Disclaimer: Not one of these characters belong to me.

He recognized the 'clip-clop' of her heels immediately, but he ignored her steady descent, focusing instead on the silky wood beneath his hand and the rasp of sandpaper on the next rib of his boat. He knew why she was here, and it was not something he wanted to face right now.

The redheaded woman on the stairs had other ideas.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, you are an idiot." She continued with a string of invectives in several languages that were, on the whole, quite creative, but he really didn't have the patience for her temper right now, so he held up his hand in a gesture of warning. The swearwords ceased.

"Ya think, Jen?"

She sank down to seat herself on the bottom stair, watching him with the steady, penetrating gaze he knew so well, and he suddenly heaved a sigh an sat down next to her, resting his head in his hands. His next words were muffled, but his partner of fifteen years could read him no matter what the circumstances.

"I lost her, Jenny. And I'll never get her back."

She wrapped a companionable arm about his shoulders, her hand tracing soothing circles on his back. She had entered the room absolutely furious, but Jethro's abject depression had stolen all the anger, and now all she could do was be there.

He raised his head to look her straight in the eyes, and her next words gave him the first glimmer of hope he'd felt all day.

"She still loves you."

Naked longing glowed in his eyes, and she patted his shoulder and said, "Yeah, she does."

"Jethro, she left because she knew you were still mourning Shannon and Kelly. You haven't given yourself a chance to be happy since their deaths. Oh, in Paris you seemed to forget, just a little, but I knew that I was not the woman you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with. What we had was special, and you will always have a bit of my heart… but we're too much alike.

"And then you met Holly, and I thought… at last, you'd let yourself be happy. And you were, for awhile. But you felt so much guilt that you shut yourself off from her, and when she heard that tape she thought she'd never have all of you.

"Jethro, they're gone. And they want you to be happy. Shannon wouldn't want you to stop living just because of a tragic accident. What happened was not your fault. Shannon knows that, Kelly knows that, but in fifteen years you still haven't figured it out!!!"

"But if I hadn't…"

"NO!"

He glanced at her, startled.

"Did you ever think that maybe, this was part of some bigger plan?"

His next glance was skeptical.

"I know you don't believe in that stuff, really, but think about it. If they hadn't… well, you never would have come to NCIS. You would never have seen the potential in a smart-alecky Baltimore cop or a Secret Service agent who made a bad call in her personal life or a Mossad assassin who needed refuge or an M.I.T. computer geek. You never would have met Abby. You never would have met me. Would Shannon want you to throw all that away? You knew her, Jethro. You know she'd want you to live."

"What do I do, Jen?" His voice was soft and anxious and just a little vulnerable.

She handed him the envelope tucked in her jacket pocket and said, "You use this. You go after someone who can make you happy. And you promise me you will do your best not to screw it up again."

She stood with him, and he hugged her tightly, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Thank you, Jen."

"You're welcome, Jethro."

Long after her echoing footsteps had faded, he stood staring at the airline ticket in his hand, hoping he could fix his biggest mistake.

Then he strode up the stairs and began to pack.

~*~

The airport was bustling; weary travelers were dragging suitcases off transatlantic flights, and young children were carrying bright backpacks and straying too far from their parents. Halogen lights glowed in strips on the twenty-foot ceiling, and echoed shouts of both greeting and farewell echoed through the enormous hallway.

In the midst of this chaos, Gibbs stood silently, suitcase handle in one hand. The other arm was wrapped about the pale, dark-haired young woman at his side.

Abby Sciuto studied her old friend carefully, noting his bloodshot eyes and tense shoulders. Her arm was wrapped around his waist, and she fit neatly under his shoulder. He stood silent and still, looking for gate 10B. That flight would take him to Los Angeles, where he'd board another plane for the journey to Hawaii. He'd wanted to make his departure alone, but a slow week meant that Abby wasn't needed at the lab, and she'd insisted on coming along.

The boarding call echoed from the intercom, and the pair hurried over to the seating area in front of the gate. A line was already beginning to form, but Jenny had squirreled away enough NCIS funds to book him a first-class ticket.

Abby had almost knocked the Director over with her hug when she found that out.

"This is the first-class boarding call for Flight XC429 to Los Angeles!"

Gibbs looked at Abby, panic in his eyes.

She shoved him gently towards the gate, saying, "Go, Bossman. Go get her."

He hugged his friend tightly for a long moment. Then he released her, squared his shoulders, kissed her cheek, and strode through the gate door.

She gazed after him for quite some time.

~*~

The first thing he did once airborne was to call Tony.

"Yeah, Boss."

"DiNozzo. You're in charge of the team."

"…until when?"

"Until I get back."

"…so you are coming back?"

"Can't leave you unsupervised for too long, DiNozzo."

His sigh of relief was audible.

"On it, boss. Can I, uh… ask why?"

"I'm on my way to Hawaii."

"Wha… oh. Oh."

"Say one word, DiNozzo…"

"'Course not, Boss. And – ah – good luck."

"Thanks."

~*~

She was lying on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest. The sun was bright and warm, and the ocean sparkled blue and inviting outside her window, but all Hollis Mann could do was stay on her bed with an icy fist clenched around her heart.

She'd let herself love him.

She'd let herself love him, and in that moment, she'd opened herself up to hurt she'd never felt before.

The soft knock echoed on her door. She groaned, not wanting to move, but she dutifully uncurled herself and strode across the room to open the door.

And she thought she might faint.

He was there.

He'd come after her.

He scrubbed a hand through his hair, looking abashed and lost.

Her heart went out to him. But she wasn't quite ready to forgive him just yet.

"I screwed up, Holly."

"You think, Jeth?" Even as mad as she was, she couldn't stop the nickname slipping through her lips. "Come in. Let's thrash this thing out. If you spent ten hours on a plane, I know you're here of your own free will… or Jenny pounded sense into you."

The look in his eyes immediately told her that her second guess was correct.

"Talk to me."

He sank onto the bed with a weary sigh.

"Ducky told you about Shannon."

She nodded.

"She was… light. She was fun. She… kept my ass in line, but I knew… it was because she loved me. I knew I was hers, all hers, the first time I looked at her. And then she was gone, and I thought someone had torn my heart out of my chest. It was like… my life was gone. My reason to live.

"I came to NCIS. Met Jenny… I was happy with her. We needed each other, at that point. She was good for me, but we both knew it was a temporary thing. We stayed friends… close friends. I'll always have a soft spot for that woman. Love her to death.

"Got my own team, then. Got myself tangled up with a Baltimore cop, a Secret Service agent, a Mossad assassin, and a computer geek. Met Abs, too. Cared about them. I began to feel again, just a little. I love my team. They're like those squirrelly nieces and nephews you take in after their parents get killed… you wanna swat 'em, sometimes, but god forbid anyone else try and do the same. I was… not happy, but content.

"Then I met you. I remember seeing you, striding across the grass on that damn golf course, wearing fatigues with your hair braided back in that style I have yet to figure out. And I swear someone just attached battery wires to my heart, because it stopped dead for a few seconds and then started going like a jackrabbit.

"But I was scared. Shannon… meant so much. I'll always love her. I felt like I was betraying her, with what I had with you. Then Jenny came over. Talked some sense into me.

"So here I am. I'm here, and I'm yours, and you can kick my ass back to the Continent or – "

She kissed him, hard and fierce with a month of pent-up anger and guilt and sorrow and grief.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." She said it over and over against his mouth, and his arms slipped around her and held her tight.

He put his hands on her shoulders, looked her square in the eyes, and said something he swore he'd never say to another woman.

"I love you, Holly."

Tears pricked her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She buried her face in his shoulder, and they held each other. And then he buried his face against her hair, and his breath hitched a little, and he cried the way he'd needed to cry for fifteen years. And she just sat and held him, held him as he fell apart in her arms.

His anchor in the storm.

~*~

They curled up to sleep that night on the bed. She had her legs draped over his, her head resting on his chest with her strawberry-blonde hair fanned out. His cheek rested on the top of her head, and for the first time in years, he slept without waking.

~*~

They caught the next flight out. He'd never even unpacked, and she'd been living out of a suitcase, hoping against hope her clothes would never go anywhere but her own dresser. She hadn't even sold her house.

He'd grinned a particularly silly-looking grin when she told him that.

~*~

They strolled into his bullpen hand in hand. The team's reactions were not entirely unexpected.

Tony had a smirk on his face, but his eyes conveyed genuine happiness for his boss.

McGee looked rather startled, but that faded from his face to be replaced by a brilliant smile.

Abby, naturally, hurtled out of the elevator and launched herself warp-speed into his arms. Then she winked slyly at Holly, who just beamed and wrapped a companionable arm about her shoulders.

Ziva gazed at him with a soft smile on her lips and wistfulness in her eyes.

He didn't miss that most of that wistfulness was directed at his senior agent.

Ducky just exchanged a look of understanding with his old friend.

And Jenny… well, she looked rather like a cat who'd managed to gulp a pint of cream.

~*~

"Hello – General Baker's office please… Bill! It's Jen. So great to talk to you! Listen, I don't think you'll be needing to replace the Lieutenant Colonel after all… yes, I know it means a lot of paperwork, Bill. But you wouldn't mind doing it… as a personal favor to me, you understand. …You didn't! Good to hear. I did the same thing when Jethro decided to return to us after his sojourn in Mexico. …Yes, yes of course I will. Yes, I'm sure she'll be happy to report at 0700 first thing Monday. …No, of course she didn't expect to be on paid leave. …Thank you so much, Bill! Ciao!"

And then Jennifer Shepard beamed at the strawberry-blonde woman seated next to Gibbs, kissed her old friend on the cheek, and whispered in his ear, "Trust me, Jethro. If you fuck this up, I will make your life a living hell."

"I know." He responded softly. "And Jen? …Thank you."

She just smiled.

Her work was done.

A/N: This is actually the second installment of my Learning to Breathe series, which chronicles the relationship of Gibbs and Hollis Mann from their initial meeting in "Sandblast" through God-knows-when, since, in my own personal NCIS canon, Gibbs chased Hollis to Hawaii (after a serious kick in the ribs from Jenny Shepard), finally told her he loved her, and pulled a few strings to get her old position back. The first episode of the series, a multi-chapter fic tentatively titled Falling Slowly, will cover the entirety of their relationship from "Sandblast" through "Ex-File". Following this story is a fic that will occur right after "Judgement Day" and Jenny's unfortunate death, a piece of pure smut (tentatively Slow Burn), and then another multi-chapter casefile. I intend to take this series as far as my plot bunnies allow, but I will follow NCIS canon to the letter. Enjoy!

As you may have noticed, this contains no smut. Jenny is also much gentler than I imagined going in. Count on the NCIS characters to hijack my plans. Joint Investigation will be edited to comply with the version of events laid out in this fic. As I am going to serve as a counsellor at an equestrian camp in Louisiana this summer, Falling Slowly will begin posting in the fall of '09, most likely at the beginning of September. I may post Slow Burn in late July. I'm sorry for the wait, but there's really nothing else for it, since I will have no computer access at all while in Louisiana.

Reviews make me spin around, do a happy dance, and sit down to write. So yes, I like them. Flames will be used to toast marshmallows for use in s'mores to eat while I read my nice and/or constructive reviews.

Cheers,

~*Equestrienne Dreams*~