Hurt

Where Have You Been?

Peeta Mellark's

P.O.V.

District 11

Ever since the war I don't know where Katniss had headed off to. I asked everyone I knew… I even asked Gale, but he wouldn't answer the question. I suspect something is going on with those two, but if I really do love Katniss, I should be happy for her no matter who she's with. I have suffered all this time trying to find her, but I know she will never love me like I love her, so I'm deciding to forget her.

I've been going to therapy and they suggested going somewhere where I wouldn't get reminded of District 12 or anything that happened in the past. So I went to District 11, but turns out it reminds me of Katniss because of Rue. Well, the weird hallucinations about Katniss being a mutt is not as frequent, but sometimes I have to grip something to let it go. I have been working in District 11 turning their grain into bread and work in their bakery.

They have been currently fixing District 12 and once it's done I'm going to visit Haymitch.

"Hi!" Rue's 11 year old little brother, Ronny greeted me, making me snap back to reality.

I smiled at Ronny, "Hey little kiddo,"

Everybody in District 11 is really nice and sometimes my old friends would even visit like Johanna and Annie. They both don't know where Katniss is and I got to meet Annie's son, Finnick. Oh, how I miss him… Johanna is currently here so she comes in the bakery where Ronny and I were having about a conversation about his school.

"Hey guys!" she greeted Ronny and I, she came in with a brunette I don't recognize. Her hair came all the way to her waist and was in a braid. She looks exactly like Katniss, but it isn't her. Her eyes are not the sparkly gray ones I love, snap out of it Peeta, she left! The girl's eyes are chocolate brown.

Ronny smiles at both of them, "Hi Johanna!" He looked at the other girl, "Hey, Shannon!"

Shannon! So that's her name! She's beautiful… But not as beautiful as Katniss, no one is more beautiful than Katniss.

"Hey Ronny," Johanna and I presume Shannon simultaneously say.

I wiped my hands on my apron and took out my hands, "I'm Peeta and you must be Shannon,"

She nodded, smiled the second most beautiful smile and shook my hand "Yeah, that's me,"

"How come I've never seen you before?" I asked her curiously.

"I'm from District 5 and just came to see what it's like here,"

I nodded in understanding, I turned to Johanna," So Jo what are you doing here?"

"Came to get bread and I bumped into Shannon here so we came here together," she explained to me.

"I have to go, my time to plow!" Ronny yelled over his shoulder, rushing out.

My time in the bakery was done so we went to the square and just talked and I got to know Shannon more. She's like the complete opposite of Katniss, but I still like her. Instead of a hunter she's scared of the woods and weapons. She also has many friends and is very open when Katniss only has a few and has a very hard shell.

I'm getting worried because I think I like Shannon, not just a friend, but the like I use to have for Katniss…

Katniss Everdeen's

P.O.V.

District 2

I'm beginning to think my decision of leaving Peeta was one of the worst mistakes I have ever made… After the war I felt that even though Peeta was recovering he will never be the same so I sought Gale as a friend. I soon accepted that it was Gale's fault or intention to do any harm to Prim, so I forgave him. He took me in and I explained to him why I was here. I didn't know, but Gale was dating Madge and he said he was planning to propose to her soon. I made him promise that he wouldn't tell anyone where I was.

He told me he had gotten several calls from Peeta, but he never told like he promised. Although I love being with Gale and Madge, I'm jealous of them. They have someone to hold while they're sleeping. Someone to kiss, someone to love, but I have nobody. I miss Peeta holding me when I have nightmares and his beautiful words.

I have finally reached a realization that I'm nothing without Peeta. He's my everything, my life source, my boy with the bread. Madge tries to comfort me with words of motivation to find Peeta, but I'm too scared that he might not love me anymore or even hate me because I left with no reason. I regretted everything I have done to make him suffer, he doesn't deserve those things.

I don't deserve the boy with the bread. I wake up every night scared and alone. Sometimes I even have to cry myself to sleep; I try hard not to scream so I don't wake up the happy couple. It's hard not to so sometimes so I do scream, the nightmares are mostly about Prim and Peeta.

"Hey Katniss," Madge greets me as I walk down the stairs; then I instantly smell bacon and eggs.

I walk into the kitchen to find three plates on the breakfast table. Each one had bacon, eggs and toast on them. Three glasses were also there filled with orange juice. YUM…

I smile at Madge "Good morning Madge,"

Then Gale walks in, in his pajamas yawning. He hugs me and mutters good morning and kiss Madge's forehead. I sigh; I want Peeta to kiss me on the forehead every morning. I decide I'm going to District 12 right when it's finished being prepared. I'm going to visit Haymitch there.

"Hey Gale… Sleep well?" I ask him.

He nods his head while already munching on the toast, "I slept very well, considering because you didn't wake up from a nightmare," he teased me with his mouth full.

I laughed, it was true, I didn't have a nightmare this time, and it was a dream. The dream was about Peeta and me happy together. He smiled at me without having that weird sparkle in his eye. It was just his crystal blue eyes, not the tracker jacker venom ones.

"Yeah, I was having a wonderful dream…" I sigh, "Too bad it had to end,"

"Tell me what it was later," Madge mouths making sure Gale didn't see.

I nodded, Gale didn't like it when we discussed my nightmares or dreams, he said whenever he hears them it saddens him. We ate our breakfast and Gale soon had to leave for work. He was working with the new government fixing all the districts. Madge just stayed at home and so did I.

We sat on the couch ready for our daily talk, "OK, so here is my dream,"

Dream

Peeta and I were sitting on a white comfortable and plush couch and we were in a very nice living room. His arm was around me and my head was rested on his shoulder. We were just sitting there in silence watching the fire and enjoying each other's company.

I looked up at him to see him staring at me, "I love you,"

He smiled such a bright smile it could've blinded anyone who looked, "I love you, too Katniss Everdeen Mellark,"

Then another scene appeared, we were still on the couch, but I had a baby in my arms and we were cradling it. We had named her Primrose after my beloved sister. Prim had my gray eyes and Peeta's blond hair.

The scene change once again, now it was with a twelve year old girl that resembled baby Prim. It was her older and still happy. Peeta and I were aging, but still smiling and happy on that white couch. We were watching Prim paint a sunset like Peeta had done before. It was quite beautiful and as radiant as her.

The last scene was Peeta and I on that white couch while looking through an album, which was probably our family album. It had my mother, father, Peeta's mother, Peeta's father and Peeta's brothers. Next were Prim and I, then Peeta, soon after that it was our baby Prim. There was an unfamiliar guy and I presume that was her husband and next were my grandchildren. On the last page there was a family tree.

Peeta and I looked about seventy in that time and I knew we had a wonderful life together.

End of Dream

I finished explaining my dream to Madge and smiled the thought, "So what'd you think?"

"Wow, that was very heartfelt," Madge told me.

I nodded, "It was one of my very best dreams and I will never forget it,"

"I think you should really see Peeta because you miss and love him, I can tell,"

I smiled, I was close to crying and tears were blocking my vision, "I'm planning to visit District 12 soon, would you and Gale like to come?" I manage to choke it out before I start crying about Peeta again.

"Of course we will," Madge accepts while patting my back.

I've been so miserable without Peeta; if Gale and Madge weren't with me I'd be totally alone. I need to find out where he is soon and see him, but first I'm going to District 12, he might be there.

I wipe the tears away, "When should we go to District 12?"

Madge thinks about it for a moment, "What about next month? Because all the work will be done, Gale's off work that month so were all free,"

"Sure," I agree.

Since we had nothing to do we just prepared a big special dinner for us because today's the two month anniversary since I've been living with Gale and Madge. We decided to cook our favorite foods and add in a chocolate cake for desert. I bet the cake would be better if it was made by Peeta.

I put on a brave face so Madge won't notice I'm thinking about him again. I feel like my guard is too low. I don't care if Snow and Coin are gone, evil is still around and I don't want it to think I'm weak. My heart might be in millions of pieces, but I don't want to show it.

When Gale comes back right on time for dinner he was very surprised with all the food we had made.

Gale smiled once he saw the table full of food, "I'm going to be really full tonight,"

Madge and I laugh, "Let's dig in!"

We eat the food and laugh at old memories that occurred before my tragic reaping. Wait, no… It was not that bad because if the reaping hadn't called Prim and I didn't volunteer or if Peeta wasn't called I would never realize my feelings for him. Then I wouldn't miss him or the rebellion would have never happened, ending the cruel and disgusting Hunger Games.

Peeta Mellark's

P.O.V.

District 11

Shannon is a really nice girl and I think she will be able to help me get my mind off Katniss. All three of us agreed we would visit District 12 next month. I had asked them if they were interested in seeing my old mentor and my hometown and Shannon was thrilled. Johanna? Not so much…

"Why do I have to go?" Johanna whined.

I shook my head, Johanna is so weird, "Because I want you to," I paused, "I think I might invite Annie too,"

Shannon had liked the idea, "I would love to see other Districts,"

Then that was set, we would go to District 12 in one month. I just hope no drama will happen, like my weird hallucinations or Katniss being there! Ha! That would be ironic, but that would never happen!