No one really knows Jasper. Really understands his gift, knows how he thinks--even Edward. Yes, Edward can read his surface thoughts, but he cannot see into how he feels, his reasoning, because Jasper is different. As an empath, his entire life, his entire existence is ruled by emotions. His own emotions, and those of the others. His power does not make him feel special, nor does he abuse it. It is simply part of who he is.
Because of his abilities, he can love deeply, care about how someone is feeling, yet at the same time be withdrawn and taciturn. Jasper is, outwardly, emotionless and not talkative in the least. He is the type to stand in the corner in the parties, to shun attempts at friendliness or conversation.
This is not because he does not enjoy human--in the broad sense--nature. He glories in it. It is his life. It is only because he has disdain for the outward sense of society. What he is based in is the deeper, innate nature of each individual person, and it is this that he grips on. He does not base a person by their actions, words, or appearance. To him, a person is this inner self, this soul in religious terms, and it is this that he interacts with as an empath.
His past has hurt him. Every human or vampire he has killed has torn a scar into his very being. He did it because he had to, because he had no other life. Yet now, he is not Jasper, the right-hand man of a vampire empress. Nor, really, is he Jasper Hale, part of a group of vampires foolishly imitating a human family--which, in fact, amuses him. They are not human, nor remotely close to human. No, now he is only himself.
As an empath, he connects with this inner being of every person, understands and empathizes with them. He senses, not their thoughts, which he views as unimportant and variable, but their inner emotions, their inner selves. And he bonds with them--yes, every person, so that he cannot judge or control, because in a sense, he is that person.
He understands.
Even when he must kill someone, understands why he must, to protect his family-- Even then, it is difficult. Because he sees everything inside of them. After all, no one views themselves as evil. When he was forced to kill James, he killed him, but every tear of the vampire flesh was as if he was slicing away his own skin. Because he understands the killer, knows what he felt, feels his pain and desire for... what? Glory? Triumph? Revenge? The others, he can tell, thought this was all behind James' motives. But he, Jasper, knows otherwise. There was something deeper, something harder to understand, more like a need... to survive. To excel. To not fail.
Sometimes Jasper's decisions are wrong, or others would say they were wrong. Like that time, a little earlier than the incident with James, when Bella had escaped from him. He had sensed her motive when they had been in the airport, when she had asked to walk with him. Her fear, determination, and above all the need to escape had attacked him, blatantly obvious. And yet he let her escape--though no one had ever discovered that, even Bella. He knew he shouldn't have, that it put her in danger. But he felt her fear, her need to get to her mother... and without thinking of the consequences, he let her go.
And he never felt that it was wrong. Because she had willed it, she had wanted it, her inner self had needed to go. And he could not hold her back.
And now, when he is waiting for the plane to return, when he is worried, and angry, and bitter, he still does not blame Edward, for he felt what he did was right. But he knows--he knows--that there will be consequences.
For he already knows what this has done to Bella.
He feels her. Already. He feels her turmoil, her love, her devotion, her agonizing loss even though she is in the arms of the one she needs. Her emptiness.
He welcomes Alice back with a hug and a gentle, chaste kiss, yet his attention is on the boy and the girl. He reflects upon the fact that they are both so young and vulnerable. The girl, only human, had been gentle and weak before, without the years that turned a vampire cynical. However, her innocence has been lost with the months she spent in agony, and he can tell that her mind has aged, her inner self has aged. She thinks like a vampire now.
And the boy, also. Edward was the first to join the Cullen coven, the first Carlisle turned. As a result, even though he appears seventeen, most of the others treated him as older. However, Jasper has lived longer, and through more, than Edward ever had. And now, with Edward staring down with bleak distress at the girl in his arms, unsure, all cockiness lost, his inexperience is evident. He is not God, and he never will be. And he is just now seeing the results of his delusion that he knew what was best.
Bella impresses him, however. Before, he had seen her as weak and shallow, too devoted and attached, beyond her own good. Now, he sees that he had not been looking deep enough. Either that, or she has grown. She feels the same love for the vampire next to her, but it has changed. It is not blind devotion, but a regretful, and agonizing decision to continue. For him.
Her self is more hidden than other people's and that intrigues him. It is coated in a sort of shell, a mask, that hides her. Even without using his abilities, he can see this in her blank, emotionless stare. All these passionate feelings are inside her, but she is holding them back, keeping them contained, so that they are dulled and hidden. Perhaps even she cannot feel them. For a time.
He can tell that there will be no survival for her. Her light is extinguished. She may pretend to exist, for a time, but she, herself, the part of her that Jasper can see--it is dead.
"We rescued him. Both of them," whispers Alice in his ear. "They're both alive and safe now."
Jasper shakes his head slightly. "It is too late for her."
Jasper feels the feel, the worry, the dread in Edward. He does not want to talk to her, yet he does, as well. He needs to talk to her, but is frightened.
Imagine, the almighty Edward frightened.
He brings her in the door, and Jasper stays outside, listening. He does not feel awkward, as if he is eavesdropping. Neither does he care if Edward knows he is listening, but the mind reader is probably too preoccupied at this moment.
"Bella. We need to talk." Edward's voice, pleading, slips out of the window to where Jasper is perched in the tree.
"Talk, then." Bella is emotionless and dry, even... sullen?
Edward takes a breath, then leans forward to grip her arms. "Bella. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did this to you. I never dreamed... I never thought this could happen. That you would--that you could even think of--I thought you would forget. I hoped you would."
She drops her head, aimlessly playing with a strand of her hair. "Then you thought even less of me than I thought you did."
"No!" He brings her face up again to stare, entreatingly, into her eyes. "I--Bella, I love you. I lied to you, when I said that in the forest. I thought it would be best for you... to have me gone..."
She smiles, and Jasper feels the bitterness rise up in her. "I'm so glad you feel you have the power to make those decisions over my life."
Edward does not say anything in reply this time, and lets his arms drop. His voice, then, is agony-filled. "You won't take me back, then. You hate me." He feels only regretful acceptance. He knows he deserves what she has said.
She sighs then, and the bitterness leaves. She pushes him down on the bed and entangles her hands in his hair. "No, Edward, I love you. I forgive you. I'd forgive anything you do. I want you here, with me." She laughs a little, mockingly. "I guess that's what I am, a little puppy who'd follow you anywhere. Off a cliff."
Edward closes his eyes, mouth tense with pain. He takes a moment to speak. "I never had any idea that you would do that. That you would jump off the cliff."
The next words are a well-practiced lie. "I didn't jump off the cliff, Edward. I was cliff-diving. Jacob and his friends do it all the time. Don't angst. It was just a little fun. It was a mistake that it happened to be stormy."
It was a mistake, she says.
But Jasper can feel what she really thinks, what she really is.
He knows the truth.
