This is a story that my friend Anna and I have written together. We are deeply indebted to Leigh who is our beta reader. Thank you.
Hugs,
Grit
Disclaimer: I don't own the angels Tess, Monica and Andrew. They all belongs
to Martha Williamson.
"Death Is My Friend"
Nancy Wittges walked toward the local hospital. The twenty-nine year old had long blond hair and blue eyes. It was here very first day as a paramedic in training and she wasn't sure what she should expect. Two years ago, she changed her job and started on a new educational path.
As she walked through the doors, approached toward the desk, then said to the man there, "Hi, I'm Nancy Wittges. I'm here to attend my practical training as a paramedic."
"Hi, I'm Mitchell. Mr. Foster is already waiting for you. You can find him in the common room. It's the second room on the left side when you walk down the hall," the man answered in a friendly manner.
Nancy smiled and thanked him before she walked toward the room. The common room wasn't very big. There was a table in the middle of the room, a refrigerator, a kitchen range, and a coffee machine. On the other side of the room was also an old couch.
There was a man standing by the coffeemaker who tried to make some coffee. He turned around when he heard that someone walked into the room.
"Hi, I'm Nancy Wittges ..." she walked toward the man and held out her hand.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Roger Foster and you must be our new trainee," he greeted her with a smile and shook her hand.
"Yes, I am!" Nancy answered a little bit nervously.
Roger Foster was about 40 years old, had short dark hair and brown eyes. "What did you do before you started this training?"
"I was a nurse."
"And why did you change?" he wanted to know.
"Well, I wanted to do something else, but I still wanted to stay somehow in this line of work. I like to help people and I wanted to work something more ... how should I say ..." she searched for the right words.
"You wanted to do something more basic?" Mr. Foster assured with a cheerful smile.
Nancy smiled back, "Yes, that hits it really close."
"Alright, I think we'll start this way: You will accompany us on our first emergency calls so that you can see what we have to do and how we do it. In two or three day you will get your own tasks to do. How does this sound to you?"
Nancy was happy with that, "It sounds like a great start to me." Before she could say anything else, they got a call about an accident and everybody hurried to the ambulances. Immediately organized pandemonium broke out. Roger grabbed Nancy's hand as he ran towards one of the ambulances.
Nancy liked fast cars, but usually when they were confined to a race-track. Now she sat beside the driver of the ambulance as he weaved the cumbersome vehicle in and out of the heavy traffic. Had she been asked right then how she felt, she would have been compelled to admit that she was so scared that she had her heart in her throat. Once on the scene of the accident her training, both as a nurse and as a paramedic kicked in. Together with Roger and the paramedics of the other ambulance she set out to assess the accident; a head-on collision. One car had one casualty - the driver, and in the other car there was a passenger besides the driver that had been injured. The other ambulance started on the couple, while Roger and Nancy got to work on the single guy.
Something made Nancy look up. There on the curb a little bit away from the accident she saw something lying. She also thought she saw a man dressed in white sitting beside the still form. Nancy shook her head. 'No, it must be a trick of the light. The sun was shining in her eyes.' When she looked again she only saw the dark shape lying there.
Roger was managing their patient all by himself, but the patient seemed worried about something. He kept saying "Brian, Brian," all the time.
Nancy stood up and walked towards the mysterious heap. She only had to take a few steps before she saw what it was and started to run. It was a small child. She cried for Roger who hurriedly came over, only to feel a pulse on the child and shake his head.
She had no time to think about what had happened on the way back to the hospital. She was caring for the patient and he needed all the attention she could give him. It was only when she and Roger relaxed with a cup of coffee in the common room that the event hit her. She had found a dead child! Had she really seen someone beside the child? And who was that person, if she had seen someone?
The rest of the day went on in the same way. There was a kid with asthma that they picked up in his school; and an old lady with a broken hip; a possible heart attack; and just before their shift was over - a shooting.
Nancy kept looking around her hoping to see the white clad man just one more time. Then at the shooting she thought she saw him again, but when she came up to the victim all she saw was the blood on the clothes and the ground.
When Nancy went to bed that night all the events of the day swirled around in her head. Had she really seen a person twice that day? Would she see him again?
And WHO was this man, if he was real?
She was tired after her first day and the only thing she wanted right now was some peaceful sleep. But almost the whole last day was repeated in her dreams. She was back at the location of the accident and the shooting. In her dreams, she saw this strange man again and this time she could hear that he talked to the little boy from the accident. She could see his face more clearly in her dreams. And even though she couldn't understand what he said to the child, she noticed his voice. It was the most soothing voice she had ever heard.
When Nancy woke up the next morning she didn't feel rested or anything like that. If someone had asked her, she would have described it as if a train had hit her. The memories of her dreams, and the last day were still fresh in her mind. The pictures of blood and the pain in the faces of the people they helped, and the picture of the dead little child. But then there was also still this man in white. Nancy was wondering if it was really a good idea to change to this job.
During her drive to the hospital, Nancy tried to ignore all the questions in her mind, but it didn't work. She was wondering if she should talk with Roger about the last day, but she was afraid of his reactions. Maybe he would think that she was crazy if she asked if he had seen this guy in white too. She decided to be more careful with this. It sure wasn't a good idea to get the label 'crazy' during the first week, especially because Roger had to write a confidential report about her after she finished her practical training.
After she parked her car and walked into the hospital, she tried to find Mr.
Foster, but couldn't find him anywhere. Nancy walked back to the common room to wait there for their next call. A half hour later, Roger walked into the room. He didn't look so good either. "Morning," he grumbled.
"Morning," Nancy answered. She could tell that Roger seemed to be one of those persons that need a coffee in the morning first, before you could start to talk to them.
Roger walked over to the coffeemaker and took himself a cup of coffee and sat down next to Nancy. After he sipped from his coffee, he asked, "And?
How was your night after your first day?"
Nancy wasn't sure if she should be honest and tell him, but the look in his eyes told her that he wouldn't believe her anything else. "To be honest, I didn't sleep too well," she answered slowly.
"The child! Right?" it was more a statement as a question.
Nancy nodded. He was right. In her time as nurse she already had seen injured people, but it was really something else when they were still at the place of the accident than if they laid in the Emergency Room. 'That and this strange man,' she added in thoughts.
As Roger saw her sad face, he put his hand on her shoulder and said, "It's okay. Yesterday wasn't a good day to start. It's always hard when children are involved, especially if you can't help them anymore."
As he looked at her, he could see that something else was bothering her and after he asked her about this, she answered slowly, "Yesterday ... did you see someone else with the child? Or later with the shooting victim?"
Roger shook his head, "No. Who should I have seen?"
"Nobody, I only thought that there was someone ... Forget it, okay?" she said with a small smile. Nancy slowly got the feeling that she had started to run into something that could get out of control, but somehow she knew that she had to find this man.
As Nancy got up to walk to the coffeemaker to get a cup of coffee for herself, she looked toward the open door and there ... there was this guy again!!! He walked through the hall. And this time, it couldn't be the sun and she wasn't in a hectic situation ... she saw him as clear as she saw Roger. She could see his face and he looked so full of compassion and love, but she saw also so much sadness.
Nancy ran through the door staring down the corridor. There, she could see the white back. She ran closer - only to see that it was one of the interns. She stood forlornly in the middle of the corridor. People were milling around her now and then bumping into her. 'I could have sworn I saw him.' She sighed to herself.
At that moment Roger came looking for her. "Come on, we got to hurry, a work accident." Was all he said as he dragged her to the ambulance.
"What on earth happened back there?" He asked once they were out on the road. "You took off as if you had seen some celebrity or something!"
Nancy felt herself blushing. "It wa.. was a mistake." She stuttered. "I thought I saw someone I know."
The way Roger looked at her, made Nancy think that he had not bought one iota of what she had said.
The rest of the day went by, and no sight of the mystery man in white. The work accident had been pretty gruesome, but HE had not been there. The day had been pretty busy though so she was very tired when the shift was over. Exhausted she dragged herself home. She barely managed to undress before she dropped down on the bed. She was sound asleep before her head hit the pillow.
Once again he was there in her dreams. She saw him walking down the corridor in front of her. "Hey, she cried out," but as so often happens in a dream no sound came from her lips. The man seemed to hear her anyway. He paused and turned around. Once again she saw the sadness in his expression, and the gentleness. He opened his mouth, and Nancy thought he was forming 'Nancy' with his lips when a buzzing woke her up.
With a sure hand, she killed the alarm clock and went into the bathroom.
Roger saw of course that she had had a rough night. "The kid again? Well you'll get over it with time." He said without waiting for her nod.
It was their third call, another car accident. When they pulled up with their ambulance Nancy thought she saw him again by one of the cars, but he was gone before she could get out. When she reached the crashed car it didn't take her long to realize that the victim was already dead.
Routine kept her going until they had transported the surviving victim to the emergency, but as soon as she had a free moment she began to think about what she had learned.
'Alright Nancy," she thought to herself. 'So far I have seen him at fatal accidents mainly, plus once here at the hospital. All the people he has taken an interest in have been dead when I arrive. All have been victims of genuine accidents, so that rules out foul play. Besides, he looks too concerned and kind to be a murderer. But it could be euthanasia of course. No!' She contradicted herself. 'No I can't believe that of him. Maybe he is an angel!'
'But what kind of angel would only come to people who are dying,' she asked herself. 'Maybe he is a Guardian Angel, but then ... he wouldn't be very good at this job if all his protégés die!'
Before she got a chance to complete her train of thought, they got a new call. There was an accident on the highway. A motorcyclist had skidded on the wet road.
As they arrived on the scene, they could see that it was a very serious accident. The man lay under the crash barrier. He must have hit it during the accident, there was blood everywhere, and a lot of people were gathered around who already had tried to keep the man alive. He must only have been around 20 years old and had his whole life still before him.
Roger and Nancy hurried over to the man and started to examine him. It really didn't look good for the man. He didn't respond to any questions, his pulse, breath and blood pressure were very low. In this moment, Nancy felt the presence of someone. She look up and there ... there was this strange guy again. This time he stood directly in front of Nancy. She wanted to talk to him, but she stopped before one single word left her mouth. 'If he really is an angel, then maybe I'm the only one who can see him and there are TOO many people here. What would they or Roger say if they talking to thin air.' The strange man was all in white again and there was definitively a glow around him. Nancy was now sure that he WAS an angel. Before her, the blond man knelt down beside the victim. He looked at Nancy and his look told her that he knew that she saw him.
"Nancy!" called Roger's voice. "Nancy, come back!" he yelled angrily at her. His voice brought Nancy back, but she needed a moment focus her thoughts back to her work.
"Hold this," Roger commanded her and gave her the infusion bag.
Nancy took it and held it high, but her attention returned to the angel. He knelt beside the head of the man and talked to him. He said with the most calming voice, Nancy had ever heard - like in one of her first dreams, "Hello Michael, my name is Andrew. I am an angel, ... sent by God to bring you home to Him. I know that you are afraid right now ... but I want you to know that you don't have to be afraid. God loves you and He is waiting for you right now. It will still take some time before we can go and you should know that I will stay with you until it's time for you to go home." He softly stroked the young man's cheek and continued to talk to him, but Nancy stopped listening, because she had now gotten an idea what KIND of angel this blond guy was. It hit her like a train - HE was the Angel of Death!!!!!
'Oh no!' Nancy thought 'I'm in trouble!!! I'm REALLY in trouble!!!' Why was she the only one, except the victims, who could see the angel? Was she going to die? Nancy turned pale. She was more then happy when Roger and the other paramedics got ready to bring the man into the hospital.
During her way to the hospital, Nancy sat in her seat and didn't turn around. She knew that the angel was with them in the car, but she was to scared the look at him. The only question that she had right now was WHY was she able to see him. Was she going to die?
Short before they arrived, Nancy made a decision. She needed to talk to the angel. She knew that they could only talk when they were alone, but now she figured out WHERE she would find him in the hospital, at least as so long as the young man was still alive.
The hospital staff had not been able to find any relatives to the young man from the accident, so when Nancy volunteered to sit with him the busy emergency staff thought it was a blessing.
Nancy went into the little cubicle where they had put the victim. The doctors had done everything they could for him, but there are wounds that can not be healed. She saw the angel sitting close to the man's head. He turned his head and looked straight into her eyes as she entered. Once again she saw the sadness, but also the love and the gentleness in him. "You are the Angel of Death, aren't you?" she asked.
"Yes, Nancy, I am." Was the calm reply.
"Am I going to die, is that why I can see you?" She had blurted out the question before she could even think.
"Nancy, everything born to this earth must sooner or later die, but I don't know if your time has come." Andrew's voice was calm and soothing.
"But you're the Angel of Death! You, if anyone, must know when I'm going to die!" Nancy's voice was incredulous. She could not believe that he didn't know when.
"Oh Nancy, I'm just an angel. Only God knows everything." Now Andrew was smiling.
"I can see you. Only dying people can see you, right?"
"Usually, yes, but there are exceptions, and you are obviously one of them."
"But how?" Nancy's head was spinning now.
"This is not the first time we've met, remember?" Andrew asked her gently.
"No, unless you are talking about three days ago when I saw you by the little boy." Nancy felt unsure now. What was he talking about?
"No, I guess you were too young to remember. You had meningitis and your father took you to the hospital."
"I remember." Nancy could see the whole thing before her eyes. She had been so sick, but the nice man in white had been so kind to her. He had stayed with her all the time when she felt so bad and her father was not allowed to be with her. Now she could see that that nice man had been Andrew.
"Yes, it was me." Andrew answered her silent question. You nearly died that time.
"So, I nearly died when I was three, but I'm not going to die now. So why can I see and hear you?" Nancy summed up her new knowledge.
"That is something you must ask God, Nancy. Let Him tell you why, and how that can help you and others." Andrew replied.
At that moment the beeper went off. Nancy blushed and said: "That was Roger, there's an emergency so I must go. Will I see you again, Andrew?"
"Yes, I promise." Andrew smiled.
Their next emergency took almost an hour. A skydiver had landed in a tree. His injures weren't so bad, only some cuts and bruises but they had to wait until he was back on the ground before Nancy and Roger could take a look at him. But they took him to the hospital so that a doctor could check on him.
Nancy replayed in her mind her conversation with Andrew, the whole way to the accident scene and back to the hospital. She could still hear the angel's voice and what he told her. Especially one of his last sentences; 'That is something you must ask God, Nancy. Let Him tell you why, and how that can help you and others.'
As she arrived in the hospital, the first thing that Nancy wanted to do was to go back to the room where Andrew was and talk to him again, but before she started to walk in that direction, his last sentence came back into her mind. 'Ask God!' 'Alright,' Nancy thought 'I don't remember that He ever really gave me any answers, but I also never before met an angel, at least not that I could remember, until a hour ago.'
Nancy turned around and walked to the hospital chapel. She slowly opened the door and looked inside with the hope that nobody else would be there. Nancy didn't want someone else to hear what she was going to ask. She walked toward the first rows and sat down there, before she spoke. "Hello God. It's me, Nancy. I know I haven't talked to you for a LONG time. I'm really sorry about that. I hope you can forgive me. I ... I promise you that this won't happen again. The last three days since I started here have really been strange. I think you already know what I'm talking about. I know that Andrew is the Angel of Death and I know now that I met him when I was young, but ... I don't know WHY I can see and hear him now. Usually only dying people can see him. At first I was afraid that *I* was going to die, but my feeling tells me that this isn't the reason WHY I can see him. Andrew says he doesn't know it either, he said I should ask You. And here I am now. God please, tell me WHY I can see him!" Nancy pleaded.
She knew that there must be a reason. At first she was really afraid since she figured out WHO the strange man in white was, but after recalling the time that he was with her when she was three ... her fear had gone.
In the last hour, her whole memories of that time came back. She could remember how he had stroked her hair and face; how he told her about God and His love; and how he told her about heaven and that she shouldn't be afraid. Nancy remembered the love and compassion that she saw in his eyes, then. It was the same love and compassion that she saw now in his eyes. And she remembered that he had prayed for her. How could she ever have forgotten about this man?
Nancy sighed when she didn't get an answer. "You don't answer quickly, do You." She stood up and walked out of the chapel.
As she arrived in the young man's room, she saw that Andrew was still at the man's side. He looked up as he saw that Nancy was back and greeted her with a soft smile.
She smiled back at him and walked over to the bed, took one of the other chairs in the room and sat down.
"How much time has he left?" She asked with a low voice.
"Not much. Only about a half hour," Andrew answered with a sad smile. "And? Did you ask?" the angel wanted to know.
Nancy sighed, it was strange but somehow she felt so safe in the angel's presence, "Yes, I asked a few minutes ago, but ... He didn't answer." Nancy wished so much that she would get an answer.
"He will answer you. I promise you. Trust Him! When He thinks the time is right, He will tell you."
At that moment, Michael woke up. He groaned and had trouble opening his eyes. Nancy and Andrew stopped talking and gave all their attention to the young man in the bed.
"Where ... where am I?" he asked with a weak voice.
"Hello Michael! My name is Nancy. I'm one of the paramedics that brought you here. You had an accident. Do you remember?"
Michael nodded weak, but then he got scare and nervous as he looked behind Nancy and saw a blond man with a soft glow. "Who ... who is this? Can you see him? ... He is death!!! Stay away ... from me!!!" Michael stammered with panic. His eyes were full of fear and horror.
Nancy glanced at Andrew before she turned to Michael. "Shhh ... yes, I can see him. His name is Andrew. Please, don't be afraid of him, he is here to help you. He isn't the death you fear. He is a really good friend, who helped me once too, when I was as scared as you right now," Nancy told him gently and rubbed the man's hand.
Nancy could see that his fear lessened and in this moment she felt the angel's hand on her shoulder. He walked to her side and gave her a friendly smile before he talked to Michael. "Hello Michael," he said softly with compassion and love in his eyes and his voice, "as Nancy already told you ... My name is Andrew and ... I'm an angel, sent by God ... to bring you home to Him."
"I'm going to die?" Michael asked fearful.
Nancy nodded with tears in her eyes, "Yes, but ... don't be afraid. Okay? Andrew will be with you and so will I. We will help you through it," she said with a questioning look at the angel.
Andrew nodded, "Yes, we will. And I will go with you even when Nancy can't anymore. I promise you that there is something beautiful waiting for you," Andrew added with a big smile. Both, Michael and Nancy could see that Andrew meant what he said. "Michael, I know you are frightened right now, but there is really no reason to be scared. I want you to close your eyes and relax. It wont take long now."
"But ... but I'm so afraid! Why ...why does want me God to die?" Tears flowed down his face.
"Michael, God doesn't want you to die. It was an accident and believe me ... this was never in his plan. But things like this can happen. Michael,
God knows that you don't want to die, nobody wants to, but He wants you to trust Him. God loves you! And He wants you to come home to him, where there is no pain anymore and where you can meet your parents."
"But they died in a car accident when I was four."
"I know, because I was with them then. Wouldn't you like to see them again?" Andrew asked gently.
Michael nodded with tears in his eyes. It's so long since he had seen his parents the last time. He couldn't remember then clearly anymore but he still missed them. "Will it be painful?" he wanted to know.
Andrew smiled, "I promise you that it won't hurt. You will feel nothing. Please, lay down and relax. Don't fight against it."
Nancy could see how Michael started to relax by the sounds of Andrew's voice. And finally he slept again.
"You are really good!" Nancy said after Michael had fallen asleep.
Andrew got a big smile on his face, "Thank you! I only wish that the people wouldn't be so scared of me when they hear who I am. It would make this job a lot easier."
"Do you like this job?" Nancy asked surprised at his comment.
"Yes, yes I like my job. It's the best one that I've ever had," Andrew answered.
"You LIKE seeing people die?!" Nancy couldn't believe what the angel just told her. Until now, she had a better image of him, but the last sentence ...
"No!" Andrew shook his head. "I didn't say that I like seeing people die! Believe me, I hate it. It's hard to see them suffer. But I like to escort them home. When the process of dying is finished and they see the light ... The joy and wonder that you can see then in their eyes ... it's ... indescribable!!! Believe me, when your time comes, you will have the same look in your eyes," Andrew explained with a big smile from ear to ear. "When you see people who couldn't walk for years and suffered and when they finally can do everything again that they have wanted for a long time, like jump and run ... you should see their joy then!"
Andrew's explanation and his look in his green eyes restored Nancy's image of Andrew.
"You love your job really! I mean, I have the feeling that you see it as a privilege."
"Yes, I do. By the way, you weren't so bad either. To be honest, you were VERY good. And believe me, we Angels of Death don't tell humans that often."
Nancy blushed, "Do you really think so?"
"Are you kidding? Didn't you see how your words took some of his fear away?" Andrew asked with concern. "Maybe you should consider making a career of this!"
In that moment, both - Andrew AND Nancy - knew that this was that answer to her question!
Nancy stayed with Michael and Andrew until they had gone, then she went back to the chapel.
Once again she went to the front row and sat down. At first she didn't say anything. She just thought of all the things that had happened that day. Then she fell on her knees and folded her hands. "Thank you God for Andrew. Thank you for giving me this gift and for showing it to me. Help me to use this gift wisely so that I really can help people. Amen."
Nancy rose to her feet and left the chapel. She didn't go straight back to the paramedics' common room. Instead she went to a notice board where she knew available jobs usually were advertised. There right in front of her was the job. 'Nurse wanted for new hospice.' It said. Nancy tore down the paper and went to the phone to dial the number that written on the paper. 'If You really want me to do this, then You'll give me the job.' She silently prayed as she walked back to the common room.
Roger met her in the door. "Where have you been?" He asked furiously. "We have had one more emergency call while you've been away."
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear. I stayed with Michael, the motorcyclist from the highway." She clarified when she saw that Roger didn't remember. "Oh, and by the way. I need the rest of the day off. Roger, I'm sorry. I thought that this paramedic position was my calling, but God has shown me another and I need the rest of the day to go to a job interview."
Roger was dumbfounded. "What do you mean, another calling? What could possibly be better than saving lives?"
"No, saving lives is important, but God wants me to help the dying. I know it's not considered to be as glorious in this world as saving lives, but it is important to God. There is a new hospice in the other end of town. I'm going there for a job interview now. I'll let you know tomorrow. I am sorry Roger."
"I'm sorry too, Nancy. You have shown promise of becoming a very good paramedic." Roger sadly replied.
Nancy was happy as she took the bus to the hospice. At last she was going to do what she was meant to do.
The manager at the hospice welcomed her with open arms. Before the interview she was given a tour of the localities. It was a homey, welcoming atmosphere and both patients and staff greeted her with friendliness.
The interview was also easy. The manager asked her why she, being so young, chose the work with dying people. She had truthfully answered that she had been searching a long time for her vocation in life, but it was not until today when she had been helping a dying man that she clearly knew what to do with her life. With that she had been hired.
The next day, true to her promise, she first went to see Roger to tell him the outcome of the interview. Then, with lighthearted, steps she went to her new job. During the following days Nancy got to know all the patients and staff. There was one patient who especially caught her attention, Gregory. His family came every day to see him, but he was so bitter that it was painful to see and it drove his family away from him. She did her best to talk to him and to ease his pain and fear. Then came the day when Andrew came for Gregory. Gregory's wife was there and so was Nancy. It was very peaceful and beautiful.
That night when Nancy came home, Andrew sat on her stair waiting for her. This time he was not dressed in white, but in jeans and a checkered shirt.
"I just thought you would like to talk about it, That is if you care to have dinner with an Angel of Death."
Nancy lit up. "Sure, why wouldn't I want to do that. That is, what do angels eat?"
Andrew laughed. "Just the same things you eat, but I have some food with me right here." With that he produced a parcel full of food.
"Where did that come from?" Nancy was slightly confused because there had been no sign of anything besides Andrew on those stairs.
"One day you will know, right now all you need to know is that angels can do stuff like that."
Nancy didn't ask where the parcel came from anymore, somehow she could imagine it. It didn't really matter. It was more important that she had a friend who visited her and she was happy that she would get a chance to talk with Andrew.
"Alright, not matter where it comes from I'm glad to share some with you, because I hadn't time to fill my refrigerator in the last few days."
Andrew laughed, "Well, that's the reason why I have brought it with me."
"Then come in and let's eat. I'm so hungry!"
Together they walked into the building. Nancy had a small flat with a living room, a bedroom and a kitchen. Andrew noticed with how much love she must have furnished everything.
Andrew's parcel was full with everything that they needed to make some great gyros.
"Where do you have your pans," Andrew asked.
"You can cook?" Nancy asked surprised.
The angel laughed, "Sure, I can. To take people home isn't the only thing I can," he joked and Nancy answered with a laugh too.
A half-hour later both sat at the table in the living room and enjoyed the food.
"Wow, it's the best that I have ever eaten. I mean, sure I have eaten Gyros before, but ... you are really a good cook," Nancy said.
Andrew blushed a little bit when he answered with a shy smile, "Thank you. I love cooking if I have time for it."
Even though Nancy looked like she enjoyed everything, Andrew could still see that there was something that bothered her and he knew exactly what it was. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.
Nancy looked up and saw in his face. She knew what he was talking about and nodded. "Yeah."
"It's Gregory. Right?" Andrew tried to make the start easier for her.
"Yes," Nancy looked down. "I know he is in peace now and that he hasn't any pain anymore, but I wish I would have gotten through to him, before he had to go. He was so bitter the whole time. He yelled at his family and the stuff... he was so angry and he made it only harder for himself and everyone else. Maybe if I had spent more time with him, maybe if I had used other words ..." Tears appeared in her eyes.
Andrew cut her short, "Stop this!" And as Nancy looked at him, he continued, "You have done EVERYTHING that you could to help him, but he rejected it. He was too angry. You see, people who know that they are dying, often react like that. Believe me, you would react like this too, no matter if you know me and God or not. It's a normal thing. It's a stage of the process of dying. They are angry, angry at themselves, angry at people who will continue to live, angry that they have to leave their family, that they won't see their children growing up. They are angry at God, that He is letting them die. And the most important thing ... they are afraid! They don't know what is waiting for them," Andrew explained softly
"Yes, it's your job to help them to get over this stage and to accept what's going to happen. I know that you will be wonderful in this job. I know that you will help the most of them to get over their fear and make their last days on earth easier and you will make their transition easier for them and their families," Andrew squeezed Nancy's hand, "But this doesn't mean that there won't be people like Gregory. Some of them will never get over the stage of anger, no matter how hard you try. Some people will change their mind in the last minute and will listen to you. Some people will only listen when they see me ... and some ..." he didn't finish, but Nancy could read the rest of the sentence in his eyes.
"Gregory was one of the ones that changed their mind when he saw you. Right?" Nancy said.
Andrew smiled, "Yes, he was one of those. We talked a lot during our way and he wanted me to tell you how sorry he was for yelling at you and his family and not listening to you. He knew then that you were only trying to help him and that everything you told him was true. He was really sorry, believe me." Andrew sighed. "And he wanted me to tell you something else ... he wanted you to know that you are REALLY good in this job." Andrew added with a big smile from one ear to ear. And Nancy could do nothing else but smile too.
Andrew had a wonderful way of telling her what she needed to hear. She hoped that, when the day came that she had to leave this earth, Andrew would be the angel who will bring her home. In the last days in the hospice, she had met also some of the other Angels of Death. Still, Andrew was someone special to her even though the others were really nice and compassionate guys, too.
The rest of the evening, they talked about a lot of things. Andrew told her about some of his funniest assignments; for example when he accidentally caused an old lady a heart attack as he wanted to rescue her from a lorry.He told her about God's love for her and Nancy told him about her past and how she found God.
It was almost 10 p.m. as Andrew said that he had to go now, because there was a new assignment waiting for him. Nancy walked him to her door.
"Andrew, thank you for this beautiful evening. And I want to thank you for everything else you've done for me."
"Don't thank me ... Thank God! He is the One who stands behind everything."
"I do it every evening when I pray," Nancy replied. "But I also want to thank *you*. I'm sure that if you weren't such a nice angel, then everything would have gone another way," she said a little bit shyly.
Andrew smiled, looking slightly embarrassed, "You are a wonderful woman, Nancy and I'm really glad that I have met you." With a look at his pocketwatch he added, "I have to go now, but I'm sure that we will often meet each other."
Nancy was a little bit sad, that Andrew had to go, but she knew that there was someone out there who really needed his help soon and who was she to refuse this that one. "I'm sorry, that you have to go, but it's also late for me and I have to get up early tomorrow. But I want you to know that you can come to visit me whenever you like. I would be more than happy to see you."
They hugged each other a last time and Andrew whispered 'God loves you and He is really proud of you' in her ear, before he walked down the stairs.
The End
Hugs,
Grit
Disclaimer: I don't own the angels Tess, Monica and Andrew. They all belongs
to Martha Williamson.
"Death Is My Friend"
Nancy Wittges walked toward the local hospital. The twenty-nine year old had long blond hair and blue eyes. It was here very first day as a paramedic in training and she wasn't sure what she should expect. Two years ago, she changed her job and started on a new educational path.
As she walked through the doors, approached toward the desk, then said to the man there, "Hi, I'm Nancy Wittges. I'm here to attend my practical training as a paramedic."
"Hi, I'm Mitchell. Mr. Foster is already waiting for you. You can find him in the common room. It's the second room on the left side when you walk down the hall," the man answered in a friendly manner.
Nancy smiled and thanked him before she walked toward the room. The common room wasn't very big. There was a table in the middle of the room, a refrigerator, a kitchen range, and a coffee machine. On the other side of the room was also an old couch.
There was a man standing by the coffeemaker who tried to make some coffee. He turned around when he heard that someone walked into the room.
"Hi, I'm Nancy Wittges ..." she walked toward the man and held out her hand.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Roger Foster and you must be our new trainee," he greeted her with a smile and shook her hand.
"Yes, I am!" Nancy answered a little bit nervously.
Roger Foster was about 40 years old, had short dark hair and brown eyes. "What did you do before you started this training?"
"I was a nurse."
"And why did you change?" he wanted to know.
"Well, I wanted to do something else, but I still wanted to stay somehow in this line of work. I like to help people and I wanted to work something more ... how should I say ..." she searched for the right words.
"You wanted to do something more basic?" Mr. Foster assured with a cheerful smile.
Nancy smiled back, "Yes, that hits it really close."
"Alright, I think we'll start this way: You will accompany us on our first emergency calls so that you can see what we have to do and how we do it. In two or three day you will get your own tasks to do. How does this sound to you?"
Nancy was happy with that, "It sounds like a great start to me." Before she could say anything else, they got a call about an accident and everybody hurried to the ambulances. Immediately organized pandemonium broke out. Roger grabbed Nancy's hand as he ran towards one of the ambulances.
Nancy liked fast cars, but usually when they were confined to a race-track. Now she sat beside the driver of the ambulance as he weaved the cumbersome vehicle in and out of the heavy traffic. Had she been asked right then how she felt, she would have been compelled to admit that she was so scared that she had her heart in her throat. Once on the scene of the accident her training, both as a nurse and as a paramedic kicked in. Together with Roger and the paramedics of the other ambulance she set out to assess the accident; a head-on collision. One car had one casualty - the driver, and in the other car there was a passenger besides the driver that had been injured. The other ambulance started on the couple, while Roger and Nancy got to work on the single guy.
Something made Nancy look up. There on the curb a little bit away from the accident she saw something lying. She also thought she saw a man dressed in white sitting beside the still form. Nancy shook her head. 'No, it must be a trick of the light. The sun was shining in her eyes.' When she looked again she only saw the dark shape lying there.
Roger was managing their patient all by himself, but the patient seemed worried about something. He kept saying "Brian, Brian," all the time.
Nancy stood up and walked towards the mysterious heap. She only had to take a few steps before she saw what it was and started to run. It was a small child. She cried for Roger who hurriedly came over, only to feel a pulse on the child and shake his head.
She had no time to think about what had happened on the way back to the hospital. She was caring for the patient and he needed all the attention she could give him. It was only when she and Roger relaxed with a cup of coffee in the common room that the event hit her. She had found a dead child! Had she really seen someone beside the child? And who was that person, if she had seen someone?
The rest of the day went on in the same way. There was a kid with asthma that they picked up in his school; and an old lady with a broken hip; a possible heart attack; and just before their shift was over - a shooting.
Nancy kept looking around her hoping to see the white clad man just one more time. Then at the shooting she thought she saw him again, but when she came up to the victim all she saw was the blood on the clothes and the ground.
When Nancy went to bed that night all the events of the day swirled around in her head. Had she really seen a person twice that day? Would she see him again?
And WHO was this man, if he was real?
She was tired after her first day and the only thing she wanted right now was some peaceful sleep. But almost the whole last day was repeated in her dreams. She was back at the location of the accident and the shooting. In her dreams, she saw this strange man again and this time she could hear that he talked to the little boy from the accident. She could see his face more clearly in her dreams. And even though she couldn't understand what he said to the child, she noticed his voice. It was the most soothing voice she had ever heard.
When Nancy woke up the next morning she didn't feel rested or anything like that. If someone had asked her, she would have described it as if a train had hit her. The memories of her dreams, and the last day were still fresh in her mind. The pictures of blood and the pain in the faces of the people they helped, and the picture of the dead little child. But then there was also still this man in white. Nancy was wondering if it was really a good idea to change to this job.
During her drive to the hospital, Nancy tried to ignore all the questions in her mind, but it didn't work. She was wondering if she should talk with Roger about the last day, but she was afraid of his reactions. Maybe he would think that she was crazy if she asked if he had seen this guy in white too. She decided to be more careful with this. It sure wasn't a good idea to get the label 'crazy' during the first week, especially because Roger had to write a confidential report about her after she finished her practical training.
After she parked her car and walked into the hospital, she tried to find Mr.
Foster, but couldn't find him anywhere. Nancy walked back to the common room to wait there for their next call. A half hour later, Roger walked into the room. He didn't look so good either. "Morning," he grumbled.
"Morning," Nancy answered. She could tell that Roger seemed to be one of those persons that need a coffee in the morning first, before you could start to talk to them.
Roger walked over to the coffeemaker and took himself a cup of coffee and sat down next to Nancy. After he sipped from his coffee, he asked, "And?
How was your night after your first day?"
Nancy wasn't sure if she should be honest and tell him, but the look in his eyes told her that he wouldn't believe her anything else. "To be honest, I didn't sleep too well," she answered slowly.
"The child! Right?" it was more a statement as a question.
Nancy nodded. He was right. In her time as nurse she already had seen injured people, but it was really something else when they were still at the place of the accident than if they laid in the Emergency Room. 'That and this strange man,' she added in thoughts.
As Roger saw her sad face, he put his hand on her shoulder and said, "It's okay. Yesterday wasn't a good day to start. It's always hard when children are involved, especially if you can't help them anymore."
As he looked at her, he could see that something else was bothering her and after he asked her about this, she answered slowly, "Yesterday ... did you see someone else with the child? Or later with the shooting victim?"
Roger shook his head, "No. Who should I have seen?"
"Nobody, I only thought that there was someone ... Forget it, okay?" she said with a small smile. Nancy slowly got the feeling that she had started to run into something that could get out of control, but somehow she knew that she had to find this man.
As Nancy got up to walk to the coffeemaker to get a cup of coffee for herself, she looked toward the open door and there ... there was this guy again!!! He walked through the hall. And this time, it couldn't be the sun and she wasn't in a hectic situation ... she saw him as clear as she saw Roger. She could see his face and he looked so full of compassion and love, but she saw also so much sadness.
Nancy ran through the door staring down the corridor. There, she could see the white back. She ran closer - only to see that it was one of the interns. She stood forlornly in the middle of the corridor. People were milling around her now and then bumping into her. 'I could have sworn I saw him.' She sighed to herself.
At that moment Roger came looking for her. "Come on, we got to hurry, a work accident." Was all he said as he dragged her to the ambulance.
"What on earth happened back there?" He asked once they were out on the road. "You took off as if you had seen some celebrity or something!"
Nancy felt herself blushing. "It wa.. was a mistake." She stuttered. "I thought I saw someone I know."
The way Roger looked at her, made Nancy think that he had not bought one iota of what she had said.
The rest of the day went by, and no sight of the mystery man in white. The work accident had been pretty gruesome, but HE had not been there. The day had been pretty busy though so she was very tired when the shift was over. Exhausted she dragged herself home. She barely managed to undress before she dropped down on the bed. She was sound asleep before her head hit the pillow.
Once again he was there in her dreams. She saw him walking down the corridor in front of her. "Hey, she cried out," but as so often happens in a dream no sound came from her lips. The man seemed to hear her anyway. He paused and turned around. Once again she saw the sadness in his expression, and the gentleness. He opened his mouth, and Nancy thought he was forming 'Nancy' with his lips when a buzzing woke her up.
With a sure hand, she killed the alarm clock and went into the bathroom.
Roger saw of course that she had had a rough night. "The kid again? Well you'll get over it with time." He said without waiting for her nod.
It was their third call, another car accident. When they pulled up with their ambulance Nancy thought she saw him again by one of the cars, but he was gone before she could get out. When she reached the crashed car it didn't take her long to realize that the victim was already dead.
Routine kept her going until they had transported the surviving victim to the emergency, but as soon as she had a free moment she began to think about what she had learned.
'Alright Nancy," she thought to herself. 'So far I have seen him at fatal accidents mainly, plus once here at the hospital. All the people he has taken an interest in have been dead when I arrive. All have been victims of genuine accidents, so that rules out foul play. Besides, he looks too concerned and kind to be a murderer. But it could be euthanasia of course. No!' She contradicted herself. 'No I can't believe that of him. Maybe he is an angel!'
'But what kind of angel would only come to people who are dying,' she asked herself. 'Maybe he is a Guardian Angel, but then ... he wouldn't be very good at this job if all his protégés die!'
Before she got a chance to complete her train of thought, they got a new call. There was an accident on the highway. A motorcyclist had skidded on the wet road.
As they arrived on the scene, they could see that it was a very serious accident. The man lay under the crash barrier. He must have hit it during the accident, there was blood everywhere, and a lot of people were gathered around who already had tried to keep the man alive. He must only have been around 20 years old and had his whole life still before him.
Roger and Nancy hurried over to the man and started to examine him. It really didn't look good for the man. He didn't respond to any questions, his pulse, breath and blood pressure were very low. In this moment, Nancy felt the presence of someone. She look up and there ... there was this strange guy again. This time he stood directly in front of Nancy. She wanted to talk to him, but she stopped before one single word left her mouth. 'If he really is an angel, then maybe I'm the only one who can see him and there are TOO many people here. What would they or Roger say if they talking to thin air.' The strange man was all in white again and there was definitively a glow around him. Nancy was now sure that he WAS an angel. Before her, the blond man knelt down beside the victim. He looked at Nancy and his look told her that he knew that she saw him.
"Nancy!" called Roger's voice. "Nancy, come back!" he yelled angrily at her. His voice brought Nancy back, but she needed a moment focus her thoughts back to her work.
"Hold this," Roger commanded her and gave her the infusion bag.
Nancy took it and held it high, but her attention returned to the angel. He knelt beside the head of the man and talked to him. He said with the most calming voice, Nancy had ever heard - like in one of her first dreams, "Hello Michael, my name is Andrew. I am an angel, ... sent by God to bring you home to Him. I know that you are afraid right now ... but I want you to know that you don't have to be afraid. God loves you and He is waiting for you right now. It will still take some time before we can go and you should know that I will stay with you until it's time for you to go home." He softly stroked the young man's cheek and continued to talk to him, but Nancy stopped listening, because she had now gotten an idea what KIND of angel this blond guy was. It hit her like a train - HE was the Angel of Death!!!!!
'Oh no!' Nancy thought 'I'm in trouble!!! I'm REALLY in trouble!!!' Why was she the only one, except the victims, who could see the angel? Was she going to die? Nancy turned pale. She was more then happy when Roger and the other paramedics got ready to bring the man into the hospital.
During her way to the hospital, Nancy sat in her seat and didn't turn around. She knew that the angel was with them in the car, but she was to scared the look at him. The only question that she had right now was WHY was she able to see him. Was she going to die?
Short before they arrived, Nancy made a decision. She needed to talk to the angel. She knew that they could only talk when they were alone, but now she figured out WHERE she would find him in the hospital, at least as so long as the young man was still alive.
The hospital staff had not been able to find any relatives to the young man from the accident, so when Nancy volunteered to sit with him the busy emergency staff thought it was a blessing.
Nancy went into the little cubicle where they had put the victim. The doctors had done everything they could for him, but there are wounds that can not be healed. She saw the angel sitting close to the man's head. He turned his head and looked straight into her eyes as she entered. Once again she saw the sadness, but also the love and the gentleness in him. "You are the Angel of Death, aren't you?" she asked.
"Yes, Nancy, I am." Was the calm reply.
"Am I going to die, is that why I can see you?" She had blurted out the question before she could even think.
"Nancy, everything born to this earth must sooner or later die, but I don't know if your time has come." Andrew's voice was calm and soothing.
"But you're the Angel of Death! You, if anyone, must know when I'm going to die!" Nancy's voice was incredulous. She could not believe that he didn't know when.
"Oh Nancy, I'm just an angel. Only God knows everything." Now Andrew was smiling.
"I can see you. Only dying people can see you, right?"
"Usually, yes, but there are exceptions, and you are obviously one of them."
"But how?" Nancy's head was spinning now.
"This is not the first time we've met, remember?" Andrew asked her gently.
"No, unless you are talking about three days ago when I saw you by the little boy." Nancy felt unsure now. What was he talking about?
"No, I guess you were too young to remember. You had meningitis and your father took you to the hospital."
"I remember." Nancy could see the whole thing before her eyes. She had been so sick, but the nice man in white had been so kind to her. He had stayed with her all the time when she felt so bad and her father was not allowed to be with her. Now she could see that that nice man had been Andrew.
"Yes, it was me." Andrew answered her silent question. You nearly died that time.
"So, I nearly died when I was three, but I'm not going to die now. So why can I see and hear you?" Nancy summed up her new knowledge.
"That is something you must ask God, Nancy. Let Him tell you why, and how that can help you and others." Andrew replied.
At that moment the beeper went off. Nancy blushed and said: "That was Roger, there's an emergency so I must go. Will I see you again, Andrew?"
"Yes, I promise." Andrew smiled.
Their next emergency took almost an hour. A skydiver had landed in a tree. His injures weren't so bad, only some cuts and bruises but they had to wait until he was back on the ground before Nancy and Roger could take a look at him. But they took him to the hospital so that a doctor could check on him.
Nancy replayed in her mind her conversation with Andrew, the whole way to the accident scene and back to the hospital. She could still hear the angel's voice and what he told her. Especially one of his last sentences; 'That is something you must ask God, Nancy. Let Him tell you why, and how that can help you and others.'
As she arrived in the hospital, the first thing that Nancy wanted to do was to go back to the room where Andrew was and talk to him again, but before she started to walk in that direction, his last sentence came back into her mind. 'Ask God!' 'Alright,' Nancy thought 'I don't remember that He ever really gave me any answers, but I also never before met an angel, at least not that I could remember, until a hour ago.'
Nancy turned around and walked to the hospital chapel. She slowly opened the door and looked inside with the hope that nobody else would be there. Nancy didn't want someone else to hear what she was going to ask. She walked toward the first rows and sat down there, before she spoke. "Hello God. It's me, Nancy. I know I haven't talked to you for a LONG time. I'm really sorry about that. I hope you can forgive me. I ... I promise you that this won't happen again. The last three days since I started here have really been strange. I think you already know what I'm talking about. I know that Andrew is the Angel of Death and I know now that I met him when I was young, but ... I don't know WHY I can see and hear him now. Usually only dying people can see him. At first I was afraid that *I* was going to die, but my feeling tells me that this isn't the reason WHY I can see him. Andrew says he doesn't know it either, he said I should ask You. And here I am now. God please, tell me WHY I can see him!" Nancy pleaded.
She knew that there must be a reason. At first she was really afraid since she figured out WHO the strange man in white was, but after recalling the time that he was with her when she was three ... her fear had gone.
In the last hour, her whole memories of that time came back. She could remember how he had stroked her hair and face; how he told her about God and His love; and how he told her about heaven and that she shouldn't be afraid. Nancy remembered the love and compassion that she saw in his eyes, then. It was the same love and compassion that she saw now in his eyes. And she remembered that he had prayed for her. How could she ever have forgotten about this man?
Nancy sighed when she didn't get an answer. "You don't answer quickly, do You." She stood up and walked out of the chapel.
As she arrived in the young man's room, she saw that Andrew was still at the man's side. He looked up as he saw that Nancy was back and greeted her with a soft smile.
She smiled back at him and walked over to the bed, took one of the other chairs in the room and sat down.
"How much time has he left?" She asked with a low voice.
"Not much. Only about a half hour," Andrew answered with a sad smile. "And? Did you ask?" the angel wanted to know.
Nancy sighed, it was strange but somehow she felt so safe in the angel's presence, "Yes, I asked a few minutes ago, but ... He didn't answer." Nancy wished so much that she would get an answer.
"He will answer you. I promise you. Trust Him! When He thinks the time is right, He will tell you."
At that moment, Michael woke up. He groaned and had trouble opening his eyes. Nancy and Andrew stopped talking and gave all their attention to the young man in the bed.
"Where ... where am I?" he asked with a weak voice.
"Hello Michael! My name is Nancy. I'm one of the paramedics that brought you here. You had an accident. Do you remember?"
Michael nodded weak, but then he got scare and nervous as he looked behind Nancy and saw a blond man with a soft glow. "Who ... who is this? Can you see him? ... He is death!!! Stay away ... from me!!!" Michael stammered with panic. His eyes were full of fear and horror.
Nancy glanced at Andrew before she turned to Michael. "Shhh ... yes, I can see him. His name is Andrew. Please, don't be afraid of him, he is here to help you. He isn't the death you fear. He is a really good friend, who helped me once too, when I was as scared as you right now," Nancy told him gently and rubbed the man's hand.
Nancy could see that his fear lessened and in this moment she felt the angel's hand on her shoulder. He walked to her side and gave her a friendly smile before he talked to Michael. "Hello Michael," he said softly with compassion and love in his eyes and his voice, "as Nancy already told you ... My name is Andrew and ... I'm an angel, sent by God ... to bring you home to Him."
"I'm going to die?" Michael asked fearful.
Nancy nodded with tears in her eyes, "Yes, but ... don't be afraid. Okay? Andrew will be with you and so will I. We will help you through it," she said with a questioning look at the angel.
Andrew nodded, "Yes, we will. And I will go with you even when Nancy can't anymore. I promise you that there is something beautiful waiting for you," Andrew added with a big smile. Both, Michael and Nancy could see that Andrew meant what he said. "Michael, I know you are frightened right now, but there is really no reason to be scared. I want you to close your eyes and relax. It wont take long now."
"But ... but I'm so afraid! Why ...why does want me God to die?" Tears flowed down his face.
"Michael, God doesn't want you to die. It was an accident and believe me ... this was never in his plan. But things like this can happen. Michael,
God knows that you don't want to die, nobody wants to, but He wants you to trust Him. God loves you! And He wants you to come home to him, where there is no pain anymore and where you can meet your parents."
"But they died in a car accident when I was four."
"I know, because I was with them then. Wouldn't you like to see them again?" Andrew asked gently.
Michael nodded with tears in his eyes. It's so long since he had seen his parents the last time. He couldn't remember then clearly anymore but he still missed them. "Will it be painful?" he wanted to know.
Andrew smiled, "I promise you that it won't hurt. You will feel nothing. Please, lay down and relax. Don't fight against it."
Nancy could see how Michael started to relax by the sounds of Andrew's voice. And finally he slept again.
"You are really good!" Nancy said after Michael had fallen asleep.
Andrew got a big smile on his face, "Thank you! I only wish that the people wouldn't be so scared of me when they hear who I am. It would make this job a lot easier."
"Do you like this job?" Nancy asked surprised at his comment.
"Yes, yes I like my job. It's the best one that I've ever had," Andrew answered.
"You LIKE seeing people die?!" Nancy couldn't believe what the angel just told her. Until now, she had a better image of him, but the last sentence ...
"No!" Andrew shook his head. "I didn't say that I like seeing people die! Believe me, I hate it. It's hard to see them suffer. But I like to escort them home. When the process of dying is finished and they see the light ... The joy and wonder that you can see then in their eyes ... it's ... indescribable!!! Believe me, when your time comes, you will have the same look in your eyes," Andrew explained with a big smile from ear to ear. "When you see people who couldn't walk for years and suffered and when they finally can do everything again that they have wanted for a long time, like jump and run ... you should see their joy then!"
Andrew's explanation and his look in his green eyes restored Nancy's image of Andrew.
"You love your job really! I mean, I have the feeling that you see it as a privilege."
"Yes, I do. By the way, you weren't so bad either. To be honest, you were VERY good. And believe me, we Angels of Death don't tell humans that often."
Nancy blushed, "Do you really think so?"
"Are you kidding? Didn't you see how your words took some of his fear away?" Andrew asked with concern. "Maybe you should consider making a career of this!"
In that moment, both - Andrew AND Nancy - knew that this was that answer to her question!
Nancy stayed with Michael and Andrew until they had gone, then she went back to the chapel.
Once again she went to the front row and sat down. At first she didn't say anything. She just thought of all the things that had happened that day. Then she fell on her knees and folded her hands. "Thank you God for Andrew. Thank you for giving me this gift and for showing it to me. Help me to use this gift wisely so that I really can help people. Amen."
Nancy rose to her feet and left the chapel. She didn't go straight back to the paramedics' common room. Instead she went to a notice board where she knew available jobs usually were advertised. There right in front of her was the job. 'Nurse wanted for new hospice.' It said. Nancy tore down the paper and went to the phone to dial the number that written on the paper. 'If You really want me to do this, then You'll give me the job.' She silently prayed as she walked back to the common room.
Roger met her in the door. "Where have you been?" He asked furiously. "We have had one more emergency call while you've been away."
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear. I stayed with Michael, the motorcyclist from the highway." She clarified when she saw that Roger didn't remember. "Oh, and by the way. I need the rest of the day off. Roger, I'm sorry. I thought that this paramedic position was my calling, but God has shown me another and I need the rest of the day to go to a job interview."
Roger was dumbfounded. "What do you mean, another calling? What could possibly be better than saving lives?"
"No, saving lives is important, but God wants me to help the dying. I know it's not considered to be as glorious in this world as saving lives, but it is important to God. There is a new hospice in the other end of town. I'm going there for a job interview now. I'll let you know tomorrow. I am sorry Roger."
"I'm sorry too, Nancy. You have shown promise of becoming a very good paramedic." Roger sadly replied.
Nancy was happy as she took the bus to the hospice. At last she was going to do what she was meant to do.
The manager at the hospice welcomed her with open arms. Before the interview she was given a tour of the localities. It was a homey, welcoming atmosphere and both patients and staff greeted her with friendliness.
The interview was also easy. The manager asked her why she, being so young, chose the work with dying people. She had truthfully answered that she had been searching a long time for her vocation in life, but it was not until today when she had been helping a dying man that she clearly knew what to do with her life. With that she had been hired.
The next day, true to her promise, she first went to see Roger to tell him the outcome of the interview. Then, with lighthearted, steps she went to her new job. During the following days Nancy got to know all the patients and staff. There was one patient who especially caught her attention, Gregory. His family came every day to see him, but he was so bitter that it was painful to see and it drove his family away from him. She did her best to talk to him and to ease his pain and fear. Then came the day when Andrew came for Gregory. Gregory's wife was there and so was Nancy. It was very peaceful and beautiful.
That night when Nancy came home, Andrew sat on her stair waiting for her. This time he was not dressed in white, but in jeans and a checkered shirt.
"I just thought you would like to talk about it, That is if you care to have dinner with an Angel of Death."
Nancy lit up. "Sure, why wouldn't I want to do that. That is, what do angels eat?"
Andrew laughed. "Just the same things you eat, but I have some food with me right here." With that he produced a parcel full of food.
"Where did that come from?" Nancy was slightly confused because there had been no sign of anything besides Andrew on those stairs.
"One day you will know, right now all you need to know is that angels can do stuff like that."
Nancy didn't ask where the parcel came from anymore, somehow she could imagine it. It didn't really matter. It was more important that she had a friend who visited her and she was happy that she would get a chance to talk with Andrew.
"Alright, not matter where it comes from I'm glad to share some with you, because I hadn't time to fill my refrigerator in the last few days."
Andrew laughed, "Well, that's the reason why I have brought it with me."
"Then come in and let's eat. I'm so hungry!"
Together they walked into the building. Nancy had a small flat with a living room, a bedroom and a kitchen. Andrew noticed with how much love she must have furnished everything.
Andrew's parcel was full with everything that they needed to make some great gyros.
"Where do you have your pans," Andrew asked.
"You can cook?" Nancy asked surprised.
The angel laughed, "Sure, I can. To take people home isn't the only thing I can," he joked and Nancy answered with a laugh too.
A half-hour later both sat at the table in the living room and enjoyed the food.
"Wow, it's the best that I have ever eaten. I mean, sure I have eaten Gyros before, but ... you are really a good cook," Nancy said.
Andrew blushed a little bit when he answered with a shy smile, "Thank you. I love cooking if I have time for it."
Even though Nancy looked like she enjoyed everything, Andrew could still see that there was something that bothered her and he knew exactly what it was. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.
Nancy looked up and saw in his face. She knew what he was talking about and nodded. "Yeah."
"It's Gregory. Right?" Andrew tried to make the start easier for her.
"Yes," Nancy looked down. "I know he is in peace now and that he hasn't any pain anymore, but I wish I would have gotten through to him, before he had to go. He was so bitter the whole time. He yelled at his family and the stuff... he was so angry and he made it only harder for himself and everyone else. Maybe if I had spent more time with him, maybe if I had used other words ..." Tears appeared in her eyes.
Andrew cut her short, "Stop this!" And as Nancy looked at him, he continued, "You have done EVERYTHING that you could to help him, but he rejected it. He was too angry. You see, people who know that they are dying, often react like that. Believe me, you would react like this too, no matter if you know me and God or not. It's a normal thing. It's a stage of the process of dying. They are angry, angry at themselves, angry at people who will continue to live, angry that they have to leave their family, that they won't see their children growing up. They are angry at God, that He is letting them die. And the most important thing ... they are afraid! They don't know what is waiting for them," Andrew explained softly
"Yes, it's your job to help them to get over this stage and to accept what's going to happen. I know that you will be wonderful in this job. I know that you will help the most of them to get over their fear and make their last days on earth easier and you will make their transition easier for them and their families," Andrew squeezed Nancy's hand, "But this doesn't mean that there won't be people like Gregory. Some of them will never get over the stage of anger, no matter how hard you try. Some people will change their mind in the last minute and will listen to you. Some people will only listen when they see me ... and some ..." he didn't finish, but Nancy could read the rest of the sentence in his eyes.
"Gregory was one of the ones that changed their mind when he saw you. Right?" Nancy said.
Andrew smiled, "Yes, he was one of those. We talked a lot during our way and he wanted me to tell you how sorry he was for yelling at you and his family and not listening to you. He knew then that you were only trying to help him and that everything you told him was true. He was really sorry, believe me." Andrew sighed. "And he wanted me to tell you something else ... he wanted you to know that you are REALLY good in this job." Andrew added with a big smile from one ear to ear. And Nancy could do nothing else but smile too.
Andrew had a wonderful way of telling her what she needed to hear. She hoped that, when the day came that she had to leave this earth, Andrew would be the angel who will bring her home. In the last days in the hospice, she had met also some of the other Angels of Death. Still, Andrew was someone special to her even though the others were really nice and compassionate guys, too.
The rest of the evening, they talked about a lot of things. Andrew told her about some of his funniest assignments; for example when he accidentally caused an old lady a heart attack as he wanted to rescue her from a lorry.He told her about God's love for her and Nancy told him about her past and how she found God.
It was almost 10 p.m. as Andrew said that he had to go now, because there was a new assignment waiting for him. Nancy walked him to her door.
"Andrew, thank you for this beautiful evening. And I want to thank you for everything else you've done for me."
"Don't thank me ... Thank God! He is the One who stands behind everything."
"I do it every evening when I pray," Nancy replied. "But I also want to thank *you*. I'm sure that if you weren't such a nice angel, then everything would have gone another way," she said a little bit shyly.
Andrew smiled, looking slightly embarrassed, "You are a wonderful woman, Nancy and I'm really glad that I have met you." With a look at his pocketwatch he added, "I have to go now, but I'm sure that we will often meet each other."
Nancy was a little bit sad, that Andrew had to go, but she knew that there was someone out there who really needed his help soon and who was she to refuse this that one. "I'm sorry, that you have to go, but it's also late for me and I have to get up early tomorrow. But I want you to know that you can come to visit me whenever you like. I would be more than happy to see you."
They hugged each other a last time and Andrew whispered 'God loves you and He is really proud of you' in her ear, before he walked down the stairs.
The End
