A/N: I decided to have a little fun and give you guys an extra little treat. I always love watching gag reels on DVD's, so being as how I wrote Croatoa to read more like a movie, I've decided to include my own gag reel! I've abbreviated names for simplicity: Justin Bartha (Riley) = JB, Nicholas Cage (Ben) = NC, Diane Kruger (Abigail) = DK, Harvey Keitel (Sadusky) = HK, Jon Voight (Patrick) = JV, Helen Mirren (Emily) = HM, and anyone who isn't a real person will be labeled by their character names. I also identified the parts the "scenes" came from so you can reread how they actually played out in case you forgot. Enjoy! :)


Part 1:

JB: Listen, while you've been running around playing the President's personal puppet boy-

NC: Riley-

JB: You're a regular Pinnochio

NC: Riley-

JB: Tell me, Ben, is there a cricket sitting on your shoulder right now?

NC: Riley!

JB (in a mock little kid voice): I wanna be a real boy!

NC screws up his face, trying not to laugh. He fails and starts cracking up. JB runs around set holding up the prop phone in a victory lap.

Director: Cut!


Part 3:

JB is sitting in front of a computer pretending to play chess. The computer flashes the "You Win" screen.

JB: Ngh! Take that!

He stands up and points at the screen.

JB: You thought you were better than me?! You're not better than me! In your face!

He proceeds to dance around in a circle, pointing at the computer and singing "in your face" every time he gets around.

Director (laughing): Cut!

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JB starts falling to the ground, reaching a hand out to pull the cell phone down with him off the desk. He misses it on the way down. Dramatically, he flings himself back up onto his knees, arms scrabbling across the desk. With much panting and groaning, he reaches the phone and pulls it down next to him onto the ground. The other actors on set are trying to hide their smiles.

JB (whispering hoarsely): Ben! Ben! Remember the aardvark!

He rolls back his eyes and thunks his head down on the floor, lies there for a sec, and twitches once before going still.

Director: Cut!

Cast and crew laugh and clap while JB stands up and takes a bow.


Part 7:

DK (pulling out books): What's he going to do with all these?

NC: Well, I think his goal was to hang these (shakes his head) – hang on to these – hang these? Yes, he's going to hang all these up on his walls. His whole apartment, every wall, will be lined with the pages of these books. It'll be the new craze in home decoration – he'll be famous in no time. Martha Stewart will have nothing on Riley!

Director: Cut!


Part 11:

HK: Did you know there are over three hundred and fifty people in the United States now that go by the name Elizabeth Drake?

NC: Really? That is fascinating! How many people have my name?

DK: No, do mine!

JV: I'm older, do me first!

HM: But I wear the pants around here – my name should be first!

HK: Wait, wait, wait!...Now, I'm the agent, here, so I'm doing my name first.

HK runs over to the computer and pretends to type in his name.

Director: Cut!

Cast laugh as they go back to their positions.


Part 15:

JB picks up the chair and "limps" with it over to "Drake." He moves around in front of it keeping his eyes on her and goes to plop down into the chair, but it rolls back a little and he misses it. He falls down to the floor off-screen.

"Drake": Oh! Justin? Are you okay?

JB (laughing): Medic! (laughs again) I think I really did hurt my knee! No, I'm just kidding.

He springs up off the ground, checks the chair, and sits very deliberately into it. He sticks out his leg and proceeds to roll up his pants in a very risqué fashion.

Director: Cut! Are you okay?

JB laughs, nodding, then covers his reddening face with his hand.

JB: That's going in the blooper reel, isn't it?


Part 17:

NC slips money into "Rickland's" hands. "Rickland" let's out a "whooweee!" and starts dancing around in a circle kicking his legs up in the air. NC, DK, "Miller", and "Tilton" join him.

Director: Cut!

They keep dancing.

Director: Cut!

Crew members run on set and join in the dance.

Director: Oh, what the heck?

Director runs in front of camera and starts dancing with everyone else.


Part 19:

"Tilton": It's the jingle for Lucky Charms!

"Miller" is about to say her line when JB enters the scene in the background, hopping across the set sideways from leg to leg, waving his arms.

JB: Frosted Lucky Charms! They're magically delicious!

He proceeds to hop all the way across the set and off screen. The rest of the cast just stares. NC suddenly stands up and runs after him.

NC: Riley! Come baaaaaaaaack!!!!!!

JB (off screen): Ye can't get me Lucky Charms!!!

Director: Cut!


Part 20:

JB is lying on the ground, cupping his ear.

JB (in a breathy, girly voice): Agh! You hit me! (he smiles) Do it again, you naughty, naughty girl!

"Drake" busts into laughter. "Evan" jumps down from the tree and leans over JB, pretending to kiss him. "Joseph" runs up and grabs both in a big bear hug. They release and JB stands up, flamboyantly flipping a loose hair from his face.

JB (still in breathy girly voice): Thanks, boys! Call me!

He places his hands on his hips and struts off the set.

Director: Cut!


A/N: Ah! There were so many, many more but I didn't want to make this too long! I hope you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Maybe I'll do more later...