Dear Diary,
Today I found a strange black book. I found out that it can be used to kill people. I have decided to use it to SAVE THE RAINFORESTS! Nah, I will use it to BECOME LEADER OF THE MAFIA! No, that;s no good, TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING! NO,….. to MAKE POTATO CHIP FACTORIES ALL OVER THE WORLD! Wait, then I'd get fat, and my hair would be greasy. So I'll use it to MAKE EVERYBODY LOVE ME! Or I'll use it to KILL EVERYBODY EXCEPT FOR ME AND MY FANS ! Or maybe I'll just GIVE DRUGS TO…EVERYONE! My best idea so far is to MAKE A HAIR COMPANY THAT SELLS UGLY WIGS TO PEOPLE THAT DON'T NEED THEM! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! But wait, I had another idea! I can use it to cure CANCER! And then, after I do all these things, I will be prettier, because I won't have pollution in my hair. AND PLUS, I will have many many many many many many very very very very dedicated fans :D. But then I can do more amazing things using this killing book, like, RUN AWAY AND JOIN THE CIRCUS!
Oh well, ANYONE would know that if you picked up something like that it would be fake. WAIT! I just had the perfect idea! What if I go out and test it? I can kill somebody random and see if it works!
December 3, 2003
I made a new friend! He's more of a stalker than a friend though He just needs a makeover, poor guy. He looks like a scary bad guy in a band with a cool car! No wonder he can't get a fan girl. He likes apples. Good thing because my weird-ass mom gave me this giant-ass bowl filled with apples. I told him of my plans (I finally figured out how to use the notebook). First, I am going to put stickers all over the cover. Second, I will kill criminals. Then, I will kill not criminals who piss me off and be mad with power. And Finally, I shall RULE OVER A NEW WORLD! Anyways, after I told Ryuk my plans we watched Mean Girls. It's a movie about a girl named Lindsay Lohan who makes friends and then makes better friends but ends up with the loosers but it's all good because she gets a nice boyfriend. And everyone gets hit by a bus. I should do that to the mean bitches at my school with my death note. The END!
See, ya!
