Death is a strange thing.
One moment you're breathing, heart beating, and then suddenly nothing. That's how it happens. You live and then you die, simple, straight to the point. The end.
Except that isn't what happened to me?
Sure, I died. Only I didn't stay dead like one is supposed to. Instead, I floated for some time, and then I breathed my first breath. Which was wrong wrong wrong. The room was too warm and yet too cold. Too bright, too noisy.
Death is a strange thing. But then, so is reincarnation.
Weeks pass, and I am taken from what I assume was a hospital and put into a place with many other children. It becomes abundantly clear that I have no parents, a fact I consider to be for the best anyway, because parents would only remind me of what I had lost. Thinking about Before is painful and often leaves me breathless, so I abandon such thoughts and instead focus on the situation at hand.
The language is gibberish, so I understand nothing. My vision is poor, making it difficult to see and comprehend the things going on around me. The only reason I know there are other children is because of the noise. I almost feel as if I can sense them, but babies are sensitive things, so I don't worry too much about it.
In the end, I decide to not worry about anything. It's just too much to process right now and I'd rather sleep anyway.
Three and a half years later
I find out my name is Nao
There are many things I've learned in my short time here, things I honestly wished I didn't know. Learning the language hadn't turned out to be all that difficult. Hell, even learning to use chopsticks had been pretty painless.
Finding out that this world was not in fact earth, but rather a fictional place? That was hard to swallow.
A part of me still refused to believe it, even as I sat in a wagon along with other children from the orphanage, on our way to Konoha. It appeared there were no shortages of orphaned children in the Fire country, though supposedly it had been a few years since the end of the Third Great Shinobi War. The orphanage where I'd lived was overfull, and a select few of us children had been picked to be taken to the village hidden in the leaves.
I found this to be vaguely concerning, as those of us taken were all between the ages of two and six, an age group where not a single child would have been old enough to truly remember the horror of war, and the perfect age for potential academy recruitment. Perhaps I should have been more alarmed by the possibility, but as it was I still had trouble comprehending the truth before me. We were traveling to Konoha, through the land of Fire Country, located in the Elemental Nations.
And we were being escorted by Shinobi.
There were four of them, a full team, charged with bringing our company of 15 to the safety of their village. Everything about the scene I was currently witnessing screamed wrong; it was there in the green flak jackets, the shiny forehead protectors sporting the leaf insignia, and their eerily silent movement. Then there was the fact that our wagon was on a freaking dirt road and being pulled by horses, two things that seemed so out of place considering I'd just come from a home with modern electricity and plumbing.
It was little wonder I couldn't bring myself to be more suspicious about the reason behind my transfer; my mind was already in distress over the appearance of physical, undeniable proof that I was indeed living in a fictional world. That was why I, along with the other children, could not help but stare at the shinobi; the only difference being that rather than the awe-filled expression of my companions, mine was one of stomach-wrenching horror.
One of them, a Kunoichi, seems to have noticed this, because she approaches me. Shoulder length brown hair, purple tattoos decorating her cheeks, and kind brown eyes stand out to me in my hazed state.
"Hello," she chimes, voice clear as a bell. "What's your name?"
I say nothing, eyes wide and posture stiff. After a few seconds in which it becomes clear that she isn't going to receive an answer from me, the woman's smile grows strained. One of the caretakers traveling with us takes pity on her, and with a good natured sigh, explains "This is Nao, please excuse her. She's a shy one."
The caretaker is wrong, of course; I just preferred to be alone. Children were... tiresome, for me. I had trouble interacting with them, and the experience often left me drained; they were useful for observation and practicing my language skills, but not much else. However, that had little to do with my lack of response in terms of the Kunoichi. My throat was tight, leaving me unable to formulate any sort of reply, because the Kunoichi before me was unsettlingly familiar.
Nohara Rin.
Who, to the extent of my knowledge, was supposed to be extremely, undeniably dead.
Only she was very much alive, at the ripe age of what I guessed to be around eighteen. It was that observation that became the final straw for my small, delicate mind; I was less than four years old, breathing imaginary air in an imaginary world where deceased fictional characters were not as dead as they really ought to be.
So I do the only thing I seem to excel at anymore, which is shut down and go on auto pilot.
Nohara Rin glances my way many times throughout the trip, a fact that hardly registers in my mind, and is quickly dismissed each time. I am too busy drowning my thoughts about ninja, chakra, and the ever present fact that hovers at the back of my subconscious, whispering into the void.
You are dead.
Dead, but not at peace.
Never at peace, because you aren't really dead, are you?
You're alive.
Hours later I'm still so caught up in my thoughts that our approach to the village gates goes unnoticed. Only when the wagon arrives at our destination and the children get out do I finally snap out of it and get my first glance at our new temporary home. The lot was spacious, fenced-in featuring a small playground on its left and a large, two story brick building over to the right. There was plenty of room for the children that ran rampant around the yard, climbing trees and playing various games as two caretakers watched on from a shaded bench near the building.
My group is herded through the yard and into the building, where we're introduced to our new caretakers (who welcome us into the "family") before basically being told to go wild and explore the place. Two of the shinobi that had escorted us went back out to unload what little possessions we owned, and while the other kids went about their own business I go in search of a bed, resolved to take a nap.
The gaze of Nohara Rin follows me until I exit out of sight, a minor disturbance in the sea of unsettlement I currently face. I crawl into an empty bed and pull the covers over my head, with the hopeless thought that maybe this is all a bad dream.
I wake an hour later to find that the world around me is still spinning and indeed real.
But that doesn't mean I have to acknowledge it.
Two years later
A face looks back at me through the mirror, and once again I find myself pleasantly surprised yet mildly disturbed. Big green eyes and dark red hair are the most noticeable features on the little girl; she looks young and innocent, with her long pig tails and a pretty dress. Strangely enough, this girl is me. I hum a tune as I fix the ribbons in my hair, white to match the rest of my outfit.
Today was the day.
I would, for the first time in two years, be going out past the front gate. On that dreadful day so long ago, when I was no longer able to deny my existence in this universe, I found myself dangerously close to the edge of sanity. A conscious decision had to be made, action had to be taken or I would slip over that edge and descend into hysteria; a state one could not afford in a shinobi village. I made a choice then, to limit my interactions with anything that had the potential to trigger an existential crisis.
This meant never leaving the property, avoiding as much contact with shinobi as humanly possible, and avoiding the general direction of the Hokage Mountain among other things. The list was endless, honestly, but I figured if doing these things helped me in any way then what was the harm? The majority of my time was spent furthering my language skills, and basically anything that served as a suitable distraction. Books always worked well enough, and anything I read that didn't sit well with me could always be interpreted as fiction.
This caused minor issues with the matron running the orphanage, but I was hardly her most problematic child and with some insistence I could be coaxed into playing along with other children. In the Matron's eyes the fact that I wasn't entirely antisocial seemed to be good enough for her, to the point where she rarely made a fuss over me. That was how I'd managed to avoid the outside world for the past two years.
It was time though, I'd come to terms with my new life, and I needed to find out what the hell was going on.
As I prepared myself for what was to come, a strange sense of irony washed over me. I felt as though I was going into battle; white ribbons to substitute as armor and a deceptively sweet face to cut away suspicion. Not a war in the most traditional sense, but still one nonetheless. I focus on keeping my expression neutral as I make my way out of the bathroom to the matron's office and peek through the open doorway. The matron sits behind a desk, looking over some documents, and greets me before I can say anything.
"Good morning, Nao-chan." She says, startling me. She eyes me with amusement as I fidget, before continuing. "Is there something you need?"
"I… no." I reply. "I just wanted to tell you that I was going outside."
"Ah, alright then. Thank you for telling me."
She waves me off and just like that, I'm out the door and gone. I hadn't expected it to go any differently, as the other children living here often went outside of the gate, though they rarely gave notice before doing so. In Konoha, kids seemed to run free with little to no actual adult supervision and it was considered normal. the village was supposedly a safe place though, and there were enough well-meaning adults mulling around to keep an eye out for them. It was the reason Orochimaru had been able to snatch so many children, and they hadn't seemed to learn from that.
Once I was a good block away, I stop to take in my surroundings. Konoha was like nothing I had ever seen before. So colorful and strange, alike to the manga and yet different too. Hashirama trees could be seen throughout the village, and in the distance you could see the Hokage tower and the mountain, four heads watching over us all.
Hmmmm.
Only four, so it was likely that Tsunade was still gone then. That wasn't good, because if the third was alive then Konoha faced an invasion from sound in the future. But then, Nohara Rin had been alive well after she should have been; my information wasn't very helpful at the moment if it had so much possibility to be wrong.
I walk toward where I think the center of the village is, absorbing everything I see. The streets are made of dirt and people mill about, going to and fro. The atmosphere is genuinely peaceful and for some reason this surprises me. As I grow closer to the shopping area more activity is seen. What looks like telephone poles line the road and I can't help but wonder why. It's not like there are phones or the internet here.
Good god.
No wifi.
I enter a popular street filled with people, mourning my technological loss. At the very end of the road in the distance is the Hokage tower, so this is a sort of main street. No one bats an eye at the people jumping from roof to roof. As I weave my way through the various shoppers, my stomach makes itself known. I only have a few yen on hand, snatched from anyone stupid enough to set their money down at the orphanage; it isn't much, but maybe I can get a discount somewhere if I play cute.
I contemplate the reality of this as a familiar building catches my gaze. I stare disbelievingly for a moment before a grin graces my face and I skip over to the infamous ramen stand, ready to test my charm.
"Hi!" I chirped, boosting myself onto the seat.
I sit on my knees, leaning my elbows against the counter. The man, Teuchi, laughs at my enthusiasm and greets me in return.
"Ne, do I have enough for a bowl of ramen?" I ask as I dump my coins on the counter.
I probably don't, but I'm not willing to give in to defeat, so I give him my best puppy dog eyes. Teuchi gives a hum as he counts the money, which clearly isn't enough, and looks to me. I blink and tilt my head questioningly, trying to look cute.
"It's your lucky day, little one," he replied. "You have just enough! What kind would you like?"
"Beef please!"
Being small really does have its benefits. I watch as my bowl is made, the mouthwatering smell making my stomach rumble. Then it's set in front of me, and I thank him as I dig in. It really was the best ramen I had ever had, which wasn't saying much considering the only kind I'd ever tried had come from a styrofoam cup . Teuchi made conversation as I ate, and I happily joined in.
"How old are you Nao-chan?"
"I'm five." I managed between bites.
"Wow, you're all grown up!" he said kindly.
I inwardly sigh because really, he had no idea. I had to give it to him though; the man was good with children. I nod in agreement, mouth full.
"Where are your parents then? Shopping?"
It was an innocent enough question, especially considering I was alone. Most parents probably don't let their children run amuck… Well, civilian parents anyway (probably). I could say they were shopping, but that lie could come back to bite me, and since Teuchi was being generous with me I didn't see why I couldn't return the favor.
"Well," I began. "I don't have parents. I live in the orphanage."
"Ah, I see."
You didn't have to be a mind reader to know what was going through his head. I could practically hear "you poor thing". I didn't need it though, I was fine and the pitying look he gave me only hardened my belief. I finished my bowl quickly and thanked Teuchi, promising to visit again soon.
Especially if he was going to let me eat for such a cheap price.
I loitered about for a while, before picking a direction and taking off. It was best if I didn't stay too long in main areas, I really didn't want to run into someone I might recognize. Konoha really was huge, and I couldn't wait to explore. I passed many places as I went and tried to remember them for the future. People gave me strange looks as I went about, and I had a feeling it was because of my hair. I thought it was a nice color though, so I ignored those who stared and kept on.
One of my findings turned out to be a really nice park, with a playset and an open field. Unfortunately by then the sun was starting to set and I was a long ways away from the orphanage. I vowed to come back though and spend a whole day lazing under a tree. As I returned, I found some relief in the fact that there hadn't been anything bad to be found about the village so far. I was still wary of course, but after watching normal people go about their normal days, I didn't feel so frightened.
Maybe I could do this.
Today turned out to be informative enough, though on the flip side I didn't find out what time I was in compared to the rookie nine. I'd have to find that out eventually, but no point in rushing. If we're invaded right now there's nothing I can do about it, I won't be able to leave the village, and odds are I'd die either way so best not to worry right?
Right.
