"Juudaime," Gokudera says. But he is alone, and no one hears him.

"Juudaime," he says again. And his throat chokes up as he tries to say more, to form his feelings into words. He's never done this before. He didn't think it would be so hard.

"Tsuna," he says, this time his voice deeper and quieter. He can't remember how long it's been since he said that name out loud. He's always told himself that one day, when Tsuna finally falls in love with him, Gokudera will call him by his name, and not until then. But lately, he's realized that that isn't going to happen. Lately, the thought just seems silly.

"Tsun—a… Juudaime, I…"

A deep breath. It's shaky and shallow and he feels pathetic.

"I love you."

And then it feels all too real, and Gokudera wishes that he hadn't said it. Long after the words have left his mouth, he can feel them in the air, repeating over and over again until he doesn't think that he can stand it anymore.

He would cry, if he wasn't Tsuna's right-hand man. If Tsuna didn't need him.

But he does. Tsuna needs him, and Tsuna wouldn't want to see him cry.

So instead he says those precious words over and over until they have no meaning left, until his mind is a daze and he can't feel anymore and all he can see is Tsuna's smile, and then suddenly nothing else matters.

Nothing else matters as long as Tsuna's smiling.

Right?

Someday, a little less than ten years into the future, Gokudera will sit by Tsuna's coffin and wonder where he went wrong. Wonder how he failed, when he tried so hard. He'll wonder why Tsuna is dead and he is alive, when it should have been the other way around. And he'll think to himself, Maybe it would have been worth telling Tsuna that I loved him, just so he would know how much I care. So he'd know that I will always be there for him and that all I want is for him to be happy, to make him proud and to protect him, for the rest of my life. Even if it changed things, maybe it would have made him happy.

But he'll shake his head and try to keep from thinking such things, because it will be too late. It will all be too late. And he'll close his eyes and prepare to let go, wondering what he should do next, in a world without Tsuna. In a world where his beloved is to be buried deeply in the ground, alone.

And then, something amazing will happen. The Tsuna that he knew as a boy will appear, sitting up in that coffin, and he'll look at Gokudera with those same curious brown eyes.

"Juudaime!" Gokudera will cry out. And he'll rush over to him clutch desperately at his shoulders "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

He'll take a deep breath, and duck his head, and he almost won't say it, but then the image of Tsuna lying dead and lifeless will pass through his mind, and he won't have a choice.

"Tsuna, I…"

I love you.