DISCLAIMER: The following is fan fiction utilizing events and characters from two of television's most famous detective series: "Columbo" and "Monk". It is fan fiction only… there is NO intent here to collect income or infringe on the trademarks, copyrights, or patented work of others. Please DO NOT use this material for anything other than pure reading enjoyment.


Mr. Monk Meets Lieutenant Columbo


Synopsis: A brutal murder at the Los Angeles Zoo appears to be just one small link in a larger chain of events. Hoping to speed along his newest homicide investigation, the legendary Lt. Columbo calls his colleague Leland Stottlemeyer in San Francisco and formally requests assistance. Everyone in California, you see, has heard of the infamous Adrian Monk and his super powered detective skills.

Will Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger accept Columbo's invitation to assist him with the ongoing investigation?

Will Captain Leland Stottlemeyer and Lt. Randy Disher tag along?

Will TWO top investigators, Monk and Columbo, be sufficient brain power to solve this mysterious murder? Or will they drive each other crazy?

Author's Notes: I have to say, the "series finale" of "Monk" is one of my favorite of all time. "Mr. Monk and the End" really pulled everything together and made the whole series complete. This story takes place shortly after the conclusion of the series, even though Columbo would have long since retired. Mom and I watched him the entire time I was growing up, and he (along with the traditional raincoat) will always be Columbo, even though he took a brief respite from playing TV's most famous detective in order to narrate the wonderful "Princess Bride". Through the magic of fan fiction, an elderly Columbo remains with the LAPD long enough to work this particular case with Adrian Monk.

Also, the map of the Los Angeles zoo provided on my profile page is very basic and non-specific. I'm using it so that both writer and reader have a basic reference as to where specific scenes take place. I've found that the technique of using at least generalized graphics can help me greatly throughout a project, and also assist the reader in better visualizing scenes. The exhibits and locations within the zoo are mostly mine… I have never been to this particular tourist attraction. So the vast majority of the animals, vendor booths and decorations have all been created specifically for this story.


Death Visits The Los Angeles Zoo


Friday morning, 1:05 a.m. PDT


Devon Petersen glanced down at the pair of nines in his head and shook his dark haired head firmly. "You win Ed," he told Edward Casington, the elderly, gray haired security officer sitting opposite him. "Believe it or not, I got nothin' once again." Frustrated, he tossed his five cards onto the small table in front of him and reached for his partner's discarded hand. Sighing deeply, he began a quick shuffle of the cards while old Ed sipped tepid coffee half-heartedly from a white foam cup.

Surrounding the two of them was an impressive array of technology – computers and display screens that offered a close up look at more than seventy percent of the Los Angeles Zoo. Even the private, fenced areas not open to the public – sites reserved primarily for maintenance and animal care crews – were normally available for surveillance by the zoo's security team. Now, however, the current time was well after normal zoo hours and most of the outdoor surveillance cameras were powered down. Soon, it had been promised, cameras with night vision would be available. That kind of promise, unfortunately, was all too often fully dependent upon the status of the zoo's budget, the availability of county and local funding, along with the generosity of its donors. For now, the security team made do by conducting regular and unscheduled walks around the grounds during the night time. And the monitors that showed what was happening at key areas inside the Administrative office complex remained fully functional even during the late night hours.

Unexpectedly, Petersen's transceiver crackled electronically to life. "Lauden to Peterson," said an all too familiar voice. "Could you come outside for a minute?"

Petersen groaned slightly and picked up the walkie talkie. "What's up Frank?" he asked curiously.

"I think I heard someone walking around… I'm over by the fountain."

"I'll be right there," promised Petersen, rising from his seat and hooking the radio to his belt. He rolled his eyes in Ed's direction, smiling at the old man. "Think you can hold things together in here for a minute?"

"Sure," Ed nodded warily, his own inquisitiveness obvious. "The fountain… that's right near this building. How could anyone have gotten through the security fence?"

"I don't know," said Petersen honestly. "It's probably nothing. If it isn't, I'll call in the cops."

Devon stepped out into the darkness and walked due north, leaving behind the main entrance to the Los Angeles zoo's small Security and First Aid building. He walked firmly toward Eucalyptus Grove, and the increasing sound of water flowing through the large fountain centered there gradually overpowered the steady sound of crickets chirping in the background. "I can't see or hear anything unusual," he stated truthfully, tugging gently on his uncomfortable, light blue shirt and black tie with his left hand. Although the sun was long since down for the night, it was still mighty warm and uncomfortable outside. Devon's right hand dropped anxiously toward the walkie talkie attached to his belt – his sole ability to call for help if there was indeed a looming emergency. "There's nobody else out here."

"Keep walking towards me," suggested Frank Lauden, his partner of many years. Mild electronic distortion clouded the brief transmission, but Peters was used to the feedback and able to mentally filter the brief message.

Frustrated, the security guard pulled the walkie talkie free and held it up to his mouth. "I'd love to. Where exactly are you?" Petersen asked curiously, squinting as he moved cautiously from one lamp post to the next. The illuminated areas were easy to see and approach, but everything else in the surrounding area was draped in the dark, all-encompassing shadows of the night. He paused for a few brief seconds, long enough to remove a large flashlight from his belt and switch it on. Continuing to walk north, he poked the bright, steady beam back and forth toward nearby areas of possible concealment.

"I'm standing on the north side of the fountain near the grove… and I definitely heard something."

Petersen continued moving slowly forward, toward the sound of the fountain's rushing water. Strategically placed conveniently close to the walkway leading into the main zoo area, it was a very popular attraction that invariably lured most of the zoo's visitors to stop for at least a brief once over. Essentially, the fountain was an enormous tribute to fairy tales that had been carefully shaped and created by the loving hands of several local artists. A lengthy, tapered castle tower reached steadily upward from the center, representing the prison where the mythical Rapunzel had supposedly been held. Indeed, out of one tiny window high up near its apex were rolling locks of her lengthy hair flowing out and steadily downward.

Specifically how the artists had managed to shape and form artistry of this detail using only buckets, water, a special form of workable concrete and small metal tools remained somewhat of a mystery to those who had not been present to witness its creation. Normally used to working with several tons of sand in front of tourists on beaches, they had been recruited by zoo staff familiar with their work to create this particular display out of a more permanent cement mix. Impressed by the final product, the zoo's maintenance staff had even found some sort of transparent sealant to permanently cover the finished product and thereby prepare it for the constant flow of water. Since the central tower was hollow, it had been easy to prepare the entire display in advance for its eventual transformation into a large fountain.

Surrounding the tower were other creatures and characters from the fairy tales originally written by the Brothers Grimm. The slim, beautiful Cinderella stood facing Devon, stepping out of a giant pumpkin carriage with wheels. Huge horses with carefully shaped, wavy manes stood waiting in front, and one of her slippers lay nearby for her prince to find. To her left, Hansel and Gretel moved slowly through a small grove of trees shaped entirely out of sand, dropping their traditional bread crumbs to mark their progress. Opposite of Cinderella, Snow White sat smiling in a simple high-backed chair, surrounded on all sides by the seven dwarves. Behind her, lying on a luxurious bed carefully formed from carefully shaped concrete, was the infamous Sleeping Beauty. Wicked witches and other fairy creature characters were also present, all of them encircling the central tower that served as Rapunzel's prison.

From the top of the sinister looking tower, a steady stream of water gurgled out of a custom made spout, running down all sides and across most of the fairy creatures captured in artistically crafted cement below. An oval shaped aluminum fence had been carefully constructed to surround the edges of the circular base and contain the steadily flowing water. Holes strategically drilled near the edges of the rim allowed the water to flow beneath the cement base – back into a recycling pump that rerouted the liquid back up through the center of the tower for yet another journey back down. The entire attraction was impossible to admire in one simple sitting; many of the zoo's visitors would return several times throughout the day and spend a great deal of time examining its many different characters.

Children were always reluctant to leave, and seldom did so before asking one or both parents for a handful of nickels and pennies to toss toward their favorite part of the exhibit. No one knew precisely how long the sealant would last… sooner or later the cement would crack or the steady erosion of the running water would ruin everything. The uncertainty of how long that would take was one of the key components to the fountain's popularity and a big part of its lure. During most of the day when visitors were plenty, cameras and video devices worked overtime to capture images of a fantastic display that was only temporary. One day it would crack or begin to fall apart, and then something new would have to take its place.

His anxiety climbing steadily higher with each passing minute, Devon Petersen held tight to his walkie-talkie as he eased past the gurgling fountain. There was too much shadowy darkness to make out anything more than general shapes, but he could tell that Rumpelstiltskin sat next to him just inside the fountain's metal fence. The famous gnome's unmoving, hump-backed shape was frozen in time as he sat busily working to turn straw into gold using a simple spinning machine. Behind the legendary gnome, the outline of a large wolf in Grandmother's nighttime clothing was clearly visible stalking Red Riding Hood, an attractive but innocent-looking little girl whose carefully crafted expression on a normal, sunlit day offered the appearance that she was completely unaware of the danger she was in.

"There's nothing here, Frank," insisted Petersen with growing frustration, even though his apprehension refused to ease. A sixth sense in the back of his mind was in fact suggesting that possible danger lurked, but for now he was content to dismiss such feelings as simple, nervous energy. He took a few more cautious steps forward and moved past the fountain, into a small cluster of eucalyptus trees drenched almost entirely in darkness. Farther on and beneath one of the overhead lights designed to light the zoo at night, he could see the partially silhouetted outline of his partner patiently waiting for him. Though mostly hidden in shadows, Frank Lauden's shorter, stout figure was unmistakable.

"I am certain there is someone else here," replied his partner after noticing his partner was close enough to allow him the luxury of switching off his own radio. Surrounded by inky black shadow, Lauden took a few steps toward Devon Petersen and then paused. Behind him, the tall, lean shape of another man emerged from a large row of bushes and stepped confidently into view. The figure was shrouded almost totally by darkness and impossible to recognize.

"Frank, look out!" Petersen shouted in warning, aiming his flashlight directly toward the newcomer. "There's someone behind you!" He shifted his walkie talkie from his left hand to his right, while at the same time moving the flashlight to his left hand. His thumb moved toward the transmit button in an effort to send a warning to the central security desk in the Administrative complex, but a familiar voice froze him in his tracks.

"It's just me, Petersen," a familiar voice growled, somewhat irritably from behind Lauden. The newcomer held up a left hand awkwardly, using it to shield his eyes from the intense glow of the powerful flashlight.

Instantly the hair on the back of Petersen's neck stiffened. "Mike, what are you doing here?" he asked curiously, trying to avoid sounding defensive but failing miserably. He immediately recognized the voice, and it belonged to the last person he wanted to talk to just now. "How did you get inside the fence?"

"I let him in," said Lauden, folding his arms in front of him. Petersen couldn't see his expression, but he didn't at all like the tone of voice his partner was suddenly using. He hesitated, unsure of what to say next. Off to the northeast, he heard an exotic call from one of the exotic birds housed there.

"I just stopped by to have a brief conversation with Frank here," stated Mike tersely, still standing near the bush row behind Lauden. "We have a lot of merchandise hidden on this complex, after all, and I thought it best to check up on you two from time to time." He paused, just long enough to escalate Petersen's anxiety even more. "I put a GPS locator in the briefcase, Petersen. I've been watching it for weeks in order to make sure it stays where you two were supposed to bury it."

"That's how we know it's been moved," snapped Lauden, sounding much more confident than he had during the initial transmission that he had dispatched in order to lure Petersen outdoors.

"Your partner has convinced me that it wasn't him," continued Mike. "So what did you do with the stash Devon… that's all we want to know. Give us back the merchandise, and everything is okay."

His fingers shaking through the entire process, Petersen reattached the walkie talkie to his belt and then held up a hand of his own to shield him from the return glare of Frank Lauden's flashlight. The beam was stabbing out of the darkness and its light had illuminated him totally. "Okay… I was going to tell you guys later," he stated truthfully. "I couldn't live with it… knowing that we had so much valuable merchandise hidden here, right out in the open." He shrugged. "I know we had an agreement, but I just wanted to make certain they were safe."

"Bull. Where are my diamonds?" Clearly evident by his raised voice, Mike the mysterious newcomer was not in the mood for games. "My locator puts the brief case within range of the Administration building. For your sake and that of your wife and daughter, I dearly hope you didn't break our agreement and tell someone about our little stash…"

"No," Petersen insisted with a sharp shake of his head. "I couldn't stand seeing the newly dug dirt around the spot where we hid it… that's all. The animal trainers and caretakers were driving right past the location in their jeeps and trucks, and it was clearly obvious that something had been buried there. Sooner or later someone would have gotten curious and looked. So I moved it, that's all." The lies poured out of his mouth and revealed themselves instantly – he was not good at deception and had not expected the other two to respond so swiftly.

"You moved ten million dollars in diamonds to the Administration building?" Now Frank Lauden was clearly teed off. "What were you thinking Devon? We've talked about this over and over…"

"He wasn't concerned about us," said Mike accusingly. "You were planning on taking them out of the zoo and keeping it all, weren't you?" He nearly spat out each word, he was so furious. "A twenty percent cut of ten and a half million dollars wasn't enough for you… you wanted everything for yourselfdidn't you?" A bright blue square of light suddenly appeared in his left hand, clearly revealing a small, portable GPS tracking screen. The soft glow from the device also revealed the .38 caliber gun gripped tightly in his right.

"No, I swear to you both," said a clearly rattled Petersen. "The office complex is just temporary. By morning the stash would have been in a new location… through the trees next to the maintenance shed over by the giraffe pen. One of those trees has a weird knothole and can be easily located. I swear I wasn't going to steal all those diamonds – I wouldn't do that to you guys… not after everything we've been through together." Hoping to allay the fears of the other two, Devon Petersen reached into his pocket and retrieved something. He held out his left hand and shone the beam of his flashlight onto half a dozen or so medium-sized, glittering gemstones. "I took a few of them to exchange for cash," he told them. "In case we needed some extra money to tide us over until the time comes to cash in the rest. The briefcase will be in a safer location by morning, I promise. You can trust me."

"If we could trust you, you wouldn't have moved the case in the first place." The enigmatic man named Mike stepped angrily forward and furiously slapped Petersen's hand, causing the gemstones to fly away into the night, sparkling through the subdued lighting like colorful fireflies. "But you are right about one thing," nodded the mysterious intruder firmly. "The briefcase will be safe by morning. That's why I chose two of you in the first place – in case one of you proved to be… untrustworthy."

"Mike, honest to God…" The sentence trailed off as Mike suddenly lashed out and struck Devon Petersen hard with the pistol he held. The security guard's head snapped back, and he cried out in pain before dropping to his knees. Furious and uncontrolled, the zoo's unwelcome after hours guest reared back and hit him again… at the base of the skull this time. Petersen dropped instantly to the rocky walking path and groaned audibly. He twitched uncontrollably for several seconds and then went completely still. For the next minute or two, there was only the sound of crickets and an occasional bird call. Around them, a soft breeze had crept in, chasing away much of the muggy night air.

"Geez Mike, you never said anything about killing him," gasped a shocked Frank Lauden. He bent over his partner's prone body and carefully checked Petersen's neck for a pulse. Standing back up, he began backing slowly away from the man standing next to him. You just made me an accessory to murder."

"I risked my entire career for this small fortune," replied Mike grimly. He turned his head, and the glow from Lauden's flashlight revealed curly, sandy-brown hair and an unshaven chin. "You're my inside man here in the zoo now, my only option." Still fuming, he opened his jacket and tucked the weapon away using an inner pocket. "What do you care? Your share of the take just went up to forty percent."

"I liked Devon," Lauden protested honestly. "He was my friend and so were his wife and kid. Whatever he was going to do, you didn't have to kill him for it."

"Your so-called friend was going to sell us out," snapped Mike sharply in response. "Either he was going to grab his family and run with everything or he was going to turn us in to the authorities. There's no other reason for him to have moved the briefcase." He took a deep breath and frowned. In the darkness of the night and the reduced, peripheral glow from Frank Lauden's flashlight, his expression was unreadable.

"I don't like this," decided Lauden with a frightened shake of his head. "I don't like this at all."

"All the more reason for you to shut up and stick to our plan," Mike hissed angrily. "You and I are both in it now, up to our necks. So maybe this time I can rely on you to do as you're told!"

"He's the one that dug up the merchandise!" growled an irritated Lauden cautiously, his voice tinged with fear. "It's like I was telling you earlier… he got spooked. He couldn't live with what we were doing… changed his mind a few weeks back and wanted out of the deal entirely. I told him he couldn't back out now; that the guy you stole from would never miss a cent. But he couldn't live with the deal we made, even though he gave us his word. He was determined to somehow make things right." The security guard shook his head, clearly frustrated. "Devon didn't like being a bad role model for his daughter. That damned family of his screwed up everything for us…"

"Not yet, it hasn't," said the other man abruptly. "Devon Petersen is the least of our problems now." He held out the GPS locator in his left hand and studied its display. "We have to find that briefcase and bury it again before it gets light outside… before they find him." He pointed toward Petersen's unmoving body.

"Then let's do exactly that," agreed Lauden. He retrieved his walkie talkie and activated it. Although he kept his voice calm, for the most part, his stomach was completely unsettled. "Ed, there's nothing out here," he said, doing his best to speak normally and ignore his frayed nerves. "Petersen and I are going to walk the grounds one more time to be certain, and then we'll check in. It'll take about twenty minutes."

"Acknowledged," replied Ed almost instantly. "I'll make another pot of coffee."

"Copy that," nodded Frank Lauden as he terminated the transmission. His gaze shifted toward Mike, who was still framed mostly by shadows. "All right, let's find that briefcase."

"Not yet. First things first," said Mike with a negative shake of his head. "Find those diamonds I slapped out of Petersen's hand."

Lauden began shifting his light back and forth across the area between his position and the nearby, gurgling fountain. On the walking path, several points of light glittered back at him. "Okay," he decided with a firm nod. "Let's do this."


Author's Notes: I'm working with a new laptop this time around, so please bear with me if there are a few typos here or there. This keyboard is not as comfortable as the previous one was for lengthy periods of typing. If you want to help me beta/proof each chapter, please PM me with corrections. That way the reviews won't contain information that changes as I correct and replace chapters where needed.

This story is taking some time to form in my mind, and I'll probably write a bit slower than usual (and perhaps not as much). Bear with me… I have just discovered with Chapter One that mysteries are very complex and difficult to put together!