The Evil Brain-Buster of Disaster and Destruction


A/N: ireneotaku and I went to my anime club's spring party (even though we didn't really do anything spring-like), and she won this crazy puzzle that NO ONE COULD FREAKING SOLVE. So I asked if I could write a story about it.


DEDICATED TO IRENEOTAKU… AND YOUR EVIL PUZZLE.


Constructive criticism is accepted and very much appreciated! This is rated T for teen due to mostly language, slight suggestive themes, and exposure to idiots. People of the internet, you have been warned. Enjoy the mental scarring!


I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything else famous that people may have heard of before reading this.


Yugi walked into the Kame Game Shop after school. He sighed as he threw his schoolbag behind the counter next to he grandfather.

"Hello there, Yugi," he welcomed, "how was your day today?" Yugi sighed.

"The usual," he explained, "Ryo tried to avoid the girls by hiding in the boys' bathroom, Anzu kept hitting on the pharaoh living inside my body, Jonouchi and Honda were… being Jonouchi and Honda…" Grandpa nodded.

"Maybe you should help out Ryo," he advised, "and let Anzu know that the pharaoh isn't interested."

"Why would I do that?"

"Oh, never mind," Grandpa quickly changed the subject, "hey, I got something here that I think you're going to like, my boy!" He ran over to one of the shelves in the store, and thirty minutes later he came back with a clear, plastic cube with what looked like a maze and a small silver ball inside.

"What the hell took you so long, old man?" Yugi complained.

"Sorry Yugi," Grandpa explained, "but my legs aren't as fast as they--"

"Still Grandpa," he interrupted, "it only took you 29 minutes to get from the counter to that shelf yesterday. I think you should start working out before you let yourself go."

"Never mind my personal fitness," Grandpa smiled, "I want to show this puzzle."

"Do you mean that plastic box?" Yugi asked.

"Yes," Grandpa answered, "Wanna give it a shot?" His grandson sighed and took the box.

"Alright," Yugi agreed, "Since I apparently never loose anything, I guess I can do it." He grabbed his schoolbag and walked up the stairs. After he got in his room, he threw the bag on his desk as he sat in his chair. He began having a starring competition with the plastic 3-D object.

"Schoolwork is obviously secondary to games," Yugi said, "so I'll start working on my college future once I'm done with this." He picked up the cube and began turning and twisting it around in his hands. After about 30 minutes, he put it down and scratched his head.

"What's wrong Yugi," Yami asked as he materialized behind the hikari, "You've managed to solve my 3,000-year-old puzzle from Egypt. Surely this should be a piece of cake!"

"For the record, Pharaoh," Yugi countered, "It took me 8 years to finish it."

"…Or was it 5,000…" Yami mumbled, ignoring his hikari's comment.

"What," Yugi growled, "It's impossible to even live in a body that long!"

"I was talking about how old I am," Yami explained, "It's not really clear whether I'm 5,000 or 3,000 years old."

"What the hell does that have to do with this freaking puzzle?!"

"Absolutely nothing, Yugi!"


Yugi walked into the classroom a few minutes early and saw Jonouchi and Ryo already inside.

"Hey, Ryo," Jonouchi said, "I've got a question fo' ya." Ryo sighed.

"Look," he said, "if you ask one more time about my accent, then so help me--"

"No, no," Jonouchi responded, "It's not that this time!"

"Then what is it?" Ryo sighed.

"I was just wonderin' why ya wear a different school uniform than everyone else," the blonde wondered.

"…What?" Ryo asked confusingly.

"Why is yor uniform different?" Jonouchi asked again.

"It's not different," the white-haired hikari countered, "I just wear the jacket buttoned up all the way."

"Hm… I don't know," Jonouchi said unconvinced, "it has a different design, and it's a slightly different color…"

"It's not different!" Ryo insisted.

"Hey guys!" Yugi yelled as he ran over, purposefully ending the conversation. Ryo's a smart kid, but he seems to have a tendency of arguing with people over stupid things. This was no exception. But maybe it was something that everyone goes through… Yugi remembers arguing with his grandpa one time about using oil or apple sauce in a cake.

"Hiya, Yug!" Jonouchi greeted. Ryo just smiled and nodded. Pretty soon, Honda and Anzu joined them.

"Grandpa gave me a new puzzle yesterday," Yugi explained as he pulled it out of his bag.

"Oh great," Anzu murmured, "I hope this one isn't going to take you eight freaking years and have a sexy ancient Egyptian spirit sealed inside of it."

"Uh, it's made out of plastic, so I highly doubt there's any spirits in it," Yugi answered, "And I'm going to ignore that little comment you snuck in."

"Can people have three spirits inhabiting their body at one time?" Jonouchi asked.

"I don't think it's ever happened," Ryo responded.

"We weren't asking you!" Honda roared.

"Anyway," Yugi went on, "I stayed up all night trying to figure it out, but I haven't managed to. Not even Yami could figure it out. Any of you want to try?"

"Can I try?" Ryo asked as he reached for the cube. But someone snatched it away before he could grab it.

"I think I'll take a look at it," Jonouchi said. When he had a grip on the square plastic, he began twisting and turning it, over and over, and after ten minutes, he set it down with a frustrated look on his face.

"That little piece of crap is impossible to figure out!" he yelled.

"Let me have a go at it--" Ryo asked again. But Honda got to it first.

"I know exactly how to figure it out!" he said triumphantly. He pulled the puzzle up close to his face, and he began to stare down at the silver medal ball. Anzu sighed.

"Honda," she nagged, "for the last time, you DON'T have telekinesis!" Honda looked away from the ball and looked at Anzu.

"Hey, you don't know that!" he countered. Before he turned back to the puzzle, it was out of his hands.

"Hey," he growled, "who took that?! I was almost there!"

"You couldn't solve it even if you had all eternity, you moron," a gruff British accent responded.

"Bakura," Anzu continued to nag, "it's not nice to steal things." The white-haired yami stuck out his tongue.

"Shut up you slut," he growled, "Besides, I'm a thief, so you guys should have seriously seen this coming."

"Hey," Yugi said, "can I have my puzzle back--"

"Silence, mortal," Bakura interrupted, "I have solved the most difficult and dangerous traps in the world without a scratch! I can handle this…" After ten minutes, the yami slammed the block on a desk.

"This thing is even more evil than Zorc," he roared, "how can anyone be expected to solve this thing?!" After cursing at the unloving object for another five minutes, he released his host.

"So what's Bakura gonna do?" Jonouchi asked Ryo. The hikari shrugged.

"He'll probably go angst in his soul room for a little while," he responded. He turned to Yugi and his unsolvable puzzle.

"Please," he begged, "please let me have a shot. I swear I can do it!" Jonouchi laughed.

"Alright, Ryo," he offered, "If you can do it in under five minutes, than I'll give you twenty bucks. But if ya can't than you'll owe me that much!" Ryo nodded. Jonouchi pulled out a twenty dollar bill as the hikari picked up the puzzle.

Jonouchi gave the signal, and Ryo began turning the cube all around. Everyone watched as the little ball inside fell deeper and deeper towards the center. And, just as the four minute mark was beginning, the ball dropped into the goal. Jonouchi's mouth was left agape.

"Ryo," Yugi asked in awe, "How? How did you solve it so fast?" The other hikari cleared his throat as he set the game down in front of Yugi.

"Well," he explained, "When you're abandoned by your so-called friends all the time, you're gonna need something interesting to do." He grabbed his schoolbag and pulled the money out of Jonouchi's fingers. As he walked out the door, he turned around and smiled as he waved goodbye.

"Hey you know what I've noticed," Honda commented, "We kinda missed class, and no one said anything to use."

"Like we do work on any normal day," Yugi said sarcastically.

"But there's something else I've been wondering," Honda murmured, "what was that comment Yugi was talking about earlier?"


A/N: Well, I had fun writing this one! And ireneotaku, I hope you liked it, and good luck on that puzzle… that is, if you haven't abandoned all hope for it. Please review!