Okay, so Harry Potter is runnin' around all like "BEWARE MY WAND!" but then, he sees this metal tube that has this tag that says RESPECT THE SABER, OR YOU WILL DIE!. But Harry Potter's all like "Curses aren't real!" so he kicks the thing and this beam of light comes out of it and makes this zhiuooo sound. And Harry Potter's all like "HOLY CRAAAAAAAAP!"

The lightsaber was cursed,

and if that pathetic excuse for a wizard wasn't such an idiot,

he wouldn't have dissed it,

and got stabbed in the heart,

and reduced to ewok food.