There was a time, when Dean would just lay in the back of the Impala and just forget all his little problems. And he'd lay there all night, just enjoying the silence. Usually, Sam would come out in the middle of the night and tell him to get back in the motel room.
It seemed like he couldn't do that anymore. No, he had his one and only job back now—to watch over Sam—and he was going to make sure he did it. He survived the Apocalypse, survived Hell, and he even survived Purgatory.
And not once did he snap mentally or physically. But, he was going to, sooner or later. He knew he couldn't push all that down, all the memories, pain, everything, forever. Dean didn't want Sam or Castiel around when he did snap. If he did.
So, on this particular night, Dean returned to one of his old habits. Opening the driver door to the Impala, the hunter didn't start the car, instead, he crawled over to the passenger seat, before laying down.
He needed silence, very badly.
Sometimes, Dean could still hear the yells and screams of both Purgatory and Hell. And no matter how hard he tried to block them out or forget them, they'd still be in his head.
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Dean allowed himself to relax and enjoy the silence. The only sound he could hear was his breathing, and that was good.
Sam was in the 'bat-cave', probably asleep his room, Dean thought. The hunter didn't know where Cas was, but worried for him, nonetheless.
So, allowing himself to relax for once, Dean opened his eyes and looked out the windshield to see the stars.
Dean and Sam would do that after a hunt, but now, not anymore. He'd like to do that still. But Sam was too busy hiding his pain from Dean, or learning more about the trials. But, Dean needed time alone. And this was it.
For once, Dean felt truly and completely at peace again. There was no need to be alert all the time, though he subconsciously was. But sadly enough, for Dean anyway, he felt more safe and protected alone.
Looking at his watch, Dean smiled, knowing that Sam would probably be out here in 30 minutes. Taking a deep breath, he allowed himself to relax.
And he was happy.
