Fragile Flames by Child of the Faeries
Matt comes to America for his first American concert. While in New York, he decides to visit an old friend....... She teaches him a valuable lesson about life.
Love is a weird kind of thing.
Some people, looking into my tired blue eyes, would say I'm bitter. I just smile and let them think as they will. Looking out my window, I watch the streets of New York rushing by with thousands of people caught up in their daily routine.
They never stop to look at the beautiful sky or the lush green grass the grows between the cracks in the sidewalk. They don't notice children flying kites in the park or a beautiful butterfly gliding in the air.
Maybe I am bitter. But would you blame me?
Matt stepped off the train with the members from his band and smiled. So this was America. One of the friends hit him on the arm and shouted, "America, here we come!"
Ever since their first album, Matt's band had been soaring. They played everywhere in Japan, and now they were in New York to make their American debut.
All of the band members had their girlfriends with them, and Matt felt kind of out of the loop. He had never held a steady relationship with anyone.....so he was here alone.
"You'd better find yourself a date for the big event!" Chad said, messing up Matt's hair.
Checking into their hotel, everyone was given the rest of the day off. Their concert wasn't for two more days. Going downstairs, Matt hailed a cab and took off, thankful for a night just for himself.
At a shopping mall, he met a couple of cute girls who "accidentally" bumped into him. He smiled and talked about himself for a little while, but they weren't his style.
Girls, girls everywhere. He cursed under his breath and continued walking around. He was never going to find a nice girl with the type that hung around here....
Suddenly it hit him. How could he have been so stupid? Laughing at himself, he looked around for a pay phone. Finding one, he opened the pages to "T" and started paging through them.
"Hello?" Mimi said, opening the door to her apartment. A tall blond stood on the other side, holding a white rose. "Matt!" Mimi squealed, recognizing him immediately. "What are you doing here?"
"My band is here for a concert in New York and ..... Here, this is for you," he said nervously, thrusting the rose towards her.
"Would you like to come in?" she asked, her eyes glittering with mirth.
"Well I...... um, no, that's okay...... Yes, sure," Matt said, shaking his head. She laughed and moved aside.
"It's been a long time since I last saw you," Mimi said as she set down her pop and turned on some music. "How's life? What are our friends up to back in Japan?"
"I haven't talked to Tai or the others in a long time," Matt replied, almost sadly. "My band has kept me busy and all."
"So that's why you are here? In New York?"
Matt nodded. "We have our first American concert in two days, and we're all supposed to bring a date. The problem is, I don't have a girlfriend so..."
"The famous Matt Ishida? Without a girl? Horror upon horrors!" Mimi grinned. "What about the Jun girl?"
"She finally got over me..... now she's after Tai."
Mimi's eyes danced. Matt looked around the apartment. "Are you hungry?" she asked, standing up. "I can get you some food or-"
"No, that's okay. I should be getting back to my hotel anyway. But about our concert- would you go with me? Not really as a date, more just to spend time with an old friend?"
Their eyes met and Mimi reached out to touch Matt. "I'll go, but only if you promise me one thing."
"Of course," Matt said, hoping that she wasn't going to turn into another crazed fan.
"You have to promise that you won't fall in love with me."
The night of the concert came, and Matt put on his clothes nervously. He hoped everything would turn out okay. It was all so different here... in America.
The time came for everyone to leave and head over to the place where the concert was going to be held. The band jumped into three different cabs. "And we need to go to this address to pick up my friend," Matt said, handing the cab driver Mimi's address.
They were running late, so Matt dashed up the stair. Which one was her apartment??
"Matt? Aren't you a little late?" Mimi asked, walking out of her apartment. Matt almost ran into her and blushed.
"Sorry.... Wow, you look wonderful tonight." He blinked and Mimi giggled.
"Thank you. I found this old dress lying around in the back of my closet and thought, hey why not?"
"You know, you didn't have to go all out of this," Matt murmured as the walked down the hall. "It's just a concert."
"Just a concert that one of my very best friends is in! I haven't seen him in ages!! I might as well celebrate!" Mimi said, taking hold of his arm. Together they walked outside and into the cab with some of the band members.
"Where did you find the chick?" Chad teased, raising an eyebrow. "I never knew you have such taste."
"Yeah, shut up. This is my good friend Mimi. Mimi, this is Chad, a guitarist in our band, and his girlfriend, Sasha."
"Hi, are you from Japan, too? I used to live there a long time ago..."
The concert was a huge success, everyone agreed. But by the time the final song came to a close, Matt was exhausted.
"That was phenomenal!! I knew you were good at music, but I never thought you were THAT good!" Mimi exclaimed, giving him a hug.
"Hold that pose- Perfect!" the photographer said. "That will look great up at your web site, Ishida. But all those heart-broken girls...."
"We're just friends," Matt said with a laugh. "Let everyone else think what they like."
"Did you have a good time?" Matt asked later as they rode home in a taxi cab.
Mimi smiled. "It was really fun. Some of those girls were crazy!"
"Well, you know... it's the Ishida charm. What can I do?"
She shook her head. "Don't you wish." The cab pulled up at Mimi's apartment building.
"Well, I guess this is good-bye," Matt said softly.
"How long are you staying in New York? Maybe we could get together and do something. I could show you the town." Mimi fidgeted with her hair, and Matt tucked on a lock of it gently.
"That would be great. I'll call you, okay?"
"Come in!" Mimi said, giving him a weird look. "Friends are allowed to walk in without knocking."
"Yeah well......"She took his coat and he sat down on the couch. "Hey Mimi, what happened to the pink? I mean..... you used to be obsessed.....And now....."
"Well, you've got to grown out of everything someday, don't you?" She smirked. "Do you like my decor?"
Even to Matt's casual eye, the apartment was not something Mimi should own. The walls were painted a dark blue, and small quotes were framed around the halls.
"Dream as if you will live forever and live as though you will die tomorrow? Isn't that kind of depressing?" Matt asked, taking a Sprite from her hand.
"It's my ambition in life."
Matt took a sip of his pop. "Oh, I'm sorry." Silence filled the room. "You sure have changed a lot."
Mimi gave him a amused look. "Is change a bad thing?" Matt couldn't think of a snappy comeback, and Mimi smiled. "I love this song!" she exclaimed suddenly, jumping up from her seat. Turning up the volume, she turned to face Matt. "Aren't you going to dance with me?"
Matt looked uncomfortable. "I don't..... dance."
"You sure seemed to dance fine last night on stage," Mimi protested.
"Yeah.... but that was different!" But already he knew that he had lost and rose to his feet.
"Is that all the better you can do?" Mimi teased.
"I just..... feel stupid."
"There's no one here except me! Who cares?"
"Today I'm going to show you the town!" Mimi said happily as the two of them clamored unto a bus.
"Should I be excited or scared?" Matt teased, grabbing a seat near the back. Mimi smiled.
"You never know..." They arrived at a small park filled with little children playing at the playground.
"Do you want to fly a kite?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with mirth.
"Aren't we a little old for such childish things?" Matt said, arching his eyebrow. He was a rock star. What if someone saw him?????
"You take life for granted, Matt. Live a little. Let your soul be free!" She laughed, taking hold of his hand and dragging him across the park to where a vendor stood selling multicolored kites. Mimi purchased two and pulled him over to an open air. Matt stood and watched her as she started to run, letting her kite fly high in the air.
"C'mon Matt!" Mimi said, and Matt blushed. "You aren't......embarrass to fly a kite, are you? My goodness!" she declared her eyes sparkling. Her kite danced in the sky.
Matt startled to run , throwing his kite into the air. A gust of wind caught it and the two kites danced far above the two friends.
"Why don't you have a boyfriend, Mimi? Surely someone as pretty as you could have one if you wanted."
Mimi's smile faded. "I had one...... But he....... I'd rather not talk about it." She turned away, wiping a tear from her eye. Matt knew better than to try and broach the subject further.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking hold of her hand. He gave her a brief hug, shocked that he wanted to kiss her. He leaned his head forward and rested his lips in the back of her neck.
Matt's final night in New York was spent in Mimi's apartment. It was bittersweet, because the friendship that they had found in the last few days was just starting to blossom into something much more important.
"I'll write you often," Matt promised, eating some rice that she had prepared.
"Yeah right. That's a pie-crust promised. Easily made, easily broken." She laughed and flung some food at him, missing by a mile.
"You need to work on your aim," Matt teased, and she blushed. They talked late into the night, until finally, exhausted, Mimi lit her candles and turned off the lights.
"Isn't this the prettiest thing you ever saw in the world?" she whispered, sitting beside him on the couch, the candles flickering all over the place. "It's kind of like our lives. Something intense and beautiful and dangerous, but precious. Each of our lives are a flame, lighting the darkness of others."
"I guess.... I never thought about it that way," Matt mused, his blue eyes fixed on Mimi.
Mimi smiled, self-conscious, and then laughed. "I guess I wasn't really the person you thought I was going to be, was I? I used to be so clueless and ditzy..... I've changed so much since then. But Joe and the others.... they don't believe it."
"I think you're one of the most vivacious and beautiful people I've ever met," Matt said solemnly, meaning every word from the bottom on his heart. He cleared his throat. "In fact, there's something I need to tell you, Mimi, before I go."
"Please Matt, don't do this," Mimi said sadly, pulling herself away from him.
"I need to tell you....I think I'm in l-"
"I don't want to hear it!" Mimi cried, tears springing in her eyes. "I..... care too deeply about you to see you hurt. Please don't say that, Matt."
Their eyes met, and Matt could see the candles dancing wildly in her eyes. "Okay, Mimi-chan," he said softly, playing with the tips of her hair. "You know what I would have said."
Her eyes glimmered and he kissed both eyelids. "I never thought..... that I would meet someone I cared about so much," she whispered softly, and Matt pulled her close, holding her to his chest. She didn't try to hold back the tears anymore.
Matt held her, watching the flames twirl in an endless dance. He didn't understand what was wrong. Why should the only girl he love forbid him to love her?
When he left later that night, the tears had dried from her eyes. "Goodnight, Matt," she said softly, kissing his cheek gently as he walked to his cab. "Till we meet again."
He turned, taking hold of her hand. "You see that star up there?" he said, pointing to the biggest and brightest star in the sky. "Look at that star every night, and remember me. Where ever I am, I'll look up and see it, too."
He pulled her close and kissed her on the lips, never wanting to let her go. When they finally broke apart, he gazed into her eyes, only to see that she was crying again.
"I need to go," he whispered softly, stroking her hair.
"I know," she breathed, choking back the tears. "I'll see you again soon." Turning, she ran way, hiding her face in her hands.
Matt stood on the street corner, his eyes watching her retreating figure with mournful eyes.
I never married Mimi, never got the chance to see her again. Sometimes, when I sit here, old and tired, I try and figure out why she never told me. Did she not trust me for some reason? But I know that she did trust me, for she allowed me into a part of her life that no one else ever got to see- her soul.
I remember wishing on that star later that year, in Chicago. I wanted to pick up the phone and call her, but she hadn't answered in days. Watching that star, the strangest sense of melancholy drifted over me, and I watched in horror as the star- our star- illuminated for a brief moment and shot across the sky, disappearing.
Mimi had been dying of AIDS. Her boyfriend- the one she had mentioned only once- had never told her the truth. He had used her, and she died because of it.
I used to cry to God, asking him why he would take the one person that I loved, but he never answered. Disheartened, I became a recluse, hiding in the shadows.
Now my life is nearly over. It has all been for naught, except for one wonderful week when I learned that people can be good even in the most impossible conditions.
She opened my eyes, allowing me to see a whole new side of life. Death was leaning over her all of the time, and yet she never allowed her smile to falter.
Dream as if you will live forever and live as though you will die tomorrow.
I look at the pictures of us together, the ones taken the night of my concert. We both looked so happy. "Thank you, Mimi," I mouth silently. "Thank you for teaching me to slow down and enjoy life. And for giving me someone to love."
Closing my eyes, I feel tears falling on my old and wrinkled skin.
Matt comes to America for his first American concert. While in New York, he decides to visit an old friend....... She teaches him a valuable lesson about life.
Love is a weird kind of thing.
Some people, looking into my tired blue eyes, would say I'm bitter. I just smile and let them think as they will. Looking out my window, I watch the streets of New York rushing by with thousands of people caught up in their daily routine.
They never stop to look at the beautiful sky or the lush green grass the grows between the cracks in the sidewalk. They don't notice children flying kites in the park or a beautiful butterfly gliding in the air.
Maybe I am bitter. But would you blame me?
Matt stepped off the train with the members from his band and smiled. So this was America. One of the friends hit him on the arm and shouted, "America, here we come!"
Ever since their first album, Matt's band had been soaring. They played everywhere in Japan, and now they were in New York to make their American debut.
All of the band members had their girlfriends with them, and Matt felt kind of out of the loop. He had never held a steady relationship with anyone.....so he was here alone.
"You'd better find yourself a date for the big event!" Chad said, messing up Matt's hair.
Checking into their hotel, everyone was given the rest of the day off. Their concert wasn't for two more days. Going downstairs, Matt hailed a cab and took off, thankful for a night just for himself.
At a shopping mall, he met a couple of cute girls who "accidentally" bumped into him. He smiled and talked about himself for a little while, but they weren't his style.
Girls, girls everywhere. He cursed under his breath and continued walking around. He was never going to find a nice girl with the type that hung around here....
Suddenly it hit him. How could he have been so stupid? Laughing at himself, he looked around for a pay phone. Finding one, he opened the pages to "T" and started paging through them.
"Hello?" Mimi said, opening the door to her apartment. A tall blond stood on the other side, holding a white rose. "Matt!" Mimi squealed, recognizing him immediately. "What are you doing here?"
"My band is here for a concert in New York and ..... Here, this is for you," he said nervously, thrusting the rose towards her.
"Would you like to come in?" she asked, her eyes glittering with mirth.
"Well I...... um, no, that's okay...... Yes, sure," Matt said, shaking his head. She laughed and moved aside.
"It's been a long time since I last saw you," Mimi said as she set down her pop and turned on some music. "How's life? What are our friends up to back in Japan?"
"I haven't talked to Tai or the others in a long time," Matt replied, almost sadly. "My band has kept me busy and all."
"So that's why you are here? In New York?"
Matt nodded. "We have our first American concert in two days, and we're all supposed to bring a date. The problem is, I don't have a girlfriend so..."
"The famous Matt Ishida? Without a girl? Horror upon horrors!" Mimi grinned. "What about the Jun girl?"
"She finally got over me..... now she's after Tai."
Mimi's eyes danced. Matt looked around the apartment. "Are you hungry?" she asked, standing up. "I can get you some food or-"
"No, that's okay. I should be getting back to my hotel anyway. But about our concert- would you go with me? Not really as a date, more just to spend time with an old friend?"
Their eyes met and Mimi reached out to touch Matt. "I'll go, but only if you promise me one thing."
"Of course," Matt said, hoping that she wasn't going to turn into another crazed fan.
"You have to promise that you won't fall in love with me."
The night of the concert came, and Matt put on his clothes nervously. He hoped everything would turn out okay. It was all so different here... in America.
The time came for everyone to leave and head over to the place where the concert was going to be held. The band jumped into three different cabs. "And we need to go to this address to pick up my friend," Matt said, handing the cab driver Mimi's address.
They were running late, so Matt dashed up the stair. Which one was her apartment??
"Matt? Aren't you a little late?" Mimi asked, walking out of her apartment. Matt almost ran into her and blushed.
"Sorry.... Wow, you look wonderful tonight." He blinked and Mimi giggled.
"Thank you. I found this old dress lying around in the back of my closet and thought, hey why not?"
"You know, you didn't have to go all out of this," Matt murmured as the walked down the hall. "It's just a concert."
"Just a concert that one of my very best friends is in! I haven't seen him in ages!! I might as well celebrate!" Mimi said, taking hold of his arm. Together they walked outside and into the cab with some of the band members.
"Where did you find the chick?" Chad teased, raising an eyebrow. "I never knew you have such taste."
"Yeah, shut up. This is my good friend Mimi. Mimi, this is Chad, a guitarist in our band, and his girlfriend, Sasha."
"Hi, are you from Japan, too? I used to live there a long time ago..."
The concert was a huge success, everyone agreed. But by the time the final song came to a close, Matt was exhausted.
"That was phenomenal!! I knew you were good at music, but I never thought you were THAT good!" Mimi exclaimed, giving him a hug.
"Hold that pose- Perfect!" the photographer said. "That will look great up at your web site, Ishida. But all those heart-broken girls...."
"We're just friends," Matt said with a laugh. "Let everyone else think what they like."
"Did you have a good time?" Matt asked later as they rode home in a taxi cab.
Mimi smiled. "It was really fun. Some of those girls were crazy!"
"Well, you know... it's the Ishida charm. What can I do?"
She shook her head. "Don't you wish." The cab pulled up at Mimi's apartment building.
"Well, I guess this is good-bye," Matt said softly.
"How long are you staying in New York? Maybe we could get together and do something. I could show you the town." Mimi fidgeted with her hair, and Matt tucked on a lock of it gently.
"That would be great. I'll call you, okay?"
"Come in!" Mimi said, giving him a weird look. "Friends are allowed to walk in without knocking."
"Yeah well......"She took his coat and he sat down on the couch. "Hey Mimi, what happened to the pink? I mean..... you used to be obsessed.....And now....."
"Well, you've got to grown out of everything someday, don't you?" She smirked. "Do you like my decor?"
Even to Matt's casual eye, the apartment was not something Mimi should own. The walls were painted a dark blue, and small quotes were framed around the halls.
"Dream as if you will live forever and live as though you will die tomorrow? Isn't that kind of depressing?" Matt asked, taking a Sprite from her hand.
"It's my ambition in life."
Matt took a sip of his pop. "Oh, I'm sorry." Silence filled the room. "You sure have changed a lot."
Mimi gave him a amused look. "Is change a bad thing?" Matt couldn't think of a snappy comeback, and Mimi smiled. "I love this song!" she exclaimed suddenly, jumping up from her seat. Turning up the volume, she turned to face Matt. "Aren't you going to dance with me?"
Matt looked uncomfortable. "I don't..... dance."
"You sure seemed to dance fine last night on stage," Mimi protested.
"Yeah.... but that was different!" But already he knew that he had lost and rose to his feet.
"Is that all the better you can do?" Mimi teased.
"I just..... feel stupid."
"There's no one here except me! Who cares?"
"Today I'm going to show you the town!" Mimi said happily as the two of them clamored unto a bus.
"Should I be excited or scared?" Matt teased, grabbing a seat near the back. Mimi smiled.
"You never know..." They arrived at a small park filled with little children playing at the playground.
"Do you want to fly a kite?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with mirth.
"Aren't we a little old for such childish things?" Matt said, arching his eyebrow. He was a rock star. What if someone saw him?????
"You take life for granted, Matt. Live a little. Let your soul be free!" She laughed, taking hold of his hand and dragging him across the park to where a vendor stood selling multicolored kites. Mimi purchased two and pulled him over to an open air. Matt stood and watched her as she started to run, letting her kite fly high in the air.
"C'mon Matt!" Mimi said, and Matt blushed. "You aren't......embarrass to fly a kite, are you? My goodness!" she declared her eyes sparkling. Her kite danced in the sky.
Matt startled to run , throwing his kite into the air. A gust of wind caught it and the two kites danced far above the two friends.
"Why don't you have a boyfriend, Mimi? Surely someone as pretty as you could have one if you wanted."
Mimi's smile faded. "I had one...... But he....... I'd rather not talk about it." She turned away, wiping a tear from her eye. Matt knew better than to try and broach the subject further.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking hold of her hand. He gave her a brief hug, shocked that he wanted to kiss her. He leaned his head forward and rested his lips in the back of her neck.
Matt's final night in New York was spent in Mimi's apartment. It was bittersweet, because the friendship that they had found in the last few days was just starting to blossom into something much more important.
"I'll write you often," Matt promised, eating some rice that she had prepared.
"Yeah right. That's a pie-crust promised. Easily made, easily broken." She laughed and flung some food at him, missing by a mile.
"You need to work on your aim," Matt teased, and she blushed. They talked late into the night, until finally, exhausted, Mimi lit her candles and turned off the lights.
"Isn't this the prettiest thing you ever saw in the world?" she whispered, sitting beside him on the couch, the candles flickering all over the place. "It's kind of like our lives. Something intense and beautiful and dangerous, but precious. Each of our lives are a flame, lighting the darkness of others."
"I guess.... I never thought about it that way," Matt mused, his blue eyes fixed on Mimi.
Mimi smiled, self-conscious, and then laughed. "I guess I wasn't really the person you thought I was going to be, was I? I used to be so clueless and ditzy..... I've changed so much since then. But Joe and the others.... they don't believe it."
"I think you're one of the most vivacious and beautiful people I've ever met," Matt said solemnly, meaning every word from the bottom on his heart. He cleared his throat. "In fact, there's something I need to tell you, Mimi, before I go."
"Please Matt, don't do this," Mimi said sadly, pulling herself away from him.
"I need to tell you....I think I'm in l-"
"I don't want to hear it!" Mimi cried, tears springing in her eyes. "I..... care too deeply about you to see you hurt. Please don't say that, Matt."
Their eyes met, and Matt could see the candles dancing wildly in her eyes. "Okay, Mimi-chan," he said softly, playing with the tips of her hair. "You know what I would have said."
Her eyes glimmered and he kissed both eyelids. "I never thought..... that I would meet someone I cared about so much," she whispered softly, and Matt pulled her close, holding her to his chest. She didn't try to hold back the tears anymore.
Matt held her, watching the flames twirl in an endless dance. He didn't understand what was wrong. Why should the only girl he love forbid him to love her?
When he left later that night, the tears had dried from her eyes. "Goodnight, Matt," she said softly, kissing his cheek gently as he walked to his cab. "Till we meet again."
He turned, taking hold of her hand. "You see that star up there?" he said, pointing to the biggest and brightest star in the sky. "Look at that star every night, and remember me. Where ever I am, I'll look up and see it, too."
He pulled her close and kissed her on the lips, never wanting to let her go. When they finally broke apart, he gazed into her eyes, only to see that she was crying again.
"I need to go," he whispered softly, stroking her hair.
"I know," she breathed, choking back the tears. "I'll see you again soon." Turning, she ran way, hiding her face in her hands.
Matt stood on the street corner, his eyes watching her retreating figure with mournful eyes.
I never married Mimi, never got the chance to see her again. Sometimes, when I sit here, old and tired, I try and figure out why she never told me. Did she not trust me for some reason? But I know that she did trust me, for she allowed me into a part of her life that no one else ever got to see- her soul.
I remember wishing on that star later that year, in Chicago. I wanted to pick up the phone and call her, but she hadn't answered in days. Watching that star, the strangest sense of melancholy drifted over me, and I watched in horror as the star- our star- illuminated for a brief moment and shot across the sky, disappearing.
Mimi had been dying of AIDS. Her boyfriend- the one she had mentioned only once- had never told her the truth. He had used her, and she died because of it.
I used to cry to God, asking him why he would take the one person that I loved, but he never answered. Disheartened, I became a recluse, hiding in the shadows.
Now my life is nearly over. It has all been for naught, except for one wonderful week when I learned that people can be good even in the most impossible conditions.
She opened my eyes, allowing me to see a whole new side of life. Death was leaning over her all of the time, and yet she never allowed her smile to falter.
Dream as if you will live forever and live as though you will die tomorrow.
I look at the pictures of us together, the ones taken the night of my concert. We both looked so happy. "Thank you, Mimi," I mouth silently. "Thank you for teaching me to slow down and enjoy life. And for giving me someone to love."
Closing my eyes, I feel tears falling on my old and wrinkled skin.
