Kyon's defeat

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

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I stare up at the darkening sky, the ground beneath me feels nice, cooling to the touch, steady in the storming sea of madness that surrounds me.

I don't think I'll be able to get back up this time, this is the end, the end of everything. I can't even summon the strength to complain about it. I'm unable to move, even blinking takes more effort than what should be possible. So how could I even think of rising to my feet?

I wonder if everyone will blame me for whatever it is that'll happen next. Will they forgive me for being unable to stand? Will they thank me, for getting back up so many times before?

It doesn't matter anymore. None of it matters anymore. What will happen after this? I couldn't say… but I know that this is my end, there is nothing left for me here anymore, so let me just lie here, staring into the dark sky that is so very high above our heads, let me forget about this world that begs me to stand once more.

There is nobody left for me to lean on, they're all gone now. They too disappeared with her, leaving me alone to crawl back up to my feet, desperate for some manner of salvation from this. But I know now that salvation will not come to me, so I'm a little relieved to be alone, knowing that there is nobody here to give me any false hope of redemption.

I can't stand the thought of continuing to walk down this road, knowing that she isn't here by my side any longer. How can I rise to my feet when I'm unable to even breathe?

I'm fine with this, I don't mind the thought of all of it ending right now. I wonder if I've given up on this world? It feels as if I'm drowning in darkness, the only thing still keeping me afloat are my memories of her, but I know that it's a futile struggle. So won't you just let me rest in peace?

To surrender and stop trying to get back up, to simply lay here, watching that dark sky above me. Forgetting about this world and it's inhabitants, forgetting about all that will end if I don't get back up.

The darkness above me is calling, singing a song just for me, with a voice that I never thought that I'd be able to hear again. It burns me, reaching far into what I could only describe as a soul. Tearing it to pieces along with this still beating heart of mine.

My lungs fills with air once more, the tears that I thought had long since dried out, begin to stream down my face once more. I will not forget this world. This is my world, and you're not ending it without a fight.

I must stand, because she would never forgive me if I crawled, and so I crawl to my feet once more, not caring if it's hopeless. Because it doesn't matter anymore. Even if this world ends, even if there's nothing I could do to stop it. I will stand on my feet, refusing to back down. I'll probably lose, but until I do, I'll fight with all that I have.

Me, fighting… I never thought that I'd see the day. I don't like fighting, never have, probably because I've never been very good at it. And yet I will fight, not in order to protect this world, but in order to protect… her.

'I must be going insane', is the thought that passes through my head as I stare ahead of me.

But that doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that she's crying. She's destroying everything, ending it all, but she's crying. And that means that I must continue to walk forward.

So that I may tell her that she's beyond comparison, my only light in this endless darkness, my only hope of ever truly living.

That no matter how much I complain and grumble, I'll always struggle to be able to stand next to her, because none of the things that she puts me through, can ever be compared to her smile.

The smiling face, of the girl that I love with all of my heart.

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A/n: I don't have a clue what's going on, so don't ask...