Dedicated to iAndromeda, this is something which I haven't tried before. I've always wanted to rant about the injustices inflicted on Harry Potter and the stupidity of Twilight, so this one was written as an experiment. It's Kavi I am hopeless when it comes to writing proper romance, you guys, please help me out!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! *thunder rumbles*

"What schist is this?" Purvi cried out in frustration as she stared at her laptop screen.

"What?" Her boyfriend Kavin asked from the living room.

"Take a look at this!" Purvi groaned as she carried her laptop to the living room and sat next to him on the sofa. "I was just checking out why harry potter is better than twilight to kill the time and I found this!" Kavin took one look at the screen and groaned as well.

It read '10 reasons why twilight is better than Harry Potter'.

"Aah, we are screwed." Kavin said. "What arguments do they have now?"

Purvi started reading.

"#1, the box sets." Purvi looked appalled at that reason. "WHAT THE- HOW IN THE NAME OF MERLIN'S MOST BAGGY Y-FRONTS IS THE TWILIGHT BOX SET MODERN, ELEGANT AND TO THE POINT?!"

"Not to mention whoever wrote this misspelled 'elegant' as well." Kavin said dryly. "And as for believing in magic, well they believe in stupid sparkly vampires, so they can't talk."

"No kidding. Okay, here we go." Purvi scrolled down. "#2, Harry Potter copied twilight- HOW IS THIS EVEN LEGIT?! Harry Potter was published much before Twilight! Oh god, the reason is so stupid!"

"They misspelled 'Sirius' as well! Pathetic muggle." Kavin furiously said.

"#3, The logos. Oh my god." Purvi moaned. "The twilight logo is nowhere unique! Has the author even read Harry Potter?"

"#5, The hidden meaning in tittles." Kavin face palmed. "A) The spelling of 'titles' is wrong and B) This reason is wrong on so many levels."

"#6, The autheurs- Wait what?!" Purvi furiously shook her fist at the screen. "That's not even J K Rowling! And how can you not know who the author of a book you're reading is? And you just listed 6 reasons! Kill me now!" She said, leaning back and face palmed.

Kavin got up and without uttering a word walked to the kitchen. In a few minutes, he came back with two big pieces of chocolate in his hand.

"Eat." He said, pressing a piece into her hand, who grinned immediately. "It'll help you feel better."

"Are you trying a Remus Lupin impersonation on me?" She asked as she put away the laptop and curled up against Kavin. He put an arm around her.

"I guess it worked." Kavin grinned as he bit off a piece from his chocolate.

"Remind me, why is Twilight horrible again?" Purvi asked, eating a portion of her chocolate. She and Kavin had had that conversation many times, but it never got old. Kavin knew their arguments by heart.

"Well, let's see." Kavin pretended to think. "Firstly, there's the plot. Or the lack of plot. Take away the love triangle, and twilight is mostly about a girl who moves around a lot."

"And there's Harry Potter. No love triangle. There's love, but you know, a lot of choices are made on it. Lily's love for Harry is what saved him that night. Snape's love for Lily is what made him switch over to Dumbledore's side. And there is a plot. A boy has to defeat an evil wizard who's out to kill him and establish tyrannical control over the wizarding world. That's pretty much a legitimate plot." Purvi nodded at that.

"Then there's the characters." Purvi closed her eyes as if she was thinking deeply. "For example: Bella's a Mary sue. She cannot walk two steps without tripping over something or the other. And she's a whiner. From the moment she gets to the airport, she starts whining. 'Oh I don't want to leave,', "Oh it's too green in Forks,'. Really? And who names a city 'Forks'? That's kind of like naming a country, 'Spoons' or 'Kitchen utensil' or something. When her love interest leaves her, she falls into a deep depression. And once she becomes a vampire, then BAM! She's the perfect vampire who has a great amount of self-control over her bloodlust, grace and poise. And she obsesses over Edward every few pages. Really, it makes me want to throw her to the wolves."

"On the other hand, Hermione Granger is nothing like that. For starters, she's strong, independent and smart. When the love of her life left her, she continued helping Harry search for the horcruxes. And when Ron came back, she didn't run to him and forgive him just like that. She slapped him, called him a complete arse and only after a couple of days, forgave him. And she's actually done something. Like researching the basilisk. Punching Draco in the face for being a prat to her friends. And she's a great role model." Purvi said.

"I saw a couple of posts about people trolling on Dumbledore, Snape, James, etc." Kavin said through a mouthful of chocolate. He usually told her about stuff like this, just to hear her offer her opinion. He loved listening to them. It was one of the reasons why he loved her. She could understand him the best.

"Nutters, if you ask me." Purvi shook her head.

"Well, they may have a point."

"Yeah, well. Dumbledore dropping Harry off at the Dursleys was a horrible mistake. And yes, he made plenty more mistakes in the past and in the series. But this just shows how HUMAN the character was. We all make mistakes. Dumbledore was no exception."

"Snape?"

"Trolling on Snape never getting over Lily? Well, excuse him for not getting over his love for his best friend, a person who made friends with him when he needed the most. And he kept Harry alive. However grudgingly, even when he hated Harry, he kept him alive for her sake as well. He loved her enough to do that."

"James?"

"James grew out of that phase, remember? He became head boy and stopped bullying people for the heck of it. The rivalry between him and Snape was a schoolboy one. Plus, he was ready to take on Voldemort wandless, just to protect his wife and son. And if you forget that, I'll crucio you into oblivion."

"Point duly noted." Kavin said, kissing her forehead. "Did you see that post about Harry Potter being the worst role model?"

"Don't get me started on those posts." Purvi said. "I've had enough of those crazy muggles trolling Harry. I mean, really. Harry beating Voldemort for a dumb reason. So Harry's parent's deaths were a dumb reason? The fact that Voldemort in his pure blood obsession was establishing a tyrannical rule and killing off innocents is a dumb reason? And how the hell is Harry a douchebag? He never asked anyone to die for him. He took permission from Ron to date Ginny, even though she made a move on him first. I hate those muggles."

"Me too." Kavin said as he reached for the nearby TV remote and switched it on. To their great delight, it was playing 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone' on movies now.

"Aah, saved by the movie." Purvi said, finishing off her chocolate.

"The book is always better than the movie." Kavin decidedly said.

"Agreed. Now can we watch the movie in silence?" Purvi asked.

"Alright, Ginny Weasley." Kavin teased her.

"So I'm Ginny Weasley?" Purvi smirked at him.

"Yeah, as I'm Harry Potter." Kavin said dramatically.

"Oh really? Then where's your scar?"

"It's hidden. That good enough for you?"

"For now." Purvi laughed, making Kavin's heart speed up a bit. It was those little details that truly reminded him why he loved her.

"I love you." Kavin said, leaning over to kiss her. "Always."

"I love you too." She said, kissing him back. "Always."

And for that moment the movie lay forgotten.

DONE! If you guys have suggestions, don't hesitate to review with them. Pretty sure I screwed up the romance, so review!

Here are the links to those HP posts which Purvi mentioned about:

jemimaskelley/the-douchebag-who-lived

site/171337-harry-potter-is-the-worst-role-model-ever

twilight-vs-harry-potter/