A/N: This is my first SVU fic, so bear with me, please! That, and I really, really, really appreciate reviews or messages, whether you like my story or not. I put a lot of effort into everything I do, and I'd really like to know what people think.
Casey knelt on the damp ground, not caring about her designer suit or uncomfortable sling-backs. Did any of that really matter in the long run? No, it didn't, she knew that for a fact. She let her fingers run along the letters etched into the smooth, cold granite, blinking back tears with each curve and corner. As she reached up to wipe away the tears that had slowly begun to trickle down her face, Casey's fingertips brushed over the crescent-shaped scar that sat atop her left cheekbone. Five years had allowed it to fade and blend into the surrounding skin, but for Casey it would always be a reminder of the beginning of the end.
"We were young and stupid, and look where we are now," she whispered, fumbling with the clasp on her purse. Through her tears, Casey pulled out her wallet and fished around until she found the tiny ziploc bag she was looking for. For six months she had avoided the little bag, placed strategically behind and between a few other things. The red and black "EVIDENCE" seal glared back at her as she bit through the plastic and pulled out the tattered card. It was her own business card, the one that Charlie had had on him when he died. "CASEY NOVAK, ASSISTANT DISTRICT ATTORNEY." The words printed on the card screamed at Casey. She barely recognized herself anymore, and her name seemed foreign and not at all her own.
Casey fell sideways, her hip hitting the ground hard, though she didn't feel a thing. She realized long ago that she had made a mistake in not helping her first real, true love, but she covered that realization by convincing herself that there wasn't anything she could have done. She knew that she had been deluding herself, and by advocating for all of the mentally ill cases that came across her desk she'd damaged her career, too. Arthur had known what had happened; he'd been the first one Casey had called after the cops left that night. But with Arthur gone and Jack McCoy as the new DA, Casey knew that it wasn't going to be the same. And before she'd had a chance to explain anything, Jack had gone and pulled her damn file.
Barely bothered by the rumble of thunder coming from an approaching storm, Casey began to dig a small hole in front of the headstone. She didn't notice her tears mixing with the rain as both began to fall. She brought the business card to her lips, and she kissed it before placing it in the hole she created. As she covered the last shard of his memory, she whispered only for Charlie to hear. "I'm sorry, so, so, sorry…"
