A/N: What would it be like if Tidus never came back in FFX-2?
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, ho hum…
She looks into the mug of coffee that sits in front of her. It's no use. Even her favorite drink can't get you out of her mind. She sighs and slides the cup away. She's too afraid to look in it—too afraid she'll see you within its brown depths.
She stands up abruptly. You didn't come back. After two years searching for you, you didn't come back. You left her in the shadows, alone and biding her time in the darkness.
Well, it's actually not dark. She still resides on Besaid, the place she will always know as her home. She still lives with Wakka and Lulu, making their lives rather uncomfortable. But she doesn't care what they think. All she cares about is what you think.
And then she remembers you can't think—you're dead. You're gone. You left her to die a lonely, unhappy death.
Children laugh merrily outside. Giggles and shrieks are heard along with the barking of a dog—and then parents. Parents yelling at their children to stay away from the cliff or to get out of the forest.
She feels a pang in her heart. She is supposed to be one of those parents. She is supposed to be out there right now, yelling at a little one to come back home…to come back and visit with their mom and dad.
But there is no mom. There is no dad. There is no child either. Just her.
She sighs and gets up from the small table. She is usually alone—Wakka and Lulu have spent most of their time outside of the tent…away from her. Their little boy makes her all the more frustrated, all the more angry…so they leave her to dwell on the past.
As she grabs a plate from the cupboard, she knows she shouldn't dwell. She should smile and continue living life, as she had two years ago. But when her cousin brought her that sphere, it had brought a whole new hope.
And then you tricked her. She heard your whistle in the Farplane—she tried to follow it. She really did. But all she saw was her golden shadow. It wasn't you, she realizes. It was her mind playing a petty trick on her. She just…she just wants you back so badly.
She sits back down at the table with her small slice of cheesecake. She remembers the first time she had a piece. It was after Sin had been destroyed, and she was at the celebration. But she had felt no celebration inside of her. She had been dead inside. She hates to eat it—it brings back the sadness that weighed down her heart those years ago.
And as she cuts a piece off with her fork and slides it into her mouth, a wonderful taste fills it. It's creamy and bubbly, yet crumbling with wafer cookie bits. She savors the taste. It tastes so good. It tastes delicious.
But something deep within the taste is rotting it and destroying it. Something is there that has forever ruined the taste of the cake. It is her sadness. Her hatred. Her fear and loneliness. Everything that she had felt that day you left her. Her heart is shattering all over, and tears well up in her eyes.
But she doesn't stop. She continues to eat it, even when a taste of salty tears lands within the treat. She doesn't stop. She feels the need to eat it. She feels the need to relive the feelings, relive the past. Because as long as those sad feelings are there, you are too. She remembers you were once there to comfort her. You were once there to free her and to save her.
You were there for her, and now you are gone.
She is done the cake. And still, sobs wrack her body, causing her to hug her knees tightly to her face. She is reliving the past. She is feeling the pain you caused her. And she doesn't want it to go. She wants to know you were there. Even though it is pain, it is a reminder. She must never forget you.
And so she goes on, washing the plate and washing the fork. She hums a slow song and a grim smile spread across her face. Many fear she is losing her mind. But she is not.
She is only remembering. Everyday she must feel that pain and sadness. If only to remember you.
And so it has gone on for years—everyday she eats a piece. Everyday she cries and sobs. And everyday she washes her dishes, looking forward to the pain she will feel the next day…
When she eats another piece of her past.
A/N: Uhuh…that made perfect sense. (Sarcasm intended). Don't know what it's all about. FYI, the last line means everyday she eats a piece of cheese cake, a.k.a. her past, so she doesn't forget him. Or-or something like that.
It came to me while I was still half asleep, don't blame me! RR please!
