I don't own Hetalia. Entertainment purposes only, please.
Bringing the can of Pepsi to his lips, Lovino tilted his hat up.
"Ciao, potato loser. You must already know who I am. If you got too much of my fratello on your mind, my name is Lovino Vargas, second half of the Vargas Duo." Slamming his Pepsi onto his lap, he whispered, "If there's one thing I don't like, it's when people mess with my brother. When people mess with my brother, people die." Pulling out an army knife from his coat pocket, he slid the blade between his fingers. "If you know what's best for you, get your—"
"Lovi, we ran out of tomatoes!"
"Toni, you idiot!" the Italian hissed. The depressed Spaniard opened the door and turned on the lights. Hissing, Lovino dove under his blankets and pillow. Rubbing his eyes, Toni asked,
"Lov, why's your room so dark? What's with the mafia get up?" Poking his head out from his blankets, Lovino shouted,
"Nothing! I'm recording so get out!"
"No, you're too cute~" With that, ToniBoy slammed into Lovino and hugged the feisty Italian. Lovino wanted to beat the tomatoes out of Toni with his Pepsi can, but his brother's annoying voice rang out.
"Fratello~" Toni looked up. Seizing the chance, Lovino knocked the Spaniard off of him and dived for his recording phone, sending his Pepsi and homework into the air. Sticking his head into the room, Feli asked, "Lovi, what are you and Cousin Antonio doing?"
"N-Nothing! The idiot slammed me into a hug," Lovino said, waving his phone around like a white flag. "Don't you have a date with that manly wurst of a potato?"
"Yep, Luddy will be here any minute with Gilbert~"
What! Oh heck no! They're not ganging up on my brother! Lovino wanted to scream and stab someone. He wanted to boss-flip a table, but he could feel ToniBoy's stares. Then, the sound of sweet purrs of an engine settled the silence. "Oh, that's him and Gil now. I'll see you later~"
And with that, Feliciano—and his innocence—left the safety of Lovi's room. Both Toni and Lovi heard the front door open and close and the ruckus of Gil's laughter.
"When do you want me to pick you two birds up?"
"I'll call you," Ludwig's gruff voice rang out from outside.
"I wish Lovi and I could have a brother relationship like you guys," Feliciano chirped.
What are you saying, traitor? Lovino wanted to yell. He wanted to jump out the window and strangle little Feliciano for that. But, this wasn't a reality comedy show. This was life, the real deal. And, this was America. Feliciano had the right to speak his mind about him. But, Lovino had to admit, Feli's comment really crushed his heart inside.
"ToniBoy, what do you say about a little drive and dinner?" Lovino licked his lips, completing his mafia look with an untuck shirt dollar sign necklace.
"For the two of us?"
"Make that four at Olive Gardens."
And that's what the two did. Fighting for a table wasn't hard, especially when you had a fast cussing Italian with you. But, finding a close table to where Ludwig and Feliciano were at was world war three. In the end, Lovino's fast card dealing skills won the bet for the booth right behind where the German and chirpy Feli sat.
Snapping into rough disguises—where ToniBoy looked like a waiter and Lovino looked like a mafia boss—they ordered their drinks and appetizers.
"As long as we're here, we might as well go on that date you've wanted," Toni said, blowing bubbles into his water.
"I was expecting Papa Jones at least," Lovino hissed from behind the menu. "Olive Gardens doesn't even serve real Italian food!" Toni held a finger to his lips to shush Lovino up. Pointing to Feliciano and Ludwig, he pointed to his ear. Nodding, Lovino tilted his hat down and listened.
Something about potatoes, pasta, tomatoes, and expensive wine… Shaking his head, Lovino turned his head to look at the love birds. Feliciano and Ludwig's faces were just a few inches apart as they shared a strand of pasta. Closing his eyes, Feliciano dove in, brushing his lips softly against the German's.
"I have to go," Lovino croaked, crawling out of the booth, making sure to kick Ludwig in the shin when he passed. Stumbling into the restroom, he locked himself into a stall and played flappy bird on his phone. An hour may have passed by? He didn't care.
I'm a mafia boss. Why should I be hiding?
My brother… Have I been wrong about potato loser? He seems so happy with him. Unlike with me…
No, you're a mafia boss. You can do this. Leaving a bloody message over Ludwig's cold body will be the best way to show that no one's good enough for my fratello.
Feliciano would hate me.
Hey, why do you have to voices in your head?
Why are you yelling at me?
Later that night, after Toni went home and while Feliciano was showering, Lovino decided to redo his recording. Putting the phone right up to his face, Lovino recited,
"Ciao, potato loser. You should know who I am. My name is Lovino Vargas, second half of the Vargas Duo. If there's one thing I don't like, it's when my fratello isn't happy. When he's not happy, I feel like a worthless older brother to him. But, he's always smiling when he's around you. I'll only say this once so listen. You may get on my nerves and be a manly potato, but because you crack a smile on Feli's face, I'll respect you. Ciao, Ludwig."
