Disclaimer: No matter how much I beg George Lucas sell it to me, all he ever does is laugh at my puny offer, so I do believe that means that I will never, ever own Star Wars...as much as it breaks my heart to admit it. Despite that, I still like to occasionally borrow his little toys...and I promise that I'll return them...at some point...
Summary: Just another fight. One-shot/Obi-Wan/Anakin/fight on Mustafar. Obi-Wan-perspective. When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. ~Dale Carnegie...Emotional, thought-based story. EpisodeIII: ROTS
Author's Note: Wow...it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry to all my Tanshin followers who were hoping for another chapter, I am actually currently starting to work on revising and filling in some pretty big plot-holes in the last few chapters that I posted. So once I'm done with that, I'll start to post again... (more information about why I disappeared for over eight months can be found on my profile) Until then, here's something else to read:
As for this story...well...it's been in the making for over a year now, since before March of 2010...every once in while I'd write a sentence or two, correct the existing ones and in general just brush up on it, however, just this past Saturday, I had a burst of writing and by the end of the day, I had written three drafts, added two pages to the existing two, and had finally completed it. Sunday was spent brushing up on everything, by the end of the weekend it was pretty much ready to be published. And so here it is. But I will say this: this fic has been so much to write - it's been a rant, a vent, an emotional release, an analysis, just...a heck of a lot of things, through a lot of different, and often times stressful situations... And even if it's confusing to others…well…heh, I'm not even sure if I understand everything that went into this...though the more I've read and defined it, the more I have... Regardless, for that reason, this has been completely un-betaed, and all mistakes made, I take complete responsibility for. And frankly - I don't particularly care what anyone else thinks, this fic is perfect for what I wanted to say, and what I wished to express... So, I suppose that's it... I hope you enjoy it, and I wouldn't mind hearing what you think about it! :)
And if you really want to know part of the reason I was able to complete it so quickly, check out 1jonde1's channel on Youtube, specifically his video: "Obi-Wan Kenobi - Give Me A Sign", and his "Obi-Wan Kenobi - Someday I'll Talk About It". Definitely helped put me in the right frame of mind to write Obi-Wan, and this story in general. And believe me, watching those videos, listening to that music, is very, very well worth it.
Oh, and interesting note - I did have my best friend look it over - to at least make sure that it's worth being published, and apparently the type of writing I used for this was called "Stream of Consciousness", which basically means that I used first, second, and third person in writing this story - heh, who knew my random gibberish actually had a name? Lol...if you want to know more about it just look it up...
Read and Review! :) (And this is the first time that I've ever written a story like this, so I would definitely appreciate feedback)
The burning smoke that seared my lungs…
The falling ash that clouded my vision…
The soft whisper as my feet crossed the durasteel platform…
The cool, comforting weight of my lightsaber slipping into my hand…
The gentle caress of the Force against my conscience, calming my mind and preparing my body…
Just another fight…
He charged at me…
Just another time that we cross blades…
Blocking the oh so familiar strikes…
Reacting instinctively to the favored attack, parrying just so, and the blade was brushed aside, a threat neutralized…
Except this time…
This time, we would not be ending with shared grins…
There would be no helping hand reaching down to pull me up…
Nor, would I be doing the same for him…
No teasing about a mere padawan's superiority over his "old" master…
No sharp retaliation claiming a lucky blow…
No, this was not a training duel, nor a friendly fight between two friends…
No, this time the blade would come sweeping back up; its deadly intent to take my head…
This was a battle where my former apprentice would hold his blade to my throat, not to end the duel; but to end my life…
I have to say to my shame, the name Negotiator was what I wished to be…
But I know in my mind that I would not be able to talk my misguided apprentice out of what he intended to do...what he was going to do…
But your heart does not always follow your head …
And emotions, no matter how long they've been trained could not be reasoned…
So I tried, I screamed, I yelled, pleaded, reasoned…begged…
Tried, tried so hard to make him remember!
The grins that accompanied a job well done…
The slap on the back after being rescued from a near death experience…
The gentle, teasing banter well-defined from years of watching each other's blunders and most embarrassing moments…
The absolute certainty… He's watching my back…
The doubtless faith… He'll come for me…
He'll always be there…
The friendship…the unbreakable bond that I thought we shared…
Master and apprentice, brother in arms, friend, comrade…son…
The love that came from going to the edge and being brought back…again and again…
And I was ignored, denied…
By burning red eyes, accusing in their endless rage….
By cutting accusations…
By a scornful voice that used to exchange playful words, but was now bitter and cruel…
By a heart that had become so twisted that hate was thought to be love…
Ambition and pride to be protection…
And by a dark, twisted Force that whispered despair and temptations…
That offered power to destroy those who had wiped out his family, the Jedi…
That spoke to my innermost desire to bring him back!
To give me the power to end this!
Whose dark tendrils sought to weave their way into my heart, into my mind, threatening to overcome me, my morals, my foundations…
Whose quiet whispers of the cruel deeds, the slaughter he had carried out, even on the younglings…innocent children…
It fueled the thoughts – They didn't deserve it!
The hurt, the emotional pain of betrayal that was sharper than any knife – "You were my brother, Anakin, I loved you!" …I would do anything for you…!
The blinding disbelief – "You are the Chosen One! You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them!"
The forbidden rage – How could you betray them? How could you betray me?
The aching confusion – What did I miss? How could you do this? How could you do this to Padmé? …How could you do this to me…?
And then heart crushing guilt – How could I have been so blind? I failed. I made this man, this creature…this murderer who took every principle that had been noble and true and twisted it to his own version of justice!
Justice. A word that now left a bitter taste in my mouth and a hole in my heart. Where it had once meant warmth and peace, now it only gave me the sickening feeling of nausea…
When had justice become the slaughter of younglings?
When had justice become wiping out an entire way of life? So many lives…
Had Bant's joyful, ringing laughter been silence?
Was Quinlan, too sarcastic and blunt to be a successful negotiator, yet a treasured friend – always there to watch your back…was he too dead?
Had Garen's matchless determination and flying skills kept him alive, even against his own clones' ruthless attacks?
Was Reefe, ever active and ready for anything, whether it be an evening with friends, or a challenging mission – did his body now lie cold and still?
And finally…the last nagging question: am I the only one left? The last survivor, doomed to live alone, isolated, in a galaxy I once protected, hiding, fleeing, always looking over my shoulder, never again to have the sense of home, of family, of friends…is this my life now?
But then, as doubt began to creep in, the teachings came back…the quiet whisper of teachers long dead, of childhood memories, of the hardest missions and the most trying of times…
The death of a loved one, the loss of a well-known voice…
The comfort of friends…the laughter of family…the laughter that made it family…
The destruction of a planet, torn by civil war…
A gentle, guiding hand on his back, showing him the way…
An impossible negotiation with road blocks at every turn…
The soft voice that calmed his worries…
An impossible triumph…
The absolute confidence of an ancient, riddle-ridden troll…
And with it, the unbreakable knowledge, that no matter what, I am, first and foremost, a Jedi…
That my duty was the same as it had always been…
Protector, keeper of justice, guardian of the innocent, and the one thing that stands between the galaxy and an insurmountable threat…
And the Light came rushing back, strengthening, guiding – banishing the Dark from her struggling child that was trying so hard to keep balance…
Determination hardened…he would do what he had to. He would numb the memories, and pain, the emotions that clouded his vision. He would no longer dwell on the past, no; he would turn his sites to now. To ending this…once and for all…to ending him…to completing his duty and tearing out his heart…
The Force swirled around us…
Light and Dark…
Push verses Pull…
Good verses Evil…
Friend verses Enemy…
The fight of a lifetime…was about to end…
Yep, pressing that blue colored text and typing up a few encouraging words would definitely make my day!
