Even though he'll never see this, special thanks to Howard Chaykin. =)


"In Dreams"
by Loisarah

Disclaimer: Characters property of Pet Fly Productions and Paramount.
Written by a fan, for fans, and not for profit. Entertainment only. Some
scenes and dialogue taken directly from episode "Standoff", written by Howard
Chaykin. The parts in the "present" are his, the flashbacks are mine.

Rating: PG

Keywords: Angst, Season 2, Standoff, memories, Westlake

Categories: Angst, Past

Spoilers: Standoff, Winner Take All, maybe (very slight) Cat and Mouse


Author's notes: Well... this takes place inside the episode "Standoff". I
hope it's not too confusing for people to follow. It deals a lot with
Westlake's past, some of which was mentioned in the show, and some of which I
just made up. The "dreams" or memories are mine, the scenes taking place
in the "present" are in the actual episode.

FYI, "Sandburg" is a made-up character.

Standoff takes place in the second season, in the first half of episodes. If
there are any questions, feel free to ask. I'm putting down the parts of the
episode that are necessary for the rest of the story in the beginning, but
after a certain point, it's only stuff witnessed by Westlake. Hopefully this
will be clearer after you've read the fic.

Note: I'm working from the assumption that even though Westlake mentioned,
when she was talking to her ex-husband, that her parents fought a lot, that
they weren't divorced before he was killed.

Summary up to point that I took over:

Westlake and Cole, in the defender, are trying to track down one Dr.
Bishop, who stole a prototype rifle, the M 185, from his lab. They're trying
to find out if something went wrong, or if he just decided to steal it.

Bishop did not steal the weapon, his bodyguards, military security
attached to the NSA did, but Bishop got away with the plans, so the rogue
agents can't do anything with the gun without the plans. Bishop is shot as
he's trying to escape, and crashes into a road sign, nearly hitting a young
woman trying to hitchhike into Metro City, named Becky.

Becky runs up to the car to give the guy a tongue-lashing, but instead
finds that he's been shot, and is barely conscious. She gets him into the
backseat of his car, and begins driving, trying to get help. Behind Becky,
the NSA guys have caught up, and start firing at the car.

A com satellite is down, meaning the only way Westlake and Cole have of
communicating with the Complex is through the probe, using a microwave signal
that doesn't use the Comsat. Cole decides to use the probe to scope out
what's going on ahead of them on the highway. One of the NSA agents spots
the probe, and shoots it down, making it impossible for Westlake and Cole to
communicate with Allie and Frankie.

The Defender catches up with the agents, who use the prototype weapon to
take out some of the weapons on the Defender. They shoot the side pod as
it's about to fire the static pulse, which disables vehicles (and sometimes
people) using a static charge, I guess. Westlake can't override the pulse,
so it stays in the car and goes off, disabling the Defender.

Becky turns off the highway into an old abandoned gas works, and the NSA
and Westlake and Cole follow. Before the NSA guys start shooting at them
again, they get Dr. Bishop, Becky, and the Defender into the main building.

Back at the Complex, Allie and Frankie are worried that they can't
communicate with Cole and Westlake and decide to find them using the homing
beacon in the Defender.

The NSA agents and the Viper team are in a standoff when Allie and
Frankie drive up in Allie's car. The NSA guys start firing on them, and Cole
has Westlake raise the door while he goes out to help Frankie and Allie get
inside the building. Westlake protests, saying she should go to, and Cole
tells her to stay put, "End of discussion."

Westlake stands at the door watching what's happening, and after Becky
walks up, decides she needs to go out and help. She tells Becky to stay at
the door and lower it as soon as everyone gets inside.

As soon as Cole sees Westlake he says "I thought I told you to stay
inside." To which she responds, "How were you planning on getting back?"

Cole, Frankie, and Westlake return fire while protecting Allie as they
get into the building. As they're moving towards the door you see Westlake
flinch a bit, but she keeps moving.

And that is where I pick up.




And now, on with the story....




Westlake stood listening to Allie and Cole, trying to focus on what was
being said about their situation. She felt disoriented, uneasy, like fog was
covering her brain, slowing her down. She holstered her weapon as the
adrenaline rush began to fade. She felt a pain in her side, but figured it
was probably from the excitement and running. Her hand touched something
wet and sticky... looking down she realized it was blood, her blood. She
could see a circle of red, slowly widening on her shirt.

Westlake didn't remember getting hit in the gunfight, the rush of being
in the standoff probably blocked all the pain. She heard Cole filling Allie
and Frankie in on what had happened since they'd lost their line of
communication.

"Speaking of bullets..." Westlake trailed off as the pain really started
to push through the adrenaline rush. Any strength she had left her at that
moment. Her legs were weak, and she started to fall to the floor. Cole
caught her first, and she leaned into him, her head on his shoulder, her face
next to his neck. She could feel his breath on her neck, and she tried to
focus on it, concentrate on it... on anything other than the pain in her side.

"Oh man!" Cole exclaimed, the last thing Westlake heard before she lost
consciousness.



Westlake could feel the cold floor she was lying on, but when she opened
her eyes, she was back at home, her parent's home, in her old bedroom,
sitting at her desk, the bright light of the lamp keeping her awake and
focused on her geography book, reliving a scene that happened when she was
fourteen.

"I hate geography..." she muttered, before focusing again on the chapter
review.

The sound of a car caught her ear, and she looked out her window onto the
driveway below. She held her breath when she saw it was a Metropol squad
car. Something was wrong, she knew it.

The doors of the car opened, and she saw two men get out. The passenger
was Lt. Benning, her "Uncle Harry", a close friend of her fathers. The
driver was in uniform, a patrolman... it took her a moment, but Cameron
finally recognized him as Officer Peary, another friend of her fathers.

Cameron stepped away from the window, her heart in her throat, pounding
hard. "Dad... Daddy..." she whispered, before moving to her door and
starting down the stairs to the front hall of her home.

She heard the knocking, and stopped on the stairs, not wanting to be the
one to answer the door. Standing partially in the shadows, she saw her
mother walk up to the door and open it. Lt. Benning and Officer Peary stood,
their faces somber. Peary had his hat in his hands, nervously playing with
the band.

Cameron crept down a few more stairs so she could hear the conversation
better.

Her mother took in the expressions on the two cops' faces, and took a
deep breath, steeling herself for whatever their reason for coming was.

"Well, I know this isn't a social call, Harold, so you might as well spit
it out... what is it? Where's Daniel?"

Benning's eyes focused on Sheila's face, the floor, his hands, and back
to Sheila. "He's dead," he finally answered her.

Cameron walked down to the last stair, holding her breath. She must have
heard him wrong. He wasn't dead... Daddy...

"I'm so sorry, Sheila... we found him in an alley, shot... we think he
was meeting an informant... something happened...went wrong..." Peary trailed
off, afraid to continue.

"I don't know what happened..." Benning began, stopping mid-sentence as
his gaze passed Sheila Westlake and onto the figure at the bottom of the
stairs.

Sheila noticed his attention was focused on something behind her, and she
turned around to see what it was.

Cameron was standing at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes wide, face
white. "Dad?" Cameron said, before turning and running up the stairs to her
room.

"Cammie!" Sheila ran up the stairs after her daughter. She heard her
bedroom door slam shut. "Oh, god, Cammie!"

Cameron stood on the other side of her bedroom door, leaning against it
for support, holding back tears.

"Cammie, open the door, sweetheart..." her mother said, before staring to
cry. Cameron could hear her sobs on the other side of the door. She heard
Uncle Harry trying to comfort her mother.

This is wrong, Dad should be here for her, she thought to herself. The
next moment she felt like a ton of bricks had been dropped on her, the
realization that he wouldn't be there, ever again, finally sank in. He was
gone. She tried to hold her tears in, but they came anyway, Cameron was
unable to hold them back anymore. Still unable to move from the door, she
slid down until she was sitting on the floor, crying, listening to her mother
and her father's best friend do the same on the other side of the door.




Opening her eyes was difficult, like there was something over them,
making them heavy. Cameron looked around her, taking in the bleak interior
of what must be a factory of some kind, and realized she was lying on the
cold cement floor. A moment ago she was back in her bedroom in her parents'
house... that happened years ago, but it had seemed like she was just there,
experiencing it all over again.

A heavy blanket was over her, and she remembered where and why she was
there. She'd been shot... just like her father... and now she was stuck,
trapped inside this place, with men ready to shoot her again waiting outside.
Her partners were with her, and there was nothing she could do to get them
out safely.

"Cole?" she spoke, in as loud a voice as she could manage, hoping he
heard her. She wanted to see him... find out what was going on, make sure he
was still okay.

A few seconds later she saw him walk into the alcove she and Dr. Bishop
were lying in. Bishop still hadn't regained consciousness.

Cole's face was drawn, he had his usual air of confidence around him, but it
was strained... like he wasn't really sure what to do next. That didn't
happen often.

Cole stood beside Westlake, and decided to stoop down beside her, looking
her over as she lay on the ground, arms still under the heavy blanket, and
face white.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

Westlake managed to smile a bit before responding, "I've been better."

Cole smiled back. "You're gonna be fine."

"The last thing anybody who feels like I do wants to hear is how fine
they'll be." Westlake gasped, the hole in her side making it's presence known
again.

Cole watched her gasp, and held his breath. "Is there anything I can
do?" he asked her.

She shook her head slightly. "No. How long was I out?"

This time it was his turn to shake his head. "Not long. Look, we're
getting ready to get out of here. Just hang tough a little while longer,
okay?"

Westlake nodded, and closed her eyes, trying to relax. She wanted to
believe Cole, and she knew he wanted her to believe him, but she was uneasy
about the situation.

"She means a lot to you, huh?" Becky asked Cole after he stood up.

"She's my partner," Westlake heard him respond before both he and Becky
walked back into the main area of the gasworks where Allie and Frankie were.
Once again she went to sleep, to have another dream manifest itself.




She straightened the tie on her uniform and took off her hat, put it back
on again, and finally decided to leave it off before she knocked on the door.
She held her breath, afraid of what the reaction would be on the other side,
but more afraid of turning and leaving. "She'll think it was my fault, it
was my fault," Westlake thought to herself. "I could have done something,
but I didn't..."

The door finally opened, and Westlake's heart sank at the sight of the
young woman holding an infant. Her throat was too dry, she couldn't speak.

"You must be Westlake... Terry told me about you."

She nodded, still unable to talk.

"Please, come in." She stepped aside, and Westlake followed her into the
apartment.

"I'm so sorry..." Westlake finally said, finding her voice.

"I know, thank you."

"Mrs. Carpenter..."

"Nia, please, Officer Westlake."

"Cameron."

"Cameron," Nia repeated. "I'm glad you came. Terry... Terry spoke so
highly of you." Nia dropped down on the couch and started sobbing, holding
her son tight. Westlake sat down beside her and awkwardly put her arm around
the young widow, unsure of what else to do. "I promise... I'll find him. He
won't get away with this."

Slowly, Nia's sobs stopped, and her tight grip on her son loosened as he
began to whimper.

Westlake reached over and took the boy from his mother, remembering Terry
talking about his son.

**Must be some kind of genius...**

She smiled, "So this is the infamous child prodigy."

Nia smiled at the comment even though she was wiping away tears. "Yes,"
she slowly responded. "Cameron... I want to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"Yes. Terry spoke very highly of you... and I know you did everything
you could at the bank."

Cameron looked down at the floor, avoiding looking at Nia. In her mind
she saw the chaos at the bank, reliving the moment she was lying on the
ground next to Terry Carpenter as he was shot by the man on the motorcycle.
"No, I didn't," she thought to herself guiltily. She kept her gaze downward,
playing pattycake with the baby. "Of course," she mumbled.




The noise cut through her dreams, bringing her out of her memories...
like a hatch being opened, slowly. Opening her eyes, Westlake looked up to
see a man in fatigues walking in the alcove. "Surely, he must be here to
help us," was her first thought... until she noticed his weapon. He was
aiming at something, or someone...

She took a deep breath and moved as fast as she could, reaching to her
side, relieved to find that her gun was still in it's holster. She pulled it
out and sat up as far as the pain would let her, watching the man as he got
ready to fire his weapon.

She took aim and fired, knowing that if she didn't take her shot he
would, and her partners would die. The shot hit him in the back, but not
before his finger pushed the trigger of his gun. The gun went off, firing
its rounds wildly around the inside of the abandoned gasworks.

Westlake gasped, hoping she shot him in time, that no one got hit. Cole
ran into the room as the man in fatigues hit the ground. He ran to Westlake,
and took her gun, running to the open tunnel, and shot inside the now open
passageway.

After Cole took her gun, she laid back down. Gradually, her heart slowed
and she closed her eyes again.




She tried to keep her mind off her father, but that's what it kept
wandering back to. How much she still missed him, and wondering... did he
know he was going to die? Did he die immediately, or linger, like she was,
before he stopped breathing? Westlake may have been a detective, but she
hadn't looked into her own father's murder, at least not yet.

When did I convince myself I'm not going to make it, she wondered. She
thought of her mother, and of how unhappy she was when Cameron told her she
was going to attend the police academy after graduating from college. The
last thing she wanted to do to her was hurt her mother again, like this, with
another death in the family. The memories came flooding back, eyes open or
closed, she could still see her mother.

"Congratulations, Cammie. I know it's what you want." The words came out
more than a bit bitter, not as congratulatory as they seemed at face value.

Cameron rolled her eyes. This was exactly the reaction she'd expected to
get from her mother... this disdain.

"Mom, why can't you be happy for me?"

"I am happy, Cameron. You're doing what you want... you always were your
father's daughter... sometimes... nevermind."

Cameron walked over and stood in front of her mother, not letting her get
out of the conversation. "Sometimes what?"

Sheila sighed, and looked her daughter in the face. "You don't
understand, Cameron. All your life you've been surrounded by cops... you
don't know what it's like to have a normal family... one where you don't
worry if the next time they go on shift... will be the one they won't come
back from."

Cameron watched her mother, unsure of what to say... how do you respond
to that?

"It's not that I'm not proud of you and your brothers... but I am a
mother... I do wish at least one of my children had opted to go into
engineering, or insurance, and not law enforcement."

Sheila looked at her daughter, "Cammie... I know you made the right
choice. This is what you want, go for it. I am happy for you, really. And
I know your father is too. Besides," Sheila continued, "I know your father
will look out for you. Watch yourself, you do anything wrong and he'll find
a way to haunt you."




The outside world just wouldn't leave her alone to rest, the pain kept
her wanting to sleep, but the noise and light kept waking her up. Her
eyelids weren't as heavy anymore, opening them was a bit easier this time.
Westlake opened her eyes and saw Cole crouched beside her, his head in one of
his hands.

"You look like hell, Cole."

Cole dropped his hand, and looked at Westlake, laughing a bit. "So do
you, Westlake."

She smiled back at his comeback. "Yeah, well I got a slug in my gut,
what's your excuse?"

He shook his head a bit and grinned at her. "Just livin' the hard life,
I guess." He was relieved to see her smile back. "Westlake..."

"What is it?" She watched him, waiting for him to continue. He looked
at her for a few seconds, not saying anything.

From somewhere out in the bigger room, Westlake heard Becky calling for
Cole. "Cole, they're up to something out there."

Cole looked in Becky's direction, then back at Westlake, his expression
slightly annoyed at being interrupted, but he got up and walked away to
assess the situation outside.

Westlake closed her eyes again, finally deciding she was used to the
fading in and out of consciousness that was affecting her. Probably better
that she did keep passing out, and didn't know what was going on outside.





Sandburg pulled the squad car to a stop, behind a red Viper sports car.
"Awfully late at night to sit in an alley, wouldn't you say? Let's go see
what this joker's doing here."

"Why not?" Westlake replied. "Let's go, partner."

Sandburg hesitated. "Nah, you go, rookie. See if he talks to the
chick." He winked at Westlake.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right."

Westlake got out of the car and walked up to the passenger side of the
car. "Sir, mind if I ask what you're doing here?"

"Yeah, I mind." The man behind the wheel responded, before turning to
face her. His longish brown hair was blowing in the sight breeze, giving him
a sort of renegade appearance. He looked Westlake up and down, and smirked
at her. "I'm just enjoying the view, officer."

Westlake kept a straight face, putting on her best stern demeanor. "And
the back of bars and a strip joint... what a view it is."

"Well, to each their own, right?" He kept his hands on his steering
wheel, watching Westlake closely.

"Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to move along. I can't
have you loitering in the alley."

"Of course, officer. I'll just be on my way." He sarcastically
responded, starting the car.

"Thank you, sir," Westlake replied, before turning and walking back to
the squad car. She heard him talking on his car phone before he drove away.

"Nothing, Julian, just a run in with Dirty Harriet..."

Westlake bit her tongue and kept walking back to the car. She opened the
door and got in, slamming it shut.

"Problems?" Sandburg asked her, a grin on his face.

"No, nothing," replied Westlake, but then continued, "Dirty Harriet... I
should have cited him..."

Sandburg laughed. "Got to keep that temper under control, Westlake."

She shot him a glare from her side of the car.

"Ah, like father, like daughter. You never know, it's probably a good
thing you didn't try and cite him. He could have been the Viper Defender
guy."

Westlake rolled her eyes again. "Oh, come on! You don't believe all
that crap, do you?"

Sandburg started the car and began pulling out of the alley. "You never
know, Westlake, you never know."






Once again the noise wasn't letting her sleep, so she kept her eyes shut,
and listened. Besides her mother, she'd dreamed about explosives and
generators and the defender...

The noises were getting louder, more footsteps, coming closer to her.
Westlake panicked, realizing she no longer had her gun, Cole had taken it
earlier. She opened her eyes, expecting to see more men in fatigues, but
instead saw paramedics. "Oh, god," she gasped, the stress of the situation
starting to really get her emotional.

"Ma'am, we're going to get you out of here as soon as we can," a female
paramedic on her right side said. Westlake looked to her left and saw
another team treating Dr. Bishop.

"Okay," she responded, and zoned out listening to the paramedics and
their med-lingo. Eventually, they got her stabilized and on a gurney, ready
to roll to the ambulance.

The air outside the stuffy room she'd been in seemed so fresh, the sky so
bright. "I'm like someone in a movie, who's screaming what a wonderful day
to be alive after a near death experience," she thought.

She heard Cole's voice, but she couldn't see him, he was somewhere close.

"Hang on a minute," he asked the paramedics, who stopped before lifting
her up into the ambulance.

"They got you stabilized. Doc says you're gonna be okay." He said,
looking down at her, relief on his face.

Westlake looked at him, and remembered their last conversation in the
gasworks, when he'd started to tell her something. "What was that you were
gonna say to me inside?"

"Just... that you'd better pull through this fast. I don't want to break
in a replacement. Take care." He motioned for the paramedics to continue,
and Westlake felt the jostling of the gurney being pushed inside the
ambulance. The doors shut, and it pulled away, away from her dreams and
nightmares. She hoped the painkillers killed her dreams as well.

© 2000, SEG Home Sweet Cyber Home
comments? det_westlake@hotmail.com