A Cooking Experience

SUMMARY: Hermione attempts to cook omelettes, failing badly, and Ron learns to speak the truth.


It was a bright, sunny Sunday morning. Streaks of sunshine shone through the blinds, brightening the kitchen. Birds were chirping softly outside, a sweet, musical melody. The air smelled freshly of flowers and new mown grass.

Hermione was in high spirits today. She hummed as she flipped through the pages of a recipe book, browsing through the pages and looking at each picture. She had decided to cook breakfast for the whole family today. She had not cooked for a while and wanted to start with something simple. After a few flips, she decided to make omelettes for breakfast. After all, nothing could go wrong with omelettes, right?

She studied the instructions carefully and took out eggs, ham, and the flavouring required. She clearly had lack of talent in cooking. She cracked and beat the eggs forcefully, sending bits flying into the air. She groaned as she waved her wand to clear up the mess, before proceeding to slice the ham, failing as the pieces came out in unequal sizes.

She then turned on the flame and poured the egg yolk on a pan, completely ignoring the box of butter placed next to her. She added the ham slices, dumping them on the pan carelessly. Following the fourth step of the recipe, she folded the egg with a fish slice, and flipped it over after a few seconds. Then, referring again to the recipe, she began adding salt and pepper, unknowing the big fire she had set. When she flipped the omelette again difficultly as some parts were stuck to the pan, its yellow surface was turned to black, and a smell of burnt filled the air.

Panicking, she began dumping piles of salt and pepper on it, attempting to cover her mistake. This had little use as the black surface was still clearly seen. She placed the omelette onto a plate, and adding yolk to the pan, she made another omelette, hoping that the next one would be better.

After twenty minutes, she put the last omelette, its surface charcoal black on a plate, and with a wave of her wand, the plates flew through the air, landing on the table neatly.

"Breakfast's ready!" she shouted as she took off her apron.

Their children, Rose and Hugo got into their places quickly. Ron, who had been watching television, walked lazily to his seat. Of course, their reaction to Hermione's cooking was not good. Rose spat out her bite of omelette immediately, while fake vomiting and coughing voices made by Hugo followed. The two then ran up to their rooms, despite the calls of Ron.

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. "Is my cooking really bad?"

"Of course not. You know I always love it when you cook," Ron said with an encouraging smile.

"Then try it Ron," she urged.

Ron stared at the sprinkled black substance in front of him. His stomach did a flip. This thing was sure to give him a stomachache, not to mention vomiting. However, he did not want to disappoint his wife, and shutting his eyes tightly and pinching his nose, he took a big bite.

He was suddenly relived that they used to dine out. The omelette tasted horrible. It was the kind that made you wants to scream out and wash your mouth repeatedly with soap. His face turned pale and his features were scrunched up together. He drank big gulps of water as he forced the omelette down his throat.

Looking at his expectant yet curious wife, he smiled and took several deep breaths before eating another piece. This time, he felt the urge to vomit.

"Nee-d to go to was-hr-oom," he croaked out, before rushing to the washroom like a madman, earning a curious stare from Hermione.

Once in the washroom, Ron threw up everything he had eaten that morning in the sink. He had heard from Hermione's friends that her cooking was bed, but this, was beyond horrible. It tasted as if it had been rotten for weeks and was taken out from the rubbish bin. He cursed his wife silently under his breath.

"Ron?" Hermione's worried voice came from the other side of the door. "Are you alright?"

"Of course," he said, a little too quickly. "I just needed to um…WASH MY HANDS! Yes! I got um… some yolk on my hands and I wanted to wash it away!" He tried desperately to think of a lie.

He's going to the washroom to wash his hands? How strange. She was perfectly clear that Ron was lying. He had never been a good liar. She had eaten a bit of omelette herself and knew how horrible it was. In order to punish his dishonesty, she came up with a plan to set a trap for Ron.

Ron came out of the washroom after a few minutes, his face pale. He walked to the dining table, ready for his torture. What he didn't expect was his wife sitting with the sweetest smile on her face.

"Ron, you're back."

He nodded, and immediately after sitting down, swallowed large bits of omelette without chewing it. He heaved a sigh of relief when he finished it, secretly glad that the torture was over.

However, things always go the opposite way.

Hermione set her plan to action. With the sweetest smile she could manage and her eyes filled with eager, she asked her husband.

"What do you think of my cooking?"

It's too horrible that I can't even find words to describe it, he thought, but dismissed the thought immediately. Instead, he said the opposite to make Hermione happy.

"The omelette tastes wonderful! It's the best I've ever tasted!" he lied, while trying hard to keep his face straight.

"Really?" she flashed a smile towards him. "I've cooked three extra omelettes and I was worrying about what to do with them. But since you like them so much, I'll give them all to you."

Ron's jaw dropped. His torture was far from over.


A/N: Please review! Your comments make me happy