MALCOLM:
When I wake up
Well, I know I'm gonna see
I'm gonna see some fuckin' e-mails about you
And when I go out
Well, I know I'm gonna speak
I'm gonna speak to fuckin' hacks because of you
JAMIE:
If I get drunk
Well, I know it's gonna be
It's gonna be because I had to salvage you
And if you haver
Well, you know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who fuckin' murders you
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
But I would walk five hundred fuckin' miles
And then five hundred more
Just to be the man who tears your fuckin' skin off till you know the score
MALCOLM:
When I'm working
Well, I know I'm gonna go
To your department just to fuckin' bollock you
JAMIE:
And when the money comes in for the work I do
I'll buy a crate of fuckin' Xanax 'cause of you
MALCOLM:
When I come home
JAMIE:
When I come home!
MALCOLM:
Oh, I know I'm gonna be
So fuckin' happy just to get away from you
JAMIE:
And if I grow old
Well, my brain is gonna be
A pile of useless fuckin' mush from life with you
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
But I would walk five hundred fuckin' miles
And then five hundred more
Just to be the man who sliced your fuckin' head and watched it hit the floor
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da!
MALCOLM:
When I'm lonely
Well, I know it's gonna be
A fuckin' paradise compared to time with you
JAMIE
And when I'm dreamin'
Well, I know I'm gonna dream
About the day I get the fuck away from you
MALCOLM:
When I go out
JAMIE:
When I go out!
MALCOLM:
Well, I know there's gonna be
Some fuckin' wanker askin', what's the deal with you?
JAMIE:
And when I come home
MALCOLM:
When I come home!
JAMIE:
Yes, I know I'm gonna need
A fuckin' single malt to numb the pain of you
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
I'm gonna drown myself in single malt . . .
Fuck you!
And I would walk five hundred fuckin' miles
And then five hundred more
Just to be the man who crushed your fuckin' face till brains seeped out your pores
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM:
Da da lat da!
JAMIE:
Da da lat da!
MALCOLM/JAMIE:
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da!
And I would walk five hundred fuckin' miles
And then five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fuck you out the do-o-or!
