Disclaimer: I don't own BTR or any of its characters.
A/N: Hi! I have had this idea for a while, but I wasn't sure how to start it off, I hope it's too bad. On with the story!
James' P.O.V
"You did what?!" he shouted at me, eyes wide in shock and horror.
"I cancelled your date with Camille" I shrugged.
"Don't do that!" he shouted angrily.
"Do what?" I asked acting innocent.
"You know exactly what you are doing"
"I just cancelled your date, no big deal"
"No big deal" he said with so much anger I half expected laser's to shoot out of his eyes.
He looked at me for a while and then left without saying another word. Ok, I think I might have gone a bit overboard, but why is he so angry over a date with Camille? Does he like her that much? I dreaded the answer to those questions.
I headed towards Logan's and Carlos' room and knocked "Logan, you in there?"
I heard sniffling, so I opened the door. Logan was lying on his bed, face down in his pillows, shoulders shaking. I walked over and sat down on his bed, my hand rubbing his back.
"I'm sorry, Logan. If I knew you liked her this much I wouldn't have cancelled your date" I said, my heart breaking at every word I spoke.
"I-It's n-not th-that" he said stuttering
"Then what is it?" I asked confused
"She was the only one in the Palm Woods that actually thought...thought I was attractive"
I looked at him dumbstruck. If only you knew how wrong you are, Logan.
"Logan, I'm sure that's not true" I said, my voice soft. He sat up and looked at me with tear stained eyes.
"But, James, it is" he said, fresh tears falling "You wouldn't understand"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"James" he said surprised "You have to know how breathtaking you are, and I'm just...me" he said looking down.
Logan thinks I'm breathtaking.I blushed. That's when I realized what Logan said about himself. I moved closer to him, as close as I would dare, and placed my hands on his face, repositioning him to look me in the eyes.
"Logan" I said slowly "I know for a fact that at least one person, other than Camille, finds you attractive"
"Really?" he asked, his face full of hope "Who?"
ME "I can't tell you. I promised her I wouldn't" His face dropped for a second, just for a second, but I noticed. I didn't know what it meant, but I noticed.
"Fine" he said pouting "Thanks, you're best" he said hugging me before leaving the room.
Logan, I want to beat all your insecurities away, so you can see what I see. So you can see how beautiful you are.
I know I shouldn't be thinking like that, because I am one of his best friends but I can't help it.
Suddenly my cell phone rings. I take it out and stare at the screen in horror. Mom flashing red on the screen, the colour seemed fitting.
"Hello?" I answered a bit afraid, but if I was being completely honest I was very afraid.
"James" she said uncharacteristically happy "How have you been?" she asked.
"What happened? Is everything ok?" I asked starting to panic.
"Everything's fine. Can't a mother call her son to find out how his doing?" she asked heartbroken. I almost fell for it, almost.
"Seriously, mom, what's wrong? You're freaking me out" I said panic now taking me by the throat.
"Fine' she sighed "Your sisters coming to visit" And panic squeezed.
My phone fell to the floor with a thud Oh shit! Oh shit! Why me?!
It's been over three years since I last saw my sister. When she left for private school, I know I shouldn't have been but I was ecstatic. I just really hated her and I know everyone says that about their siblings one time or another, but then take it back. Not me, I hate her. Not because she always got what she wanted or that she was my mom's favourite, but because she wanted to steal my Logan away from me. That was when I actually realized my feelings for him and accepted it. But the worst thing had to be that Logan seemed to share her feelings. Spending almost all their time, I felt so ignored by Logan that I would cry myself to sleep every night. And then it happened. She left. And I got my Logan back, but I felt like he rejected me and every time I use to look into his eyes, I looked away as soon as I could. Every time he touched me, even if just to tap me on the shoulder, I tensed up and shrugged him off immediately, and he noticed. Then he became distance as well. I started missing those touches. We spent a whole week ignoring each other, if we passed by each other in the halls of our school we would just look down and walk on. It was torture. I would have given up, but I was very stubborn. Luckily, Kendall convinced us to be friends again, not that I needed convincing.
There's a knock at the door and I feared the worst. I wouldn't put it past my mother to tell me something that was just about to happen, that way I couldn't say no.
I ran out of my room just as Kendall answered the door. I could feel the fear returning, not that it left, and taking me over. I started shaking, watching Kendall open the door. It seemed like he took forever to open the door. No! She's going to take my Logan away from me again. The door was halfway open, but from where I was I could only see brunette hair. Please no. I started shaking even more now. I felt a hand on my shoulder and immediately relaxed. I could feel the heat of his hand through my shirt. There was just something about Logan's presence that made me relax now, not like in Minnesota all those years ago. I wanted to push myself backwards against Logan and feel him behind me, grinding his hips against me. I blushed at that picture. Definitely not like Minnesota.
"Hey, buddy, are you ok? If it's about Camille don't worry about it" he said and I turned around to look at him "Besides, I have to be single for this supposed girl that finds me attractive" he said smiling. Logan, kiss me now. That's when I realized he still didn't believe me, granted it wasn't a girl, it was me, but still.
"You dare doubt James Diamond" I said making my voice deeper. Logan giggled and I smiled. I love that sound.
"I do dare" he said trying to make his voice deep, but he kept laughing. You are just too adorable for words.
"Logan, it's for you" Kendall said. I almost forgot about my appending doom. I turned around slowly and let out an audible sigh. It was Camille. It was Logan's turn to look afraid. I just wanted to hug him and never let him go, and to tell Camille 'no you can't have my Logie', but I didn't. All I did was patted him on the back and sent him onto the battle field. The first thing Camille did was slap Logan. She was lucky I was controlling myself; otherwise I would have slapped her back for slapping my Logie. Ok, I wouldn't have, but I can still think about doing it.
Logan's P.O.V
I rubbed my cheek where Camille slapped me, not surprised in the least.
"Hey, Camille" I said trying to smile.
"Don't you hey me" she said angrily crossing her arms across her chest "If you didn't want to go on a date with me you could have just said so, you didn't have to send James to do your dirty work"
"It wasn't so much my choice..." I began trying to explain.
"Oh really" she said and I knew this wouldn't go well "Next you going to tell me James sabotaged our date"
"Well..."
"Unbelievable" she said walking away in long, angry strides.
"Camille, wait" I said and she showed me the finger in response. I sighed, there goes my anchor, and shut the door "Thanks a lot, James" I said crashing on the coach next to James.
"My pleasure" he said grinning. I rolled my eyes in response, but smiled. How can you be so perfect, James? The thought didn't bother me; I always thought he was gorgeous. It's not like I always thought about kissing his lips, while he put his hand through my hair. And then he would moan my name making me want him more. No it's not like I did that. I'm hopeless; I can't even convince myself I don't have feelings for him.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked. I hadn't even noticed how close we were sitting. It would have been awkward if I didn't enjoy being so close to him.
"You" I said without thinking. My eyes kept wondering everywhere else except James. He looked at me surprised and then smiled. There was something in his eyes which made me think he was up to something.
"Logan" he whispered huskily in my ear. God! "I didn't know you thought of me in that way" He licked my ear and then blew. James, please. He then kissed me on the cheek, got up and left for his and Kendall's room.
I think I'm going to pass out.
I sighed, staring out of the widow and looking at the busy street, watching people coming home from work to their spouses and loved ones. I want that, I want someone who cares for me, someone who misses me. I want love. I like James, more as a friend but I wouldn't say I am in love with him, although I can't really explain these feelings I have for him. Anyway even if I do love him, he wouldn't feel the same. I sighed again and placed the warm, bittersweet concoction to my lips.
"I know that look" a red haired girl said taking the seat opposite me "What's up?"
"Hey, Emily, nothing's wrong" she grimaced and I smiled.
"I told you its Em, my parents call me Emily"
"Ok, Em" I said putting down my mug and making air quotations, before picking it up and taking a greedy gulp "I really love your coffee. It has a unique taste; it's bitter and sweet at the same time. What's your secret?"
She giggled and drew two fingers across her lips and twisted, as if she was locking a door, and throw the key away. I found this coffee shop about three weeks ago and it feels like Emily and I have been lifelong friends. The first time we met, I had been having a bad 'James' day, he kept rubbing against me and touching me, I knew it was in a friendly way, but it felt as if he was doing it just to torture me. With the combination of her friendliness and her amazing coffee, she broke me or rather I broke down. I told her everything from me being gay to James torturing me. She hugged me and my tears started falling. I kept apologizing for unloading like that, but she just shushed me. I come at least three times a week to have coffee and talk. The gang doesn't know about this place, so I don't have to worry about James suddenly walking in.
"Don't try to distract me. You usually come in the morning; the only time you come in the afternoon is when something is bothering you, or rather someone?"
I looked everywhere except at Emily, but she was relentless. She could always get me to talk.
"Yes, its James and you won't believe what happened" I continued, telling her about how James cancelled my date with Camille and what he said to almost make me pass out.
"It's so obvious, Logan, he wants you. He cancelled your date because he was jealous" she said screaming like a fan girl.
"No, please don't do that" I said my voice taking a serious tone "Don't make me think there is a possibility he might feel the same, don't make me think there's hope. I can't handle being rejected, not after..." I couldn't even finish the sentence before tears started falling. Emily got up from her seat and hugged me.
"It's ok, I understand, but I still think you the dumbest smart person I know" she said smiling and I smiled with her, wiping my tears with my sleeve.
A/N: How was it? Should I continue? Did it bore you? Please leave a review and tell me what you thought and if it is even worth updating.
