Chapter 1
Most people are afraid of death. I'm not. I guess after fighting almost all my life against almost every being that could be thrown at me, the fear was drilled out. At age 16 I had been put through hell, battered bruised and beaten and yet I still stood defiant. I had then lived, got married, had children and did everything a normal person would do in his lifetime. Sure I had been made a 'hero'. I really just wanted to get on with my life.
After the war ended I finally realised my feelings for Annabeth, my soul mate in almost every sense of the world. After 2 years we were engaged and after 4, we were happily married. 2 years later My 2 daughters, Skye and Ariana were born. We wanted more but Annabeth had injured herself giving birth and she could no longer have children. For years we lived happily as a family. We had successful jobs, watched our children grow up, watch our children's children grow up and grow old. As we neared the ending of our days we decided to try for rebirth. We knew it was a long shot that we would ever find each other again but we had hope and that was all that mattered. We were in love and we would not fail. I suppose the hardest part of all was watching Annabeth die. She didn't go in her sleep. She died of cancer. I had to watch as her final few months of life got dimmer and dimmer and I could not numb the pain in my heart that was growing every second of the time I watched her laboured breath. She was 61. That's really not even that old. I sat next to her hospital bed squeezing her ice cold fingers and watched the light leave her stormy grey eyes. For an hour she had lay there without as much as a word. Just before the end she simply said two words.
"Remember me"
I tried to get on with my life but it was impossible. Even my own daughter could not save me from my own guilt. I didn't kill myself but I might as well had. My soul was gone. I was empty. I lived like a hermit for a while. My skin grew white from where I never went outside. No sun, no talking. For years I never opened my mouth to say so much as a word. My daughter Skye tried to talk to me, make me see reason but to no avail. As I grew near my 71st birthday I grew very ill. I could have called the doctor but I didn't. I could have called my children but I didn't. Besides I hadn't spoken to them in over 3 years. I just wanted to die and be with my darling Annabeth. I got sicker and sicker. Eventually the pain was too much and did call Sky and Ariana one last time.
They stayed with me for the last of my life; 3 days. I never wanted them to see my like this. What had happened to me? Hero of the Titan Wars reduced to a shadow of a man. My father would be ashamed of me. As I sat there with my children, begging for forgiveness, I prayed to my father. I prayed for him to forgive me for all the days that I had wasted. I looked at both my children sat around my deathbed thinking to myself how did I let it get this fucked up? I felt my body shudder and Ariana put a damp cloth on my forehead. I was burning up…not long now. I looked at her adoringly. Every time I looked at them both they reminded me of her mother. Ariana had shoulder length black hair, the same colour as mine but she still held the same dark eyes her mother did. Skye kept her mothers blonde curls but her eyes were sea green like my very own; like our kids were ourselves mirrored in two ways.
I lay on my death bed thinking that maybe, just maybe, I should have been a better father. I had spent so much time wallowing in my own self pity at my wife's loss that I had never once stopped to think of my girls. I had thought that because they were adults they did not need me to help them through their mother's death, which they could deal with their grief themselves without a father figure. What made me figure that out I don't know but I did and now I can't change that because I'm dying. I couldn't even open my mouth to tell them how much I love them because if I did I would have screamed. I was in so much pain. I had to breathe shallow because every time I took a deep breath I coughed up blood. I had two grandkids that could have been here but I didn't want them to see this. It was hard enough making my daughters deal with it bringing anyone else here could make me break down and cry. The look of horror on my children's faces at that moment was probably the most I could take. I hated myself for calling them but at the same time I was glad I did.
As I was getting closer and closer to death, Skye went out of the room to get some morphine out of her bag; she was a paramedic and I had called her while she was on call. She brought a needle in and injected me with the drug. My limbs slowly lost all feeling and my mind grew more and more tired. I was old so my mind was already at its limit when it was healthy. I lay down for a while, flitting in and out of consciousness, knowing that it couldn't be long now. I could feel my own heartbeat slowing. So much I wanted to say. I opened my mouth and was surprised when sound came out. I hadn't been able to talk for a few days and what came out was more like a grunt or a hum but it was a sound…and it startled me. I couldn't hold on for much longer. I was slipping. I had to say what I wanted to say now or I will never get another chance. Ariana, who was closest to the bed at the time noticed this sound immediately and lent over my bed and talked to me softly.
"Father…" She looked intently into my eyes. I could dark streaks where her tears had stained her makeup. She was 49 years old and she was still the most beautiful thing in the world to me…well tied with Skye. Skye came into the room briskly at the sound of my voice. Red bags had formed under her eyes where she had been crying. You could see age in her face but she still had smooth skin. Both of them. I tried not to cry as I realised that this was probably the last few minutes I will spend with her…ever. I realised this is it, so I opened my mouth and had the final conversation, the one I wish I had more time to say.
"Ariana…my dear" I rasped. My throat felt scratchy from illness. The morphine was making it hard to make cohesive thought. I pushed on.
"I am so sorry…I have failed as a father. I…I…I should have been there for you after your mother died…instead…I…I" I could feel my life leaving me.
"I bailed…I'm so-"she held her hand up and took my hand. She looked deep in my eyes. She spoke very sternly
"Don't apologise father. I love you…we all make mistakes". She put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"I just wish…I had more time" I said. Skye smiled at my kindly. Her smile was exactly like Annabeths.
"Don't we all" she whispered. She turned away in an attempt not to let me see her cry. I loved how even now she would try and protect my feelings. One of the many things I would miss about her. My body was starting to feel weaker and I could almost feel my organs shutting down…one by one. My vision was starting to blur. I could vaguely see Skye rummaging around in a draw and fishing out what looked to be gold coins; Golden drachmas. To pay the ferryman…
"Father I love you" my daughters both spoke in unison. I tried to laugh but all I could muster was a grunt. I took Skye's hand in my other arm, now holding them both on either side, the two most important girls in my life after my wife. I tried to clear my throat as I spoke my final words.
"I love you too my dears...goodbye…Annabeth…I'm coming". And then I closed my eyes. All the strength I was holding on to, to keep my heart beating was no longer needed. I lay there in deaths warm embrace waiting to be rejoined with my one and only. My love.
