We made ten promises. Just Ten. Nothing to serious. Just to have some simple ground.
1. Please stay with me as much as possible.
I'd be alone without you. It is comforting with you at my side. Brushing hands at meetings. You leaning on me when you got bored at them. I'd be by your side during training. During battle, to make sure we both were ok. Its nice to have you by my side. I don't feel lonely or as anxious and upset.
2. Your trying to follow orders, and I shouldn't suddenly kick you.
It took me a day or two but I stopped. Instead I'd tap your shoulder, help correct the little mistakes. I'd help instead of hurt.
3. Just trust you.
You said trusting you would make you happy. So I did and you always came through. You trusted me and I trusted you. I kept you out of chains and you believed in me.
4. Come back alive.
When we leaved for a mission we had a quick kiss, for luck. I stayed with you and made sure you were ok. We protected each other in battle, even if you needed a bit more help then me. We made sure to come out alive and together. We'd kiss after as a victory.
5. Talk.
I know I don't talk much and I make shit jokes, but you liked to talk. So I opened up. I smiled a little and joined in the conversation. Everyone was so surprised but you were happy. So I talked for you.
6. Treat you like a human. You couldn't bear to be a monster.
I already considered you human. You weren't a monster, even though everyone thought you were. I defended you as much as I could. You cried human tears and laughed like a person. Your smile was genuine. What else could you be but human.
7. Your going to argue, but I should hear you out.
And you did argue, not a lot, but enough. I listened to your side of the story and what you thought was unfair, I made some changes to help. I made it easier and everyone was happy, especially you.
8. If you ever lost control of your titan self, you wanted me to kill you.
And it happened. You lost it. We gave you a few minutes to see if you pull out of it, but you didn't. You fucking didn't. Soldiers moved in to take you out. But I knew that isn't what you wanted. I ordered to the soldiers to retreat, they questioned me, but they did. I swooped in next to you. You looked at me before trying to attack me. That's when i knew you were gone. I pulled back out of your grasp. I launched off and spun around your head to the back of your neck and slashed you out. Their was nothing I could do. You knew if you lost control, you'd had to die, you couldn't just promise not to transform. You groaned a little as I flew off with you. The rest of the squad had already left. They gave me some space. You were still dazed. I hugged you close and kissed your forehead. You were almost conscious now.
"Levi?" You whispered, and you hugged me.
"I love you," I choked out as I started to cry, "I'm so sorry." I pulled my sword out and stabbed you through your heart. .
9. Don't blame myself.
I tried, I tried so hard not to. But I was the one who let you transform, I was the one who had to watch you. I was the one who fucking stabbed you through the heart. Who ended your life. How can I not blame myself. But I blamed myself less, for you. I wouldn't blame myself for you. Because I love you.
10. As you die, stay by your side. And don't forget, that I really love you.
You went limp on my shoulder.
"I love.. you.. too," You said as you cried on my shoulder. You tried to hug me but it hurt to much, so I just hugged you tighter. And I did, I hugged you tight as you lost your warmth. I kissed your forehead a thousand times and rubbed your back. I whispered i loved you so many times I lost my voice. I stayed with you long after you were dead, just hugging you and kissing your forehead. I didn't want you to leave me, I didn't. I hoped all of it was a dream but it wasn't. And I didn't leave you there, I carried you to the cart and gave you the most comfortable spot. I sat next to you for the rest of the mission just holding your limp hand. I didn't stop crying until everyone returned and we began to head back. Even then I just held your hand, not wanting to let go.
And I said, "I love you." One last final time as we burned your body.
