A/N: Originally, this was supposed to fulfill the challenge set by anonymous1stClass, "Write a 300-500 word melodrama with Reno as the main character." So much for that. Failed in all categories except Reno. Oh, well. Enjoy!
Reno ducked swiftly, the gigantic blade slicing the air just above his head. He knew it could cut him easily in half, but he had to try. He must rescue that blonde-haired beauty before she was lost forever within the beast's maw. The monster's swings were coming in regular intervals, he noticed - not a lot of time between sweeps, but maybe enough if he was quick. He gathered himself and leaped upward with all his strength, timing it perfectly.
He landed atop the beast, but its four blades were swinging too fast and he was nearly swept around and off. Thinking quickly - something he was known for, although usually with disastrous results - he stepped onto one of the blades, fighting to keep his balance as the monster swung him around and around, attempting to dislodge him. An ordinary man would have fallen, but not Reno, not when he was on a chivalric mission to save the captured lady. He kept his footing with little effort, waiting until the blade rotated around again and he was facing the opposite side from where he had been before leaping.
Trusting to his instincts, he jumped down with a battle-cry, prepared to take on the beast from this side now. One wickedly-long blade nicked the end of his ponytail as he plummeted groundward, but he shrugged off the injury and smoothly rose to his full height. The lady had now completely disappeared inside; if he wanted to rescue her, he would have to follow.
Unfazed, he whipped out his weapon and plunged inside the monster, fearlessly entering that fetid lair.
"Elena! Princess!" he called, looking about a bit wildly. "Where art thou, my lady?"
The only answer to his shout was a quiet click behind him; he turned, EMR brandished, to see a metal door sliding shut and lock.
"Ah! Hide her as you may, beast, but I will rescue her!" Reno laughed, his electric rod starting to hum with energy.
The door fell before his onslaught and he strode into the forward compartment, prepared for anything the monster could throw against him, him, the Red Knight of Shinra, Prince of Turks, rescuer of distressed maidens. However, he was unprepared for what he saw upon entering: the fair lady was wrapped in a deathly embrace, metallic tendrils looping over her entire body, an evil-looking crown secured onto her head. Her life was fading even as he watched - her attention was focussed solely on a glowing panel she held in front of her face, and her eyes were beginning to glaze.
"Come, lady Elena! I will free you!" he cried, leaping forward.
She glanced up at the last moment and jerked away from him as he tore the wires from about her slender form and ripped the black metal circlet from her head.
"RENO!" she screeched. "I was working!"
The leader of the Turks was doing paperwork when angry footsteps pounded up to his door. It burst open without preamble, admitting two figures, the taller one being dragged along by a short, red-faced blonde.
"Tseng, I wish to courtmartial Reno here, for continually disrupting my work and for hauling me bodily out of the helicopter while I was trying to fix its navigational array."
Tseng sighed and tried to resist the urge to slam his forehead into his desk. "Reno, did you have another drinking contest with the SOLDIERs again?"
