Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
In which Dumbledore thinks to buy an industrial vacuum cleaner and sucks Voldemort out of Quirrel's turban, places him in an unbreakable flask and forces him to dance to Christina Aguilera's 'Genie in a Bottle' by shaking said flask sporadically.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
In which Harry takes advantage of the young Voldemort's self esteem issues and exaggeratedly points out that he will turn in to a really ugly old man and never get laid again. So the poor boy, who was perhaps just a little bit emo to begin with anyway, kills himself without further ado.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
In which Sirius thinks to spend just a few dollars on rat bait. Alternatively he could invest in a good camera at the very least.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
In which Harry has AIDs and Voldemort learns the importance of sterilizing surgical instruments.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
In which Voldemort realises, if he was just going to waltz into the ministry at the end anyway, he might as well have just taken himself there to begin with. Also in which Harry dies, because he was a douche… really.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
In which the characters organise a discussion circle to establish better communications. For example:
Draco: I need to kill Dumbledore
Dumbledore: I'm dying anyway
Draco: Super
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
… Material overload.
