Hey. This is my first ever story and it's probably not really good, but if you do like it please review (and be totally honest; I'm a big girl). If you find any errors or have a question please PM and I'll get back to you. I know, I know I totally destroyed some of these character's personality but I was just experimenting. I couldn't imagine any of them using such explicit language in real life.

And hey, if you do read this entire thing and only be slightly offended, you're a good sport. Don't hate me too much, yeah?

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Luna Lovegood, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, or any other characters or references. All are property of a Miss J. K. Rowling.

I. Loony Luna: The sharp sound of a large mug being slammed on the counter of the bar made Ginny jump with a start, tearing her attention away from the television in the far corner. She turned her head slightly, watching out of the corner of her eye as a drunken Luna Lovegood begged the bartender for another drink of firewhisky. "No…no, this is for the ride home with Her-me-on. She drives like-" she stopped to mime a rollercoaster with her wobbly left hand. She then proceeded to slam it down on the counter and let out an unruly bark of laughter. Ginny grimaced and turned away.

She was waiting for Hermione to come back from the lavatory so they could start off home. It was Luna's twentieth birthday and soon both Ginny and Hermione learned how Luna planned to celebrate: getting hammered at a bar with her two best friends at her side. Well, sort of. An embarrassed Hermione had made many excuses to slip away from Luna's company: numerous trips to the bathroom that were starting to trigger Ginny's suspicion and going outside to smoke although she obviously didn't smoke and even if she did, she could do it right there in the bar.

Ginny looked around. There was only one other person left; a blonde man slumped over a butterbeer with an issue of the Daily Prophet in his lap. Ginny thought the figure strangely familiar, but brushed the thought away when she spotted Hermione making her way back over. She took her spot on the seat to the right of Luna and forced a smile. "Ready to go Luna?" she asked as politely as she could muster. Luna stared up at her with bloodshot, mascara smeared eyes. Hermione's left eye twitched slightly. "I'll tell you when I'm ready to go, Muggle. Ha!" Luna replied in triumph. Ginny swore she saw the bartender shake his head. "Luna," Ginny growled in a low voice, "I think you've had enough fun for the night. You've flirted with every guy that sat at this bar, like you said you'd do. Let's just go, alright?"

Luna swayed a little in her seat, surveying Ginny through slit eyes. "Bitch, I'll tell you when I'm ready to go!" she threw her head back, laughing. Ginny lunged towards her, but Hermione stood up and grabbed her by the waist just in time. "Ginny, please don't. Not here." Ginny wriggled out of Hermione's grip and frowned. "Right then. Unlike some people, I'm going to show a little self control." She adjusted her collar and made her way back over to Luna, who was grinning at her imagined comical genius. "Okay, we can go." Luna proposed. "After I flirt with that blonde bloke over there." She pointed towards the man in the corner, who didn't move or look up although Ginny was certain he had heard Luna, considering how loudly she was speaking.

"Whatever. Go talk to him, do your thing, and when you're done you come right back over here and we leave. Got it?" Ginny instructed, incredulous. Luna got up from her seat and sashayed over to the blonde gentleman. "My bad, but I don't think my mother was a ginger." she called over her shoulder. Ginny made to go after her, but Hermione caught her again. "I'm this close, Hermione." Ginny mumbled to herself, demonstrating with her index finger and thumb centimeters apart.

Luna leaned over the table the blonde man was sitting at, exposing fair amounts of cleavage. Ginny and Hermione watched on in horror. The blonde man looked up, exposing his face for the first time. He had a pale, pointed face with defined features and cold, grey eyes. "Draco Malfoy?" Ginny and Hermione screeched in unison. He looked up at Luna and sneered, his preferred trademark. Luna looked over to Ginny and Hermione, twisting her face in mock fright. "Shit, it's a Death Eater!" she slurred. Draco frowned and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. There was peach coloured foundation rubbed on the spot where his Dark Mark usually was that clashed poorly with his porcelain skin. Hermione shuffled fearfully over to Luna, grabbing her forearm and practically dragging her towards the door. Ginny stared at Draco, who stared back with his empty eyes. "Still friends with the Mudblood and the blood traitor, are you?" he spat coldly at her. She rushed out the door, biting her bottom lip. She stopped about a foot out the doorway, searching around for Hermione and Luna. She spotted the pair arguing next to Hermione's car.

"Hey, what's going on?" Ginny said as she approached the two, who stopped yelling and turned to her. "I think you saw what dumbass over here pulled in there, did you not?" Hermione growled. Luna rolled her eyes. "I didn't do anything! You embarrassed me for no reason!" Hermione shot her a deathly look. "You don't go around accusing people of being Death Eaters, even if they are!"

"Um, I think if he was a Death Eater, he'd be wearing a fucking mask!"

"Not if he's out getting coffee or something, how much sense would that make?"

"How would you know, Mudblood?"

"Excuse me?"

Ginny stepped between the girls, motioning for Hermione to step back. "Calm down, we're not going to fight over this." There was a howl in the distance, but none of them seemed to have heard it. "Luna, that was completely uncalled for. I don't care how drunk you are, that wasn't right." Luna put a hand to her bony hip and shook her head. "Whatever. I was in the middle of something."

"You were flirting with Draco Malfoy, Luna, you're gonna thank me one of these days." Hermione muttered. There was a long, deafening silence as the girls got into Hermione's car and drove off. Luna was laying down in the backseat, groaning and retching. Hermione was trying her best to ignore the sickening noises.

"You're gonna have to pull over eventually." Ginny warned from the passenger side. Hermione chose not to heed this warning. Five minutes passed before Luna shuffled around in the backseat and sat up. She let out a soft burp ("Excuse you," Ginny provided), and then proceeded to throw up over the back seat. Hermione stopped the car abruptly. The force caused Ginny to jerk forward, bumping her head on the dashboard. "Didn't I tell you to pull over not five minutes ago?" Ginny yelled, rubbing a red mark on her forehead as Hermione started the car again, driving it into a tiny green field on the side of the road.

Ginny and Hermione dragged Luna out of the car and onto the crunchy, dew laced grass. They lay her petite form gently on her back as she continued to sputter curse words at Hermione and retch uncontrollably. Hermione glanced at her watch. It was nearing one in the morning. "We should take her to your mother, Ginny, I'm sure she knows how to fix this." Ginny watched as Luna rolled onto her stomach and began to sob. It was heartbreaking to see her like this, in the vein of watching a sick, helpless puppy. "Please, don't!" Luna sobbed, wiping a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. "She'll be so disappointed in m-m-me!" Ginny kneeled down next to her, patting her blonde head. "If we don't tell her about you and Malfoy, I know she'll brush this off." Hermione eyed her suspiciously. "Trust me, Ron's done this loads of times and she didn't mind helping him until he told her about what he did with Lavender-"

Hermione screamed. Ginny stopped patting Luna's head and looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. "Really, Hermione, one would think you'd be over him by now." Hermione swallowed hard and took a step back. "Ginny. Behind you."

Ginny got up from the ground and turned around in one fluid movement to find herself nearly nose to nose with a dark, masked figure. A slender figure that towered over her. A Death Eater. Ginny froze. She could feel Luna brushing against her ankle, hear her retching and gasping for air.

Ginny met the eyes of the hooded Eater. The cold grey eyes looked back at her. She had an idea of who it was even before he spoke. "What's this?" the drawling voice of Draco Malfoy taunted. Ginny looked around to see, much to her dismay, more hooded figures crawling from the dark. Her lip trembled as she took a step back, forgetting that Luna was there and stumbling over her. She fell to the ground, but continued backing away until someone grabbed her ankle and jerked. She looked down to see a dingy, paw-like hand latched to her exposed ankle. She kicked and kicked, trying to get one shot of the figure with the heel of her stiletto.

"Dinner," a deep, growl murmured hungrily. The stench coming from the werewolf was nearly unbearable. "And they're all dressed up too, like they were expecting us!" Ginny screamed, clawing at her ankle with her nails in and effort to loosen Greyback's grip, but it was useless. He simply threw his head back in laughter. There was a drawn out scream coming from behind Ginny. Someone had grabbed hold of Hermione. Ginny looked around for Luna, who was nowhere to be found.

Ginny was now being dragged by her ankle. She yelled and cried but no one seemed to hear her. She couldn't even hear herself.

II. Me & Draco: Ginny and Hermione woke with a start. They sat next to each other on the marble floor of an elegant home, directly underneath a large chandelier. Neither could move, but they weren't bound by anything visible. They simply sat quiet, Indian style, with their backs to each other. Hermione looked around. Luna sat on the loveseat about two feet away from them under a giant portrait of Draco Malfoy. She was looking up at the ceiling, smiling. "Luna! What the fuck are you doing?" Hermione snapped quietly. Luna craned her neck a little. "Trying to look at this picture. It's really cool, isn't it?"

Hermione sighed, asking sarcastically, "Wouldn't it be better to get up and look at it?" Luna crinkled her nose and shifted a little. "They told me not to leave this spot. So I'm not leaving." There were footsteps and voices coming from down the hall.

"Luna, don't you think you can help us out?" Ginny asked with a small sliver of hope, speaking for the first time. Luna shook her head and turned her attention to the grand piano in the corner. "Are you crazy? I'm fine right here."

"Why aren't you tied up though?"

"For one, I'm a pureblood. And I'm drunk."

"What does being drunk have to do with this?"

"I dunno."

At that moment, a group of Death Eaters stepped into the room, eyeing their prisoners disdainfully. There was immediate silence. "This is a really nice place the Malfoys have here, don't you agree?" Luna said to no one in particular. Ginny whimpered. Draco Malfoy stepped forward and looked down at Ginny and Hermione. "Potter decided not to join you I'm guessing?" No one said anything. "Pity." he said with a shrug. Someone cackled over in the corner. Hermione recognized the owner as the sadistic Bellatrix Lestrange. She stepped forward, standing next to her nephew.

Luna's eyes widened. "God, your hair is totally badass!" she slurred, staring at Bellatrix, who seemed surprised at the comment to say the least. With an air of a giggly teenager, Bellatrix ran her fingers through her dark, curly hair with a slight grin. "Luna," Hermione whispered calmly, "Please be quiet." Bellatrix's wand appeared seemingly from out of nowhere. Her grin had faded and she had stopped toying with her locks. She pointed it at Hermione, who closed her eyes. "You darespeak to a pureblood like that, you filth?" Luna cocked her head to the side with her mouth in the shape of a small O. "Crucio!" Bellatrix yelled. Hermione screamed out, her face contorted in extreme pain. Her shoulders clenched up as she attempted to writhe, but whatever had her tied up made moving impossible. When Bellatrix ceased, she drew back her wand to admire her affect on Hermione.

"The Dark Lord is growing anxious for the boy," Bellatrix started quietly. "I will ask you this once," she continued, moving closer to her captives, looking down on them like prey. "Where is Harry Potter?" None of them were quick to respond, of course, so she gave up taking the easy way and simply went to Plan B. "I'm aware that you were on the side of the Mudbloods, correct?" she asked her. Luna nodded, crossing her legs. "They're supposed to be my friends. But all they've done is make me feel bad."

Ginny was furious. I help her out and this is what I get? She thought to herself. "Could I possibly make you feel better?" Draco asked, taking a seat next to Luna. She smiled bashfully and nodded. Ginny took a deep breath, trying with difficulty to contain herself. "…I mean it's my twentieth birthday! I'm getting older. I wanna have fun, you know?" she went on. Draco nodded, a seemingly realistic look of concern on his face. "And before we left to go out, I decided to pre-game a little. I didn't think Hermione would mind. Boy, was I wrong. She flipped out! I was just trying to make the best of the night but I guess some people don't know how to have fun." Ginny clenched her jaw. She felt Hermione take a slow, shuddering breath.

Draco took Luna by the hand and stood up. "Can you show me your room? I bet it's awesome." she asked him, tugging on his arm. Draco smirked. "So is the bed." he said as Luna's face lit up in pure delight. Ginny groaned.

"Oh my God, Luna, this is the worst fucking time to get laid! Are you kidding me? Seriously, is this a joke?" Ginny yelled as she cursed herself for having accompanied Luna in he first place as the two walked off down the long corridor. The Death Eaters laughed. Bellatrix stepped behind them, facing the Death Eaters.

There was the sound of girlish giggling somewhere down the corridor. "My room's right here," Draco's voice said. No doubt his bedroom was close by. There was silence, in which Ginny took advantage of. "So, do you plan on us being tortured by listening to them fucking? Because I've heard my brothers in their rooms for ages and it doesn't bother me any. And how is this supposed to convince us to bring you to Harry?"

Her questions went unanswered. She was disappointed for some strange reason. There was a knocking noise from Draco's room. "Not on my face! NOT on my face!" Luna screamed. Ginny gagged in disgust. The Death Eaters were practically on their knees. "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!"

"Nice work," a Death Eater joked. The whole congregation of Death Eaters were fighting back tears and unsuccessfully biting back witty comments. "How is she even talking with her mouth full?" Bellatrix asked in mock surprise. Before more laughter could raise, a figure appeared in the doorway. It was Luna with Draco's wand. She slapped it against her open palm "Isn't it sad? Even consensual sex with Draco's like rape. Hope his parents aren't expected grandkids." She sighed nonchalantly, looking around as if in a dream she couldn't believe she was having. "We'll take you to Harry," she said after a moment of shocked silence from the Death Eaters, who had raised their wands, but were too stunned to attack. They couldn't believe their plan had worked. "as long as you don't try anything stupid. We wouldn't want Draco to lose his manhood would we?" Luna took a bite of the air and tapped her foot on the marble floor. She was completely serious. Bellatrix lowered her wand slightly. "Fine." was all she said.

She stepped to Luna, looking down at her with a strange expression. Luna looked up at her bravely and pointed to Ginny and Hermione. "Let my bitches go and we'll proceed to Mr. Potter's." Luna said. She's literally out of her mind, she's so intoxicated! Ginny thought nervously and she and Hermione stumbled to their feet as the spell released them.

They ran to Luna's side, eyes wide. "Luna, this isn't some fantasy, you're about to hand Harry over to these freaks!" Hermione whispered loudly in Luna's ear. The trio marched down the hall, Death Eaters quietly in tow. "That's what they think." she replied quietly. "Come on, Draco. No need to be embarrassed." Draco drifted out of his room glaring darkly at Luna. Hermione noticed a stain on the front of his robes that hadn't been there before. "The walls are too thin." someone joked. "Shut the fuck up." Draco growled.

III. A Bag of Fun: The moon peeked over the high trees, casting dark shadows onto the road leading to Godric's Hollow. It secretly gave Ginny the creeps. There was another thing on her mind though: Why hadn't the Death Eaters attacked them yet? What were they playing at? The only one with a wand was Luna. Hermione's was with Bellatrix and Ginny's was taken by Dolohov. Maybe since Luna gave in, they felt no need to attack, which wouldn't make sense now that she thought of it. She trudged reluctantly alongside Luna, who went on and on about her awkward experience with Draco.

"…you deserve it, Draco, for doing that on my face. It only made sense to wipe it on your robes, you little douche! I don't care if you did get them from France, forget that, I willingly offer to blow you and that's the thanks I get? You, sir, are a sick son of a bitch, do your parents know?" Draco was hardly listening. He was mortified; no one was laughing or joking anymore simply because they were so close to obtaining the most elusive Potter. Any other moment they'd never let him live it down. Suddenly, at the front of the group, Luna stopped and threw out her arms in front of Ginny and Hermione.

"This," Luna called out dramatically, "is it!" And she wasn't joking; it was indeed Harry Potter's home. It was a white, cottage-like house with a brick chimney emitting smoke. It was less than a block away from the site of his parents' home where they were killed nearly two decades ago by Voldemort. The place was well taken care of although right now it looked quite uninhabited. Luna turned to face the Death Eaters. For a moment, she looked ever so slightly like a tour guide, showing a group of masked madmen the landmark home of the Boy-Who-Lived.

Before anyone could move, a figure began to run towards them. Long, white-blonde hair trailed behind the figure and, as it approached, everyone recognized who it was immediately. "What the fuck are you idiots doing?" Lucius Malfoy screamed, brushing past Luna, Ginny, and Hermione and rushing straight to the Death Eaters. "It's daddy, Draco!" Luna taunted. Lucius stopped in front of the group of Eaters, staring incredulously. "Bellatrix!" he shouted and Bellatrix stepped forward, eyes slanted. Draco was at her side, naturally. "When you told me what you were planning to do, I didn't think you were serious!" he yelled at her.

She barely recoiled. Instead, she rolled her eyes. "Come off it! We have Potter in the palm of our hands now, look!" she pointed towards the small cottage. "He's probably in there sleeping or something, completely unaware that we're out here!"

Luna cleared her throat loudly, causing everyone in the group to stare at her. "Actually I think he probably knows something's up, I mean if a bunch of people in masks were standing practically outside your door, you'd know something was up. And be a little more quiet, yeah?"

Lucius turned back to Bellatrix, face red with frustration. "What is going on here?" Bellatrix crossed her arms defiantly and began to explain. "We followed these girls after they left a bar. They pulled over onto the side of the road in their Muggle form of transportation, and we took them back to Malfoy Manor to interrogate them about the whereabouts of Potter…unsuccessfully. We planned for Draco to, um," she threw Draco a nervous look, "seduce some answers out of the blonde one…but she took his wand."

Luna cheered. "And his virginity!"

Bellatrix continued, trying her best to ignore Luna. "She promised to lead us to Potter so we followed them here." Lucius rubbed his temples. Hermione threw Ginny a confused look, unsure of what they should do next. She was also wondering whether or not Harry was even home. "You idiots. You fucking idiots. When I felt my Mark burn I thought you might have had a second thought about your "plan" and thought of something more reliable. We go over these things together before we do them half-arsed." Luna stifled a laugh. "And you used my son for your foolish game! Bellatrix, this is the most irresponsible thing you've ever done!"

Bellatrix looked down at the ground. Most of the Death Eaters did the same. Hermione looked around helplessly. Luna was humming to herself casually. And Ginny was wondering what the hell was going on. All was quiet expect for the wind's steady howling until Draco spoke up. "When was the last time you ever had any good ideas, hmm Father?" Lucius stopped rubbing his temples and stared at his son. "Excuse me?"

Draco drew himself up to his full height. His face was inches away from his father's. "I know you heard me." And without missing a beat, Lucius drew back his arm and smacked Draco across the face. Draco stumbled backwards, clutching the side of his face which had turned bright red. "Don't you ever in your life speak to me in such a manner." Lucius warned in a low voice.

Luna let out a bark of laughter. "Shit, Draco, he just bitch slapped your ass! High five!" she raised her hand to Lucius, who stared back at her. "Right, right." she said with a grin, lowering her hand. Lucius turned to Bellatrix. "Did you even verify that Potter was home, dear Bella? Or I assume you followed gut instinct and came here because this silly girl told you he was?" Luna had stopped giggling and now stood solemnly. Ginny was hoping she was starting to sober up and realize that this was serious. Lucius turned, directing his instructions at three Death Eaters. "You, three. Go up to the home and confirm whether Potter is inside." They obeyed, rushing up to the house. He grabbed Draco by the forearm and turned to the remaining Eaters. "The rest of you. Dispose of the girls."

Four Death Eaters turned to Luna, Ginny, and Hermione. They made a run for it. Lucius turned away and walked towards Harry's front door clutching Draco and Bellatrix at his side, fuming. As they ran along, Luna slipped her hand down the side of her dress. She pulled out two wands, handing one to Ginny and the other to Hermione. "How did you get these?" Hermione asked, shooting a Stunning spell over her shoulder. A Death Eater fell to the ground, causing another to trip over. The other two followed the girls, shooting Killing Curses every which way.

"Let's just say Draco's not too reliable. Ginny, duck." Ginny continued to run, ducking her head a little. A beam of green light shot over her head and bounced off the mirror of a shop window. It shot upwards. "How did you-" Ginny started but Luna interrupted her. "The Nargles, naturally." A wave of nostalgia swept over Ginny as Hermione directed them to take a right. They stopped at the gate of a depressing graveyard. Ginny tried to pry the gate open, but it wouldn't budge. Luna pointed her wand at the gate. "Alohomora!" she muttered. The gate swung open.

After running through the graveyard, they seemed to have lost the Death Eaters. "Luna…what happened back there?" Hermione asked, sliding down the side of a mausoleum. She wrapped her arms around her knees, panting for breath. Ginny kneeled down beside her, face in hands. "No, no, guys. Harry's not home. Hasn't been all day." Luna informed the two confidently. Ginny looked up. "How are you so sure?"

"Auror training. Remember he wants to be one? What's today, Friday? On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays they have Auror training held at the Ministry. And, unless Harry's called in sick or something, he hasn't been home since five a.m." Luna drew herself up proudly, a wide grin on her face. It was as if she had just told them that Nargles did indeed exist and she had proof.

"I can't believe you thought I would sell out my hero. Come on, I wasn't that hammered." Luna assured them, kneeling next to Hermione. She patted her head softly. "True. But you did get pretty shitfaced that's for sure." Hermione joked. For the first time that night, they shared a laugh. It echoed through the empty graveyard long after they had stopped chuckling and exchanged relieved glances among each other. "Harry's your hero? That's sweet." Hermione said softly. She looked up at Luna, who was grinning. "Yeah. Hey, wow, I'm so sorry about tonight. If you guys wouldn't have had to pull over, those dumbass Death Eaters wouldn't be chasing us right now."

Hermione waved off her apology. "Really, we've eluded death on a number of occasions, this one's no different…I think it's your hangover setting in."

They sat in silence for a second, listening for any sounds of approaching Death Eaters. "I just can't believe we got off this easy, but whatever…I think we should Apparate to the Burrow." Ginny offered. Hermione and Luna agreed.

Ginny stood up, extending her hand to Hermione. "Well, tonight's just been a bag of fun, huh?" Luna grumbled. Ginny held out her arms, as if about to fly. Hermione grabbed hold of her left, Luna took her right. "Oh yeah, especially for me and Draco."

IV. Last Night…About That: The mouthwatering aroma of apple pie and cinnamon filled the home of the Weasleys. Molly was swaggering around the kitchen, preparing a midnight snack for Ron and Harry, who had dropped by after Auror training for an emergency visit around four in the morning. It was now nearing six a.m. "…place looked like it was ransacked!" Ron was saying in frustration. Molly set down a glass of milk in front of Harry and sighed. "Thank you, Mrs. Weasley." he said in appreciation. He took a short drink, and then set the glass down. "And not one person in the Hollow saw anything!" Ron continued, angrily taking a sip of his drink. Molly shook her head. "Really, Ronald! Harry's perfectly calm about the whole ordeal and it was his home." she turned to Harry and smiled sympathetically. "Drink your milk, Harry. You need your calcium."

"Right," he said with a smile. He took a long swig of his milk before turning back to Ron again. "And I haven't heard from Hermione all day." Ron complained. "She took Luna out for a birthday surprise or something earlier and told me she'd call." Harry shrugged, wiping away his milk moustache with a napkin. "You're just being paranoid. Or maybe she's moved on." he suggested. Ron gaped back at him as if he'd just slapped him across the face. Molly agreed with Harry. "He's got a point. Remember Lavender Brown?"

Ron's face flushed. He had never been so humiliated. "Merlin's balls, even my mum knows about my personal life!" Before Molly could reprimand him for using "Merlin's balls" in the house, there was a knock at the front door. Ron rushed to the door before anyone else could even move and swung it open. His face lit up in delight.

Ginny, Hermione, and Luna dragged in, wands in hand. Ron led the trio into the kitchen. "My word, girls, what happened?" she rushed to prepare a glass of milk for each of the devastated looking girls. They couldn't bring themselves to explain, especially when they noticed Harry was there. "Well me and Harry were coming back from Auror training and noticed his door was wide open. So he's like 'Ron, I told you to make sure the door was closed!' and I'm all 'Blimey, Harry, why the hell would I leave the flipping door open?' and then we're bickering until we get inside and-" he shakes his head. "The place is looted. We called the Ministry to investigate and came here."

He took a seat next to Harry, who didn't look the least bit worried. "I knew this would happen eventually. You were right, Ron, I should've never moved into Godric's Hollow, I mean-" he cut off in midsentence when he looked up and saw Luna was crying. She was actually crying. The entire night she had giggled and cracked up over the slightest of things, and now she was crying. Harry got up to wrap an arm around her shoulder. She snuggled her head into his chest. Ron groaned.

"Luna, what's wrong?" Molly asked, patting Luna on the back. She sobbed harder. "D-D-Death Eaters…tied us up…Draco…not on my face, please…" she burst into tears on the spot. Molly, Ron, nor Harry could decipher what she meant exactly but they got a good idea. Molly turned to Ginny and Hermione. "Okay," Hermione said, "I'll tell you what happened."

"What?" Ron had just asked the same thing five times over the course of the hour that Hermione (and occasionally Ginny) used to recall the tale of the disastrous night. Harry had cradled Luna and carried her up the stairs to Ron's old room when Hermione had finished. When he came back down, it looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Ron, if you're not going to interject something helpful, be quiet." Molly snapped at him. He shut up immediately. Hermione leaned over and rested her head on the table. For the first time that night, she closed her eyes for a second and imagined that the night had been a dream. A bad dream that she was simply retelling to Ron, Molly, and Harry for entertainment. She opened her eyes and sat up again. Everyone was staring at her.

"The only thing I'm really not sure about is how Luna knew that you wouldn't be home, Harry. I know she didn't really mean to sell you out but she couldn't have just guessed it all!" Hermione said. Harry shifted nervously and looked around.

"We've been together for about a year. I told her about the Auror training and everything." Ginny and Hermione gasped, Molly went "Awww!", and Ron went pale. He got up from his chair and faced Harry. "You didn't even tell me! Why?" he shouted. Harry shushed him and pointed upstairs. "She's sleeping! And I didn't tell you because you're unstable, Ron. You would've told anyone who'd listen! For once in my life, I want to know something the Daily Prophet doesn't know. Is that illegal, Ron? Is it wrong to want a little privacy?"

Every eye was on Ron now. He shook his head and took his seat. "Actually," Harry started again, still eyeing Ron throw slanted eyes. "I was hoping you'd pick up that we were, um, dating but nobody seemed to notice I guess." He rubbed his eyes. Ginny lit up immediately. "Goodness, we've all been so stupid! Luna said Harry was her hero back at the graveyard. And she had this dreamy look in her eyes…aww…"

Ron smiled slightly. "Draco has absolutely nothing on Harry."

Ginny and Hermione fell in behind Harry, walking upstairs to Ron's old room. Luna lay quietly in her bed, hair released from the messy bun she had kept it in. Her grey high-tops had been kicked off and now lay in a sloppy pile in the corner along with her ankle socks. The toenails of her dainty, bare feet were painted forest green - Harry's favorite colour. Luna would never have flaunted such a "gross" colour any other time, but for Harry she spared her feet. Harry took in every note of her perfect body as he quietly walked into the room, Ginny and Hermione in tow. He leaned over her curled up form, planted a kiss on her lips, and stood back up awkwardly when he remembered Ginny and Hermione were still standing there.

"I'll be downstairs." he mumbled and walked out, shutting the door behind him. Ginny and Hermione took a seat at the edge of the small bed. Luna woke with a start. "Oh, hey, it's my bitches." she said with a laugh. Despite everything, it had been a great night for Luna. Ginny patted Luna's calf. "What you and Harry have is sweet, Luna. Yes, he told us." she said, taking in the look of horror on Luna's face with a grin. Luna shifted, lying flat on her back and stared up at the ceiling. No giant portrait of Draco Malfoy.

"I've been a shitty girlfriend." she said after a moment of craning her neck at awkward angles. "I know this, so don't say otherwise. I'm guessing you told him about me flirting with everyone and…that thing with Draco." Hermione nodded.

"We're sorry. But Harry was honest with us about you so we had to be too." she said consolingly. Luna giggled. "It's fine…I love him, though, I just can't be…tied down." her smile faded. A lone tear slid down her cheek. "I can hardly even remember what we did last night!" Hermione got up and sat closer to Luna. She grabbed Luna's hand and squeezed. "Let's see…you got drunk, flirted with Draco Malfoy, threw up on the side of the road, got kidnapped by some stupid Death Eaters, complimented Bellatrix Lestrange on her hair, gave Draco Malfoy head, stole his wand, threatened to bite his dick off, tricked the Death Eaters into thinking you were taking them to Harry, watched Draco get his shit broken by his dad, ran through a cemetery to elude some more Death Eaters, explained why you did what you did, suggested we Apparate back here, and voila we're home." This made Luna feel slightly better because she cackled through the whole summary. There was a knock at the door and Harry entered. Ginny and Hermione got up, wished Luna a good morning, and headed back downstairs for an early breakfast of pancakes. Harry curled up in the bed next to Luna and kissed her again, savoring every thing about her he could. No matter how incompetent the Death Eaters were tonight, he could've lost her.

Luna was apologizing over and over again, but he simply silenced her with another kiss to her neck. "It's alright, Luna, we all make mistakes." Harry assured her, looking into her tear streaked blue eyes. He lay next to her on his back, as she curled up, head on his chest. His steady heartbeat was comforting to Luna. "I know they're still after us…they didn't just give up easy like that, I know it." she said, sniffling uncontrollably. Harry took her hand gently in his and kissed it. "Shh…" Apparently nobody downstairs could hear their loud love making, because when the two went down for breakfast a while later, no one seemed to notice a thing.

Luna sat next to Harry, both with double servings of breakfast. They both smothered their pancakes in thick molasses and ate happily.

End.