Rating: M

Trigger warning: Extensive description of gore and death, the gays, cursing, possible non-con stuff (not necessarily rape but non-consensual touching)

Summary: Rick ends up the last of his family left alive. Not wanting to live all alone, he kills himself and finds himself back in his hospital bed when his life first went to Hell. Once he get's proof this is actually real, he's not letting anything stop him from saving his family.

Preface

"Baby girl- baby girl I'm so sorry" Rick clutched Judith,his six year old daughter, to his chest. They were trapped - Walkers were closing in in them from all sides. The glass was creaking under the weight of the undead, the groans were a dreadfully familiar lullaby. "I wished it wouldn't have come to this," The putrid stench wafted through the truck, like third hand smoke, it clung to everything left living or dead. No amount of washing would remove the smell. "I thought we were safe. We had food, shelter, family… I didn't expect all of that to have an expiration date."

"Daddy?" Judith whimpered, her small hands clung to Rick's collar "Whas wrong?" Having grown up without a civilized society and the casual walker nipping at her ankles, Judith didn't fully comprehend the severity of the situation she and her Daddy were in.

Daryl wasn't going to leap out of the woods and start taking down walkers with arrows and blades. He couldn't - even if he wanted to. The knife to the back of the skull prevented any chance of motor function past death.

Water clung to Rick's lashes, adrenaline was pumping through his veins. He had to do this for the both of them. His only wish was that he could have granted the same courtesy to Carl… It was with trembling hands that Rick lifted his gun. His breath caught in his throat.

"Da?"

"I'm so so sorry Baby girl- my lil' asskicker..." Rick took a deep breath and leveled the muscle of his pistol with Judith's temple, "I love you baby girl. Can you ever forgive me?"

Some semblance of understanding crossed Judith's face. "I'd never hate you Daddy! I love you!"

Tears slipped down Rick's face as he cocked the safety back. "I love you too Judy. Please tell Carl I wish I could see him..." He steeled his nerve and took a deep, shaky breath. Knowing this would be one of her last moments living in this hell, Rick pulled Judy and planted one last kiss onto her forehead. "I love you-" The trigger clicked.


Blood and brain matter littered the passenger side window. Sharp intakes of breath accompanied the ringing in his ears and the raspy groans that surrounded them.

"I'm so sorry!" Rick wailed, and clutched Judith's limp body to his person, "Baby girl! Baby girl - NoOO!" His cries fell on hungry ears. The dead outside began to pound more severely onto the windows to gain access to the fresh meat inside the truck. RIck ignored the walkers outside and fell into a new wave of grief.

He turned his pistol towards himself and watched how the warm metal glinted in the muted light. "See you soon Shane." Rick opened his mouth, unhinged his mouth enough to fit the beginning of his muzzle into his mouth. He took a slow breath through his nose, the ache in his jaw was arbitrary, but Rick relished this last bit of humanity left within him.

Rick closed his eyes and heard the click of the safety. He didn't want to hold this out much longer - he had a special place in hell waiting for him. He sent one last withering glare to the monsters shambling outside. 'Eat shit'

The trigger snapped and all senses were lost.