ideas of others. I likely won't write smut though, mostly because I don't feel I can do it in the manner that I would like. I'm very picky about that. Anyway, this is my take on how Eugene and Rapunzel managed to get their meeting with the King and Queen without Eugene getting arrested.
Captain Hektor of the Royal Coronan Guards was having a very bad day. If fact, he was having a very bad couple of days. Or maybe a bad couple of weeks. Or years. He wasn't really sure any more. All he knew was that the last three days had been so incredibly frustrating that it was any wonder that he hadn't ripped his moustache off by now.
And it was all Flynn Rider's fault.
It all started when the damn thief managed to infiltrate the Royal Palace and steal the Crown of the Lost Princess right from under the noses of his men. That was bad enough, but then, while chasing the bastard through the forest, Rider had managed to knock him off his horse. Hektor had lost track of both Maximus and Rider for a while, their tracks disappearing over a cliff. Losing a good horse like that was yet another mark against the thief. And when they had gotten the first clue about Rider's whereabouts in hours (from one of the Snuggly Duckling regulars no less), he and his men arrived only to find that they were being had by the rest of the godforsaken thugs there.
Thankfully Maximus had shown up to locate the secret tunnel behind the bar of the pub.
It still rankled, however, that Rider and his female accomplice had slipped through their fingers again at the old Morenci Mine Dam. Hektor really had thought they had managed to corner the two there. When the blonde girl had swung (by her hair, he had been shocked to realise) from one ledge to another, the Captain had written it off as the old saying of 'no honour among thieves'. He hadn't been all that concerned about catching her anyway. But just when he thought he would finally get his chance to take down the kingdom's most notorious thief, that son of a bitch managed to knock him out while armed with only a frying pan!A FRYING PAN of all bloody things! And if that wasn't humiliating enough, three more of his men had been taken out the same way. Plus he was positive that Rider had somehow been responsible for the dam collapsing and flooding the mine, nearly drowning him and his men in the process.
He had fervently prayed that the thief had done him the favour of drowning. The idea that he had was the only thing that cheered Captain Hektor up as he and his men trudged back to the capital on foot.
Apparently it was too much to hope for though, since all the next day during the Remembrance Festival, he kept getting reports of Rider sightings. The thief still seemed to be in the company of the blonde girl and for some reason a horse matching Maximus' description was also seen with them. Yet every time men were sent to investigate, nothing was ever found. Hektor could not understand why it was so hard to capture one fucking thief! But finally (FINALLY!) they caught a break. Flynn Rider had been found and captured. Captain Hektor didn't even question why he had been found tied up to a boat nor who had done it (though he did wonder if it was the girl and if so why since the Crown had also been found in Rider's hand).
And for one night, everything was right in the world. The Crown of the Lost Princess had been returned and Flynn Rider was in prison awaiting his execution in the morning. It was a moment of pure bliss for Captain Hektor.
And then that moment ended.
If he had known what was going to happen, the Captain might have chosen to not be the one to escort Rider to the gallows the next morning. At least that way he could have avoided the shame of being knocked out, yet again, with a frying pan as the Snuggly Duckling thugs broke the thief out of prison. When he had questioned the thugs that had been captured after Rider's escape, none of them could give him a straight answer as to why they had done so. The only fact they could agree upon was that Maximus (HIS OWN HORSE!) had been the one to convince them to do it.
"God damn it, I could use a drink." Hektor muttered to himself as he walked through the halls of the Guard barracks to his office. It was late afternoon now and still no sign of Rider or Maximus. He had just come from reporting to the King and Queen his failure to prevent the thief's escape. Neither of his monarchs had seemed all that upset about it, only relieved to have their daughter's crown back. The King had even told him to not bother with sending out search parties, something that Hektor had done anyway.
He was not going to let Rider get away quite so easily.
Just then the Captain could hear a loud commotion coming through the windows facing the main gates to the castle complex. Wondering what the hell was going on, Hektor ran back through the halls to the door of the barracks that faced the main courtyard of the palace. What he saw stopped him dead in his tracks.
There in the courtyard, just inside the gates was Maximus. The horse was rearing and flailing his hooves at any guard that tried to come near. And on his back was none other than Flynn Rider, one arm around the waist of the brown-haired girl sitting side-saddle in front of him while his other hand clutched the front of Maximus' saddle. The girl, one of Rider's light-skirts Hektor assumed (the man had a trail of them), had her arms wrapped around the thief in an effort to stay on the back of the bucking horse. And to make the scene even more bizarre was the fact Maximus, instead of attempting to throw off the criminal like the properly trained horse that he was, actually seemed to be protecting his passengers from the dozen or so guards surrounding them.
"WHAT IN ALL HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" the Captain bellowed. He barrelled down the steps of the barracks and into the fray. Before anyone could move, he grabbed the reins dangling from Maximus' bridle with both hands and pulled, forcing the horse back onto all fours again. Later, Hektor would wonder where his brain had been at that moment. He knew it was incredibly dangerous to get that close to a horse's flailing hooves. He was lucky that Maximus hadn't kicked him in the head. Maybe it was because the other previous blows (from all the frying pans) had knocked all common sense out of him.
There was dead silence in the courtyard. No one appeared to want to move. Not his men and certainly not the two on the back of the white horse. That was all right. Captain Hektor had had more than enough of all this nonsense.
He released one hand from the reins to point a finger up at Rider. "You are under arrest for crimes against the Crown!" He turned his head slightly to give orders over his shoulder. As he did so, he caught the look of resignation on the thief's face and the one of shock and worry on the girl's. Smugness filled the Captain. The thief had been a complete idiot to come back especially so openly and to the palace no less. Hektor looked to the men closest to him and then back at the soon to be prisoners; he was already turning his attention to his orders so he never saw the way Maximus' eyes widened then narrowed. "You lot, seize this ma…"
The order was cut off abruptly as Maximus sneezed suddenly right into Captain Hektor's face. Wetly.
There was another one of those moments of silence as the Captain dropped his grip on Maximus' reins, coughing and gagging as he wiped off the slimy horse snot. The sound of muffled sniggering made his head snap up again to glare at Rider and his companions.
"That was brilliant, Max." Hektor hear Rider say in a muffled tone. The thief had his head bowed and face against the girl's shoulder, but the Captain could tell by the way his shoulders were shaking that he was laughing at what had just happened. The girl had both of her hands covering the smile on her lips as well. There was a lizard of some sort perched on the horse's head openly grinning and even Maximus looked amused.
Captain Hektor saw red. He felt his eye twitch and he pursed his lips so hard that it made his moustache bristle. This thief, this goddamn son of a bitch thief, was LAUGHING at him! He was going to personally see Rider hang for this! He would see them all hang!
The girl was the first to get control of herself. Perhaps she had seen the look of pure rage on the Captain's face. She dropped her hands and her smile changed from laughter to just a simple earnest one. "Excuse me," she said politely, "but we would like to see the King and Queen, please."
The Captain gave her the barest once over. She had short choppy brown hair, green eyes, and wore a simple purple dress that was too short to cover her bare feet. She was probably just some girl Rider had picked up somewhere. Vaguely Hektor wondered what had happened to the blonde girl the thief had been seen with the previous two days. There was something very familiar about this one that he couldn't quite place so he dismissed the feeling instantly. "And why would their Majesties need to see a thief and a chit like you?"
For a second, Captain Hektor almost regretted his choice of words as not only did Maximus and the lizard glare at him, but Rider's head shot up to glare as well. He saw the girl put a hand on the thief's arm that had tightened around her waist as if to calm the man. She took a deep breath before speaking in a firm carrying voice. "Because my name is Rapunzel. And I am the Lost Princess."
He stared at the pair for a moment before giving a bark of derisive laughter. "Nice try, girl. What sort of proof do you have?" Behind the Captain, he could hear his men muttering to each other.
"What are you? Stupid? What more proof do you need, Captain." Rider sneered, turning Hektor's rank into an insult. The thief's expression had turned to a mocking one. "Honestly, do you think I would willingly come back here, putting my neck right back in the noose, if we weren't positive that she's the Lost Princess? I may be a thief, but I'm not a dumbass." The words like you hung silently in the air.
Captain Hektor was about to sneer back when one of the other men stepped forward. It was Lieutenant Conner, that day's Watch commander. "Sir? Captain, sir?" Conner hesitated. He flinched as his Captain turned the glare he had been shooting at Rider on him.
"What?!" Hektor snapped when the Lieutenant paused for too long. Conner gulped before continuing.
"Sir, maybe we should listen to them. They could be telling the truth." At the incredulous look he was receiving, the younger man continued on gamely. "As much as I hate to admit it, Rider does kinda have a point… Sir." He added onto the end almost like an afterthought.
"Thank you!" Rider said, flinging one hand in Lieutenant Conner's direction. "Finally! A human guard that actually has a brain and not his head up his ass."
Hektor glared back at the thief and saw the girl, this Rapunzel person, nudge Rider with her elbow. It was only because the Captain was standing so close that he was able to hear her whispered admonishment to the thief. "Eugene, I don't think that's really helping."
Eugene? The Captain wondered absently, raising an eyebrow. Who the hell is Eugene? If that was Rider's real name, then no wonder the man had changed it.
"Oh come on, Blondie." Rider whispered back. The nickname further confused Hektor as this girl was anything but blonde. "Even Max and the frog are smarter than any of these guys." He said the last part a loud enough for all to hear, smirking down at the guards. The lizard turned around on Maximus' head to glare at the thief for the frog remark.
Hektor wasn't about to comply with their request just yet, however. There was one glaring detail that Rider and Rapunzel had obviously no taken into account. The Princess had been born with blonde hair. This girl, as he had already made note of, had brown. He crossed his arms as he looked up at the pair with narrowed eyes. "If you are the Lost Princess, how do you explain the fact you do not have blonde hair?" The Captain could help the condescending tone in his voice.
Neither of them seemed taken aback by the question. In fact they looked like they had been expecting it. "I had blonde hair before, if you recall Captain." Rapunzel responded. At his suspicious look she clarified. "It would have been hard for you to miss it, when you cornered us at the dam. But Eugene cut it to save me from - the woman - that held me captive. And it turned brown, as you can see."
Okay, so they had taken that into account he thought irritably. The explanation sounded completely outlandish, but then again if this was the same girl as the blonde, the 70 feet of hair she had been sporting was just as strange. Again that feeling of familiarity about Rapunzel hit him; maybe that was where he recognized her from. The Captain could suddenly feel a headache coming on and again the desire for a drink came over him. Conner was right. Flynn Rider was many things but willingly getting himself caught was not one of them. Plus, he had the suspicion that if he didn't comply with their request to see the King and Queen, he would end up with another face full of horse snot, curtesy of Maximus.
"Fine!" Hektor ground out between clenched teeth. "Conner, inform their Majesties. I will escort… these two… to the Great Balcony to await them. The rest of you, return to your posts!" He glared around at the other watching guards. They quickly dispersed as Conner ran towards the palace. Captain Hektor turned on his heel and stalked off in the direction of the Balcony. Hoof beats behind him indicated that Maximus was following with his passengers.
As he lead the pair off, Captain Hektor could hear a whispered conversation between girl and thief. He tried to make it seem he wasn't listening in, but still strained his ears to catch each word.
"You excited, Blondie?" Rider had asked. There was a long pause before Rapunzel answered.
"No, I'm terrified." There was the barest hint of a tremor in the girl's voice. "What if they don't believe us? What if they think we're lying? What… what if they don't like me?" The last question was said so softly that Hektor almost didn't catch it.
"What? Don't be ridiculous. I seriously doubt there is a person out there who would not like you. We proved that over and over again the last couple of days." There was a light-hearted chuckle in the thief's voice. As he spoke the next words, they sounded more like he was reciting lines of a play than anything else, yet they also rang true. "Besides, your parents have spent eighteen years looking out windows waiting for this moment, dreaming about the day you would come home to them. And deep down, you have been too."
Hektor was tempted to look back to see how Rapunzel had reacted to those words. The girl spoke again; the worry in her voice had not been waylaid however. "What if they take you away from me, though? What if they…" she cut off that question quickly, as if she couldn't bring herself to say the words hang you. Her worried tone thickened as sobs chocked her voice. "I can't lose you again, Eugene!"
There was another long pause. This time the captain did glance back, turning his head only enough to see the pair out of the corner of his eye. For some reason, he didn't want to make it obvious that he was eavesdropping on their conversation. Rapunzel had her face buried against Flynn Rider's chest and her arms wrapped tightly around him. The thief was not even bothering to hold Maximus' reins, but was instead holding the girl as tightly, his eyes closed for a moment as he rested his cheek on the top of her head. There was something about that desperate embrace that tugged at something deep inside Captain Hektor's chest. He quickly looked away again.
Just in time he supposed, since that was the same time that Rider spoke again. His voice was low and a little hoarse "I… I can't promise nothing bad will happen, Rapunzel. You and I both know that. We just have to put our trust in Fate and hope that everything turns out. But no matter what happens to me, I want you to know I will always be at your side. Even if I can't physically be there. I promise." The thief's tone was so solemn as he said those last two words that they almost took on a new meaning. Then the light-hearted tone was back. "I'll haunt the shit out of you if I have to." That at least got a weak giggle from the girl. Rider continued once more. "I meant what I said. I love you. You are my new dream."
"And you are mine." Rapunzel replied back in a soft whisper.
They reached the stairs that lead up to the Great Balcony. Hektor spun on his heel, schooling his face into as neutral expression so he could to keep any sign that he had been listening in on their conversation hidden. He folded his arms across his chest and jerked his chin in the direction of the stairs. "You can wait for their Majesties up there."
Rider swung a leg over Maximus' rump and dropped to the ground. The thief then turned to help his companion down as well. As he raised his arms to lift Rapunzel off the horse's back, Hektor suddenly noticed a large rusty brown stain along his right side as well as a small tear (no, a cut or slash) in the thief's blue jerkin that was at one edge of the stain. He recognized that colour. It was the colour of dried blood. Yet neither Rider nor the girl seemed concerned about it. So then whose blood was it? Then the girl's words from just a few moments ago came back to him.
I can't lose you again, Eugene.
Hektor frowned deeply as he tried to force the evidence he had seen and overheard to fit into some kind of pattern that made sense. Rider had not been injured last night when he had been arrested, nor when he had escaped. Now here he was with signs of a serious injury and yet wasn't acting at all like he had one. Rapunzel said she couldn't lose him again. What exactly did that mean?
Rapunzel saw his frown and must have mistaken it to mean something else. Instantly she wrapped her arms tightly around one of Rider's arms, lifting her chin to stare at the Captain defiantly. Her expression spoke louder than any words could have. You will NOT separate us. There was such determination in those large green eyes that Hektor suddenly realized why she looked so familiar. It wasn't just because he had seen her before as the blonde girl. He knew that look she was giving him. He had seen it many times before.
From the Queen when she was in a similar mood.
Except for the length of hair, Rapunzel looked exactly like the Queen.
The shock of that realization made Hektor blink, the frown slowly fading from his face. It actually took everything in him to keep his jaw from unhinging. He stared back at her for a long moment before finally flicking his eyes away. When he did so, he almost got another shock when he saw the understanding and sympathetic look on Rider's face with absolutely no trace of mocking humour.
Captain Hektor cleared his throat suddenly and jerked his head again at the stairs. "Th-their Majesties will be along shortly." Mentally he cursed himself for the stutter. The very last thing he wanted was to show any sign of weakness in front of the thief. Rider will probably hold this over him for the rest of their lives. The Captain pondered where that little thought came from as he watched the pair make their way up the stairs to the Balcony.
For some reason he just knew he wasn't going to like the outcome of the meeting between these two and the royals. Because the only outcome he could envision was one that made Flynn Rider, or whatever his real name is, a permanent resident of the palace.
Suddenly, the desire for a drink became overwhelming.
