After a discussion on twitter with my pervy h00rs about the unbelievability of most stories in the way of Edward taking Bella's virginity, I came up with this little drabble. Laugh its funny cause you can probably relate to it. come complain to me on twitter punkfox825


Tonight.

It's happening tonight.

I blew out another long breath to try to relax myself. Any normal girl would be nervous about her prom night but I had extra reasons. Edward and I had been going steady for two whole years. We had done all your typical teeanger stuff. Made out in the back of his car and on the couch when my dad wasn't home. He had even snuck in my window in the middle of the night more then once. We had as my best friends Alice and Rose called it "dry humped till the cows came home".

That was all fine and dandy. Tonight though we were going to go all the way. We both had gotten accepted into U of W and I for one refused to go to college a virgin. I now knew what it felt like to be those kids in "American Pie". I was pulling out all the stops to make this a sure fire night. I had always envisioned my first time with candles lite and rose petals on the bed as we mad love all night long. Just like you see in the movies. I couldnt wait to make it become a reality.

Alice and Rose had taken me shopping months before for the perfect dress. I felt like a god damn princess when I put it on. We had even made a special stop to get the perfect bra and panty set to go under it. We made the much dreaded trip to the corner store for condoms to be fully prepared. Of course my worst enemy Jessica Stanley had to be working that day. It did help to give her a bitch face when her mouth dropped open as I tossed the box of condoms on the counter. She had been wanting in Edward's pants for as long as I could remember. So for her to realize why I was buying that box it was a sweet moment in my book.

I slipped on the pale purple lacey shorts and matching bra. Just as I pulled up my gown I remembered I would need help zipping it up. Alice must have read my mind cause she burst out of the bathroom where she had been finishing her makeup at that exact moment.

"I gotcha." She glided in behind me and swiftly pulled the zipper up.

"Thank's Ali." I spun around for her to check out the whole picture. "So?"

"It's hot."she smiled at me nodding her head.

There was a knock at my door. "Come in!" I yelled past Alice.

Rose appeared in the door way. "Are we ready for the most epic night of our life bitches?"

Yeah Rose was a bit over zealous, but we loved her anyways. "I come baring liquid courage for our little Swan."

She reached into the clutch she had bringing out a shiney silver flask.

"Oh thank god" I almost mauled the poor girl as I jumped her and took it out of her hands. I unscrewed the lid and tossed it back swiftly.

I grimaced as the burn made its way down my throat. "Ahhhh"I shivered.

We passed the bottle around a few more times before there was another knock at my door and Rose hid it behind her back just before my mom entered the room.

"The boys are here." She announced.

We all looked at one another and broke out into huge grins. Tonight was definatly going to be epic.

8===========D

We drove to prom in a stretch limo Edward's parents had rented for us. It was so awesome and made us all feel like we were adults. Prom was being held at a hotel in Port Angeles so his parents had even rented hotel rooms for us so we didnt have to drive back late at night. It was supposed to be guys in one room and girls in another but of course we got around that. Rose's older brother Royce rented her and Emmett a separate room so that the rest of us could have the other two.

We mixed and mingled the night away with all our classmates. It was defiantly feeling like we were closing a chapter of our lives. I couldnt wait for the start of the next chapter that would begin tonight once Edward and I returned to the room alone.

About midnight I had finally had enough and grabbed Edward and gave him the look I hoped conveyed it was time to go. He read my mind and after a swift goodbye to our friends we were in the elevator leading up to our room.

We barely even made it in the door before Edward's lips were on mine. So much was being conveyed in that one kiss it made my head spin. We some how made it to the bed. As Edward bumped into it I parted from him and pushed him to sit on the edge. I bit my lip as I suddenly became nervous over what was going to happen. All this build up and suddenly we were here.

I turned around so my back was to him. "Can you help me with my zipper?"

Edward's hands were shaking as he pulled my zipped down, releasing me from my dress. I turned back facing him and let my arms fall to my side. The straps of my dress slid down my arms as my dress fluttered to the ground. I was standing in front of Edward in nothing but my special underwear. Edward's eyes took me in from head to toe. I could feel his heaty gaze as he took in my surprise.

His arms reached around me to pull me closer to him. His nose ended up in my belly button and I could feel as he inhaled deeply. He began leaving little ghosting kisses all around my belly button that left my inside fluttering and the skin burning. I reached behind me and released the clasps to my bra. Edward's eyes rose up as my breasts hit the cool air in the room.

"God...Bella..." He whispered as he nuzzled into my clevage and began leaving little open mouth kisses.

As much as I have invisioned the smooth slow act with the candles and flowers I realized we had already had two years worth of foreplay. I was ready to get this show on the road. I tugged at the tie on his neck until it loosened enough to slip over his head. He pulled back just long enough for me to slide it off and toss it across the room.

I deftly undid each button on his dress shirt as I also tugged it out of his pants. I unbuckled his belt and pulled him to stand so I could get his pants off. I could see the buldge in his boxer shorts as I tugged his pants to his ankles. The sight alone left me wet and ready to go. His lips met mine as I spun us around so my back was to the bed.

I pulled away and shimmied my body up to the top of the bed. I tucked my thumbs into the sides of my shorts and pulled them off slowly before tossing them in Edward's direction at the foot of the bed. With my feet flat on the bed I bent my knees and opened my naked body for the first time ever to him. Edward hesitated , taking me in, for only a second before he was divested of his own underwear and making his way up the bed to me.

He leaned back on his haunches as he reached me. His tongue darted out nervously as he took me in.

"God Bella...you...beautiful." I didnt even register all his words. I was far too concerned with the third leg sticking out from him.

How the hell was I going to fit that in me?

I suddenly became nervous on how this was all about to work out. Edward was kissing up my stomach and I leaned over to the side table that I had left the box of condoms. I gulped a breath as Edward's lips met my neck. I tugged on his hair to let him know all this wasnt necessary. After all, we've done this part before. I wanted to get to the rest that I had been missing.

Our eyes met each others as we each panted in breathes. I bit hard into my bottom lip as I held the condom between my two first fingers in front of his face. He looked between it and me before opening his mouth.

"Are you sure?"

Afraid of what would happen if I opened my mouth I simply nodded my head up and down a few times. Edward kissed me deeply one more time before snatching the condom from my fingers and tearing it open. It took him a few seconds of looking at it before he seemed to figure out what he was doing and rolled it on himself.

His hands came back down on the mattress on either side of me. He seemed at a loss as to what to do next. "Umm," he swallowed visibly as his eyebrows furrowed."H-H-How do you wanna do this?"

I wrapped my hands around his head and brought him closer to me. "Just...go"

He reached down to grasp himself and I felt as he moved the head of his third leg through my folds wetting him in the process.

He kissed me once and whispered he loved me as I took a deep breath and tried to relax. With one thrust he had made me feel like I was splitting in two.

...

THAT HURT!

Edward stilled as he pushed in full hilt. I took a few deep breaths as I tried to breath through the throbbing pain radiating in my nether regions.

Edwards lips were as my ear, "Are you ok?"

I nodded as the pain began to subside. It wasn't nearly as painful now and I hoped maybe if he started moving it would disapear all the way.

"Go...move in me.." I whispered back.

Edward pulled his hips back till only the head was still in me before pushing back in. I breathed gratefully that the pain was still going away. I clung to his back as he thrust twice more. Suddenly as his hips met flush with mine they jerked and I could feel him pulsing inside of me.

I stopped breathing.

Was that it?

Did he just...cum?

Was he...done?

His shuddering breath as he pulled out and rolled over to the side of me was my cue that my thinking was correct.

"Oh god. Bella...that was..."He gasped as he tried to catch his breath. I looked over to see the shit eating grin on his face.

"That was what exactly?" I asked with my voice full of snipe.

Suddenly Edward looked at me. "It was great. I mean wasn't it? Didn't you...you know?" He nodded his head down towards my lower half.

"Does it LOOK like I did?"

"Oh man. Bella...I mean...if you give me a few minutes of recovery time we can try agian."

"Recovery time? RECOVERY TIME? You just split me in two with that monster third leg hanging between your thighs and you want me to Try agian?" I couldnt help it I was yelling at this point. I had never been so disapointed and pissed off in all my life. All this build up for...that!

Was he fucking kidding me? I now knew were the term two pump chump came from. Did he seriously think I just got off from that?

I rolled off the bed and realized I was going to need a shower to rinse off the consequence's of that damn thing being shoved in me.

"Bella wait...where are you going?"

"I am going to take a shower and see how much damage was done to my neither regions no thanks to you. Goodbye Edward." I sneered as I grabbed my bag and locked my self in the bathroom. I realized a few things as I turned on the shower and waited for it to warm.

Tonight was definatly epic...in all the wrong ways.

Thats not how it was in the movies.

AND

I would have rather went to college a virgin.