Title: Disappear.

Chapter Title: Gone.

Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice.

Rating: T.

Warning: Slash. MalexMale. RoyxKaldur.

Notes: This is set after Episode 18, Secrets. Anything revealed in the later episodes will not be included.

Summary: RoyxKaldur. When Kaldur's magic disappears Young Justice's world seems to start crumbling around them. But not everything is as it seems.

It starts small.

One day during a battle Kaldur has to call a little harder to get his magic to come to the surface. When the battle is done and the criminal captured once more he tells himself that it is because it is their third mission in less than six weeks. That he simply has not had the time to recover properly. That he has overused his magic.

Batman tells them they have done good work and gives them two weeks off. The others grumble but Kaldur is pleased because he understands Batman's motivation. A team that is run ragged does not work at full potential and someone will get hurt. So he spends the two weeks resting and reconnecting with his magic in meditation.

But then it happens again. And again. He has to call that bit harder for anything to happen. Kaldur wonders to himself as he walks past the blaring TV at one in the morning if it is because he is lacking sleep. So he returns to the small apartment his King has bought for him in Maine, away from the noise of the Mountain to rest there instead.

It changes nothing; his magic will not come when he calls. He has to yell and fight to bring it to the surface and it worries him. It's like his magic is fighting back which makes no sense. His magic is a part of him, like an arm or leg. It would not fight back. It would not deny him.

Would it?

He carries on though; it's harder to fight but he manages. It drains his energy more than it use to until it results in a mission requiring two whole days of non-stop sleep to recover.

This . . . worries him. He is the team's leader, he must protect them. But if his magic is faltering then he cannot protect them to the best of his abilities.

This is why he is standing in the monitor room, silently waiting for Batman to finish typing up their latest mission. In all honesty Kaldur would like nothing more than to go home and collapse. He can barley feels his legs and every now and then he realises he's tipping to the side and has to straighten himself up. But it has gone on too long now. He is in no fit state to lead the team.

"There a problem Kaldur?" Batman asks, without turning round or stopping typing. Sometimes the Atlantean wonders if Batman has a second pair of eyes in the back of his head, hidden beneath his cowl for him to notice things the way he does.

"I have been having . . . issues with my magic."

That gets Batman's attention. Turning round the Dark Knight gives him an assessing look. "Explain."

"Over the last two months my magic has been steadily getter harder to call upon." Kaldur says, it somehow seems worse admitting it out loud and he has to swallow back the bile that suddenly rises in the back of his throat. "And it's been draining more and more energy when I do call upon it. I do not think I am in a fit state to be on the team, let alone lead it."

"I see."

Kaldur has to use every ounce of his military training not to fidget under Batman's gaze. He had held the Dark Knight in high esteem long before he even met the man. To train yourself to the point where you can take out enemies that can crush you with a single finger shows a dedication and loyalty, that were he an Atlantean, he would have already had a statue created in his honour. To receive praise from such a warrior makes Kaldur's heart soar just as earning his ire makes him feel worthless. For him to let it get to this state will no doubt invoke Batman's wrath.

"You're probably getting a mental block like M'gann did with her shape-shifting after the training simulation." Batman announces after a brief thoughtful pause. Kaldur blinks in surprise, recalling the first week following that disaster and how the Martian had flickered between green and Caucasian like a bad TV signal, unable to shape-shift into anything else. "I'll organise a one-on-one sessions with Canary later this week to see if she can bring you out of it, in the mean time try and work through your issues."

"Very well." Kaldur replies, inclining his head before turning and leaving Batman to continue his report. He . . . supposes Batman might right. But he had thought he had dealt with his issue of being team leader. He had taken Canary's advice and started researching the kinds of things expected of him. He had even gone as far as asking Batman to talk him through theoretical situations and trying to work out what he should do in them. His first instinct had to be leader not soldier. He knew that now. Or he thought he knew that now.

Shaking such thoughts from his head, the Atlantean stumbles through the echoing corridors to his room. He has exhausted himself beyond reasonable sense staying to talk to Batman after such a difficult mission and it is not possible for him to make it all the way to his apartment. Typing the right code into his door, it swooshes open and Kaldur stumbles gratefully in. He is unconscious before his head hits the pillow.


Kaldur wakes to bright light.

He groans low in the back of his throat and presses his fingers to his eyes in an attempt to bloke the light out.

"Kaldur'ahm?"

The quiet voice of Black Canary was not something he expected in his room. Sitting bolt upright the Atlantean blinks rapidly in order to clear his blurry vision and the blonde comes into focus.

"Forgive me for the light." She says once she has his attention, her hand falling away from the light switch she has obviously just turned on. "But I thought it the most prudent way to wake a sleeping soldier."

He nods at that. She must have heard what he accidently did to KF when the speedster thought it funny to try and draw on him in his sleep. Wally had come away with nothing more serious than a few bruises and a serious dent to his pride but everyone had learnt from that not to wake up Kaldur physically. He had yet to shake the habits he had developed while a soldier and reacting defensively when woken abruptly had been trained into them from the beginning.

"Batman seems to think I can bring your magic out so we will be training today." Canary continues, "I'll meet you in the training room in ten minutes, is that okay?"

Kaldur nods and she leaves with a smile. Groaning, he reaches for his comm. and winces when he sees the date. He has been asleep for three whole days.

Do not think about it. Kaldur tells himself as he struggles to his feet. Do not think about how it is getting worse.

And with gritted teeth the Atlantean strides out the door.

Three hours later and Kaldur finds himself on his knees in the middle of the training room, breathing heavily. Canary had pushed him harder than she ever had before; believing that once his magic was needed to save his life it would come to him.

It had not.

As a result Kaldur has two fractured ribs and a serious cut to his right leg. He will not be going on missions any time soon. It is probably a good thing.

"We'll try again soon." Canary says, leaning down to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I promise you we will work through this."

Kaldur wonders if she is right. Perhaps his magic leaving him is not due to a mental block but something else entirely? The problem is that the person to go to about his magic is Queen Mera. And, presently, she is stressed enough already - there have been several attempts on the unborn Heir's life already. He cannot bring this problem to her until he is absolutely certain that is simply not him having issues due to the simulation. He will not add more stress to his Queen's life than he has to.

"You'll see Kaldur." Canary says gently, pulling him to his feet. "We keep practising like this and things will change."


Nothing changes.

His magic has to be forced to the surface and it's difficult. Difficult in a way it never was, even in the beginning when he was first learning how to use his gift. As the weeks go on Kaldur feels fear rising in him. Canary pushes him to his limit and beyond each day (though she remains mindful of his previous injuries) steadily inflicting more damage on him in the hope that his magic will surface.

"Um, Kaldur?"

Pulled from his thoughts, the Atlantean turns to his left where M'gann is hovering nervously.

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering," M'gann mumbles, twisting her fingers nervously together as she inches closer, "what the, er, purpose of your training with Canary is?"

Dread settles like a physical weight in the pit of Kaldur's stomach. "Pardon?"

"It's just," M'gann says quickly, almost as if now that's she's started talking she can't stop, "that you are getting some quite serious injuries," Here she looks pointedly at the kitchen table where Kaldur has left out the medical thread and needle from stitching up a gash on his arm, "and we were wondering why."

"We?"

"Myself and Conner." M'gan replies promptly, offering him an unsure smile.

"The training is . . ." He tries to finds the right word to say without giving anything away. He doesn't want them to know how weak he has become. Batman has drilled it into his head that the leader has to be strong at all times. That the team will look to him even when they're off-duty and if he appears to be weakening in any way they will stop trusting his judgement so much in battle. He will get through this and will be the leader he was before. He has to be. No one else can take his place. "It is necessary."

Necessary. A simple word that portrays none of the horror he feels every time his magic fails to save him from Canary's attacks.

"Oh." M'gann mutters. "Um, could I ask - "

"Have you and Conner been practising your aerial manoeuvres?" He interrupts before she can finish that question. He'd rather avoid having to tell her to mind her own business. If he won't tell her what's going on, she'll know something is wrong. "You've been spending a lot of time together so I assume it's because you are practising. If you get it right the two of you could provide a variety of very damaging combo attacks."

"Ah," M'gann replies, blushing furiously. "Um, yes, we have practised. So I will be, um, be going, er, now. Thank you Kaldur."

And she quickly flies out the door, her cheeks as red as her hair. Kaldur fights back the annoyance at himself for using M'gann's relationship with Conner against her. He knows that they think they have kept it secret and he presumes they want to keep it quiet for a while longer due to their team-mates. In particular Artemis and Wally. Artemis. He thinks that the blonde may have worked it out. He has to make sure she's okay. It is not his place to tell his team-mate's personal secrets to one another but when said secrets might put his team-mates at odds he has to make sure they are . . . dealing with things correctly.

Kaldur sighs, feeling a headache coming on. He cares a great deal for his team-mates and friends but sometime he feels like he's constantly running around after them. Even when they are simply hanging out he ends up being the one to diffuse Artemis' and Wally's arguments, to stop Conner from getting too angry over the little things and to ensure that Robin isn't secretly doing something he shouldn't be (like trying to hack another military satellite. Again.) The only person he can simply be himself with is Roy.

Roy.

Maybe they could spend some time together, it might calm his nerves. And get him away from the inquisitive M'gann and Conner. Chances are that, now M'gann's subtle approach has failed, the clone will be coming to confront him. A night away is exactly what he needs.


Roy has an 'open door' invitation when it comes to Kaldur. The blond is allowed to drop over any time he wants as long as he brings some kind of food and neither Robin or KF with him. If he wasn't there then Kaldur could let himself in and wait or come back later. The archer had said he was always pleased to see Kaldur, no matter what time of day or night.

It doesn't take long for Kaldur to make his way from one of the Star City zeta-tubes to Roy's preferred pizzeria. Once there he gets a large pizza with mushrooms, peppers and onions (Roy's favourite) and makes his way through the streets of Star City.

Kaldur has always liked this city and not just because it is beside the sea. This was the first place his King took him to on the surface. They had stood on the beach and his mentor had pointed out the bridge (which he had found amusing at the time – why couldn't they simply swim across the harbour? It wasn't that far even for humans) and many other things that Kaldur had found utterly exciting. Green Arrow and the then-Speedy had tuned up an hour later and invited them to lunch. Roy was a grumpy person by nature but he had always been kind to Kaldur. That first meeting Roy had been careful to pick out things from the menu he thought Kaldur might like, patiently explaining things to him as they sat and waited for their food. When the waiter had eventually brought their meal he had noticed Kaldur's gills beneath the disguise that the Arrow duo had handed him and started making fun of him for 'skin deformity.' Roy had reacted badly to that, standing up and yelling at the waiter so loudly that the whole restaurant had turned and stared. It had taken Ollie (heavily disguised with a brown wig and sunglasses) quite an effort to calm his partner down and get him to sit back in his seat. Roy had leant across the table the moment the man had hurried back to the kitchen and said, "It's not what you look like that's important. It's what's on the inside that counts and how you take the world on with that."

In that moment Kaldur had decided that Roy would be his friend for life. Someone who was prepared to defend him barley an hour after meeting him was someone worthwhile. As such, even when Roy refused to join the team, he made sure to spend time with the archer. And, as a result, he was always welcomed at the redhead's apartment.

Clutching the pizza carefully in one hand, the blond raps sharply on the door to Roy's apartment. There's some muttered swearing from inside before the door swings open to reveal its owner. Roy is dressed in a pair of creased tracksuit bottoms and t-shirt and his flaming red hair is sticking up at odd angles as he rubs one eye with a fist.

"I am interrupting your sleep? Should I leave you in peace?" Kaldur asks, worried. If Roy is sleeping this early then he must have pushed himself quite hard recently. Perhaps he should have called in advance . . .

"Nah." Roy mumbles through a yawn, "You brought pizza."

Kaldur smiles at that, offering up the box which Roy hungrily takes from his hands.

"So what brings you to my doorstep?" Roy asks, kicking the door shut when Kaldur steps in.

"Company."

Roy smirks. "The less junior kind of company?"

Kaldur says nothing which, of course, to Roy says everything.

Laughing, the redhead wraps an arm round Kaldur's shoulders, "Relax. I won't tell them you had to run away."


Roy's presence is calming. Simply being with the redhead seems to drains Kaldur's worries away. The archer expects Kaldur to be nothing but himself and that kind of acceptance always cheers Kaldur up.

As Kaldur obediently drops onto the sofa as ordered to by Roy he can already feel his worries draining away.

"Usual rubbish bothering you?" Roy asks, coming out the kitchen with a plate for Kaldur. While Roy never bothers with such things as plates when he eats pizza, Kaldur has always preferred to have one much to Roy's amusement.

Kaldur makes an agreeing noise in the back of his throat and slides a piece of pizza onto his plate before leaning back into the cushions. Roy gives him an odd look as he turns the television on with the remote and flicks to their favourite channel.

"You sound like you're holding back on me." Roy points out, gently prodding Kaldur in the side with a finger.

"I'm sure it's nothing." Kaldur says, dismissively. "I just want to relax."

"I understand." Roy mutters, offering Kaldur a gentle smile. "Let's watch some rubbish TV."

Kaldur grins in response, finally allowing his focus to be taken up by the TV alone. They eat the pizza while Roy makes rude comments about the characters they are watching every once in a while, making Kaldur laugh. Everything is warm and comfortable and if his life could always be like it is in this moment Kaldur thinks it would be so much easier.

When the pizza is finished, Kaldur tucks his legs under him and leans back against the cushions, yawning. The tiredness he has been fighting off since his training session with Canary begins to creep up on him. He can feels his eyes fluttering shut despite his best attempts to stay awake and enjoy his time with Roy.

"You big moron." A quiet voice mutters gruffly in his ear, as an arm wraps round his shoulders pulling him close to Roy. "If you're tired, go to sleep."

Kaldur thinks he may have made an agreeing noise in the back of his throat before sleeps finally claimed him.


Kaldur wakes up wrapped in Roy's arms. They are both spread out across the sofa, his head pillowed on the redhead's chest. He wonders briefly, as he tries to wriggle away without waking Roy up, how that happened. Considering his training he would have thought that Roy would have set off his training at some point.

Straightening up which makes his back click, the Atlantean looks down at his still sleeping friend. Not that Kaldur will ever tell Roy this but the archer looks almost cute in his sleep. His red hair stands on end and he scrunches his nose while he sleeps. Smiling to himself Kaldur starts rifling through the piles of paper on Roy's coffee table until he finds a small piece of relatively unwritten on paper and a pen. He scrawls a Thank you, see you later onto the paper and tucks it into Roy's loose fist before heading for the door.

He's feeling surprisingly groggy today, not a good thing considering it is team training today. But he will persevere; it's what he has to do as leader.

This determination falters when he steps out the zeta-tubes to see M'gann and Conner waiting for him. The rest of the team are there as well, cheerfully chatting as they wait for Canary but the two are just standing there, staring at him.

Kaldur inhales deeply as he fights off his growing worry about their resident couple. They can't possibly know. And they cannot force it out of him.

"Team." Canary calls out as she steps through the door, already shrugging off her jacket. Kaldur is exceptionally grateful to see her. "We're going to go for defensive manoeuvres today. We'll start off by everyone pairing up and one of you being unconscious and the other having to protect them. Later we'll move on to one of you protecting two or more people."

Kaldur resists wincing as he moves to stand in place at the side of the ring. Usually this sort of thing is easy for him; with his water-bearers he can create dome-like shields around his team-mates to protect them. But with the way his magic's been reacting recently this may cause a problem.

"Pair up." Canary orders. Usually Kaldur teams up with Artemis because M'gann and Superboy like to be together (for obvious reasons) and neither he nor Artemis will put up with Robin or KF's antics during training. He turns to walk towards the blonde when a pair of hands clasps his arm.

Turning round he is surprised to see M'gann offering him a shy smile. "Would you be my partner for today?"

Kaldur wants to protest because he knows this is about Canary's training and his injuries but he can't. Superboy has already stomped off towards Artemis and he has no logical reason to say no to M'gann without revealing the truth.

"Of course." Kaldur mutters offering her a tight smile. M'gann grins in response and steps closer to him, releasing his arm.

"Artemis, Superboy. You're up." Black Canary announces when everyone has done as she's told them. They both start moving forward when –

"Hey, isn't Kaldur the best at this?" Robin asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "So shouldn't he go first to demonstrate what to do?"

Superboy scowls at that while M'gann stiffens beside him. It's clear that they had some sort of plan on how to stop him from overworking himself today that Robin has just spectacularly ruined. But, at the very least, they are kind enough not to bring his problem to everyone else's attention as they say nothing when Kaldur inclines his head and steps forward into the ring.

"M'gann, lie down on the floor." Their instructor orders. "And I'll try and get past Kaldur to you. I won't hurt you but every time I get close enough I'll try and tap you okay? If I tap you three times you will be the equivalent of dead."

"But what if you tap her at her throat or something?" Artemis asks, "Won't she be dead then?"

"We're going to build up to that sort of level where it's where the tap on the body is that matter. For now we'll start here."

The others nod their agreement as Kaldur slides into a defensive position in front of M'gann, who is lying obediently on the floor. He tugs out his water-bearers, holding them tightly in each hand.

"Begin." Canary announces, starting to circle them. Kaldur inhales deeply, focuses internally and reaches for his magic.

There's nothing there.

With a cry, Kaldur drops his water-bearers to the floor and presses his hands to his temples. How can that be? Even when his magic took time to respond he could still feel it flowing beneath his skin alongside his blood but now it's as if there's nothing there. Like there's a wall blocking him from his magic.

He closes his eyes as he presses his forehead against the cool floor and calls. He calls and calls. Yelling with every fibre of his being but there's nothing coming. Nothing at all. Where is his magic?

"Kaldur?" M'gann's voice. She is worried. And he should respond to her. He knows this. But he just can't. Because his magic is not answering his call. And it's wrong, all wrong. And the team is there and he needs to be strong for them but how can he be when his magic is gone?

"Kaldur, what's wrong?"

"Come on Kal, talk to us."

"He's crying. Why's he crying?"

Is he? He feels hollow inside. Dead even. His magic – his magic!

"Kaldur." Warm hands press against his face, tilting it upwards until he finds himself looking into Canary's concerned voice. "Kaldur, your magic?"

"It won't respond." He chokes out. He's shaking he knows. But he can't stop. "It's like it's not there."

"It's going to be okay." Canary tells him, pulling the Atlantean into her arms until his forehead is pressed against her shoulder. "It's going to be okay. We will call Aquaman. He'll know what to do."

There's a scurry of feet and then Robin's voice, low and worried, is talking hurriedly to his King but Kaldur cannot bring himself to care. All he can bring himself to do is weep into Canary's shoulder because Kaldur knows that if he does not have his magic, he does not have anything.

End Chapter One: Gone.

I hope that I got Kaldur right. If anyone has any constructive criticism on the whole thing, but especially how I portray Kaldur, I'd love to hear it. I love him but find him difficult to write. Thank you for taking the time to read this.