Everytime he looks at me with those big blue eyes and that crooked grin, I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Every single time he speaks to me I feel the butterflies start to flutter, the earth loose its gravitational pull.
But I swore to myself to never put myself in that position again, no way in hell would I be that vulnerable again. No one would ever ever say Quinn Fabray was weak.
I am strong and independant. I will not fall for him, not another jock that will break my heart again. Despite what everyone thinks, I loved Finn, he was kind, well kind of stupid too but he loved me, well he said he did, even though he was flirting with Rachel all the time behind my back. And then there's Puck who tore me and Finn apart and got me pregnant, because he too loved me, even though he didnt just flirt with Santana but practically the whole student body despite the fact that I was carrying his baby.
So I know what love is, love is just one big excuse to open up your heart and get it torn apart. I have loved. And I have hated that love, but really I have hated myself. Because despite what they did to me, I did it to myself. I was the one that felt insecure in my realtionship with Finn, so when Puck told me I wasn't fat, that I was pretty I fell into bed with the guy while I was drunk, but who is the one that put the bottle to her mouth, definatly not Puck. And Finn, if I cared sooo much about him then why did I pretend he was the father, because I was a coward.
So love has royally screwed me over, and at night when I would cry and pray and wish things were different I decided that after giving up everything...Finn,my body, my...my baby. I would be a different person. I would be kinder, and stronger, and confident. And I wouldn't love. Not again.
So why is my heart beating when I sing with him...why do I feel so warm under his stare...why...why would I fall for you. Sam Evans.
